I'm putting a little extra butter on here for you, big guy

>I'm putting a little extra butter on here for you, big guy.

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>his theater doesn't let you put on your own butter

Was clogging my arteries part of your plan?

That's nice of her.

More butter mommy, I wanna be a big boy!

For me

>>his theater doesn't let you put on your own butter
why should I have to butter my own popcorn if I'm already paying for their overpriced shit. Service better be included
youtube.com/watch?v=_pecPr6Dt4w

Bitch where's Robert

>his cinemadome doesn't have several churns available so you can churn your own butter to put on your popcorn

I've never eaten popcorn with butter in my life. Seems disgusting.
You eat popcorn with your hands. They'll end up greasy and sticky as fuck if it's buttered
Salted or spiced popcorn is all you need

What a strange lad you are

>Enjoy the movie
>You too-Wait, I mean..Thanks.
>she giggles
I could've asked her out bros.

Does Robert still work here?

She would be your wife by now

I only like caramel popcorn

>You eat popcorn with your hands. They'll end up greasy and sticky as fuck if it's buttered
exactly what I'm thinking. Wth America?

Robert's been promoted and is the manager now.

It's fun to be greasy and eat like a ravenous beast

I bet you sick fucks just wipe on the seats aswell. Whole fucking theatre probably smells like grease and butter. No wonder that orange hair guy snapped and shot everybody

>You stupid idiotic wageslave. What makes you think you know how much butter I put on my own fucking popcorn? If I wasn't already focusing on the ins and outs of what the cinematic masterpiece I paid to see will hold for me I'd deal with this. Fuck you. I carry my own butter anyway. Your piss covering crock of shit is terrible. I swear to god if you're still on your shift when I get back I will pop your corn. Good bye.

Are falcons still a thing?

The stuff in theaters is vegetable oil and artificial flavor

why does that little shit on the left look so smug

kek

Because you just know

Brought my falcon to my local AMC , and they said they weren't going to let him in with me. I asked why and they said there wasn't actually any good reason to have falcons, that almost nobody brings them, and they're mostly a nuisance for the other theater goers. Fucking lost it right there and they lost me as loyal customer. Are they going to prohibit anvils next, or remove the showers?

>doesn't allow falcons
>has a no singles policy
why do theaters do this?

What did he mean by this?

4 U

thx

>remove the showers
they actually did this at my kinoplex. They said it was more cost effective if everyone showered at home so they wouldn't have to clean the semen out of the pipes.

...

And your theater was just fine with putting all those shower cleaners and semen suckers out of a job?

It was probably run by jews.

Good for him.

>go to my local cinema palace
>"Hey Jamal, I'll have two tickets for Guardians of the Galaxy 2. My friend is being lazy in the car, as usual!"
>I dont really need two tickets, I just pay for the second to avoid the no singles policy
>"OK, that'll be $41.50 plus tip, also I'll need two forms of ID"
>"Two I..ID? It's rated PG13?"
>"New policy sir, people have been trying to get around our no singles policy, which is strictly enforced by law to avoid another... well you know, sir. Just have your friend come in and show their identification card."
>"O..Ok I'll be right back"

I drove home so fucking pissed that stupid fucking nigger was so fucking smug I fucking hate niggers FUCK

So he's too good for his crab hat now? I'm not even hungry for my crab legs anymore.

So you're not going to buy crab legs unless it's from Robert? What are you, some kind of reverse-racist?

>be european
>take a bus to the theater
>one screen
>only movie is about two depressed lesbians raising a pet rock
>ticket four euros (15€ with VAT)
>only snacks are popped barley and licorice beans
>no butter
>can't even bring gun inside
>theater building simultaneously freezing and sweltering
>popped barley gets damp (theater was originally a Roman aqueduct)
>horsehair seats can't accomodate healthy adult male
>wait forty minutes for movie to start
>projectionist is on three week long on government mandated vacation
>give up
>take bus back to flat
>Stream the big bang theory on ultrafast Internet
>get buttmad about which condiments fat American slobs put on their food
I feel like I've seen this episode before...

fucking obama

did you cut a hole in the bottom like I asked? my daughter here is getting ancy

I said no butter, why the fuck do you think I need butter?

anyone have the godzilla one?

who are you quoting?

lurk more reddit

BASED AUSSIES

>reverse oreo

What's wrong with your eyes honey?

Use a fork and knife like everyone else. Yuros, I swear.

I usually sneak a large wooden spoon, more like a trovel, inside the theater to dine on my popcorn.

...

>They'll end up greasy and sticky as fuck if it's buttered
That's the best part. You get to wipe your hands all over the seat.

C-can I watch you pee?
It's not like you think, it just helps my falcon keep calm during the film, I swear.

I then put her in a half nelson and call the cops.

That liquid they pour on your popcorn isnt butter, therefore she is committing a crime in advertising that oil-based substitute as "butter".

Then everyone in the concession area would clap.

>only movie is about two depressed muslim lesbians brainwashing a small boy to think he's a woman and his journey towards being a transexual
Aside from getting the movie wrong as an European you pretty much nailed it.

Thank christ somebody posted it

>his shit doesn't have shit

THANKS BABY AND MAYBE YOU CAN LET ME RETURN THE FAVOR BY BUTTERING YOUR MUFFIN!!!FACT!!!

do it! she probably thinks it was cute

I like to butter it up and then apply a disgusting amount of white cheddar seasoning. Then I get a box of Goobers to eat with the popcorn for the perfect blend of sweet and salty. Wash it down with a 50/50 blend of Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper to drink.

One time I ate edibles before going to the theater and doing all that, it was insane. Too bad the movie was Spectre. The title sequence was mesmerizing though.

Just bring your popcorn scoop like your supposed to.
Mine even has holes so I can scoop the popcorn out of the liquid butter.
And no messy hands too!

his jacket is too big
like jeremy jahns

put it straight on your hole so i can slide straight in