You wake up with all of Superman's current powers. What do you do?

You wake up with all of Superman's current powers. What do you do?

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Fly.

Fling the Earth into the sun then swan dive into a black hole.

jack off and kill someone with my bullet jizz

>Fly around the Earth with new awesome powers
>Reverse time to yesterday
>No longer have powers
>Fall face first into a Fjord or something

I'm having a shit week, so that's how it'd go.

commit crimes without repercussion

>current
Die from Kryptonite poisoning.

Conquer the earth, then setup colonies on other planets in system.

Eventually kill myself because human beings aren't supposed to solve all their problems.

Get a breakfast. Then go back to my bed.

Probably go to San Fransico and bully the queers. Not because I hate homosexuals but what are they gonna do about it?

this honestly.

/thread

Try to be Superman.

Good luck with that considering the invulnerablity thing.

It would be incredibly hard to be Superman without Supervillians

Make 'um.

We're not trying to be Batman here

Read a book on glass making and then put the whole world in a bottle.

I'd start by saving lives and fighting crime.

Then I'd probably go and wreck ISIS for good. I mean we all agree they need to go, right?

Then i think I'd destroy Scientology. I mean they're not blowing anything up but everyone knows they're scary as shit and do terrible things.

Well I just invaded foreign soil to wage war and then disintegrated a religious organization but it was all for the greater good... so what else needs doing that no one else has the balls or the means to do? Maybe ruin Trump's campaign, maybe throw Hillary in jail...

Hell let's just make myself president. It's for the best.

Man it's too bad super powers don't exist in real life

>Can't starve to death
>Can breath in space
>Kryptonite doesn't exist
>Have no idea where the nearest Red Sun is
>You can't even kill yourself by flying into the sun

Man being a suicidal Superman would be hell

I put the world in a bottle.

Clean my house real quick, just to get it done ASAP.
Do my work faster then I used to, which is nice. Maybe get a raise with it.
Maybe do a bit of flying for a tick before getting on with my life.
Maybe if there's some disaster out there help out a bit, but massive disasters that super strength and super speed are required to fix aren't actually that common in real life.
Maybe stop a violent crime here and there if I get the chance, but that doesn't actually fix even the immediate problem like it does in comics, and my sudden intrusion is far more likely to escalate otherwise tense crimes into violent ones, and the other violent crimes would be so random and fast that I'd always get there late unless I could see the future.

In the real world Superman's powers would be real cool to have but kinda less useful then in comics because there isn't a robbery, supervillain, natural disaster or stick-up going on every thirty seconds like always seems to happen in comics. Even in the most violent cities in the world most deaths are caused by random incidents where it happened unplanned and without hint that the situation was going to escalate.

Put on a cheap Superman costume, rescue someone from a burning building, then whisper, "no one will ever believe you," before flying off.

Try to keep a low profile but blow my cover after I try to use my powers for profit

Probably on a straight path to world domination at that point on account that I wouldnt want to work with governments trying to tell me what the fuck to do when I'm basically god

ISIS would be hard to get rid of unless you had "Violent Extremist Vision" that let you ID one on sight. Superman's powers do not include an IFF Vision that lets him know automatically who is hostile unless they are screaming and holding a gun, which not all ISIS guys will be doing.

I think the best you could reliably do is take out their heavy equipment and arms storage (assuming you could find them and assuming they're all stockpiled in one place, which is unlikely) unless you plan to spend months hovering around Syria and learning to speak Arabic and putting together who works directly for ISIS and who doesn't.

Perfect

I rape the joker

Just wipe Islam off the face of the earth. Couldn't take more than a few days with Supermans powers

You fail.
The Joker isn't real and he's not a part of this scenario.

Make a good Superman movie.

Run a social experiment by removing every firearm from a country

It'd be easy enough to wait for them to make an assault then intervene, they have fairly defined territory and tactics. You could probably make a big dent in their efforts just by hovering and playing spot the VBIED.

Destroy Europe
Crash the Moon into the USA
Move to Japan

Actually no, that would be very hard too. Because Superman doesn't have "Muslim Vision" either and all someone needs to do is not openly practice it and unless you're looking with X-Rays in all directions everywhere simultaneously (which ALSO is not one of his powers) you'd never be able to fully suppress it.

You'd also end up spending most of your time outside the Middle East anyway, the vary majority of Muslims aren't even there anymore, they're in Malaysia.

Snap Zack Snyders neck and leave his corpse hanging from the WB watertower

Fly to space looking for ayy waifus, or alien life in general, I guess. Only read the beginning of new52 supes, how fast can he fly?

>thinks this would stop anyone

Fly around the world fast enough to suck my own dick

..and when you survive the black hole?

Gonna be a long time til heat death, m9. Best off taking a swim in a red sun.

Even then....

This
Plus super hearing and super vision, you can just sit in low orbit and scan entire countries in a matter of hours. You don't need to fight every member of Isis, just remove their ability to wage war

That would be a long-term thing then.
You couldn't just nip off and get it done in an afternoon, otherwise we'd have drone-bombed the shit our of their leadership ages ago (it's not like we'd piss anyone off by doing so); we can't even find them because we know they're somewhere in their territory but they move around a lot and unless you are also bestowed with terrorist-finding vision you'd have a hard time locating them.

Best bet is to remove manpower and equipment, which neuters them and leaves them easy pickings for the other groups in Syria and the Peshmergas or Assad's regime.

Superman can turn a city into glass in seconds. As for non muslims countries all you have to do is make a deceleration that everyone is to round up the muslims for execution of they will suffer the same fate and have everybody else do your work for you

You're not being very creative about this

Which is why he said to kill all muslims. Nobody indiscriminately bombs. Well the russians do but they lack our precision weaponry.

Doesn't superman have superhearing or something?

Couldn't he just listen for terrorist plotting?

Probably work down the list here
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It's basically perfect for nonexistent supers

I just think it's kinda funny when some poorly educated retards think that eradicating Islam means focusing on the Middle-East when in fact most dumbass white folks in the US haven't even met any members of the ethnic group that holds the largest number of Muslims on planet Earth.

It's like saying you're going to kill all chickens on planet Earth and start by shooting turkeys instead; you aren't even aiming at the right thing.

>You couldn't just nip off and get it done in an afternoon

I think you're underestimating how powerful and fast Superman is

my problem is you're still going to have a world full of fundamentalist nutjobs that will piggyback their way onto other planets once you develop the ability. It isn't just muslim nutjobs.

They're only 1 threat to western world.

Sorry, I forgot that part of Superman's powers bestowed the ability to instantly speak Arabic. Silly me.

Nobody mentioned the Middle east until you though. You're putting words into people mouths

>Only read the beginning of new52 supes, how fast can he fly?

Billions of times lightspeed. Only gets faster with time too.

Who cares? We were just talking about the practically of the thing not the repercussions you autist

Give Superman an English to Arabic dictionary and he can master the language in a minute. I'm not joking, comic Superman is broken as fuck

If we could prove the muslims in malaysia, indonesia and various other countries in Indian and Pacific ocean were harming the west, we would be bombing them.

Same with Philipines and any other asian country.

Quite a few countries in South East Asia are attacking their own muslim population on their own like Burma.

I think he focused there because we have tangible links to attacks in Europe and those attempted in the U.S


I think when you know you have an overwhelming superiority and cannot use it without causing massive collateral damage..the fight to not use it becomes a large hypothetical pull.

We've had the capacity to end all of our foreign problems for about 70 years. To do it precisely, about 26 years. To do it with very little resistance? 23 years or so.

So remove any repercussion to yourself and then it opens up an entire field of alternative thought.

No one, not even me (user who first suggested stopping Isis) suggested it would happen in an afternoon. I figured it was obvious that this would take time.

Besides, Super learning and speed reading are actual things.

And you're not imaginative enough. Or thinking very far ahead. Or actually knowing things outside of comic books, which are not a reflection of the real world.
Yeah; the human race would pretty much side against you for doing that. I know you're thinking "oooh, but nobody cares about duh meslums" but all you need to do is watch the news or read a history to show that as soon as civilians die in droves suddenly everyone sees you as the bad guy.

I mean you could kill the whole world who hates you and refuses to interact with you forever because you represent everyone's worst nightmare, but that would just mean you'd be bored because you emptied the universe of life that could ever communicate with you in any way and would live nearly forever completely alone and without human contact.

Nothing. Continue to live as a civilian until my hand is forced.

The parts surrounded in red get thrown into the void between galaxies.

I'll probably force greece to pay their denbts and likely push the island of Japan under the ocean, too.

Seriously? That sounds broke af. How did anyone ever write threats to this guy? Whatever, ayy pussy here I come

This is a smart choice.
Like, I'd do shit here and there on the down-low, but FUCK setting myself up as some pretentious nerd's idea of God because I read one too many comic books.
I don't need the grief, way too much a hassle for me.

Flash's powers might be a bit more useful, I always have trouble getting to places in time and need to get things done fast, and I don't really need all that other stuff I don't want.

Fear keeps people in line.
Do you seriously think the human race would fight to the very last man in the face of extinction against a vengeful God-dictator?

Other characters in the DCU are just as fast and then you have speedsters like the Flash who are broken as fuck. There's no exact speed for him but the idea is that traveling to other planets with life takes only minutes for him.

His powers fluctuate depending on the needs of the plot and the writer. Like ALL comic superheroes, by the way.
For comics fans a lot of comic book readers on here sure as shit don't sound like they actually READ comics.

>How did anyone ever write threats to this guy?

because even though he could very easily, Superman doesn't want to snap parasite or luthors necks faster than their brains could process it.

He also limits his speeds in atmosphere as to not ignite the air and tear up the continents.

Remember he doesn't have magic anti-friction-granted-via-speedforce powers like the flashes.

No, I was thinking nobody could stop me

...

I think he's a triggered Muslim who has taken this hypothetical personally

So Superman can't drown or snap his own neck or suffocate in space?

>What do you do?

I make everything right.

I like how you think your edgy Supergod angle would be satisfying to you at all.
There's literally nothing about your life that has mentally prepared you for becoming something like that and if you think there is then you are massively self-delusional.
It'd be like bring World President of Aloneness; no human being would ever willingly contact you out of pure fear, the job of maintaining what you created would take every hour of every day for all eternity with no breaks or room go social interaction at all.
You'd have no friends, no family, no lovers, no loved ones, no anything.
What's the point of being God if you get literally nothing out of it? Your life would be even more pathetic then it might be right now because for all your power you'd have less then even the most wretched groups on Earth often manage.

And let's face it, if you were GOING to go out and rape someone (the only way anyone would ever actually get close to you ever again) you'd have done it already in real life. It's not even hard to get away with, most rape cases in real life go unsolved.

He doesn't need to breathe, no. Sunlight keeps him going.

But yeah he might be strong enough to break his own neck.

You can just put on some glasses and live a normal life

No, but he's triggered an adult who thinks edgy kids need to let their balls drop before posting online.
Seriously, he's like that kid who posted about "sharing affinities with Sephiroth" from FFVII on Sup Forums and meant it with zero irony.

>"I'll just kill all the dudes, that will solve all my problems!"

It's less about playing God and more about all the things you can do that you couldn't before. Like, if you saw a child drowning in a pond, wouldn't you be obligated to save it? Getting the powers means you'd be capable of doing that shit on a much larger scale

See Besides it's not like every threat and changed presents itself as a brawl. Superman had people and things he cares about. A lot of his stories are about protecting Metropolis, or Lois, or the Kent's, or Earth itself, and not about just punching a bad guy over and over.

I think this was a joke thread that's gone to far

See you're under the false impression that majority of non-muslim world would care. We've been bombing muslim countries on and off for 30 years. If you account for British and French fucking them up before us..its been like hundred plus years.

Hm...fair point.
I think if you ACTUALLY had to play Pretentious Flying God, you'd have to do it incognito. Never get seen, never slow down enough to be spotted, never explain yourself, never rule anything openly, and never bother being too public.
Everything happens fast and random without any explanation to anyone. You'd end up being treated like some freak natural occurance nobody could explain, but you'd get a normal life of your own and eventually folks might learn not to do stuff, though in actuality they might just be smarter about doing them.

>I think this was a joke thread that's gone to far

Welcome to Sup Forums

Ok you're right. Having Supermans powers wouldn't be enough You would have to be Stardust

I'd help out with stuff like that, but that shit happens a lot less in real life then you'd think unless you spend every minute for the rest of your life saving people.
Which Clark can't do BTW; he doesn't physically NEED sleep, but if he looses three days his mind starts to deteriorate just like hours does and he becomes irrational and starts seeing hallucinations.

Actually was a World's Finest storyline about that.

Why's Morroco safe?

That might work.
He's basically The Wizard That Did It.

Nice straw man bro

No one's suggesting that they'd want any of that, or that they'd enjoy it. You're the one bringing that into the discussion. The argument here has been about the hypothetical viability of it being possible.

Besides, the two proposals you're arguing against are a troll (kill all Muslims) and a cautionary tale (become supreme leader) which you might have realized it you weren't so desperate to masturbate your perceived intellectual superiority.

Have a friend who is working there for a year. Might be a god now, but I'm still thinking out for my friends.

If I was intellectually superior I wouldn't even be on Sup Forums a 1:18 at night when I work at 5AM tomorrow, so I won't make that claim.

They have some pretty cool beaches too. Nice food as well.

>I wouldn't even be on Sup Forums a 1:18 at night when I work at 5AM tomorrow

I don't really see the corollation. Intelligence gets beaten out by addiction/laziness in pretty much 100% of people.

You gonna bother sleeping the few hours?

Make a lot of money and have sex with a lot of women. I'd "protect" the world and save people in my free time. I would be the strongest man-child in existence.

I'm severely insomniac actually.
And I might just call in sick.

I wouldn't do vigilante bullshit, not unless a Godzilla level threat happened. I feel like I'd be better off doing charity and such. Sometimes it'd be marathons or air shows, other times distributing aid to the poor or rescuing people from natural disasters. Anyone who wants to fight crime has to answer:
What advantage do you have over established police departments, considering fighting crime requires investigating and trials? What if you miscarry justice? What if you attract edgelords that shoot up crowds because they want to be your nemesis?

>I'm severely insomniac actually.

Shit dude. Sorry to hear. I went through a horrid year of it myself. Don't think I got more than eight or nine hours a week for so long.

>And I might just call in sick.

You do you, man.

>What if you miscarry justice?
I'm pretty sure every court on Earth would make up a law that says your involvement counts as a miscarry of Justice in all cases at all.
The Justice system gets SUPER butthurt when you stick your nose in their shit, they don't like some rando coming up and saying they're doing it wrong and if the rando has powers they'll just find ways to ignore you legally instead.

Nobody likes being emasculated, especially people who hold some kind of power already.
Used to take pills but they just made me drowsy and nautious all day.

>What do you do?
Kill everyone on Sup Forums

I'd probably just chill out with my powers man.

Fly to another part of the world if i'm bored. If I need cash i'll go find some underwater treasure and sell it. Go check out the planets in the galaxy. Stuff like that.

I'm not gonna try to play god or leader or anything because i don't know what is gonna form up to try to stop me and i'd rather not get on people's bad side because my powers might not last forever

you're doing it wrong.

I'd trawl the boards, finding people that post shit like the 'rape the joker' and 'what did he mean by this' threads and make them explode from literal asspain.

This site would improve a thousand fold.

Truly bettering mankind.

my last words would be "What did he mean by rape the joker?

oh I forgot. I would also make it so that anyone who presses a downvote button, or facebook like button has their head instantly torn from their necks.

>What did he mean by rape the joker?

Makes me sick seeing it even in jest.