*crunch crunch crunch*

*crunch crunch crunch*
*FFFSSSShhhzzzz.... CRACK*
*slurp slurp*
*shhchshhshzhshshzhz*
*BUUUURRRPPPPP*
*cough*
*BBBRRRAAPPPP*
*slurp slurp slurp*
>ahhhhhhh

How is food still allowed in theaters?

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I've long given up watching movies in theaters
The last straw was when i went to see The Witch last year

ikr

>worst part of movie experience
>theaters opt to expand food options to full meals

Instead of seats, why aren't there soundproofed pods?

looks crunchy AND yummy and the same time desu

I was once in a theater alone with one other patron and he threw popcorn at me because I was nervously tapping my foot.

I stopped tapping my foot and felt really embarrassed.

it's not even the eating that's irritating. it's that none of slobs seemed to figure out how to get it from the bucket to your mouth without dropping it all over the place for people like me to clean up. seriously, you could feed africa with just the popcorn wasted and swept at theatres because you pigs don't know how to eat.

it's because of them you still have a job though so show some gratitude

When I was watching the last tarentino there was some guy laughing loudly when *any* joke was made. After some point I started to anticipate his laughs. At some point all I could think about was his next laugh.

Fuck man I was fucking psyched to see that movie but he fucking ruined it

Clean up my 'corn, Pedro.

found the popcorn pig!

nah my job entails many other duties and responsibilites, you shitheads just make it worse. fuck you

Sissy.

I love getting the smelliest foods from the concession to stink up the whole theater. I like to look around while munching and slurping with my feet up on the seat to see the other people visibly uncomfortable and bothered.

Makes going out to the movies more enjoyable.

Yeah, not my finest moment and my entire life is kinda l'esprit d'escalier.

I make a big mess on purpose to give you guys something to do.

>How is food still allowed in theaters?
because it makes them money

Lol, you expect me to not only pay 10 bucks for fucking popcorn but to also do YOUR god damn job that YOU get paid for?? Not gonna happen.

hahaha... no, fuck you and your bottom of the shit bucket job

Can't do that at my local kino, but I like doing that when I take the train. I grab some Indian food or something similar and stink up the whole train car.

all the piggies are coming out the pen today, huh?

again there wouldn't be a sweeping job to do if you fucking slobs could eat and watch a movie at the same time, but obviously you're all to retarded to do that.

seriously, do you miss your mouths when you're eating at home too? you all must be disgusting

Your bitterness is what drives me to make s big mess. I like to wait after the movie is over and hear the groan of the guy who has to clean my mess. Really tops off my day.

Nah at home I know I'll have to clean up the mess myself so obviously I'm more careful there but who the fuck gives a fuck about what drops on the floor in the fucking cinema?

>but obviously you're all to retarded...
says the guy who cleans theater floors

i've always thought people who eat at movie theaters are cringey trailer trash

>I'm a janitor at the local movie theater for minimum wage
>You guys are retarded
lol, I'm dumping my soda down the back of the seats next time I go out

>expecting sympathy from 'murican psychopaths

In my country throwing popcorn at someone else means they're proposing coitus with one another.

So....99% of people who go to the movies?

youtube.com/watch?v=W9mKvb0W3Bk

did he fuck your boy ass too

>not throwing popcorn back and alerting the theater falcons of the man's assault on you

>oink oink oink

if that's where you find joy in life then i honestly feel bad for you slobs. throw your treats on the floor and rebel against whatever has you upset in the world you sad losers. lord knows you won't take a stand anywhere else in life, so enjoy your little anarchy

PS thanks for the overtime hours :)

>at home my mom will yell at me if i make a messy

ftfy

>not seeing the first matinee showing of the day so that there are only 2 people in the theater

Biggest threat to immersion is if the other guy comes over and offers to give you a bj during the credits

Look dude, if you don't like cleaning up people's mess then why the fuck did you apply for a janitor job??

>PS thanks for the overtime hours
yes I bet those are gonna make you so rich

He enjoys performing penis inspections.

your career is literally being a janitor, i would stop talking shit if I were you

you do not produce anything. i produce graphic design for a living. hell, fast food workers produce food, which is something they create even if it just involved microwaving burgers

you do not create anything. you clean up what others create

you are nothing

>produce graphic design

I'd rate you as about as useless as a janitor desu

He's probably a teen user, chill out lol.

15 bucks an hour with consistent overtime at my age? yeah it's pretty great money. i don't like it but that's why i do it.

i saw this one coming. some fag coming to tell me about how much better his job is.

i don't care. you're not going to make me feel bad. i simply said i don't like slobs and pigs who don't know how to eat, but specified no one. obviously you got offended and felt the need to reply because you fit the profile of a disgusting pig who misses his mouth when he eats lmao.

have fun photoshopping coupons or whatever the fuck you do, pal

>shit tier job talking shit about another shit tier job

What's wrong with all the poorfags lately

You're a reddit spacing loser just the same

Pasta pls

>wearing a condom for anal

Boogie?

Last time I went to the cinema, I had Indian food the day before. I watched the Ghost in the shell movie at like 10 in the morning so the theater was empty except for me. I just squatted between the seats and unleashed 1 pound of smelly, curry-fueled diarrhea all onto the ground before going home. I was laughing for a day straight thinking about some minimum-wage-faggot having to clean this up.

>things that never oinked
what an imaginative story! i always heard pigs were very intelligent animals

haahha clean it up wagie!

oops! dropped another bit, how clumsy of me!

How would you hear the movie?

What, you want shit all over your dick?

>buy a ticket for myself and the two seats either side of me in the middle row
>carry a bag with me and tell them i have my diabetes medicine in it (it's actually food)
>head straight for the food counters and stock up
>go to my seat and reeee away anyone trying to invade my personal space saving seats waving my tickets
>spread out my feast on the chairs with easy access to each hand
>gorge myself for 2 hours letting out risky farts the whole time (i've sharted a little sometimes and it leaks onto the seat but i'm more careful now)
>go home and discuss the movie in reddit

thanks wagecucks

theaters need to make money somehow

>going to american theaters
thats on you bro

What's the worst thing you have seen in the theater?

I fucking can't stand these fatfucks that eat and drink at the movies. usually there is a bajillion restrauants around the theatre so just eat there holy shit you can't wait 2 hours without eating?

also when the movie theatre is really quiet and you can hear is the rustling of popcorn bags the opening of candy boxes and the tweaking of soda straws.

fuck off fat fucks

>at my age
underageb& out

How can anyone reach this point?
What you have to do (or not do) in order to get to this point? I'm a lazy motherfucker and I used to spend the day stuffing my mouth with food and I still didn't manage to break the 105kg mark.

I FUCKING HATE THIS

if i was rich, i'd buy all the tickets and go to movie alone/with friends.

it's genetic

>buy a large coke
>finish it before the trailers finish
>half an hour later have to pee
>forced to leave the auditorium and walk all the way to the washroom, taking me out of my immersed state and forcing me to miss parts of the movie

That's the real problem.

Large cokes usually come in large containers. You figure out the rest.

>How can anyone reach this point?
Your body going full retard and constantly producing fat.

>not slipping your knickers off, pulling up your skirt and relieving yourself silently into the seat
pleb

I emptied the backwash and ice left in my cup onto the guys in front of me once when we were the only guys in the theater because they would not shut the fuck up and kept making stupid jokes. They didn't do anything, just left. I've never done anything like it before or since.

I felt bad afterward, but I was in a sour mood to begin with on account of I was watching Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star

I myself don't usually eat at the theatre, I usually go for just a soda, that being said i'm with you on the risky farts, I found the best thing to do is get there early and right as youre gonna sit down just pull your pants down a tiny bit so it exposes your hole that way when you shart it doesnt dirty your undies

and with the free napkins they give you you can use them to wipe while no one watches and leave the mess for the janitors

>Go to movie by myself cause its comfier
>Tfw I leave dirty napkins all over the two seats on either side of me
>Always leave my cup and popcorn bag on the floor

fuck no it isn't, there's no genetic defect that explains weighting as much as a fucking cow

Went to see Hardcore Henry in theaters and it was like 1/3 full.

Some guy threw up during the skydiving scene and the two people next to him threw up as well.

Someone also chunked during the climax after eating a ton of popcorn and drinking a large soda and it was a catastrophic mess

Shit was pretty hilarious since no one was around me so I didnt have to smell it

>How is food still allowed in theaters?
Because it makes the cinema more money that the movie tickets do.

>not bringing a huge crinkly bag of chips to the theater

>hepta-trips
You sir are absolutely correct and kek agrees

I can't stand people who eat at the movies. Just to spite them, I fill up containers of those free condiments and put them on some of the seats. Stuff that is inconspicuous and blends in with the seats, like pickles or dark packets of open ketchup.

>graphic design

Popcorn at the movies is an American tradition. It is the custom of our people. See movie? Stuff face with popcorn. Feel thirsty? Wash it down with liquid candy.

Growing up we always made it a point to get there early. Get popcorn and drinks. Get good seats. Settle in. After the movie, maybe dad would let me play an arcade game. Once, back in the 90's, there was a virtual reality game you could play, but it was a gyp.

you should have pee in your coke cup

Who gives a shit? Most of the time you dont hear it over the sound of the movie

I had assumed thats why they make them out of plastic now.

I always piss in my cups and I feel bad when I forget it/spill it but whatever

speakers in the pods obviously

Thanks for the blog post

What theatre do you work at? I'm going to go there and shit on all the seats

I think it is partially genetics. Fat people have greater appetites, and feel full less easily. To get this fat, you have to eat an astonishing amount of calories per day. You can't do that with naturally having that ravenous an appetite. What keeps them that way is their own choice, though.

>niggers make loud noises and scream stuff unrelated to the movie
>no one has the courage to ask them to stop

Worst stuff

I usually just notify the designated sniper and let him deal with it.

what if the sniper is busy dealing with the cinema shooters?

>Just got back from watching king arthur
>sat in the back row, a few seats away from a guy rocking back and forth violently, intermittently mumbling stuff under his breath, wearing a cap and backpack, and randomly thumbing through pages in some book.
I literally thought I was going to become part of an anti-immigration statistic.
>mfw autsimus maximus was just sitting there sperging out and I was preparing for the afterlife
Have I gone too far down the rabbit hole, brehs?

>What's the worst thing you have seen in the theater?
Manhunter

>CRACK
Every time.

>watching gotg2
>a quiet, sentimental moment happens
>can see like 3 phones light up
Every
Time

>Literally a greater daemon of Nurgle

You deserved it

>15 an hour
Jesus Christ

>soda cans in theater
immersion ruined

>he thinks reddit is an insult
Jimmy, still trying to impress the "oldfags" I see.

Why I just wanted to enjoy capekino

I don't mind much really. There is a theater I go to where you can order a meal to eat as you watch. It's pretty awesome. Tickets are about 10, meal about 15, and the seats are very comfortable.

I don't follow

>i produce graphic design for a living

I feel your pain. Worked at a theater for five years. Popcorn isn't troublesome though compared to candy boxes, buckets, soda spills, vomit, used condoms, and once I even found a used tampon