It's a Truman didn't attend any classes for the whole semester and failed all his assignments and now faced with the...

>It's a Truman didn't attend any classes for the whole semester and failed all his assignments and now faced with the inevitability of telling his parents that he will be kicked out of university due to his own anxiety and laziness and the possibility of being kicked out of home and becoming homeless and being raped on the street he has decided to take his own life and is currently in the process of composing his suicide note episode

I had a schizophrenic episode when I was a teenager about how I was on the Truman show.

And I still kind of believe it

I remember that, it was a great episode, award winning.

>It's a "truman eats some bad pork and has diarrhea all day" episode

I literally just did this, but now I've somehow convinced all my professors to grant me extensions. Don't know why I did this, since I'm like a 4.0 student in my last semester.

I used to have that until I realised my life was so pathetic no one would even want to watch it and if it were a TV show the producers would have intervened.

>It's a Truman reads a post that retells the events of his own life and weeps quietly at the painful memory episode

I often imagine the live thread on Sup Forums commenting on my life and judging me as they watch what I'm doing

>It's a "Truman reads about slavery and the civil war and looks around for a black person and doesn't see one and asks the teacher where they all went...and an hour later a new student is added to the class who happens to be black" episode.

>It's an user doesn't 'get' Trumanposting episode

>It's a Stan Beeman is Truman's best friend episode

>It's a Truman promises himself to go to bed early this time because his performance at work is getting worse and worse but after fapping instead of going to bed stays up late until 3 AM to watch retarded arguments on Sup Forums and those very same arguments never change either and it looks like time is a flat circle

>its a Truman depression and anxiety is starting to become noticeable to his family and friends as he slowly drops out of society episode.

>It's a Truman lies face down on the floor for an hour before leaving the house an making cheerful conversation with co-workers episode

>It's a Truman starts contemplating suicide again because he can relate to way too many posts in a Truman thread episode.

Hey Truman I got your favorite six pack!

>It's a Truman goes out every day meeting people and friends so he doesn't have to work on a paper and can still convince himself and others that he's busy.

Arent his neighbors the only black people in the whole movie?

It's a Truman secretly rapes and kills children in his basemen but no one can do shit about it because they'd expose themselves in the process.

>it's a truman stays up until 4AM marathoning the great british baking show and eats half a jar of peanut butter for breakfast before calling in sick to work episode

>It's a Truman applies for summer jobs but gets too nervous to answer his phone when they call episode

You copied this off me you motherfucker

Writers are fucking lazy shits I swear. How many times is he gonna shitpost on the internet till 4 in the morning, contemplating suicide?

>it's a Truman is starting to regret the trail of broken hearts his catfishing has left but is too addicted to stop episode

I'm not sure I enjoy this story arc anymore.

>it's a truman tries to pop a zit on his back all day episode

>it's a Truman spends all day on Best Gore masturbating episode

Episode

*blocks your path*

>it's a truman puts out feelers on grindr 'just to test the water' at first but quickly gets addicted to gay sexting episode

>It's a Truman loses his only job offer in months because he doesn't pick up his phone and the company finds out about his novelty voicemail episode

>that one episode where Truman is enough of a regular at a fast food joint where he can casually speak the the regular cashier girl but sputters and mumbles and mixes up words trying to do so

>It's a Truman does that except for his major's class and lab and doesn't talk to his advisor and dropped from a 2.8 to a 2.2 GPA and doesn't know what hell do in 3 months when classes start over and most of the classes that he'd have to take that semester have the class he badly failed as a prerequisite episode

This. I realized if my life was a tv show it would've been cancelled when I was 16 because all I did was masturbate, play games, and go to school.

7 seasons later and it still is

sorry but i laughed really hard

>its a Truman fucks his friend when she comes over to stay for a few nights, then when she leaves falls madly in love with her episode

>It's a Truman spends an inordinate amount of time alone with nothing but his thoughts and eventually he starts chastising himself "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING LOSER" like a vocal convulsion that he cannot control as it becomes more and more regular creeping into whats left of his public life and he fantasises about cutting parts of his face so that he can both atone for his pathetic choices and predicament whilst also justifying and furthering his isolation from society but every time he brings the razor to his face he shies away like a coward and cements his self loathing

STUPID IMPERSONATOR GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>it's a truman devours half of an extra large papa johns meat lovers pizza, stares at the remaining half with self-contempt, cracks a ginger ale and goes in for the second half

>it's a Truman gets irrationally mad at an anonymous Sup Forums poster because he hates non-virgins on Sup Forums who pretend like they belong episode

>it's a Truman can't format his smartphone' SD card that fucks up his phone because everytime he tries to the sd card refuses, then tries to low level format it and after 30 minutes the card magically puts itself together alone like a fucking curse so he tries to go to Sup Forums where they all laugh at him but he still hasn't found a solution after googling for 4 hours straight and his free day is coming to an end and he didn't manage to do what he had to do in that free time and only heavy workdays await him for another 6 days episode

>It's a Truman can't be bothered to wipe up his semen after masturbating and gets a fungal infection on his groin episode

>Its a truman looks through his yearbook an furiously masturbates to a picture of his art teacher leaning forward and revealing cleavage and accidentally ejacualting on the page and trying to clean it up in a delicate and discrete way without his wife realizing what he's doing episode.

I don't come here for this.

>it's a newfag arrives on Sup Forums and mistakes jokes for reality, believing everyone to genuinely be racist virgins episode

>It's a Truman spends an hour pulling faces making noises and singing like a retard in the mirror but then realises the window was wide open and the neighbours were in their yard the whole time episode

>It's a Truman buys into the satire meme and thinks he's found the best roleplayers on the internet episode

Kevin, you have to wake up. It's been 10 years.

>It's a truman bends over naked and looks at his asshole in the mirror too see how it looks when he farts episode

>It's a Truman is dead set on kiling himself but doesn't want to leave behind a legacy of a quitter so he tells his family and friends he's going to canada and not to worry about him while he takes the bus with his last change to a neighboring yuro country and hangs himself in a quiet forest episode

>The Great British Baking Show

That's what burgers call it

>it's a Truman tells everyone he's too busy to do things but really he's just spending his life doing nothing for no reason and will probably hit the age of 40 and realized he missed it, he missed everything, it's all fucking gone and there's no second chance

>It's a truman is broke and suicidal so he goes out at night with a hammer in his pocket ready to jump at an opportunity to get better

>it's a Truman renews his runescape membership for the 7th time in 11 years, ensuring another two years of virginity and overall mediocrity episode

>it's a truman takes an adderall and just drives around aimlessly for four hours listening to the radio and chain smoking episode

i watch that episode on repeat

>it's a Truman finds out sniffing his own earwax isn't socially acceptable

This was a sad episode

>its a truman finds a truman thread and has a panic attack over how much the posts relate to him and his life episode

hits too close to home

>it's a Truman gets rejected by the most attractive woman in the Trumanverse who teases him and mocks him for ever thinking he was on her level and he goes home and just let's it blow off is back for a while but months later he still thinks of her out there in the city living her life still believing she got the last laugh at his expense because he had the audacity to try to speak to her and he finally just finds her on facebook and sees she works at a hardware store and e parks his car outside until closing hours, nervously sitting there in disbelief that he's really doing this and watches her finally leave and get in her car, and he drives away feeling like a lunatic and doesn't do anything for a few weeks, then one night the indignant rage swells up again and he sits out and watches her and this time he follows her car to her house and just keeps driving feeling like he really has a problem and needs to stop, and he goes home and decides enough is enough and he's not doing that shit again just let it go, but finally he thinks one more time about how arrogant she acted, as if she were some God above a peasant like him, and he goes to her house with a hacksaw at night and breaks in, then yanks her out of her bed by her hair and starts sawing apart her face while screaming about how pretty she'll look now, gouging out one eye but leaving the other so she can still see her monstrous deformed face int he mirror when he's done and saws off one of her breasts as well after hacking her face apart and then leaves and breaks the saw into a million pieces and drops it in the ocean then goes home and feels oddly relieved, like he can live his life again episode
>the next episode the girl has moved out of the house and disappeared because the terrorized actress playing the girl quit the show but gets nothing because in her contract she waived any right to sue over physical harm done by Truman because no one suspected he'd ever hurt a fly

>it's a Truman's friends stop inviting him to things and he doesn't have anything going on so he can't invite them to anything either, so they drift apart until it's like they never knew each other episode

>it's a Truman realizes he's always the one contacting his friends to hang out, never the other way around episode

Stop making these threads Truman

Kino

wtf i'm truman now

...

>It's a Truman dates one of his closest friends for about 6 months before realizing that his feelings aren't returned and she'll never think of him as anything except a friend so he breaks up and he's unsure if he should try to salvage the friendship or just cut contact with her episode.