A Marine was taking college classes between his deployments to Afghanistan...

A Marine was taking college classes between his deployments to Afghanistan. One of his courses had a professor that was an atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked everyone by walking into class, looking up and stating "God, if you are real, I want you to come down and knock me off this platform, I will give you 15 minutes. Several minutes tick by in silence, when the 15 min. time almost expired the Marine gets up from his seat, approaches the professor and punched him in the face knocking him off the platform and out cold. The Marine simply went back to his seat. The professor came to, visibly shaken and asked the Marine, "What the heck did you do that for?!" The Marine said, "God was busy protecting America's military who are out protecting your right to say stupid shit like that, so he sent me to fill in."

Comment ITT if you agree ignore if you hate America

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>muhreen

>alpha marine knocks the shot out of some liberal professor

I don't see anything wrong

TL;DR

Pretty good read, almost though I was on facebook for a second.

God bless America

Another commie get out in his place

oh shit, praise kek and all that

amen

>welfare queen assaults professor
If this story actually happened it'd be a good one

>"God was busy protecting America's military

Not that busy though right?

Is Facebookposting the new shitposting?

A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist
“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.
“How old is this rock?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”
“Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Semper Fi

The actress Natasha Richardson died after falling skiing in Canada. It took eight hours to drive her to a hospital. If Canada had our healthcare she might be alive today. We now have helicopters that would have gotten her to the hospital in 30 minutes. Obama wants to have our healthcare like Canada's and England's.

In England anyone over 59 cannot receive heart repairs or stents or bypass because it is not covered as being too expensive and not needed.

I got this today and am sending it on. If Obama's plans in other areas don't scare you, this should.

Please do not let Obama sign senior death warrants.

Everybody that is on this mailing list is either a senior citizen, is getting close or knows somebody that is.

Most of you know by now that the Senate version (at least) of the "stimulus" Bill includes provisions for extensive rationing of health care for senior citizens.

The author of this part of the bill, former senator and tax evader, Tom Daschle was credited today by Bloomberg with the following statement.

Bloomberg: Daschle says "health-care reform will not be pain free. Seniors should be more accepting of the conditions that come with age instead of treating them."

If this does not sufficiently raise your ire, just remember that Senators and Congressmen have their own healthcare plan that is first dollar or very low co-pay which they are guaranteed the remainder of their lives and are not subject to this new law if it passes.

Please use the power of the Internet to get this message out. Talk it up at the grassroots level.... We have an election coming up in one year and nine months. We have the ability to Address and reverse the dangerous direction the Obama administration and it allies have begun and in the interim, we can make their lives miserable.

Lets do it! If you disagree, don't do anything.

corny american zionist "patriotism"

no wonder this empire is a miserable failure.

Hooo-raaaa

HEIL KEKLER

Muh Jesus protecting our freedums by invading another country and serving under a Dindu commander in chief.

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.” It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and lifted up his arm to strike him.

At that moment the professor was transformed into a 7-foot grizzly, wreathed in a halo of holy fire. The bear spoke: "Blasphemer thou art, thou thinkst to take the place of God? Those who deny me face eternal fire, but you who knows my work and yet commits the sin of Satan I curse a hundred times over!" The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently picking at his boils. Then Richard Dawkins burst into the room, wielding a copy of The Selfish Gene and crying "Leave that boy alone, you pathetic atavism!" As the holy bear whirled around, terrible light flashing in its eyes, Dawkins shed his mortal form, raised each of his seven horned heads, and hissed. "It'ssss me you want!". And then the Lord and the Antichrist joined in the final battle.

The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

>protecting America's military
He's doesn't do too good of a job for an omnipotent being :^)

...

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, a known atheist ”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.
”How old is this rock, pinhead?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”
”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real, then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Fake edgemaster copypasta is fake. Back to Facebook with you.

Ahh, you know, America is pretty chill in a way or another

Pure cancer. On the plus side the marine will blow out his brains along with his wife in about 5 years.

ALWAYS DUMP REDPILLS AND SAGE CLICKBAIT THREADS LIKE THESE

This never happened.

>professors at public universities
>not welfare queens themselves

...

I like it, nice.

is this a true story? we need more people like this in the world

Tree of liberty gotta be watered with the blood of secular Arab dictatorships. President Barack Obama is president gotta respect the office. Thank you for your service amigos God bless. Freedom is best, and hard choices.

God, bless America. Russia shall perish

This was somewhat okay

Praise kek

damn these are quality gets

god bless

i love me some burgers!

If someone has to explain this to you, You are not a veteran. ... He [Obama] doesn't seem to have much respect for the military. Maybe in the future our leaders should be veterans.

THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO SEE THIS!! THE MOST STUPID STATEMENT EVER BY A PRESIDENT.

Bad press, including major mockery of the play by comedian Jon Stewart, led to President Obama abandoning his proposal to require veterans carry private health insurance to cover the estimated $540 billion annual cost to the federal government of treatment for injuries to military personnel received during their tours on active duty. The President admitted that he was puzzled by the magnitude of the opposition to his proposal.

"Look, it's an all volunteer force," Obama complained. "Nobody made these guys go to war. They had to have known and accepted the risks. Now they whine about bearing the costs of their choice? It doesn't compute.."

"I thought these were people who were proud to sacrifice for their country," Obama continued. "I wasn't asking for blood, just money. With the country facing the worst financial crisis in its history, I'd have thought that the patriotic thing to do would be to try to help reduce the nation's deficit.. I guess I underestimated the selfishness of some of my fellow Americans."

If he thinks he will ever get another vote from an Active Duty, Reserve, National Guard service member or veteran of a military service he ought to think it over ... If you or a family member is or has served their country please pass this to them.

More people like the professor?

I've heard this stupid pasta before and it's retarded

"Read below............... Nancy Pelosi wants a Windfall Tax on Retirement Income. In other words tax what you have made by investing toward your retirement. This woman is a nut case!

You aren't going to believe this. Madam speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to put a Windfall Tax on all stock market profits (including Retirement fund, 401K and Mutual Funds! Alas, it is true - all to help the 12 Million Illegal Immigrants and other unemployed Minorities! This woman is frightening. She quotes...' We need to work toward the goal of equalizing income, (didn't Marx say something like this?), in our country and at the same time limiting the amount the rich can invest.' (I am not rich, are you?) When asked how these new tax dollars would be spent, she replied: "We need to raise the standard of living of our poor, unemployed and minorities. For example, we have an estimated 12 million illegal immigrants in our country who need our help along with millions of unemployed minorities. Stock market windfall profits taxes could go a long way to guarantee these people the standard of living they would like to have as 'Americans'.'
(Read that quote again and again and let it sink in.)
'Lower your retirement, give it to others who have not worked as you have for it'.
Send it on to your friends. I just did!! This lady is out of her mind and she is the speaker of the house!

>protecting your right to say stupid shit like that,
Not once since 1776.

>it doesn't compute

super kek

>ignore if you hate america
What is this? Kikebook?
>God was busy protesting America's military
God didn't do fucking shit, it was our soldiers looking out for each other getting shit done. Might as Well say the Flying fucking spaghetti monster was helping out soldiers. Fuck off, our soldiers were looking out for our soldiers.

I saw this happen- it's literally and metaphorical truth, both fact and allegory, as you see fit.

A 16 year old boy asks his father, "Dad; what are you going to get mefor my 18th B'Day?" the father answers; "son thats still a long way'.... now the boy is 17 years old & one day he faints. His father takes him to the hospital and the doctor says "sir your child has a bad heart" . being the guy on the stretcher the boy says; "did he tell you im going to die?" father starts crying. the boy finally recovers on his 18th b'day, so he comes home & on his bed was letter his father had left him. the letter said; "son if your reading this its because everything went well. remember that day you asked me; what was i giving you for your 18 years & didn't know what to answer you. 'I Gave You My Heart'." "Happy B'Day Son ."
If You Luv Your Dad Then Hit Like................

>a professor that was an atheist and a member of the ACLU

I see the kind

youtube.com/watch?v=avep_1vbUOA

> approaches the professor and punched him in the face knocking him off the platform and out cold

Fake but noice

stale pasta

lold

FUCK YEAH

I know this is bait but there are people that think this is actually how evolution works. Evolution is the gradual change in a species over time, a rock isn't alive, it will not evolve. Also, 5,000 years? Tell that to any geologist and they will laugh in your face.

Oh god that guy is such a whiny little bitch. He's like a caricature of the modern liberal

>Hanging the flag vertical with the canton on the right

Absolutely unpatriotic

An obesefat, 500 pound squatting, fat-acceptance supporting professor who ate several bowls of oats a day was teaching a class on low-bar squatting.

“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees, drink a gallon of milk, and worship Mark Rippetoe and accept that he is the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Scooby!”

At this moment, a brave, aesthetic, 8 inch cock wielding amateur bodybuilder who does a 3-day split and understands that girls only look for big arms and a six pack stood up and took off his shirt.

“How do you think I got this lean?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite costanza-ly and smugly replied “Because you have good genes and you roid, you ottermode faggot”

“Wrong. I’ve been eating 500 calories under my maintenace for 2 months. But if weight is as you say, because of your genes…why do you eat so much and do no cardio?”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and a copy of Starting strength. He stormed out of the class crying those sweaty adipose crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all did curls that day and accepted zyzz as their lord and savior. Girls walked into the room and all took off their bras and poledanced on a barbell. Skateboard squats were performed several times, and Frank yang himself showed up and snorted creatine.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of a cardiac arrest from being obese and was tossed into the lake of fire to run on a treadmill for all eternity.

Was that marine named Albert Einstein?

You've earned a metal, Marine.

Nice.jpg

>Being this mad about kikebook copypasta

dog bless ameriga :DDDD

>welfare queen
You do realize soldiers have jobs right? They aren't jerking off all day getting paid

Never seen this one. Solid gold.

Kekd

...and the name of that marine was Albert Einstein.

I'll admit, you got me

...

Yes, good goy. Hashem was busy protecting the goyim risking their lives to protect Israel from the Islamic caliphate.
Its what goys were made for after all. Hurry up and come fight and die for Israel, while your whore wife back home gets pregnant by multiple black men. Remember, Hashem is protecting you.

kek

Your country is at war just for money, president actually agrees with this - and he's the retard here? And he's completly correct nobody makes you to go fight a war you do it on your own free choice.

America has wisdom of falcon.

Fuck you. I just came during a meeting.

An Autist was busy shitposting on Sup Forums between Chicken Tendies, one of his dads was an athlete with a stable job. One day, the dad shocked the Autist by walking into his room, looking up and stating "Get a job or you're out of this house, I'll give you 1 week." Several days went past with no employment oppurtunities, when the 7th day came, time almost expired the Autist gets up off the basement floor, approaches his dad and punched him in the face, knocking him into a pile of cigarette butts and piss bottles and out cold. The Autist simply went back into his makeshift cuckshed. His dad came to, visibly shaken and asked the Autist, "What the heck did you do that for?!" The Autist said, "Check em"

>5252

I'll allow it

This goy gets it.

...

I can't talk to my friend anymore since she married a marine despite not doing anything wrong. All i know is he'll threaten to kill me.

They were prob fags..

Witnessed

That sucks, most marines are either total bros or are jarhead psychos, its pretty much a coin flip when you meet one.

>willingly being friends with women

>pregnant by multiple black men
Makes sense since she's in Columbus Georgia teaching journalism. I'm disturbed the fact her sister (23) is marrying a man who already has two kids (20s) in his 40s.

...

wow i considered things

>commit assault
>dindu nuffin
No better than a nigger

And i knew her long before he showed up in high school. She went wity multiple boys and yet she goes for him. I can't even follow her on instagram nor does she talk on twitter. It's like she resents me.

ATHEISTS BTFO ETERNALLY (IN THE HELLISH PIT OF FIRE)

Congrats on another successful forum slide

This is a much better version of the original pasta

It's not bait, you fucking moron. It's quite obviously satirizing right wingers

Were muslims aware of america before world war I?

>full house get

God bless America.

Muh freedoms... Muh gawd... Muh freeze peaches...

Nice 8-bit camo.

Based if true

Yes. Look up the Barbary Wars

tl:dr
>the US loses the protection of the French navy after telling France they won't repay their war debt because they owed the French Crown and not the new republic.
>Unescorted US merchant ships fall victim to Barbary pirates in the Mediterranean.
>The US is forced to sign the Treaty of Tripoli and promises to pay the Barbary states yearly tribute to avoid anymore ships and crew from being seized by their pirates
>Jefferson has enough of this shit, becomes president, and builds up the national navy
>The US Navy sails to the Mediterranean and shells the fuck out of North Africa
>The Barbary states surrender, Jefferson tells them to go fuck themselves for their demands for tribute, and that if they take anymore US merchant ships or enslave anymore citizens, The US will be back to level their nations.
>We no longer had to pay money to North Africa

Our very first war as a new nation.

>taking classes between deployments
w...what?

kek has spoken

BEAT UP LIBERAL PROFESSORS. USA USA USA

Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, long, ways down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you.

To my "selected" strange-minded friends: THAT IS YOU, MY FRIEND!!

If you can read the following paragraph in RED and GREEN below, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line. Only very good minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!

7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15. PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15.


If you can read this, you have a strange mind, too. Only 55 people out of 100 can.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearchat Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed itwhotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and Iawlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it

FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT

The mind is mysterious.

ect, ect, ect

Newfags 57, good posts 0

A bunch of irrelevant shitholes is supposed to mean what to me?

You also might be familiar with the Treaty of Tripoli, because it's the document that leftists, who have no clue about the historical context of the document, parade around when trying to prove their point that the US has never had any Christian influence in its founding. Part of the document made the signers, (the US) "acknowledge" that the US is not a Christian nation and has nothing to do with it.