Yes sir, our singles-only cinema is right in here

>yes sir, our singles-only cinema is right in here

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Where are the reclining seats I was guaranteed?

...

>Right this way, sir.

Beats the singles cage and the singleton pit from the other cinema.
What are we watching?

>when DTS doesn't know how to clear a jam

>the singles area is right over here sir, just at the end of the hallway

>go to rundown singles cinema to watch boss baby
>halfway thru gas starts filling the room
>die

that better be squid ink

i had that same fucking thought when i saw OP's picture lmfao

Have you ever explored an abandoned cinema, Sup Forums?

>And this is the singles exclusive seat
>I recommend going to the bathroom first sir, as you can leave it until the movie ends

>get seated next to the homeless man who reeks of awful cocktail of booze, piss and shit.
>keeps trying to talk to me even though I can't understand his drunken slurred gibberish
>thought I was finally going to enjoy the rest of the film in peace when the theater shooter shot him but he fucking was still alive and spent the rest of film moaning in pain loudly
Ruined Paul Blart 2 for me

Went to go watch Mad Max two weeks later and his rotting corpse stunk up the whole place

Worse is that cinemas have started leaving all the suicide corpses in the SO cinema

Where the fuck are these even? Pripyat?

I sat in one of these before. The stench was foul, there were cum stains on the seats, the ceiling appeared to droop, and there was a falcon crucified to the projector space. These were awful, but bearable. It was 20 minutes in before I was forced to abandon hope and flee in sheer terror.

An amalgamation of ancient cum stains had bonded with uneaten crab legs to create a new lifeform. The sight was grotesque. Syrup-like pinkish white liquid being dragged along the floor by its protruding demonic crab legs as if possessed by a truly malevolent force. It was like Pennywise's spider form fused with the Stay Puft creature from Ghostbusters. The sight was ghastly, but at least it lacked senses -- or so I thought. My leg jerked involuntarily, skidding across the sticky floor and rupturing an old popcorn bucket made of ceramic clay. The mass of human seed and crustacean limbs turned toward me. The abomination began to rise. From its original mass of 2 feet, the beast elongated and stretched itself to display a fearsome 7 foot tall form. A strange lump began to form at what I assumed to be the head. The lump split down the middle, the white goop retracting to unveil a baseball-sized orb of pure blackness. It was difficult to tell in the dark, but my primal instinct knew immediately that the orb was an eye. The monster gazed at me, no doubt assessing whether or not I was a threat, or perhaps simply wondering what I taste like. I was not intent on sharing such information. I immediately bolted to the emergency exit, leaping over the decrepit chairs with ease as adrenaline coursed through my veins. The abomination responded by darting after me, its mushy form easily molding around the seats as if it were childs play.

I kept running and didn't look back. I made it through the exit, and as the door closed I could hear the beast moan in agonizing anger.

not enough cum stains

>this thread

>tfw you just missed the allocated shooter but are just in time for the trailers

Who clogged the cinema showers again jesus..

>get some needle nose pliars
>break the chains on all the poop scissors in the cinema bathroom and steal them
>come back a couple hours later after the film
>see shit leaking into the hallway because the toilets can't handle people's monster turds

>tfw your cinema forces you to rejoin the primordial sludge because you are unsuccessful as a human as evidenced by your inability to find a mate and are more useful to the progression of the species as biofuel for the hivemind

at least i got half price at the concession stand

This looks like the Zones infested by hell slime in Roadside Picnic

please take a seat with you as you walk in

You guys know not well. Sorry bad English language. Forgive

Where from singles at movies treated like feecies we made to wear rist bands to number us and track.

Then they watch us with guns and tell us to silence. They bring on cheap whores and vodka for us

But no cute only ugly bores like womens who smell. Don't shave. You must prove you straight becaustor the homos get shot in movies

Last lady smell like moldy fish but i must kiss. The smell greatly bad and desire to puke great

Thankfully they also give free vodka and crackers

You Americans have it so easy

>"ughh you don't have a companion with you? Don't worry sir, here's the singles only cinema enjoy your flick."

Am I the only one who only goes to the theaters once a year?

>Go to couples seating (normal seating)

>Shrimp and lopster given for free. Cooked,peeled and shelled

>Free drinks of any kind

>Get our money back plus some and the worker tells me "only the singles pay"

>Before movie and after the screen shows the singles theatre. Crying sob stories eating crablegs and cheap drinks

>The girls are gagging at the sights of singles

>Us guys laughing from the singles

>more useful to the progression of the species as biofuel for the hivemind
Sad but very true

Your mother sucking cock is true too.

>go to movie with girlfriend
>not a lot of people in the theater so people dont have to sit next to eachother
>some idiot that is there by himself sits down directly next to us when there are tons of other better spaces without having to sit next to someone
fuck off you losers.

>>some idiot that is there by himself sits down directly next to us when there are tons of other better spaces without having to sit next to someone
>mfw I am that guy

CLEAN IT WAGIE

this one is the century in aurora

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Where are the plastic jizzguards? I paid extra!

holy shit, is that the old towne cinema in abbotsford???

>theater is putting "DreamLoungers" in
>there loveseats

AZ Mills Mall after black people leave.

PICK
IT
UP

I do that to make sure that the guy doesn't get a cheeky blowjob. If I'm not getting any there's no reason anyone else should.

...

Kek, I really felt like I could see it

>go to cinema alone, I'm pretty short and skinny so I usually tag along with a group without being noticed
>sneak into a group waiting in line for Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
>all members of this group are 6'4 black males, the female ticket ripper (white) is creaming her panties as she's watching them and fantasising about getting railed by these fine nubian specimens, there's no chance in hell she'll notice me
>suddenly the black males see me
>apparently they're the cinema bulls taking a break
>"ay yo white boi, whatchu doin' here?"
>I start stuttering and become beet red
>"you tryna sneak in? Jayquan, this cracka tryna sneak in!"
>the cinema guards come to arrest me and take me to the interrogation room
>after seven hours of being waterboarded I confess that I'm single
>"Well, why didn't you say so sooner, sir? I'll show you our singles only cinema!"
>I'm again put in cuffs and dragged to the cinema's train station
>there's about eighty other singles lying bound and blindfolded on the concrete platform
>they blindfold me and throw me in the pile
>another guy tells me he's been waiting for the train for almost three days now
>I'm lucky, however, the train arrives after about a half hour
>my luck runs out soon, though, there is no room left in the main car so I'll have to ride in the garbage car
>there's empty crab legs poking in my back for the entire ride
>after what feels like hours, we arrive, are unloaded and our blindfolds are removed
>I see pic related, an old screen in the middle of a forest
>the guards spread us out over the field but don't untie us, which is highly unusual
>the train leaves with all the guards
>I hear growling and footsteps
>wolves surround us
>they drag several singles into the woods and kill them
>terrified screams echo in the night while Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 plays on the screen

I managed to crawl away and had my chains cut by a humble blacksmith.
I rate my visit a 8.7/10 because the sound quality was a little lackluster.

tl;dr
ps. nobody cares enough

I wish I could write like this.

Is this worth reading

Pleb

no

>cuck shit
Clapistan was a mistake.

Dude assuming this isn't pasta you should try writing some short stories, that was impressively vivid

Here's another you. It's well deserved in this case, even if it is a pasta.

i love these threads but ive literally had a dystopian cinema experience once, but not as bad as the fictional american ones

i was in manilla and saw guardians of the galaxy while on vacation and before the movie began there was a voice on the speaker and text on the screen that said please rise for the national anthem and they played their national anthem, and a worker came over and shouted at us when we didnt stand up

it was odd but it didnt last that long thankfully

I liked your story, user :3

Finally, the shooter. I was getting bored.

Singles only kino arena would actually be a pretty comfy place to meet people tbqh fampai

What's the best way to smuggle in food and drinks past the pat down? Other than up my ass of course.

up your boyfriend's ass

And people still believe this myth.

damn, i feel right at home

this is 9th grade creative writing shit
Sup Forums is easy to impress
literally buy a thesaurus and replace all the adjectives/verbs and any story will read the same

then its a good thing I brought these

>it fucking worked

Then it should be easy for you to make something better.

>speaking from experience
Dumb 9th graderposter

Red Rum

I liked it

>the poop scissors

there is one like this in my old local mall. 20/20 shops have been abandoned, and two out of the four anchors have left. I actually can't find any pictures of the theaters themselves because the Hoyts has been sealed off for so long

Oh shit nigger. We had a Hoyts in my town before it became a regal.

Lost my shit.

This is good writing.

youtube.com/watch?v=JBx-vydxfKU

>going to the cinema all alone as always
>the usual routine, bought two tickets and the multiculturally approved combo of hummus and goatmilk, family size
>also brought a womens jacket which I hold on my right arm when I enter
>"Excuse me sir but where is your companion?"
>"Oh she's at the bathroom no worries" *point at the jacket*
>"Enjoy your kíno sir"
>a bit sweaty from that interaction but it all seems good, have plenty of time to cool down during ads
>lights go off, movie finally starts
>let out the last few farts from the warm goatmilk so I can finally enjoy my highly anticipated flick
>suddenly the opening credits are stopped, cinema staff bullies come in with flashlights
>Saw a guy drinking the offensive Coca Cola drink so they gotta be after him
>but the main cinema bully flashes right at me and yells "RIGHT THERE! GET THE LOSER"
>they are clearly onto me, should've brought a more convincing and expensive women's jacket
>the whole row is throwing me out, spitting and throwing stones at me
>cinema staff bullies drag me out of there with the whole crowd cheering and clapping
>"This is the third time you broke the 'no singles policy', you're going to jail you fucking weirdo"
>they throw me in the cinema jail, small dirty cell with no windows or toilet (pic related), just a designated shitting corner
>they don't tell me the time or date so I don't know if I was there for weeks or months
>survive on eating only leftover spilled cinema hummus and sheep blood which the cinema staff scrapes of the floor of every screening
>get to know all the other losers in nearby cells, we form a secret women hating club in there
>one other loser overhears our conversation and starts yelling at us
>brawl ensues, cinema jail clans are fighting to death
>I pretend dead so the staff throws me out in the dumpster with the rest of the bodies
>wait for the night to fall and run back home to my room
>have to start collecting good boy points all over again

not worth it

when i was in college, most of my friends had left for the week for fall break, and i was bored on a rainy day so i went to our local $1 theatre to watch spider man 2

i had to piss first, so i stopped in the bathroom. no shit, it looked like the bathroom from true lies after ahnuld kills those two muslims. the soap dispenser had been ripped from the wall and was in the sink, which was covered in blood. there were holes in the drywall.

in the theatre, i was the only one there. that was great - until a started hearing a steady tick-tick-tick noise. wtf? it gets louder. and closer. i start to feel something hitting my face. i look up and there is a hole in the ceiling and water (it was raining) was steadily drip-dripping 3 seats down from me.

i watch the drip turn into a stream which then turns into what i can only describe as a faucet being turned on from the ceiling. i got my shit and left.

the theatre closed a short time later.

Nigga, wer u at?

...

These greentext stories are starting to get long. Keep it to 5 lines max or you lose my interest.

Sorry, I wasn't trying to be creative, just descriptive, but I admit that I could have truncated the post and improved particular points. I had woken up in the middle of the night and stumbled on this thread, so in my half-delirious state I chose to spend an hour typing that out on my phone until I felt tired enough to go back to sleep.

hi ligotti

i havent been in years. i only just got over the trauma of being sent to work in the popcorn mines after my last experience seeing Captain America: Winter Soldier.

top kek

>fictional

>We apologize for the interruption. We will resume the film momentarily. Please remain calm. We have reason to believe that one of you has tricked our virginity test. Customer 09-23B please leave the room and go to The Penance Room immediately. Customer 09-23B to The Penance Room now, please. We will resume the film once the culprit has left the room

Looks like the radioactive water from half life 2

>not bringing your own foldout chair
Plebs. All of you.