CONFIRMED

CONFIRMED

youtube.com/watch?v=D8E_jtl-v1s

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>Angstventure Time

KISS DAMN IT

At this point i am more angry at Finn
We already figured out PB was a cunt years ago

Holy shit they're still making new adventure time?

>>But not everyone was happy with the Legend of Korra's finale. There were a few at Cartoon Network who felt the event was less than magical.

>According to the intern, who wishes to remain Anonymous, Adventure Time Storyboarder Jesse Moynihan bashed his head against the wall while screaming "NO! NOOO! NO THEY FUCKING BEAT US NOOOOOOO! THOSE HACKS DID DYKE PANDERING BEFORE US NOOOOOOOOO! FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

>Sources also confirm that "Steven Universe" creator Rebecca Sugar locked herself in the bathroom and tried committing suicide, because "Now no one is going to think my fat ugly rock aliens are actually gay."

Man, Bubbline just fucking ruined Adventure Time fanfiction. You can almost never find a good one nowadays that isn't about a wad of gum and a vampire trying to fuck

What does this confirm, again?

So if the two dykes get together, who the hell is Finn gonna end up with?

C'mon now, we know they're not gonna leave him single forever, no matter what they say.

>it's the tune of the ending theme
That's really cute.

> they're not gonna leave him single forever
I hope they do, Regular Show's biggest problem was dedicating time to shipping instead of the reason people liked the episodes.

Finn will end up with the best option.

Um, that doesn't prove anything tho? They are just very close friends so stop trying to bring shipping into everything.

It's not shipping if it's canon... which this PB/Marceline shit clearly isn't.

youtube.com/watch?v=-_pix9YV17U

>sometimes I forget how totally deep I can be

Kek

They still got it

Girl, I love you so much, I wrote you this lovesong.
It never mentions you in specifics and mostly talks about my personal spooky vamp shit you have absolutely no connection to.
Now please, wait to thank me for this loving gesture until I'm done with my amazing song ;^)

nobody. he's obviously not as important as Bubblegum or Marceline. They're only writing episodes for him to meet the quota.

>DUDE LESBIANS LMAO

WOW GREAT ADVENTURE, NOT ONE DRAGON KILLED SINCE 2012

>"This song is about someone special"
Just be real, dude. Who the hell else would it be? Come on.

Omg always the same stuff with anti_bubline, bubbline IS canon, the only reason it will be Never aired is censorship in fuckin shithole country which can't handle gay relationship

Didn't a guy get fired for saying there's a possibility for a lesbian relationship?

He's making fun of how love songs are all vague as fuck so people can project themselves into it.

You mean, the countless formulaic episodes that always made up the majority of a season? The ones no one talks about?

No I'm just saying Marceline is a narcissist and made the song about "someone else" mostly about herself.

>who the hell is Finn gonna end up with?

People mostly talk of what they dont like here, not the opposite.

Huntress Wizard.

>absence of attention is proof of interest

You are a moron.

It's canon in the comics, not the show. Until it's BLATANT, bubbline posters have to take every episode under a microscope for scraps. I doubt Princess Bubblegum even registers romance considering her serious case of science autism. I personally have no problem with them having been a couple. Doesn't matter, their not the main focus of the series. They're a couple side characters that get a bit of screen time. This isn't Korra and Asami, anything pertaining to them isn't major news because they're not the main characters.

Jesus Christ, stop tap-dancing around it. No one is even shocked anymore.

What the hell? That doesn't make any sense. Are you really bending over backwards this much to find reasons that it's not about Bubblegum? I'm not even a shipper and I can clearly see how obvious all of it is.

>Being this stupid

...

>Finn can't dick either one of them because it's [CURRENT YEAR]
sucks shit for him desu

Finn could dick pretty much anyone in Ooo, why doesn't he?

Because I don't live there... ;_;

>Series is called Adventure Time
>It's about teenage romance and lesbians

He made out with all the named princesses, but most of those are shit 2bh. The only half-decent prospects are PB (lesbian), Marceline (lesbian), Phoebe (blew it, and dicking is impossible anyway for a variety of reasons), and Huntress Wizard (cuckoo forest bitch). I guess he could track down Snu-Snusan's amazon pussy, but that's too much effort for pussy that might possibly be closely related to you.

No, she wrote the song for Bubblecunt, I'm find it humorous that she mostly sings about spooky shit, which is Marceline shit.

So it's appropriate

there's more to adventuring than drama you walnut

Even when PB was 13, supposedly retained her memories of Marceline and was over 800 years old, she went after Finn in vain. She probably won't want anything else to do with him because it would upset the vocal minority of PBxM shippers.

Finn and Marceline had massive chemistry potential when they were palling around with each other in earlier seasons. In "Go With Me" she didn't like him "that way" as a kid, but who knows what she would think of him as a full-fledged adult? They just had her drop off the face of the earth and when she resurfaced she was all for the Big League Chew puss.

Flame Princess was another viable option with potential, but since they can't come into contact without some sort of barrier or shield, eventually they would long for physical, feelable contact with one another. Also no tongue kissing or sex since the shield doesn't protect your insides (aka mouth and the sit in his dick)

Canyon is sloppy seconds even though she is god tier lady. Besides, he wouldn't tough his hero's gf out of respect.

Huntress Wizard was willing to take a chance with him, but she's indoctrinated by that spiritual tree voodoo shit as of now.

Also, speaking of Huntress Wizard, I wonder how old she is. She definitely ain't around Finn's age because she already looked like a young adult as early as Wizard Battle.

Even in Wizard Battle HW was apparently pining after PB. Finn just can't catch a break.

Wow... um, when you're trying to deny the presence of a romantic relationship in a show, don't attach a picture of a person *smelling a shirt with the other person's smell on it which said person gave as a gift*. Way to undermine your own argument, slugger.

Tbh fampire, I don't think most people are denying that the Crystal Gems aren't total gem-polishers.

It's clearly about Simon and how she wishes that everything could be like it was when she was a kid and he hadn't gone full Ice King yet.

There's also more to it than mindless violence.

Boy, this show sure did devolve into taking a fierce hard shit on a literal child trying to find his way in a freaky world.

I see its still shipping time.

>Finn is such a beta faggot that he turned his two female friends gay for each other

This shit seems so forced.

>The power of grass dickings was too much for the women of OOO.

Yay for giving into tumblr shipping!

Should join the Mako club.

How about a male character's merit is NOT determined by the twat he's hooked up with? Can't Finn become a male protagonist that enjoys his freedom without obligations to a bitch? Seriously, anyone else tired of today's male characters constantly being MUST HOOK UP MEGA SUPER ULTRA LOSER WHO NEEDS FEMALE VALIDATION!!!

This is why I hate Mordecai and Gumball. These lame shits are obnoxious with their pussy begging thirsty personalities. Keeping Finn single and making him realize that pussy is not all there is to life? Would be an improvement for this character.

>How about a male character's merit is NOT determined by the twat he's hooked up with?

Welcome to modern culture, where your value as a man is only in how much and what kind of tang you're banging. You don't get to be a person, you get to be a caricature whose only goal and meaning is fucking.

Finn will remain a virgin forever, won't he? LSP rape doesnt count.

Why should males be allowed to be in any sort of romantic relationship with ANYONE these days? Everyone sees that as boring shit, because it is.

More like welcome to all culture. Who you're married to and/or banging has been a major factor in status since ever.

Ironically something like this is the grounding foundation of Sonic. SEGA said that Sonic cannot have a girlfriend because heroes who have to worry about keeping a bitch happy? They're boring and unappealing to boys.

SEGA was right, anyone else remember Metal Gear Solid 2? Fucking hell with Raiden & Rose. The same principle should apply to cartoons.

A lot of it is that they have no idea how to write a believable relationship anyways. And another part of that is all relationships have to be boiled down to something shallow to fit it into limited budget and time with all the other elements.

It would be great if Finn found some simple chick, and their relationship was hardly ever touched upon.

Like, she doesn't go on journeys or adventures. She's just a house-wife sorta girl who cleans the place and makes art while Finn is away. Their relationship on screen is sweet nothings at bedtime, cute breakfast kisses goodbye, and then Finn can go off and focus on Adventure with Jake.

There is something noble about simple girls. She doesn't have to affect the plot in any way.

It would also make shippers mad and insane.

You got one part right. It would make people angry, but NOT shippers. In today's neutered and castrated society such a female is seen as politically incorrect.

A female who supports her man in any way she can? That's sexist. Women are "not tools to help men" according to the narrative. Women are more intelligent, stronger, etc than men and they do it all in HEELS. That is the standard nowadays.

What you propose would not ever get not even to storyboards because of how "offensive" it is.

I watched the early seasons of this show.
Did they stop trying and start going into shipping pandering?

Finn's the most hilariously-pathetic cartoon protagonist running, it's kind of sad in a "wow, I'm glad I'm not that guy" way. Completely screwed out of a girlfriend by a literal retard, on top of turning the other two main women lesbian by just being around them, and being ignored by most other women. It takes a whole new, extradimensional level of being a complete bitch boy to get your girlfriend stolen away by a barely-functional retard, especially when most women would rather bathe in vomit than be touched by a mentally-deficient fucker.

As much as people give Steven from SU (well-deserved) shit for being a whiny, effeminate, useless piece of shit, in this context he's still less pathetic than Finn, which is just plain heartbreaking to think about as a concept. If an obese mongrel autist with as much knowledge of his nature as a straight boy as a gazelle has of advanced calculus is more manly than you, and has the undivided attention of the one girl he's ever felt his dick twitch over, you might as well give up, get a fake vagina cut into the smooth mound where your balls are supposed to be hanging from, and pretend you're a woman for pitybux.

If we ever had a Cuck Awards contest for The Most Pathetic Male Lead Character in Cartoons for CURRENT YEAR", Finn would be the undisputed winner, the miserable cunt.

If the silent majority gets the freak agenda shoved in it's face hard enough they turn into Nazis. Nazis!

That is the main reason that AT and TV in general can't be too taboo for even 2016.

There is another problem with dropping all the standards.

At some point the standards are so low that explicit encouragement of things like disease spreading, murder, arson, theft, torture, etc. becomes "O.K."

Then people wish for the good old days of "Please just be normal again... What? What!? What the fuck do you mean the Rainbow Army got out maneuvered? Nathan Bedford Forrest!? Who the fuck is that? Some Confederate General? Why are they allowed to even teach tactics from him anyway?

All the soldiers in the room, Yankee decedents too, have a good hard laugh at the question.

The remaining white normies unite under a Traditional Ku Klux Klan army and take back America!

Sad, isn't it?

Nobility and purity of purpose are deemed "offensive" now.

We don't need a simple girl. You could easily just have her be some chick in another town Finn hangs out with, and then she says "Well I got shit to adventure with too, see you!" and that's that. Have them team up once in a great while. Emulate Steven and Connie if you need an idea of how it'd work. That's simple, happy, and cute without shitting all over the rest of the show. Let girls feel like they can do something without being nothing but a fuck object.

I hope he ends up with Huntress Wizard. That'd be pleasant. Dryad girlfriends a best.

>At some point the standards are so low that explicit encouragement of things like disease spreading, murder, arson, theft, torture, etc. becomes "O.K."

It has already begun.

broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/the-sex-roulette-parties-where-one-guest-is-secretly-hiv-positive?utm_source=vicefbus

There has to be some balance

I mean I go on Sup Forums and get pissed off at all the females being jobbing pieces of shit, but then I go on Sup Forums and Sup Forums and women are overpowered pieces of shit

Where's the compromise, breh?

>We don't need a simple girl.
>We

Maybe you don't.

But Finn does. Don't put your needs in front Finns.

I don't care if it's Vice, citation fucking needed for any kind of story like this, and by citation fucking needed, I mean I want to see court testimony.

Fucking rainbow party believing old men.

Dude, I'd like Finn to get with someone who isn't some ancient psycho, who he can relate to on his level and have love and respect for. Simple housewife is boring as hell and would do nothing for the guy. Someone who respects HIM for what he does while not being some cardboard cutout or mentally damaged lunatic.

I'm kind of disquieted by how far this show goes to torment a child and make him miserable in all respects. It's goddamn borderline abusive and sends a really fucked up message.

>Emulate Steven and Connie if you need an idea of how it'd work
Fixed

I HAVE THE SOLUTION!

Finn's girlfriend should be a healer. She's still an adventurer, but takes more pride in a support role, which translates to her being a natural nurturer.

Finn keeps trying to do DPS runs with Damage dealing girlfriends. He need class balance

>accidentally wrote his return of kings article into his reply box

...you repeated the same thing I said.

Healers are beta as fuck tbqh

>this is a show about a boy going magical adventures
>lets ad random lesbians because we stopped caring about the base material and more about ratings

You don't know the half of it. /tg/ has been on that shit for years.

Alphas keep shitting on him, maybe he needs the low hanging fruit.

I forgot already: How and when did this "PB and Marcy have been secretly cleaning each other's carpet all along" meme get started?

It's a healer, dude.

They get off on being passive.

i think it started with that one episode about the guy who stole their shit
they sang a song in it, and apparently it just equaled to "they're totally fucking" for some people

Healer that is also a Glass Cannon Secondary.

She stays back. When things look serious she breaks out her rifle.

Breathe In

Breathe Out

Three Round Burst

Just like Papa taught ya.

"How did it go?"

"His head just exploded. Must have hit him harder than I thought."

"Of course."

Princess Bubblegum.
Im serious. No matter how much carpet she munches and no matter how many times she shoots finn down, by the end of the series they are going to get together. Why? Because that's what Pen Ward wanted since the beginning before he stepped down and left the show to be taken care of by the other staff. Its gonna happen, but it won't be genuine. Everyone will know that they did it because they felt like they had to.

I think he's actually going to wind up with Flame Princess again. Flame-Retardant Retards BTFO

>tfw the fucking healer won't heal you unless you scream at her to do it in a dominant and furious manner

god dammit sara my rib cage is ventilated and attracting crows, just mend me already

I think that's his mom, dude.

New person coming into the thread, this shit is just as canon as the deleted tweet Marceline's VA made and the half assed explanation the rest of the staff made.
As in, not very. When they do some explicit and undeniable shit in the show then I'll start caring.

That aside, decent song, killed the fucking rhyming scheme the original had though.

Every member gets a cool scarf!

And a Twink Royal boyfriend.

Princess Bubblegum. Marceline comes in when Finn is off on adventures or for freaky bi-weekly threesomes.

Canyon is a strong contender.

Finn just needs to be cursed with a giant magical cock or something.

Women are *supposed* to be beta, dude

>giant magical cock
>cursed

Canyon is named after her vagina, right?

>Why_doesn't_my_girlfriend_have_a_penis.png

Why not indeed.

Well considering that the average chick in Ooo wouldn't be able to handle it, it would be a curse.

The explanation wasn't half assed as much as it wasn't even an explanation. They went full on damage control and tried avoiding the topic all together. They didn't want to come off as a bunch of hypocrites for blatantly pandering to Bubbline after they fired someone for hinting at it 5 years ago. Obviously, their opinion of the ship has changed since Bubbline episodes this season are of the highest rated.