Christian film reviews

Y'all seen movieguide.org ?

It's Christian fundamentalist owned and they review every film that comes out. Search out your most depraved for some good pastas

Other urls found in this thread:

capalert.com/
capalert.com/capreports/southpark.htm
movieguide.org/news-articles/hijacking-civilization.html
movieguide.org/reviews/orgazmo.html
christandpopculture.com/movieguide-explanation-of-ratings/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

(RoRoRo, AbAbAb, FeFeFe, HoHoHo, PCPCPC, LLL, VVV, SSS, NNN, A, D, MMM) Very strong Romantic, godless, radical feminist, lesbian, politically correct, leftist attack on men and traditional society; 29 obscenities (including some “f,” “d,” “h,” “a,” “b” and a couple “s” words and zero profanities; extreme violence includes torture scene where man is tied down and fingers cut off with more threatened to be cut off, forced sodomy, woman reads sado-masochistic literature out loud as men watch, man and woman whipped on the rear, woman tied up; extreme sexual content includes two extreme lesbian scenes, other lesbian references, man is a pimp/thief with a stable of prostitutes, sado-masochistic content and references, implied and partially depicted oral sex, and man decides to engage in forced sodomy with woman he’s with; brief images of full female nudity plus many images of upper and rear female nudity; alcohol use; smoking; and, planned fraud, betrayal, lying, deceit, kidnapping for revenge, manuscripts destroyed.


What the fuck do those letters at the begining mean? I'm rolling SAN right now.

which movie is this?

check handmaids tale

>3 Generations
>Content: -4 Abhorrent
>(RoRoRo, PCPCPC, HoHoHo, FeFe, LLL, V, SS, NN, A, D, MMM) Very strong Romantic, politically correct worldview about a delusional girl who thinks she’s a boy with very strong homosexual and strong feminist elements, including outspoken discussions regarding gender and genitalia, and grandmother is a lesbian

OP here, coincedentally enuf I think user's movie is a film called "The handmaiden," you should check it out If you haven't seen

This isn't very entertaining. Making fun of Christianity lost it's edge a long time ago.

This is a perfectly reasonable site, considering it's supposed to be used as a guide for what parents let their kids see.
It assumes said parents are normies who don't have time to watch every film in advance.

RoRoRo your boat
Gently down the stream

SSSHIIIIEEEEEET

NNNIIIGGUUUHHH

Ass

Dick

MMMAMMA MIA

>HoHoHo

the original christian movie review site:

capalert.com/

capalert.com/capreports/southpark.htm

>South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (R) -- WARNING! This analysis is blunt. South Park is a vulgar and vile movie. Any commentary will inherently border vulgar as well.

South Park is an incredibly dangerous movie for those who do not understand or are developing an understanding of the Gospel ....... INCREDIBLY dangerous! Some of the scenes in South Park reminded me so much of the image of demons screeching and dancing around a boiling cauldron as Satan gleefully looks on from the background as the demons pitch soul after soul after soul into the burning cauldron.

(RoRoRo, OO, PaPa, AbAb, LLL, VVV, SS, NNN, AAA, D, MM) Very strong Romantic worldview idealizes vampire characters (having the ability to love, display compassion, and do good deeds), with strong occult, pagan elements (including several scenes depicting occult, pagan practices, including orgies), plus a couple blasphemous jokes about Christianity and a crucifix; more than 31 obscenities and profanities (including some “f” words); the level of violence is very high, with several scenes depicting the vampire characters killing innocent human victims by sucking their blood, another scene depicting a vampire attacking a human and accidently transforming him into a vampire, another scene showing werewolves violently attacking a human being and leaving him for dead, vampire vomits up blood, and a physical altercation between vampires occurs during a masquerade party; strong sexual content and references include crude medieval drawings, vampire in bed with several half naked females (implying an orgy has occurred) and one scene with a vampire implies self-abuse in a coffin; extreme nudity in many sexually explicit medieval drawings depicting fully nude characters in sex positions and upper female nudity in one scene; very strong alcohol use and drunkenness, with several scenes showing the vampire characters going to drink at bars and nightclubs and getting extremely intoxicated; a few scenes show background characters smoking cigarettes at bars and nightclubs; and strong miscellaneous immorality, such as a few scenes depicting vampire characters lying to humans in order to trick them into coming into their homes so they can kill them and one scene containing a vampire character admitting he was a Nazi and showing him wearing a Nazi uniform with swastikas and honoring Hitler.

>OO, PaPa

Do the reasonable atheists out there cringe when they see other atheists acting like this? I'm sure they do but sometimes I just need to hear it. It's easy to start thinking that all atheists act like this when this is all I see from atheists.

Oh yeah. It's fucking cringe worthy to see those neckbearded fucks

It's just more proof that reddit frequents this board

It's so fucking depressing. Is that shithole terrible because of the userbase or the format?

what is with the RoRo LLL V CoCo AbAb PC stuff? it look like the kind of thing a soviet spy would copy from a number station

>(RoRoRo, PCPCPC, HoHoHo, CoCo, AbAb, LLL, V, SS, N, AA, D, MM) Very strong Romantic, politically correct, homosexual, pro-union worldview about left-wing, anti-conservative homosexual activists helping the British mineworkers union during the controversial mining strike that took place during Margaret Thatcher’s conservative Tory administration in Great Britain including activists saying “F Thatcher,” plus some overt communist ideology includes a quote form Karl Marx’s infamous “Communist Manifesto” pamphlet on a union banner and an anti-biblical undertone, especially when one pro-union leftist says there are other cultural aphorisms or moral lessons to use other than the apparently “old-fashioned,” typical ones they always hear from the Bible, but movie generally leaves the religious issues regarding homosexuality out of its viewpoint; about 36 obscenities (including many “f” and “h” words and some “s” words), 10 strong profanities using Jesus, 12 light profanities such as OMG, several uses of “bloody,” and one person says, “So help me, God!”; some light violence such as brief fighting; strong sexual content and immorality condemned by both God and Jesus in the Bible includes depicted homosexual behavior such as men kissing men, women kissing women, some lewd talk, men dressed as women, visual allusions to homosexual sado-masochism in homosexual outfits worn, brief dirty dancing, and homosexual behavior is seen as a lark, a positive thing and/or no big deal; upper male nudity; alcohol use and light drunkenness; smoking; and, bullying but rebuked, father disowns son who finally comes out as homosexual and this is seen as extremely bad, insults, radical pro-union activity is validated.

>lewd talk
>homosexual behavior is seen as a lark

>pro-union activity is validated.
Sounds pretty degenerate desu

I'm not an atheist but it's still pretty funny to see people get so riled about movies, what's the big deal?

The fuck?

I'll take a neckbeard atheist over a moralfag, holier-than-thou christcuck.

>same moral rating

would shinto be considered pagan maybe?

>sex: none

>violence: none
>sex: none
mhm

>Sex and violence
>None
What

Shit taste, neckbeard atheists are the most holier then thou

Sorry, m8, but Christians are the ones who believe you can't be moral without religion.

Holy shit, this must be the easiest way to spot newfags.

south park is pretty shit though. they ushered in an era of degenerate garbage. i bet many newfags on tv are ignorant about what television was like before south park. that episode about lowering the bar was very self aware

Except when I hang out with Christians, they don't try to shove their nonsense down my throat. Unlike athiests, which I can barely stand to hang out with in the first place for a laundry list of reasons, none of which have anything to do with religion.
Which one are you? Over-compensating? Body odor? Sexual deviant?

No, I've just had the opposite experience that you've had. Religious friends and family members forcing me to go to church, then getting condescending when I say I don't want to. You christfags are the worst.

The whole "I'm edgy by disliking atheist more than Christians and posting pictures of fedoras" thing has gotten more annoying to me at this point
Probably. Animism in general would likely fall under what they call pagan

(PaPa, BB, C, O, PC, VV, N, M) Strong, contradictory New Age pagan worldview with mixed elements, such as a monistic explanation for the afterlife and the supernatural world, and strong moral elements that include a strong warning about resting too much political power in one man as well as a warning about trying to gain god-like powers and that also include redemptive attempts to save and redeem someone from evil, as well as light occult reference to a human being returning from the “netherworld of the force” (this occult element is even stronger in the novelization of the movie), and some politically correct implications such as a possible (but subtle) allusion of criticism aimed at President Bush’s War on Terror, the Iraq War and Republican control of the executive, legislative and judicial branches, plus a PC line of dialogue contradicts the movie’s moral elements (“Only the Sith deal in absolutes”) and indicates that only evil people believe in absolutes and that truth is never black and white (this is more clearly stated in the novelization and seems to be an attack on conservatives and religious people who believe that there are at least some absolute truths and absolute moral laws); no foul language although one character says “In the name of. . .” and never finishes sentence; lots of action violence, some of it strong, but not gory or bloody, such as lightsaber cuts off man’s hands and head (lightsaber automatically cauterizes the wounds), lightsaber cuts off man’s legs, man’s face and body terribly burned and this is shown in hospital scene, woman gives painful birth to twins, explosions\

Your friends force you to go church?
Quick creative writing challenge for you: Describe a situation that makes any fucking sense at all where your friends force you to go to church.

>Except when I hang out with Christians, they don't try to shove their nonsense down my throat
Probably because you already drank the kool-aid, faggot.

Tried to find "The Gods Must Be Crazy," but they only had the sequel.

Despite the fact that they couldn't find anything as far as sex, violence, nudity, profanity, etc..., they still rated it as "cautious."

>they review every film that comes out
>write a review for each one that would piss off SWJs

LOL Now there's a Sup Forums dream job.

Force was the wrong word, but I've had friends try and pressure me into going to church. On top of that, I've also had a couple of religious friends go off on condescending tangents about muh lord Jesus and how drinking is bad at a party. Like I said, you christfags are the worst.

actually making fun of atheists and fedoras lost its edge a while ago

Stop posting.

>Mom makes me to go to church.
>Some of my friends have an strong opinion about drinking.
>The worst!

Neckbeards successfully surpassed even the most fundamentalist oldfags.

Christians are boring, sure, but nothing beats the euphoric atheist with Discovery Channel-based intellect.

Triggered christcucks lel

This is literally a Christian imageboard.

>(PaPaPa, HHH, AbAbAb, HoHoHo, LLL, VV, SSS, DDD, MMM) Very strong pagan, immoral worldview with a very strong humanist message that overtly attacks faith, plus very strong homosexual references; at least 210 obscenities and profanities (including dozens of “f” words and some GD and Jesus words) and frequent other crude language and innuendoes; several strong, violent cartoon moments, including a juice box is murdered by being stomped and bitten into, then squeezed dry, and a freak accident shows a human drug abuser’s head cut off in a freak accident; very strong sexual content and references includes many crude sexual comments and innuendoes (often between hot dogs and buns), an extended orgy sequence shows the cartoon food items in the store have all manner of graphic sex together (including homosexual), a female taco is a lesbian who repeatedly ogles and tries to seduce a straight female hot dog bun to no avail (though the bun makes comments saying she’s flattered nonetheless, later the female taco is engaged in graphic sex with the bun anyway in the orgy, and two male food items engage in homosexual acts during the orgy; no nudity; references to alcohol; very strong drug references; and, characters believe lies until they find out the horrible truth and some “politically incorrect” racial and ethnic stereotypes are flaunted to make a point, but some viewers probably will still be offended.

Wanna know how I know you didn't browse this site until the election?

Wanna know how I know you've only been here a few years?

Its a goldmine

>possible anti-capitalist content where corporate racing moguls are seen as corrupt, but this is overcome by the movie’s positive presentation of a small business owner

>Making fun of Christianity
no, this is ironic appreciation, verging on grudging sincere appreciation.

I'm impressed at their scope. They're really covering all the bases

>Christians don't shove things down people's throat
Its so annoying when those door to door atheists come around or when atheists hand out flyers saying Jesus loves you

>THE HANDMAIDEN is a vile period drama from South Korea about a young Korean prostitute and pickpocket sent by a criminal to become the servant of a rich Japanese woman so they can steal her inheritance. THE HANDMAIDEN ends up being a godless, pornographic, perverted, sexist, radical feminist, lesbian story depicting men as sado-masochistic monsters.

Americans hahahaha

Yeah, and how every politician has to be atheist in order to have a chance get elected

Is this satire?

They really hate "Watchmen." It's excessively violent, but "Passion of the Christ" is acceptably violent.

No, it really is annoying when atheists wake me up in the early hours of the morning on weekends to preach the word of Dawkins.

Don't forget all those atheist brochures that are left on your car when you got to a grocery store.

South Koreans don't fuck around with their horror.

This site is fucking great, OP. Thanks.

>Pagan worldview with elements of goddess worship; 145 obscenities, 2 blasphemies & 22 profanities; extremely violent rape & beating as well as slapping, hitting, tripping, pushing & scattering beads to cause so-called dancer to fall; simulated & explicit sexual activity including every perversion such as bondage, group sex, oral sex, etc.; extensive full female nudity throughout the movie; lesbianism & homosexuality; alcohol & drug use; and, revenge motifs

Which film?

Don't forget those paranoid schizophrenic batshit insane atheists. They never stop spouting how God doesn't exist and that Jesus won't save us!

This is the guy who runs the site, sounds like he might be responsible for all of the content on it too.

I'm so triggered guys, please stop.

Showgirls?

This guy sounds like he came directly from another board on this site I won't mention. Is this the new face of Sup Forums?
movieguide.org/news-articles/hijacking-civilization.html

Got it in one.

movieguide.org/reviews/orgazmo.html
Can't argue with this

>what is with the RoRo LLL V CoCo AbAb PC stuff?
Shorthand content advice - Ro for Romanticism, PC for political correctness, Ab for abhorrent content, L, for language, V for violence, Hu for humanism etc. The more symbols in a row, the stronger it is.

Meanwhile, a man with a very horrendous mask named Bane kidnaps a nuclear scientist from a CIA aircraft.

>Spasms of Blasphemous Sexual Burlesque

My God, that's BEAUTIFUL.

...

great post, upboated hehehe!

>Strong Christian, redemptive, moral worldview with strong, overt, positive references and appeals to God

DC truly is the best.

>Spasms of Blasphemous Sexual Burlesque
Sex: none
Nudity: none

keep going you look like an idiot living in 2015

>Extreme occult witchcraft worldview which makes the case in a horrific way that evil exists, including references to witches, God, and even Jesus, and particularly to Satan and demonic activity; two obscenities and one exclamatory profanity; extreme sado-masochistic violence including little boy falls to his death, woman beats her head against toilet, woman crushes unconscious man’s private parts, then manipulates him until the unconscious man relieves himself with a bloody discharge all over her, woman drills hole in man’s leg and attaches a millstone, woman beats man with shovel, woman deforms boy’s feet as boy says, “Don’t, stop, Mommy!,” deer walks around with dead baby doe hanging out of its rump, fox devours itself, ugly images of animals being devoured, stabbing with scissors, woman burned and buried as a witch, and woman grotesquely mutilates her own private parts; extreme pornographic sex between married couple, extreme sado-masochistic sex, and implied orgy combined with nature scene; shots of full male and female nudity, rear male nudity, upper male nudity and drawings from Middle Ages of nude witches and nude devils cavorting and implied nudity in orgy scenes; alcohol use; smoking and woman uses drugs for her depression; and, lying, stealing and emotional abuse.

>It assumes said parents are normies
no, it assumes parents are hardcore christian fundamentalists

>Nudity 3
>Not even an ass cheek in it
I'm not sure I understand their metric

Maybe it's the spandex? That's my best guess anyway

>That pedophile smile

He looks like a kiddie diddler.

>people ITT can't be friends with both atheists and Christians
I'm not sure I understand this meme

I'm not sure you do. These people probably wouldn't be complaining in the first place if they didn't have friends that weren't on the other end

Are we not allowed to make fun of christians now? Is that not on the approved hip list of things I can make fun of anymore? What a shame. I really hope it's just one asshurt christfag.

Based DC spreading the word of Christkino

No you cringey autistic fedora neckbeard, making fun of things I like is banned

Antichrist?!?!

This is kinda a fun game

>oh no guys, i'm going to start this website so you know what movies to stay away from
>oh wow.. l-lews, heheh, don't watch this one... oh wow, so much nudity, but i'm watching this for you guys, make sure you never accidentally put it on...
>oh jeez, homosexual themes.. t-thats not allowed in the bible

>extreme lesbian scenes
lol

christandpopculture.com/movieguide-explanation-of-ratings/
>RoRoRo, AbAbAb, FeFeFe, HoHoHo, PCPCPC, LLL, VVV, SSS, NNN, A, D, MMM

RoRoRo – Very strong Romantic, idealistic worldview or Romantic elements
AbAbAb – Very strong anti-biblical, anti-Christian or anti-Jewish worldview or elements
FeFeFe – Feminist worldview or elements (may be increased to FeFe or FeFeFe
HoHoHo – Very strong homosexual worldview or homosexual elements
PCPCPC – Politically correct worldview or elements (may be increased to PCPC or PCPCPC)
LLL – Numerous obscenities and profanities (more than 25)
VVV – Very strong, extreme or graphic violence
SSS – Graphic adultery, promiscuity, sexual perversion, or sexual immorality
NNN – Extensive, graphic, or full in your face nudity
A – Light, brief or some alcohol use
D – Light, brief or some smoking
MMM – Very strong or extreme miscellaneous immorality

>PCPCPC - Politically correct worldview
What? I don't see how political correctness is anti-Christian or anti-family or anything. I'm confused

This is kino for christian reviews

Homosexuality being OK is a PC thing but not for some Christians?
I'm guessing.

>2/4
>50% passing grade
>ABHORRENT

50% isn't a passing grade in America

oh shit that's right you guys are on the imperial system. what's your measurement for exactly half? the weight of a single human testicle?

We have a republican in the white house, so it's in again. plus, making fun of retarded fucking christians doesn't get old. Perhaps you'd feel more at home at breddit?

I didn't say 50% wasn't half I said 50% (ie half) is a failing grade.

yes, but it's still better than even a mildly christian person

>I don't believe is ALL that bible stuff, but I'm sure there's SOMEONE up there watching out for us :):):) :D

Not him, but I hung out with all religious people in highschool. I was never forced to go at home, so I just never went to school. Friends would at first ask me to go on Sundays, and I would go from time to time. But I stopped after awhile and then suddenly I had no more friends. A nicer one sent a facebook message a few months after not seeing them, and said it hurt them all too much to see me going down a dark path. I fucking mowed lawns on Sunday. That was the dark path.

>japanese image board
>christion

welcome to Sup Forums! an anonymous cousin to reddit, new friend :)))))