Texas man filmed beating turtle to death with hammer says it was self-defense

>Washington said that he was simply protecting himself. The reptile had lunged at him, he said, according to the affidavit. He acknowledged to police he had made no effort to cut the line or unhook the turtle. Police countered that the witness accounts dispute the claims of self-defense and a fast death for the turtle.

washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/07/27/texas-man-filmed-beating-turtle-to-death-with-hammer-says-it-was-self-defense/

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youtube.com/watch?v=E8rU-bLYM7Y
youtube.com/watch?v=wR25s933mxs
youtube.com/watch?v=WT2eLretCWE
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Who gives a fuck, I run these shit heads over all the time

niggers defending niggers, how surprising

MY TURTLES

Anybody got sauce on the video?

Post jebs

I have a turtle in my backyard and tied a balloon to him so he's easier to find out there.

Thought he was making a run for it once but it was just the wind.

You sound like the neighborhood whacko

HE'S COMING RIGHT FOR US

Lol why did this make me laugh so much

I'm fucking dying holy shit

Fucking brilliant.
>BALLON ALL TURTLES!!

topdUGZ

u need to get out more bro

...

...

sick americans. THEY'RE JUST TURTLES

A lot of sick fuck rednecks enjoy torturing turtles. When I was a kid my friend's brother would always fish them out of ponds and then vivisect them.

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>snapping turtle

Who fucking cares. Those things can bite off fingers, whole hands if they're large enough. If he cut it loose with the hook still in it it would probably have died anyway from infection, if not some other complication.

>It was a dindu
wew

what ? they're harmless and s l o w ...

Nice.

Well shit if that's the case he was probably going to eat it later with the gar and/or catfish he was fishing for, that is until some nosy liberal faggot chased him off with his fucking idiotphone.

fish can't feel pain retards

Did he hate Jeb? Was it revenge for his low energy campaign? Questions!?!?!?

This is the funniest headline I've ever read.

Turts can't event walk to work these days without getting robbed or killed.

#TLM

I guess it's a good thing no one has ever filmed me deep sea fishing. I can't tell you how many times I've taken a baseball bat to tuna, sharks and grouper when I have drug them on board

Is that lowti3rgods dad?

Niggers love turtle soup. I worked on a pipeline project and we were sent out to find Gopher tortoises which are endangered and relocate them so they were not killed during construction and this one nigger working with us got fired because they found out he was taking them home and eating them

oh yeah
because turtles are slow and you know they cant run fast

I've heard this story before but I don't remember where. Florida just out of curiosity?

Was this nigga's name the Shredder?

That's how we do it in Texas

couldn't be, the shredder is a hapa edgelord

>Americans
>not just "white" niggers

Rusty Shackleford?

Yeah it was on the Florida Gas Phase 8 project. 36 inch line running from Tallahassee to South Florida

If tortoises can't swim why do they look like turtles?
Freaking frauds I tell ya.

>Texas

Too small

Nice. But now that I'm thinking about it I think the version I heard was some black guy doing the same thing out at the phosphate mines.

t. "white" bosniak

>he's coming right for us

die in a fire

"Texas Man"

Real life Bowser.

Murrica w0t u duing?

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE TURTLES
youtube.com/watch?v=E8rU-bLYM7Y

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This.
Its a fucking turtle. Anybody who is butthurt has never grown up or been to a true rural setting. I mean, Jesus, my grandfather used to tell me they'd make him drown the kittens as they were being born because they couldn't feed them. Just is what it is

>be Jeb Bush
>wake up early in the morning
>feel depressed and empty
>sit up and open nightstand drawer
>pull out loaded .22 handgun and stick the barrel in my mouth
>suddenly remember today is Sunday Funday
>smile rushes to my face
>put gun back in drawer
>not today
>run downstairs
>Columba is standing in kitchen
>"Buenos dias, Jeb. Today will be an extra special Sunday Funday because I invited one of your friends to join us."
>she points at the kitchen table
>Donald Trump is sitting at the table pouring cereal into my favorite guacabowle
>"Good morning, Jeb. I like your pajamas" says Trump
>realize I'm still wearing my one-piece footie pajamas with turtle patterns
>"h-h-hi Donald"
>embarrassed
>"Hey Jeb, could you please bring me the milk?" asks Trump
>take milk out of refrigerator and walk towards the table
>trip on my toy turtle that I left on the floor last night
>fall down and spill milk all over the floor
>lying in a puddle of milk
>Columba screams, "ay dios mio, Jeb! I told you to put your turtles away after you're done playing with them."
>she takes off one of her shoes and begins spanking me with it
>curl into fetal position
>start crying
>Columba tells me to go upstairs for 15-minute timeout
>run upstairs
>get my gun
>aim it at my head
>pull trigger
>wake up in hospital 3 days later
>Donald Trump sitting at foot of my bed
>ask him what happened
>he tells me the bullet didn't kill me
>"How could I survive a headshot point blank?" I asked
>Donald Trump smiles and says:
>"The bullet you used was low energy"
>mfw

It's shit like this that has kept me from going catfish noodling. Could you imagine sticking your hand in its mouth. You aren't getting it back

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IT'S COMIN' RIGHT FOR US!

TURTLES ARE NARTURE'S RUSEMAN, THEY CAN HAUL ASS WHEN THEY CHOOSE TO

TURTLES ARE LITERALLY ARMORED CROCODILES, NEVER TRUST A TURTLE OR YOUR LIFE MAY BE FORFEIT
youtube.com/watch?v=wR25s933mxs

It's Tortoises that are slow as shit. Turtles can run like hell if they want to badly enough.

>bosniak

I have a turtle and I never once thought to tie a balloon around it. Now I will be unable to NOT think about ballooning it.

Quick Ned! Get the bazooka!

Was good until the end. It need a "what a mess"

>snapping turtle
Aren't they supposed to be Australia tier cunts?

NOT THE TURLTES I FUCKING LOVE TURTLES STOP IT

You have to grab it by the tail and swing it around a bunch.

A hammers not gonna do it for those, you'd need a jackhammer

Why is he being arrested for killing a turtle?

#ShellLivesMatter

>tfw I can't find my sides
I don't know how youse done it but I know youse done it

snappers yes. The only turtle of peace are the flatter sliders that stay in the water and only come out to sun themselves on rocks and logs. The spikier/more bulgy the shell is, the more treacherous it becomes. They eventually get to trashcan diameter and then terrorize mammals

>The reaction to his Facebook video astonished Frank. “The city came together to bring justice to a turtle,” he told the Midland-Reporter Telegram, “when many would have just walked by and said, ‘Oh, it’s just an animal.’”
if you had said this was a quote from Justin Trudeau as a young man, I would believe it
I mean, how sad and bored do you have to be to give a shit about a turtle

Kittens aren't a natural part of the ecosystem.

Going out and finding animals to kill slowly for no reason whatsoever is fucking dumb and needs to be punished.

We kill animals for food and their hides. We kill animals to remove an exploding pest population. We kill animals when they are presenting a legitimate threat to humans.

Beating a turtle to death with a hammer satisfies none of those conditions. It's a redneck being a redneck.

It's a snapping turtle
Those things are ornery

why

I don't want to be that guy, but what does that have to do with politics? It's a fucking turtle.

>drown the kittens as they were being born because they couldn't feed them
I can understand this but I think there's quite a difference between drowning and beating to death with a hammer

how else do you stop an armored dinosaur from eating your feet? Instagramming it and trying to get 1k likes?

Don't you have a ditch to be digging for the Serbs?

Walking away? Putting it in a box and dumping it back where it came from?

youtube.com/watch?v=WT2eLretCWE

you can't drown a turtle, fuckface. For one.
For two, how else do you end a turtle threat? It's plated in armor and the skin is scaled steel. you threaten it, they hiss menacingly and retract into their shell, then when you try to move them they shift their body weight wildly, kick, claw you, and snap your fingers off before you can physically react. All their power is in the neck and jaws, millions of years of evolutionary perfection. Unless you literally fire down it's throat, the shell will even mitigate a shotgun. Turtles are serious fucking business m8

I never understood this.
Cats are excellent hunters and can pretty much survive on their own. Just free it. It will survive. Just seems unnecessary,

>turtle
>threat

You're a fucking moron. I'm the most pro-2A and pro-hunting and pro-self-defense guy you'll ever find and even I think you're a fucking moron.

You're excusing a hick beating a turtle to death with a hammer. Leave Sup Forums and go think about what you just fucking advocated for.

Pic related, it's you.

Except it was a nigger

The problem I could foresee is that those kittens will grow up fine, breed with each other, and now you've got 30+ cats over a few generations running around your property.

Animal cruelty should be more harshly punished. These people are sociopaths.

>says it was self-defense

kek

ban assault reptilians

>The problem I could foresee is that those kittens will grow up fine, breed with each other, and now you've got 30+ cats over a few generations running around your property.
I would literally have no problem with this

>this is the level of intelligence of a nigger

This nigger actually thought that he was being smart.

I just want all niggers to die, painlessly if possible.

>turtle
>vector for salmonella
>disgusting reptiles
>kill cats, dogs, and ducks all the time
good riddance, I fucking hate turtles. they're nature's D-student

SHALL

your mother should have smothered you

and you're a fucking gay cityboy that's going to lose extremities or run like a bitch at the first sight of a snapper, if you ever had the balls to step foot off the concrete once in your miserable life.

>balloon turtle
What happens when if he gets in a body of water?

If he had been their specifically to hunt for turtles for food he would have had to beat it to death anyway and like I already said he probably would have taken the turtle home and ate it if some bleeding heart faggot hadn't harassed him.

Doesn't fucking matter.

There are two ways to kill things. Quick and mostly painless, or long and extremely painful.

Human beings with a soul always use the former, subhuman niggers do the latter because they enjoy causing pain.

Deliberately killing an animal slowly and painfully should be a crime, a severe one. These psychos should be put down imo.

poor jeb

your mother did and gave up halfway through, resulting in the retarded shitposting you're currently exhibiting.

LMAO 2CAT

It's a fucking turtle. There's no way to kill it that's not brutal.