/brit/

grug angry so grug smash! WAAAA

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=dSKe0lLnrzQ
youtube.com/watch?v=qM7Eob4YFDQ
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

No slug eyebrows
No dyed hair
No ultra short hair
No face piercings
No tattoos
Not more than 10 instagram pictures
No pictures that feature men other than family
No pictures of 'girls night out'

Thoughts on the tinder bio?

Who's round is it?
Down that beer quick, smash my glass back down
Fall over the table, all rowdy and pissed
Seems the only difference between mid-week shit
And weekend is how loud I speak
And whether I try and pull a girlfriend
That's it, who's got dough?
Hey, you know I'd pay but I'm broke, only got coinage to show
Putting off walking home on my own to my throne
Two empty takeaways, ashtrays, the remains of the day stoned
Pick a bottle off the table, peel the label, tell a fable
Offer opinion for free and a solution to the latest big news story
"Football and Smut Daily" as I ponder winning the lottery
Buy a drink, chat to a lady, the girl's well fit
Definitely, not maybe, she's rude
I'd shag her and matey, right there

I want to stick my penis in a woman lads

ok what're you doing to try and achieve this?

why was the lion tired?

cos jungle is massive.

My senpai last Chrimbo

I'm the one taking the photo x

youtube.com/watch?v=dSKe0lLnrzQ

banger

so If I take paracetamol and do some heavy drinking 4 hours later I won't die?

self explanatory

incredible

COME ON EILEEN

we can't all have what we want

try and get back to us in a bit

>things randomly on fire
Haha welcome to 'nam

take the recommended dose and no more and you'll be fine laddy

nah lad, if people can drink on xanax and coke and live you'll be fine

FUCK i meant family

love aussies

they talk so funny

Well I matched with some girls on Bumble. It's the transition that baffles me though. How do we get from texting each other to me sticking my erect penis in her vagina? The normie world is strange and frightening desu.

BOYAKA BOYAKA

Almost just smashed my left foot to bits with a 20kg plate

scary aha, that would have interfered with my toil

you should invest in lighter crockery lad

Turn down the fire

need to shag that blonde fatty

you just talk until it wouldn't be awkward in person then ask to meet up, but I meant more what're you doing to make yourself more desirable i.e working out, good hygiene, working on social skills that sorta thing

...

the workfu said I look nice in the work Christmas photo :3

all canadian posters should be banned

need a custard doughnut in my fucking pie hole

alright lads since a lot of you are /fit/ what's a good bodyweight routine I can do in my small bedroom, willing to buy equipment if it's not mega expensive and doesn't take up a lot of room

the wacky bruce has spoken

netflix making new cyberpunk kino

youtube.com/watch?v=qM7Eob4YFDQ

GOOOOOOODD EVENING GOOD EVENING GOOD EVENING GOOD EVENING

you can probably get an app that has exercises that dont require a lot of equipment

>installing closed source software
I'd rather die lad

calisthenics are pointless

A pull-up bar is like £20ish
just drill it into your doorframe

>tfw you have a shower with the Korean gf and play with her arse and massage her neck

I like stephen fry desu

nice one pal

everyone i know who has an asian gf has an ugly asian gf

are they though

Bench, barbell, two dumbbells and weights, dummy. Take it from there.

same. top lad. give his episode of rhlstp a listen, it's incredible.

okay den
watch what i say den
if you like champagne
swing my way den

Look on amazon for a dip/pullup unit. If your frame is wide enough that alone will make you look fit

at least they have a gf

Arma virumque canō, Trōiae quī prīmus ab orīs
Ītaliam, fātō profugus, Lāvīniaque vēnit
lītora, multum ille et terrīs iactātus et altō
vī superum saevae memorem Iūnōnis ob īram;
multa quoque et bellō passūs, dum conderet urbem,
inferretque deōs Latiō, genus unde Latīnum,
Albānīque patrēs, atque altae moenia Rōmae.

>pullup rack, its all u need brah

would rather no gf than an ugly gf

i have a qt celtic gf

In decent shape, hygiene is good, don't know how one can really "work" on social skills. I actually have a decent career though, not a shut-in NEET like the rest of you losers.

fuck off shitizen

would doing dips on my bed (like in prison movies) offer similar gains?

...

Is there ANY bigger red flag for a girl than being obsessed with Disney?

you just KNOW they're psycho

i'm pro-choice for ethnic minorities and pro-life for white people

honestly same
my mam has made raised me to be too fussy to ever accept an ugly gf

>bodyweight
not great but you can make do to at least stay healthy and lean

get a pullup bar for sure and start with those
work on normal pullups, then with different grips and maybe add weight to yourself or try one arm
for pushups same things, work your way towards different hand and leg positions, best pushup imo is with a medicine ball under one hand so you need to balance yourself

for crunches progressively add weight (holding something), and do Russian twists
for legs just do sprints, like wind sprints
ita all about progressive overload and doing sets rather than a load at once until your body gives out

Reminder that Stephen Fry pounding some twink's bussy is every bit as meaningful and beautiful as any heterosexual relationship and only hateful bigots would think otherwise

I am vile

...

>good career
>educated
>good personality
>decent face
>dress well
>in shape


>5'8

wonder if that has anything to do with the subliminal messaging that's everywhere in disney films and their more explicit subversive themes as of late

...

It'll be awkward. But better than nothing. If you can do 30 deep dips and 15 full range of motion pullups and decide you want more mass then head to a proper weight room.

not stephen fry

my one worry about crunches is I once heard it ruins your back long term, is this true or did I get told FUD?

plenty of celebrities and rich men marry 20 year old girls

thanks jews

5'10 is the radical centrist height

Just get the bar you melon, it will take up as much space as a regular chair

>83055262
nice brine, m9

Get a fucking childrens bench press and a barbell, it takes up no room

want to avoid buying too much equiptment considering I might not stick with the whole exercise thing

Thinking of switching to a mobile only bank account. Don't trust the big banks desu

You vile little slug

Stop wasting our time you fat slob

Out the club about three, to the takeaway
The shit-in-a-tray merchants
Shop's got special perchant for the disorderly
Geezers looking ordinary and a few looking lairy
Chips fly 'round to the sound of the latest chart entry
An incendiary, waiting to blast
No harm with a contest who can throw the furthest
Behind the counter they look nervous
But carry on cutting the finest cuts of chicken
From the big spitting stick
Then over flies a chip, flips and hits you on the back
You spin round on the attack, "Fuck you playin' at?"
He looks like a Cheshire cat, almost falls down, dour frowns
And Superman eye-lasers don't even register
By now, you wanna leather this twat
And forever you're gonna regret that, your choice of path
So mash his head up and your girl's now fed up
But stop to think it's never going to be the Jackie Chan scene
It could've been to end up

really quite shocking how poor my dress style is

I'm a perpetual 17 year old

sounds like bullshit, but you can also do planks and bicycles
if you have a pul up bar you can do hanging leg raises or upside-down crunches
desu a pull up bar is the best single piece of equipment you can get if you can only get one

what did he mean by this

Whats for fucking lunch you little gremlins

Im hungry

if my student card says it's valid for 3 more years even though I graduate this year do you reckon I can hold on to my student bank account until then

defo gonna continue to benefit from discounts and stuff but seems a bit dodgy pulling one over on the bank like that

>lunch at 3.30 in the afternoon
your life is spiralling out of control padraig

I'm underweight lad, I think
alright lad, next pay day I'll pick up a pull up bar, dumbells, a barbell and a bench - will this be good until I work up enough confidence to go to the gym?

might make some leftovers, I can make you some soup whilst I'm down there lad?

just put all my money into dogecoin

Had a dream where a drunk girl promised to be my gf if I drove her and her friends to the shops but when we got back she said she was just joking

Not sure what to make of it

I'm getting a chicken and doner kebab for my tea. can't wait

got some nice posh sausages and white pudding from this market stall

you're not getting any though

If you're buying all that just get a gym membership lmao. Ask someone who looks friendly and fit for tips. I ask for tips all the time and people are usually flattered and helpful

my 8values keep changing between Right-Wing Populism, Authoritarian Capitalism and Capitalist Fascism

dunno which fits me best

'avin a tough time finking today

i'll trade you some maple syrup for this one.

making burgers for dindins. will be served with a nice salad.

I think I've never been more sad than when The Streets broke up

*throws boiling soup in your face*
mmmh... tasty..

*sticks a plastic fork through your retina*
hehe.. yummy!

*strangles you with sausage links*
aha... delightful...

Thats an ugly family.

I get neo conservatism despite explicitly stating I don't think we should spread our values to other nations