Describe your first sexual experience with an AQTF quote

Describe your first sexual experience with an AQTF quote.

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youtube.com/watch?v=y_Rm158sfE4
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Just getting this one out of the way up front.

Alternatively;
>Is this all y'all do up here in Canada?
>We speak French! Sometimes....... mostly just this though

THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO

I'M GONNA BEAT THE FUCK OUTTA THAT LITTLE MEATBALL!

Disqualified, handjob

Yes, I have banged HUNDREDS of BROADS. INTERNATIONALLY. But know this - I wrap my rascal, TWO TIMES, cuz I like it to be joyless and without sensation as a way of punishing Super Models.

MY ASS HAS EATEN MY HAND!!!! IT HUNGERS....FOR MORE!!!!!!!!!!

...

All I know is "ball" and "good."
And "rape."

Gentlemen, behold!

"I'm gonna rock your body ('til the break of dawn)"

HANDBANANA NO

>I get it. It ain't making me laugh, but I get it.

Prom night was awkward.

...

None of that happened and you know it!

I want mah name to be Spaghetti

>THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dinobones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators when wakened by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year. For many were killed. I'm not finished. YOU should have gotten a snack. A war-like race of elves from the Red Planet landed on the ice-encased Earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys using galactic elfin technology. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train, " but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked, in a big way.

ARISE, CHICKEN! ARISE!

"First sexual experience" is a broad term, OP

...

...

Fifty bucks if they watch

>I don't have any real dolls, I prefer to use my infinite imagination ... cause I ain't got no damn money.

>"no I didn't!"
>"yes you did."

AM I NOT INVISIBLE!? WHY NOT!?

>And now, upon retrospect, I ask why?
youtube.com/watch?v=y_Rm158sfE4

>All I know is "ball" and "good." ...And rape.

We smoke while we flip the bird -Err

RIP HEAD OFF

>So you do that for science, or....?

>Can I at least take her into the woods, rape her and behead her, possibly not even in that order?

it doesn't matter if you're white, or black, or a sasquatch even. As long as you follow your dreams, no matter how crazy or against the law it is. Except for sasquatch, if you're a sasquatch the rules are different.

Because, tonight, long stick goes boom!

>Oooh you've been a bad....chicken.

Here. Take the Meat Bridge! It's right here!

>YOU'RE FRIGGIN EMERGENCY BRAKE IS ON
>DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DRIVE
>JACKASS

I'm doing this as hard as I can.

>Oh you gonna love this, boy. Tyrone calls you up, you know, in the game, and he says, "I can dig more clams than you, stupid!" And you've got to say, "Nuh-uh, boy!" And then y'all gotta race down to the beach with your buckets and your shovels. And the object of the game... is to find parking.

Ohhhhhh geez my hands... look at my hands...

>Commence the Jigglin'

It don't matter.

None of this matters.

THIS IS TOTALLY ILLEGAL WHAT I'M DOING TO YOU GUYS

"...I wouldn't DARE jump across the table and feast on your fluids...Not on national television, I wouldn't DARE."

>Lordy lordy! Look who's turning 4040!

...

Ow.

I remember when being a normie on Sup Forums was a bad thing.

>Okay okay, stop yelling at me!
>Do what now?

I think this is really just an ATHF thread user, I doubt half the people in this thread have had sex.

>You know why you're in a box? Because they put you there.

Oh come on man, is it really being a normie if I only bang chubby girls at cons a few times a year?

I haven't had sex yet.
To make matters worse I haven't even had my first kiss yet either.
Thank you for reminding me how worthless my life has been so far.

I think somebody's a little bi-curious!

...

It's like the Thunderdome in 'ere! Only...two men enter, no man leaves. Rated R.

>Soooooo........ we jigglin', or...?

>I don't need "instructions" to know how to rock!

>I'm still alive...I'm just real depressed.

>You are cold as ice!

I remember when self-effacing jokes about how big losers we are were mostly just jokes and not a badge of honor. In short, fuck /r9k/.

Gentlemen, behold... CORN!
>>Oh, ok, you know this is pretty nice. Yeah, I am kinda hungry.
Good, THEN LET THE MATING BEGIN! HAHAHAHAA!

Guess its time to fuck off to wizardchan then. Bye.

Yes

>Sup Forums
>having sex

Love this meme

>I'm sure someone thinks that's pretty neat

>Oh, that's Inside-Out Boy. His mouth is in his belly, so he's gotta slap at his vocal chords with his bladder in order to make words.

"What? It's in self-cleaning mode!"

>I saw you lookin' at it
>yo mama you did
CLASSIC COMEBACK!
>yomamayomamayomama
INCINERATION!
YOU'RE THE INSAULT MASTER!

"NEVER RETURN TO ASSFACE LAKE"

>I hope you can see this because I'm doing it as hard as I can

"i like your booty but i'm not gay"

>I knew there was something special about you and I'm not just saying that 'cause you're a whore, but you are a total whore.

Normally I wouldn't do a fat chick from the flag corps, but uh...it is a new era!...of loneliness. Oh God..

" I like beatings! I'll beat ya all day!"

Really, this is just my life in general.

>HEY RETARD! Not now, not ever

MOMMY IT'S TINGLING I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT

>Hell naw, we ain't livin' with no gay person.

Ok, have a crappy weekend! Hope your house burns down!

Tonight... You!

My first Sup Forums post! I'm on a PlayStation

Any sexual experience you have had, outside of wanking, marks you as a normie for life.
So fuck off from my site.

"This was a uh, very bad idea."

"You and your... 'Third Dimension'..."

Nobody will ever fuck /r9k/.

MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY

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>NO! IT WAS FREE!
>AND SHE WAS DRUNK! SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS DOING!

I've never had a sexual experience with a AQTF quote.