Hello sir, what movie would you like to see today?

Hello sir, what movie would you like to see today?

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The one where I'm not a 27 year old kissless virgin

Thanks for letting me behind the counter to get to the secret theater Robert. I think I'll just watch the usual.

The one that helps me forget I'm a 27 year old kissless virgin

Hey Bob, got anything non-jewish today?

Where's my popcorn nigger

ROBERT LOOKS LIKE *THAT?*

The one comedy about the sad life of the 27 year old kissless virgin

*don't say nigger, don't say nigger, don't say nigger*

The Nigger Movie.

*fuck*

Why are you wearing a belt with a vest? Why does your vest not match your pants?

Fuck you nigger, I'm here for the crab legs. I have my movie ticket in my pocket and it's none of your god damn business which Marvel kino I'm watching.

And make sure you get me my extra cup of MALT vinegar. Last time you gave me apple cider, I won't tolerate that again, Robert.

f-for you

Lol

I don't know, how's the latest Tyler Perry movie Robert?

The singles theater is right this way

Take me to the latest episode of BLACKED, starring Robert and my wife's daughter

BLACKED marathon as usual, m'boy

>TFW I turned down friends' invitation to go watch the new PotC movie because I don't want to see yet another film with wacky Depp
>TFW I don't have anything planned instead, just genuinely don't wanna watch it.

damn

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa nigger
FUCK

HOLY SHIT ROBERT PLEASE FUCK MY WIFE

[deafening silence]

they got my boy robert... damn...

F

no!!!!!!

SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME INSTEAD

How can you even be kissless? I mean come the fuck on I'm 5'11 and 9 st. 3 lbs and even I have had offers of sex. But seriously you guys have to be joking about being kissless right? no one is this inept at human interaction right?

went to imax 2d alien 10am last day showing cause fuck disney only 8 others in the theater,
people STILL sat 2 seats away from me why the fuck do they do this?

I'm 6'3 and in good shape and I'm kissless

I'm kissless at that age because I never made any moves
It's not hard to breeze through life

Don't worry babe, they don't suspect a thing

He wuz a gud boi

>I woke up several days later in the popcorn mines cold, naked and alone. I didn't know what to think or feel except that I needed to survive...

Threadkino

where are the used cum rags and the armed security?

are things simply different in Europe?

>is the "no singles" policy active?
>its not ok perfect, can i get one for collateral beauty
>and 1 serving of crab legs too please

*breaks down the door*
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY WIFE YOU BAST..... Robert? NO!

I'm 6'2, go to the gym 5 times a week and I'm kissless AND hugless

also it's really 20% looks when it comes to getting laid its about personality and how talkative you are, I'm really introverted especially with girls.

Robert, you're lowering yourself
A gentleman like yourself should respect yourself

Don't let it go on any longer it will only get harder and harder for you! Embrace your inner chad. Even if your fail you have still taken a step forward.

I can testify its not about looks I'm skeleton build and have a nose like a witch. There is no gym for your personality so you must push yourself to make those conversation.

I tried a few years ago and I sperged it all up
I've joined the military so I can use my lack of requiring human contact for monetary gain

Have you guys ever called a black person a nigger to their face?

>talking to niggers

Not in a million years

Yes

yes, I'm black though

Look Robert, Any chance you could give me a break on the singles policy today.
>sorry sir, you must have your falcon
but Robert, you killed my falcon yesterday when you were at my wife's house
>no exceptions I am sorry sir
FUCK YOU ROBERT... you gonna be over tonight after work again? I just want to know whether I should wash my wife's sheets for you again.

Nigger

Robert's always let me in with a wink and a smile when he saw me alone.

I don't know what your problem is.

He was too pure for this world

Yep. Pick-up game of basketball. He kept calling me one so I called him one. He chimped. I told him I was going to call him a nigger if he kept calling me one. He calmed down.

Robert posting is pretty good

I hope it catches on

wait is this Robert guy an actual theater attendant? I thought he was just a meme

Robert exists in every theatre attendant
Everytime you're let in despite the singles policy, that's Robert
Everytime you find bonus falcon feed in the dispensor, that's Robert.
Whenever you get fresh crab legs, you better believe that's our nigga Robert

Of course Robert is real.

He kept calling you a nigger?

damn your wife must be way hotter than mine! NICE!

Robert is in every theater, literally.

He's like Nurse Joy or Officer Jenny

say that to my face fucker not online and see what happens

>stone

youtube.com/watch?v=gJa9gEUa0To

*Looks at photo taken of Robert last Summer*

I.. *sniff* ..Oh God *sob*. I-I miss you Robert.
H-here I thought I had all this time.. now I have all the time in the world without you...
One d-day I'll be coming Ro- *heaves*
R- *sob*
*weeps*

autism

>9 st. 3 lbs
>9 st.
>3 lbs
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY THE FUCKING POUNDS YOU RETARDED MONG HOLY SHIT
YES I'M AUTISTIC/MAD BUT FUCK YOU

>There is no gym for your personality
What is philosophy, psychology and hobbies

Robert, I just don't know anymore. Everything that comes to the kinoplex is dull, disappointing, focus tested rubbish. Disney owns all the flicks these days, and all the films are just Nolan-tier rubbish, you know? Even Tarantino's stuff has gone downhill.

I think I just come here now, because... Well, because you're my best friend, Robert.

D-do you want t-to h-hang out after your sh-shift?

None of these will really fix a sperg

Only pretending you're a Chad will make it work
Unless you're really a sperg
Then you're hopeless

Dude I did NOT need this today

Funny enough I was thinking that psychology might help total spergs, philosophy for cucks or whatever - non-autists who have personal issues - and hobbies just round out everyone

But I don't have that much experience with psychology so I don't know how great it is

The problem with real spergs is that even if they are given a complete options chart of what to do in a social situation, they'd choose wrong.

They need disastrous trial and error, but even then, their sperginess might make them unable to learn
I think that's what makes a true sperg a sperg. The inability to learn what people don't like

BOO!

HE HAS RISEN

PRAISE ROBERT, ALLOWER OF SINGLES

Can I some fuckin popcorn? SERVICE

FUCKING NIG-Grrr

youtu.be/JBx-vydxfKU

DONT YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT JAMAL

JUST FETCH ME SUM POPCORN, BOYYYY

I'm gonna watch the new Guardians movie. You're still coming over tonight to fuck my wife, right?

>Sup Forums humour

It's a good movie desu

I was asking about my wife, you glorious bull

FUCK! ROBERT! Don't do that to me, man!

Thanks bro
I've only been bulling for bf/wm chicks recently
I need that type of reinforcement

FUCK

just go watch it you faggot, it's not like it's gonna physically hurt you, ffs

*pulls out gun

jfc robert don't do that. i could have shot you. i'm wary of niggers just popping up

Mississippi in flames.

Yes but we are friends so it isn't even a thing. Actually I thikn one of his other nigger friends got mad about it once but didn't say anything.

DELET THIS

That's when genuine mental incapacitation comes into it though, if someone can't read reactions from others they're further up the (real) autism spectrum than just aspergers

The documentary about popcorn miners forced to work for you because they broke your stupid kinoplex rules