Just got back from seeing ALIEN covenant

>why was david crying when he killed those engineers
>dood lets have te aliums appear for 4.5 mins of screentime lmao
>dood lets spend our budget on a flashback xD
>member cameron's depiction of how the aliens should act? well we do that here hehe
>what if we hire franco so he can be burned after being on screen pretending to sleep for 12 seconds rofl
>lets fast forward the action so no one can tell whats going on teehee

Other urls found in this thread:

abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=1297922&page=1
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

still not as cringey as the dialogue.

>land on an alien planet
>"hol up guys hol up a sec"
>"just listen"
>"its too quiet, there's no birds"

MOTHERFUCKER YOU JUST LANDED ON THIS PLANET WHAT THE FUCK MAKES YOU THINK IT HAS BIRDS

wheat = birds dumbass

Did david feed the wheat to Shaw to keep her alive while he experimented on her?

Don't forget the whole part where David reveals himself as the villain to the captain, invites the captain to his evil laboratory, and the idiot captain actually follows him and does everything David tells him to do.

>arrive on unknown planet
>it has almost the same atmosphere as Earth
>Ok guys we're good, no need for helmets

fucking stupid

It's not like the captain has seen previous aliens movies.

>>dood lets have te aliums appear for 4.5 mins of screentime lmao
whats the problem with this.

>Went to that planet explicitly because it had an earth-like atmosphere

It wasn't a coincidence

As a person who had very high hopes for this movie, that scene really ruined the movie for me.

I know it wasn't a coincidence, but the notion that an Earth-like planet would evolve in the same exact way as Earth and have identical pathogens, allergens, etc. is fucking retarded.

the majority of the rest of screen time is uninteresting - ten min recorder lesson ;)

When the robot reveals he's the one who made the aliens who are slaughtering your crew and is planning on making more then you don't need to have seen alien movies to know to shoot that robot in the face.

Kill meeeee

>4.5 minutes of screentime
They had much more than that bro

I think the problem was partly screentime, and partly something else. The neomorph scenes from the beginning of the movie (from the time the first guy gets infected by the black dust, up until the shuttle explodes and David comes to the rescue) were tense as fuck and very well done. Those aliens seemed like a scary, formidable enemy.

Fast-forward to the xenomorphs. A creature that used antagonize Ripley for an entire 2+ hour film is now easily dealt with when mary sue and billy-bob hatch a spur of the moment plan. The xenos in the movie didn't seem scary at all. There was literally zero tension in the xeno scenes, and they were clearly only tacked on so they could put a xeno on the poster and sell more tickets.

My personal opinion:
This would've been a much better film if the neomorphs were the main enemy throughout the entirety of it. Save the xeno shit for another flick.

i found the alien scenes the most boring.

Why didn't they find this planet in the first place? I was expecting some sort of revelation regarding this since they seemed to go out of their way to say they looked everywhere and didn't find that specific planet.

Yeah but instead he decides to follow the robot into the pitch black basement, and proceeds to put his head right next to a bizarre egg because the robot tells him to.....I seriously cannot stress enough how stupidly this script must've been written

They had a "gee, this planet didn't even show up on our scanners wtf" moment. It's called plot-induced-stupidity, user. This film has tons of it.

This desu. Also the bit where David tried to tame one was very cool. Would have been interesting if he had a pet or two. But no, they had to go full on Aliens action shite

>all you fucking dumbasses wondering why they all obeyed David's commands
THEY THOUGHT HE WAS A FUCKING WALTER MODEL WHO ALWAYS OBEYS YOUR COMMANDS AND ALWAYS TELLS YOU THE TRUTH
EVEN IF CRUDUP DID TRY TO SHOOT DAVID HE WOULD HAVE CLOSED THE DISTANCE IN A HEARTBEAT AND FUCKING SLAPPED HIM ACROSS THE ROOM

sounds dumb desu

Planetwide storms hiding the atmosphere

Did they know he was a robot? I can't remember if he revealed that to them...

What would they have lost by killing him?

>This would've been a much better film if the neomorphs were the main enemy throughout the entirety of it. Save the xeno shit for another flick.

Agreed totally. The neomorphs and David made this movie for me. The ending was drawn out and unnecessary.

Also agreed

nail'd it

also I know it's as basic to change the color, but the flesh coloured ones freak me out.

>Neomorphs

>small and pink

>David wants to continue his research to improve upon it

>finally succeeds in making the perfect organism

>big and black

What did Ridley Scott mean by this?

Why did exposure to the black goo create neomorphs when it's already been established that it creates zombies and/or squid babies?

I know it's very easy to get angry about stupid human behavior like that, but have you guys ever heard of the Stanford Prison Experiment? Or that Mcdonalds prank call story? Humans can and do very stupid things, especially under duress -- when the critical thinking goes out the window.

All of us would like to believe that we wouldn't be as stupid as the Captain, but it's just speculation.

You play on my skin flute while I do the fingering.

The actual results from different types of exposure to the goo are muddled as fuck and I honestly have no idea what's going on with it. I don't think Ridley does, either.

FUCKING HUMIES
STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY WHEAT
SCREEEEEEEEE

Mcdonalds prank call story?

I agree with what you say though. Some of it is action under duress, but I think some of it is hindsight idiots who think something isn't stupid until it comes back to bite a character in the ass.

Do you have down syndrome? He's a carbon copy of the robot on board their ship. It seems like David is the first successful android. I'm sure every human should be able to recognize him.

It's explained that different strains evolved from the black goo infecting different life forms and that David has been working on a perfect strain which created the face hugger eggs

i want my money back reeeee

>Do you have down syndrome?

yes, what of it?

>Mcdonalds prank call story

abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=1297922&page=1

tl;dr a Mcdonald's manager shuts down his restaurant and puts a female teenage employee under a citizen's arrest, strip searches her, and nearly rapes her because a prank caller, pretending to be a cop, told him to do it.

I think they paid millions to the girl afterwards. Oh, and the prank caller had gotten away with smaller pranks before this one, for years.

Yeah, that's the human race.

I liked it

>his restaurant
I can't fucking believe it but it was actually a girl. She called in several dudes, only one of them stayed and performed "a sexual act." Fuckin' insane.

Yes user, but this guy is not supposed to be your average McDonald's employee or brute prisoner. These people on this mission are supposed to be the very best of the best who were chosen for a very important task of traveling across the universe (think of NASA) onboard a complex spacecraft that I would imagine requires an extensive amount of literal rocket science just to comprehend. I get the point that your making, but these character mistakes seemed a bit too lame even considering it's just a simple slasher film.

I would also argue that having an antagonist such as the xenomorph, a creature that stalks its prey and uses vents/celings and mostly just vents, who is shown very little in most of the films (save the avp movies and Alien Rez) so much and in cgi kinda doesn't work so well. Why is the fight scene so well lit so we can see the xeno all the time? Is it so we can see how bad it looks? Is that your plan Ridley?

dude we're all dumb animals that's why the government should do everything!

The dude was actually her fiance

So Albino xenos kill to eat, while the original xenos just kill to kill. Why are they so autistic?

cuz they're black

How does avp fit into this? They had flashbacks of aliens fighting predators in our past. Or is avp not cannon?

>neomorph spores are like an airborne pathogen and reproduce effectively
>xenomorph eggs practically require the charity of stupid people
Yup theyre black alright

He literally told him not to shoot a xenomorph standing next to a slain crewmember

So I solved the wheat paradox:

It is actually native to the Engineers home world. They had visited Earth and found their creation struggling to even survive because they hadn't figured out domestication of plants. So the Engineers gifted them the wheat from their planet and boom, agriculture.

jesus is every poster going to say the same criticisms every thread? yes, they didn't know the atmosphere was safe. yes, how did the computer not recognize david and then recognize david? how did the wheat survive when there were aliens? why did the aliens grow so fast? why was there a gay robot flute scene? the movie has tons of plot holes but you guys just go over the same ones. the problem with the movie is the focus on david instead of building interesting relationships with the humans, and the terrible dialogue.

The dude was in shock from losing his wife or girlfriend minutes before, and probably didn't even have the time to process that another one of his crewmates had been slain. Again, as stupid as he is for trusting Le Evil Robot, there is some understanding for his stupidity, from a psychology point of view.

David = jews
Humans = current civ jews reside in - dumb goys
Xenos = concept of miscegenation creating a more useful jewish controlled species ie golem

lol this moment was extremely sus

no it's not, you dont know anything about psychology

cool argument, bruh. it's not even so much as psychology, but biology. a person under duress cannot think properly because of an overly stimulated sympathic nervous system, or 'fight or flight' response. You cease being a logic processing human once that emergency system is activated, and just go into a stupid evolutionary chimp mode.

Am I the only one who wants to hardcore make out with Katerine Waterston?

Didn't think she was all that in Inherent Vice but she's got some kind of magnetic appeal despite not being crazy hot.

Think it's the big, dumb, sad eyes really doing it for me.

>im 12 and a wikipedia expert

Id much rather make out with noomie rapace to be honest

imagine taking her out on a date, watching her laugh while you talk about silly stuff, watching her big beautiful eyes go bright when you tell her something personal about your childhood or how much you love your dogs.

Do you plan presenting a counterargument, or are you just going to shitpost about your TV tropes critique? You're literally not even engaging in a conversation with me. You're just being like a 12 year old and spewing an opinion I can read on TV tropes.

>counterargument
>implying you made an argument warranting refutation

Thought the movie was shit besides btw aside from her and James Franco's dying making me laugh.
What a terrible franchise can't wait for them to ruin Blade Runner as well
Really? Idk Noomi's not all that imo. Cute but no sadgirl appeal.
And when I show her my facehugger yo.

shes so cute :(

Anyone know or are people just going to be retarded the whole time

oh fuck me shes just 2 cute.

>avp
dude are you mentally ill or a literal manchild? alien versus predator is the worst idea someone could have had, its like yeah how about this he-man/thundercats crossover? wouldnt it be AWESOME?

tl;dr dont be a manchild.

somehow I dont think avp continuity is the top of their list

Q T
T

No canon, but if it was canon it would improve the Alien franchise tenfold.
I just watched Convent too, I personally think it's worse than Prometheus.

Twice in my life I've been witness of people getting their fingers amputate by machinery. Once of someone getting run over and having his legs crushed by a heavy truck.
Once of one kid being dragged by horse through a road of gravel and rocks, literally shredding his skin to the bone.
Once of a group of tourist getting hit by lighting during in a storm as they took refugee under a tree.

None of people present froze up and stopped being functional in any of the cases and they weren't even trained personal, they were just regular guys and even my mom was present in some of the cases.
The worst thing that happened was someone feeling dizzy from seeing all the blood.

>Waifu dead
>Crewmate dead
>Evil murder creature right next to them
>But I'm in shock, surely I wouldn't want revenge
>Scared people don't do rash violent things like shooting at terrifying monsters, no. That would be retarded.

Ikr

Worst idea or not it's part of the films. That can't be argued and until a director writes the movies out or someone else says "yeah they are not a part of it". Thanks for not actually answering, I'm sorry I didn't realize you'd take so much offense to me calling the current discussion retarded.
This at least seems more interesting than man children jerk off to a doe eyed chick who was one of the least interesting parts of the film.

Do we have writing or someone saying it's not in? I'm curious as it's the first I'm hearing of it as we already know it's cannon predators hunt aliens.

Every person in shock reacts differently. That's Psy 101. I can shoot dead your grandma right in front of you, and you might bash my skull in, but your sibling, having witnessed the same thing, might just stand there motionless like a zombie i.e. curl up into a ball.

>psy 101
srsly tho pls stop larping as a psychologist they have a bad enough reputation already

I literally laughed in the theater at this point and my girlfriend[ /spoiler] hit me in the ribs

How about you shut your stupid fucking mouth or present a compelling counter-claim with a logically coherent argument instead of shit posting. I must've taken at least 20 Psy courses before switching majors to a field with more realistic job prospects. I would have to also present myself as a qualified psychologist, wit ha Psy.D. degree to actually count as 'LARPing'. Merely, expressing my opinions from my knowledge base doesn't count.

>b-but muh predalien
found the actual manchild.

not him but, holy shit lmaoooooo.

now, whats your point youre defending? its unclear, please explain it thorough. actual shrink here, im gonna bust your ass so good, please expand on your point.

>I must've taken at least 20 Psy courses before switching majors to a field with more realistic job prospects
thank god

So you can't answer. A simpler answer to all of this could have been "I don't know hope the next one explains it" as I only came here to see if I missed something. Have fun.

it wasnt as bad as Sup Forums made it out to be. I do wish the neomorph was the main enemy instead of the xenomorph.

They seemed way more scary and spooky

I REALLY WISH the final boss was the Deacon from Prometheus.

Would have been awesome to see a fully grown one and it being just as big as the xeno in this film (It would have made more sense too since it came from an engineer which are big as fuck)

I really liked amy seimetz

Severely underrated post.

I was very broadly offering apologetics for 'le stupid character' trope found in cinema/television. The crux of the argument is that human behavior, especially abnormal psychology, is predictably unpredictable and not very well understood. That's why in a murder trial, especially one with a person with a dubious motive, a court can have to Psy.D present polar opposite opinions on the alleged person's behavior. Basically the field is more-or-less the same as it was 50 years ago, meaning in the Stone age. We're too far removed from a 'Miniority Report' revolutionary breakthrough in neuroscience, so until then, psyfags are just one step-removed from astrology fags.

I guess my claim is, human behavior is not very well understood. Shitposters are stupid for just reguritating 'TVtropes' and saying 'Yeah, I would never do that!' -- no you don't know that; shut up.

David killing Shaw was a mistake -- David is another cliche charater now.

can we get back to discuss what really matters?

just look at her. so beautiful and classy.

this was the biggest turd i have ever seen. bombed prometheus and bombed the original alien at the same time + was a shit movie with laughably shit CGI characters and an extremely cliche idiotic plot.

the first neomorph grew from like 30cm to 60cm in what, 2 minutes? that was just terrible, theres no excuse for that.

>make a point of showing that walter is a vastly improved model of david
>he loses the fight offscreen to an insane malfunctioning trashcan

what did they mean by this?

>>member cameron's depiction of how the aliens should act? well we do that here hehe

The worst part of this is that they also came at the humans one at a fucking time. The aliens in Aliens were easy to kill and dumb, but at least they had the power of numbers to make them seem intimidating. When you take a single member out of a swarm it's the least threatening thing ever.

Thing is he hesitates in that scene like he's considering what Davis is saying before saying fuck it and shooting the damn thing

Shut the fuck up retard

>weapons improve combat abilities exponentially

I dont think most of those are plot holes either. Just autists looking to lash out.

Most of it can definitely be explained easily or off-camera

You deserve it for acting like a fucking moron

>jesus is every poster going to say the same criticisms every thread?

Are you trucking stupid? what kind of question is that. The movie if out already nothing will change it unless they release a revised version.

> Stanford Prison Experiment
Die

Honestly the whole plot was kinda thrown out the window they decided to go to the unknown planet because fuck company policy lmao