Rate your country's allies

Great allies:
Australia
Poland

Good allies:
Japan
South Korea
Estonia

Meh:
Canada

Better off without these useless cunts:
Rest of the EU
UK
Israel

>good
east-timor

>meh
england

>better off without these cunts
spain (fuckers never do their part of the deals nowadays)
rest of CPLP (former colonies, only export corruption)
USA (dishonorable beyond compreention; 4/12/1980 never forget)

Great allies
France

Useless allies
Everyone else

what did we do to you in 1980?
besides isn't it just your country's history to get fucked over by your allies, like the English did to you with the Pink Map

t. Bruce Kowalczyk
t. Tyrone Dessalines

>Great allies:
US of A
the UK
>Good allies:
France
NZ
Australia
Canada
Turkey
Greece
Belgium
The Netherlands
Colombia
Luxembourg
South Africa (not the one after Apartheid)
The Philippines
Ethiopia (before abdication of the emperor)
Thailand
>meh:
all other NATO countries
Taiwan
Japan

Good:
everyone except israel

Bad:
Israel

We don't have any allies

how can UK at the bottom?

>Close as kin:
Australia, Canada, New Zealand
>Distant relations, trade partners:
France, Germany, Europe in general
>Exploitative overlord, destroyed the empire, slowly colonising us in an ironic reversal, "special relationship":
USA

>Exploitative overlord, destroyed the empire, slowly colonising us in an ironic reversal, "special relationship":
USA
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh care to elaborate?

No,we never got fucked up by our allies since our only allies in history were the uk

>>Exploitative overlord, destroyed the empire, slowly colonising us in an ironic reversal, "special relationship":
You should be upset with the French, not us.

You seriously not aware of UK-US relations? It's the saddest shit you'll ever read about. The media churns out propaganda promoting the special relationship whenever it's relevant, but the reality is the UK's been on an American leash since WW2.

>Brothers:
NZ
>Family:
Britain
Burgerland
>OK with:
the rest
>Gas immediately:
c*ina
i*donesia

How is the UK leashed more so than let's say France or Germany? 2bh I always thought of the US as being a continuation of the empire 2bqh, and in either case, it's not even cool being a citizen of an "empire". I mean it's not like I'm the emperor, that's for damn sure.

Great Allies
Belarus

Good Allies
Kazakhstan
Armenia

Better off without these useless cunts:
Others stans

no china?

>Great
USA

>Good
New Zealand
Canada

>Meh
Dunno, Japan?

>Left us to alone to get NIPPON BANZAID in WW2
UK

...

>the reality is the UK's been on an American leash since WW2.
Literally nothing wrong with this.

no allies, but Im so meaningless in the entire world that the nukes will drop and I will be having a cold one while teh world collapses around me.
feels good

I'll give you the three big ones. WW2, The Suez crisis, and the Falklands.

In WW2 for American aid, we had to pay for it all, up front, in gold. And when the gold began to run out, it was in foreign currency and securities; then through the forced liquidation of British assets in North America at knock-down prices; then the surrender of our patents and royalties for our inventions, such as radar and jet engines; finally it was territory. When old Joe Kennedy advised that a British surrender was “inevitable”, FDR wanted British bases in the Caribbean, Bermuda, and Newfoundland. Churchill handed those over in exchange for obsolescent small arms and 50 mothballed destroyers – and FDR was loathe even to give us these.

Enter the Suez crisis. No explanation needed. Swift castration of Britain and France, humbled and made to become little more than pawns for American corporations and media.

Then the Falklands. A formerly uninhabited bunch of rocks off the coast of Latin America, settled by Britons before Argentina was even a concept. Clearly a scapegoat used to rally Argentinians by their military at the time. Yet the Americans, now sole superpower of the world and international policeman, remain intensely neutral. This is after we started obeying your every wish and demand by the way. Terrible ally. Effective overlord.

10/10 post.
Friends don't let friends be friends with Americans.

We are "strategic partners" not allies.

Ch*na isn't our ally.

>Family
UK, Australia, New Zealand

>Friends
most NATO countries

>Friends, but lost their way
US

>Nope
Turkey

good:
japan, uk, and israel
bad:
everyone else

AHAHAHAHA should have given us no taxation without representation fucko

He's always creating these threads slagging off the UK.

they all hate us and salivate at the thought of our downfall. we got no allies bro

>Great Allies:
...

>Good Allies:
...

>Meh:
Brazil? Maybe?

>Better off without these useless cunts:
USA, Canda.

>USA, Canda.
Aren't they your main trade partners?

Sorry Britbro. Wish I could do something about the way my country treats our allies

You told Obama to fuck off when he wanted a war with Syria a few years ago and it pretty much killed both his hopes for an invasion as well as the oppressive American overlord meme. Keep your shitty victim complex attitude in the Blair years where it belongs.

Greatest ally
Israel
Other allies:
None

Yes, they pay us peanuts to build them low-quality equipment to them which their companies sell them at high prices and then they blame all their problems on us.

With the other, they put mining companies that violate all workers right that they couldn't violate in their "snowy paradise" and disregard all environmental legislation because our States are too weak and corrupt to stop them.

top tier:
america
new zealand

decent:
uk

shit:
everything else

Israel is everybodies ally.

our money singlehandedly built your middle class building our shit. shut your bitch ass up

stop raping us

>everybodies

France is literally one of our shittiest allies. Got us roped in to Vietnam then pulled out, didnt help in Iraq, then begged us to help them with Libya.

we don't really have any allies. china pretends that they are russia's allies to buy gas from russia for lower prices, syria (syrian government to be correct) just uses russia to fight for their interests, belarus gets lots of benefits and financial support from russia, armenia and azerbaijan need russia only to help keeping their confilicts from escalation and so on.
it sounds insane but literally the only countries that could potentially be our actual, genuine allies are north korea and maybe (MAYBE) iran.

>Falklands

We actually fed you guys intel during that war. We didn’t help more than that because you were breaching the Monroe Doctrine which actually obligated us to help Argentina, but we stayed neutral because we like you guys. If it was any other country fucking around in the New World, we would have immediately sided with Argentina.

Everyone is a friend, except Israel.

Syria?

>you were breaching the Monroe Doctrine
No they weren't. They were defending British sovereign territory from an invasion, not taking control of Argentina

They weren’t even supposed to have that land in the first place if we were actually adhering to the Monroe Doctrine. We just look the other way when it comes to the UK and to a lesser extent France.

so you're saying you'd be justified in invading the British Caribbean, French Guyana or Suriname right now even though they were established before your doctrine was made?

Great allies:
Estonia


Better off without these useless cunts:
sw*Doids

It's funny how this doesn't even begin to touch the surface of how bad it is. Like when we gave away all our nuclear secrets for nothing and afterwards the Americans just slammed the door in our face

>so you're saying you'd be justified in invading the British Caribbean, French Guyana or Suriname right now even though they were established before your doctrine was made?
Can we do this guys?

They didn't tell you to "Fuck off." Cameron did his masters bidding and brought a vote before Parliament for the invasion. Not to mention The French and everyone else was loathe to go to Syria after how badly mismanaged The Libyan invasion was.

They were good allies for the first 50 years

According to the UN, yeah kinda. It’s a violation of UN regulations by holding on to non-official state territories. We’re actually breaching this ourselves with Puerto Rico.

We (US, UK, and France) won WW2 though, so we can do whatever we want.

The Monroe doctrine has nothing to do with the idea of The UN's egalitarian ideas of national self determination. It's pure imperialism, much the same as why those Caribbean territories are part of the commonwealth.

The only reason we never pushed out Britain and France from the new world was because by the time we we’re actually strong enough to take them on, we started allying them in World Wars. We pushed out Spain because they were weak ass bitches.

Great Allies:
Australia

Good Allies:
The United Kingdom, Canada, The United States, Korea, Taiwan, Japan, Vietnam, Chile, Argentina

Meh:
France, Germany, Most of the EU,

Useless Allies:
Pacific Banana Republics, China

It was before the World Wars. The War of 1812 put paid to taking Canada, and of course Britain's empire was at its height in the 19th century. It was only after the Philippine–American War and Cuba that America retreated from isolationism and began to have imperial ambitions of its own.

In the early 20th century you were already strong trading partners with the British & French. Attempting an invasion of their carribbean territories would have been detrimental to the both of you, even before you were wartime allies.

Yeah, I remember receiving and installing an IBM raid controller batteries at my previous workplace. I noticed the writing "Assembled in Mexico" on them. When my senior noticed me being all "wtf?", he pointed out a mark that said something along the lines of "very hazardous manufacturing" (I don't really remember how it went).
Like, shits' so vile and toxic that even chinese wouldn't want to handle it, so let Mexico do it.

>our actual, genuine allies are north korea and maybe (MAYBE) iran.
Just go fuck yourself. You started with materialist pragmatic descriptions of others but these guys are in same category as well.
Only real ally is Belarus, Yea Lukashenko only want gibs but people are /ourguys/ unlike all those other shitholes you mentioned.

>not a single ANZAC rates us as top-tier
;__;

>give up in Singapore, leaving us alone and open to invasion
>don't do shit for us
>spurn us for the EU

Hmm yeah wonder why England's not at the top anymore

>Just go fuck yourself. You started with materialist pragmatic descriptions of others but these guys are in same category as well.
that's why i said potential you brainless vatnik imbecile. those are the only countries that somehow oppose the western/american hegemony, so at least they may share a common idea with russia unlike the rest of those countries including belarus.
>Only real ally is Belarus, Yea Lukashenko only want gibs but people are /ourguys/
no, they aren't. you should leave your mother's basement some time and look around so you'd stop being so delusional. most belarusian youth (don't know and don't really care about the older generation) absolutely love the EU and se russia, especially its government as literally the only factor that doesn't let them integrate into the european sphere.
>all those other shitholes
those "shitholes" aren't much worse than belarus in terms of living standards (except for syria of course), and not even that much worse than russia itself lel

>Great allies:
None
>Good allies
None
>Meh
None
>Better off without these useless cunts
Every Nato/EU Member

>Great allies:
Canada
>Good allies:
Germany
USA
>Meh:
Belgium and Luxemburg
>Better off without these useless cunts:
UK

Its good to see a bong aware of their relations with america after seeing hundreds sucking america's (and trump's) dick after Brexit. I fully understand the reasons for some of them to want to leave the EU but the way they just throw themselves at americas arms after everything the have done was just... sad. Specially with a President whose fucking motto was "America First". I hope we can reach an agreement so that the uk doesnt have to whore itself to america again.

>Only true ally
Spain senpai

We love everybody

>Great allies:
Flanders
Netherlands
Czechia

>Good allies
Small EU countries

>Meh
France
Germany

>Better off without these useless cunts
/

Great allies:
Canada
UK

Good Allies:
Japan
SK
Australia

Meh:
EU
South Africa

Enemies:
USA
France
China

so get the fuck out here you fat nigger, GET THE FUCK OUT OF EU

t. aviANO

We're literally and objectively the best allies you have

>Tax us higher
>Give us no benefits/medicare
>Try to fuck us on study fees
>Deport criminals back to us
Face it, you don't give a flying fuck about the ANZAC spirit anymore.
You've given away all sense of comradeship with your sister country for a few extra dollars.

You're a fucking retard, every single non-citizen has the exact same except kiwis actually are given plenty of benefits beyond every other non-Australian, including the English. It wasn't even that long ago that you could come over here and claim government benefits. You can also freely migrate here without needing a visa for study and to get away from your meme island with a whopping 2 million people and get a better job with a better growth prospects.

As a hierarchy it goes
1. Australians
2. New Zealanders
3. Everyone else

To say we ditched you is fucking laughable. The history of our two countries is actually New Zealand ditching Australia over and over again. Look at federation, your chimp out over ANZUS (which you could do because you knew the Big Strong Australians would be in the firing line first and you could hide behind us) etc

Honest Q how is Australia a 'great' ally to the US?

thanks for proving my point

Good thing it doesn't matter anymore, there is literally no reason to move to Australia anymore.
Between the absurd living cost, higher tax rates and no benefits it's more economically viable to stay here.

The whole idea is that we are supposed to be close knit nations, but we are second class people in Australia whilst Australians are treated as kin in New Zealand.
That is the difference.
But you've pulled away any semblance of that connection and we will have to reciprocate in due time.

It's truly a shame.

We're literally their most loyal ally in the entire world. Australia follows America into every single armed conflict they have entered since the world wars and is the only country to have done so. We also let them maintain a military presence here and our foreign policy basically boils down to "do whatever America tells us to do".

Mong

Cunt, go bend over backwards for the liberal party, Murdoch and America.

We are all laughing over here.

Argentina and Uruguay I guess? Chile and Colombia are on good relations but not quite allies, Mexico is just a trading partner, Paraguay and Bolivia pray to Pachamama for our downfall, Venezuela is poison and the USA is much more powerful than us to call an ally.

We all know that mate, your entire national identity is built around an inferiority complex towards Australians while we literally could not give the slightest fuck about you

Mi Familia: Canada, UK, Australia, NZ

Bretty Good: The entirety of Western Europe

Idgaf: Japan, SK

Better off without them: Israel

still remember when kiwis told the seps to take their nuclear boat and shove it up their cunt
thought i couldn't love them more than i already did

>the entire Australian personality is based around being bigger than a small island in the south pacific
>literally a continent
:thinking:

Hmm I remember saying the opposite

>Part of 4th Reich

European Union + Norway

>New Axis

Russia
South American nazi descendants

>Neutral (surprise anschluss option)

Switzerland
Liechtenstein
Monaco
San Marino (13:0 never forget)

>Military collaboration possible (Molotov 2.0)

China
Saudi Arabia

>Rest of world

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