Post Simpsons jokes that make you laugh every time

Post Simpsons jokes that make you laugh every time

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youtube.com/watch?v=W8imsr2WmEg
youtube.com/watch?v=y1zfWXYuWD0
youtube.com/watch?v=US4wqH2oMR8
youtu.be/W2GBloYQ36A
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

It's like I'm wearing nothing at all!

Nothing at-

Well you know.

La cumbancha volante

THE JAPANESE!?

Back to Winnipeg.

>Smithers, I'm beginning to think Homer Simpson is not the brilliant tactician I made him out to be...

>did you find the bathroom alright?
>....yes.

>Groundskeeper Willie: Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her.
>Shary Bobbins: It's good to see you, Willie.
>Groundskeeper Willie: [angry] That's not what you said the FIRST time you saw me!

I used to have a gif of it but the bit where Burns remembers crippling someone with a bumper car when he was a child and he can't stop laughing about it.

got u covered famalam

Know that on this day, and until the end of days, that you truly are my nigga.

>... Batman's a scientist.
>IT'S NOT BATMAN!

I can't believe that I didn't get this until it was written out.

>Don't! Be! So! Stubborn!
>We're not talking about a FEW dollars.
>We're talking about a few THOUSAND dollars!

When Skinner uses Bart's telepathy to deliver a moral sermon or something.
Then Homer uses Bart's telepathy to sing the meow-mix song

> I've been working on the railroad!
> Homer, why are you singing that?
> Because it's in the public domain.

That's one of my favorites from zombie Simpsons. I never got to watch golden era because I wasn't born until 92, and then my Moral Guard Dog of a grandmother refused to let me watch it. I'd buy the DVD sets, but eh. Not sure what to watch and what to skip.

Oh no! My boys a box..........MY BOYS A BOX!!!!

DAMN YOU, A BOX!!!!!!!!!!

>I sleep in a racing car, do you?
>I sleep in a big bed with my wife

This vision was brought to you by your brain, a subsidiary of your penis.

They play classic simpsons all the time on FXX

>hello smithers, you're quite good at turning me on
>uh, you should probably just ignore that

youtube.com/watch?v=W8imsr2WmEg

I fell on the floor laughing when this originally aired.

Brothers and Sisters are natural enemies.
Like Englishmen and Scots.
Or Welshmen and Scots.
Or the Japanese and Scots.
Or Scots and Other Scots.
Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland.

How many times do they show Bart using his telepathy? I can think of three, but one was a THoH episode.

>Who'll provide for me littl' ones?
That's when I burst out laughing.

(Apu is being robbed at gunpoint by Snake as the Simpsons walk in and quickly back out)
(he whispers to Homer, who whispers back)
>Call the police...
>I don't have any change. Whats the cheapest thing you have?
>Small bag of chips. Five dollars.
>Five dollars? What a rip off! Someone should shoot you!

I'm a poorfag who doesn't have cable. My cat's vet bills (when necessary), phone bill (phone poster, btw), rent, and food take up most of my money, and whatever's left over, I usually use on movies/games

Like every streaming site ever has the Simpsons. Just don't be lazy.

Marge, I have some horrible, BONE-CHILLING news!

One thing that never stopped being done well was weight jokes

>"I know you can hear my thoughts, Bart. if I found out you skipped school, your ass is mine. Yes, that's right; I think words I would never say."

>"I know you can hear MY thoughts, boy. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow."

well its funny, he is fat.

Fat jokes are pretty easy to write it seems

I'll admit I laugh more at the audacity of the writers/animators sneaking this one in than at the joke itself, but hey: a laugh is a laugh.

...

>It's a pornography store
>I was buying pornography

>LISA LIKES NELSON
>She does not
>MILHOUSE LIKES LISA
>He does not
>JANEY LIKES MILHOUSE
>She does not
>UTER LIKES MILHOUSE
>Nobody likes Milhouse!

The sheer comedic timing, simplicity yet brilliance of this exchange has astounded me for years.

Youre superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!

>Why did I bring the baby and the dog to the poison store?!

similar joke when homer tries to buy illegal fireworks from apu.

>Yeh've got the shinnin'!
>Don't you mean shini-
>SHHH! D'ye want to get sued?

...

20 dollars can buy many peanuts

WHY MUST I FAIL AT EVERY ATTEMPT AT MASONRY?!

Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?


No!
>BZZZ!
Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't kill him!
>DING!


Checks out. Okay sir, you're free to go.


Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight!
>BZZZ!
A date.
>BZZZ!
Dinner with friends.
>BZZZ!
Dinner alone.
>BZZZ!
Watching TV alone!
>BZZZ!
Alright! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog!
>BZZZ!
... Sears Catalog.
>DING!
Now would you unhook this already, please!? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!
>BZZZ!

Kisscartoon you faggot

Explain how!

I know "Kill the Alligator and Run" isn't a popular episode, but I think it had a few good gems.

>"NO LISTENIN'. You hear me?"
>"Uhh...no?"
>"You just don' learn, do yeh?"

>we got a tip from an anonymous neighborino

This is my favorite Zombie Simpsons moment.

Can you believe such a well remembered moment is from season 19?

Moore and Bart's exchange is golden too.

It'll never last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies... like Englishmen and Scots... or Welshmen and Scots... or Japanese and Scots... or Scots and other Scots! Damned Scots! They ruined Scotland!!

>You Scots sure are a contentious bunch

YOU JUST MADE AN ENEMY FOR LIFE!

Money, can be exchanged for goods and services

Their teacher delivering that final line is what made it comedy gold

WOO HOO!

>El baby shower the Gabriela sera interrumpido por terroristas, con resultados sexuales.
youtube.com/watch?v=y1zfWXYuWD0

"Look Smithers, Gaaahbo is coming"

Despite the episode it's from
>And I'm not Seymour. My name is Armin. This is Armin's apartment, Armin's liquor, Armin's copy of Swank, Armin's frozen peas.
>Can I see your copy of Swank, Armin?

BOMBARDMENT

I've actually used this bit to mock a particularly cross German I ran into.

Homer's conversations with his brain were the best:

>Homer: Who called all these weird places?!
>Brain: Quiet, it might be you! I can't remember!
>Homer: No, I'm gonna ask Marge!
>Brain: No, no! Why embarrass us both? Just write a check and I'll release some more endorphins...
>Homer: Aaaah~

Any season before mid-2001 is good.

Dont know the exact lines but its when either Bart or Lisa asked Marge a question

>Well your uncle always had a saying "Shoot them all and let god sort them out". Heheheh....Unfortunately one day he decided to put it to the test. It took 15 federal agents to take him down. Now lets NEVER talk about it again. *Goes back to humming and washing dishes*

Sometimes Marges dry delivery works so well

>Sometimes Marges dry delivery works so well

Well, her delivery nowadays is dryer than ever.

Seriously, her voice sounds like the one she used to use for Marge's mother.

It's the episode where Quimby's nephew is accused of attacking a waiter, and Bart witnesses the event and knows he's innocent.
He asks Marge in a vague hypothetical if he should testify even if he knows the suspect in question isn't a good person.

>Brain: You can't tell them you were at a bar. But what other place is open at night?

>Homer: I was at a pornography store! I was buying pornography!

>Brain: Heheh. I never would have thought of that.

>explain how!
>money can be exchanged for goods and services.
>Wohoo!

I can't laugh at The Simpsons because it's before my time and I've already heard all the jokes in other programs that took them from The Simpsons.

I'd say this is more a problem with you than it is with the show

I never said it was a problem with the show.

...

>"Ugh you can stay but I'm leaving"
>Homer falls over while Flanders is still talking about cider

my point still stands

You never had a point.

This is correct

>There's a crippled boy in the hospital who wants you to win. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.
>I hope they win, or else Mr Burns said he's coming back

>Gaaahbo
He says Garbo. It's a joke about how old he is. He thinks famous 20s/30s actress Greta Garbo is coming to town.

"Dad! You killed zombie Flanders!"

"He was a zombie?"

Also this scene:
youtube.com/watch?v=US4wqH2oMR8

Favorite Simpsons gag, Sup Forums? Pic related

Buenas noches mein fuhrer

>you never had a point
>factors that have nothing to do with the Simpsons keeps me from enjoying Simpsons
fuck off

youtu.be/W2GBloYQ36A

Ach! Ein vagenfone ist ein... "nuisance"-fone!

...

900 DOLLARYDOOS?!
TOBIAS!
DID YOU ACCEPT A 6 HAUR COLLECT CALL FROM THE STATES?

BARTDOYOUWANTSOMEBROWNIESBEFOREYOUGOTOBED!?!?

...

You cant be the the hulk!
IM THE HULK!!

Ooooooooh, Giiiiiym!

"I really did it once!"

>I really did it once.

>Oh, please. You couldn't even turn into Bill Bixby.

Literally every 90's era Simpsons episode is good. Even a lot of the early-mid 2000's episodes are good too. The show didn't really become Zombie Simpsons until just a few years ago. Even then, there's still decent episodes here and there.

Yes yes i Just wish you had the power to leave my store.

Almost had it there

I dont get it, every time someone remember this bit, i never get it. Whats the joke? This is the Tomacco episode right?

Pero señor-

It's Sneed's Feeds and Seeds, but it was formally Chuck's. In that case, the name must've been Chuck's.....

Chucks Fucks and Sucks

>Now, this technology is new to me, but I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly.
>His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees - he's literally stewing in his own juices.

Im a fucking idiot. Please someone kill me for being blind and retarded

"This is the nicest thing anyone ever..."
"SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP! MY CAR!!!"

the delivery's always so perfect that it will never fail to make my smile

so look at the words on that sign. The letters stayed the same at the start of the words, but rhyme with the owner's name

the implication is that it was Chuck's Fuck and Suck

to be fair, it took me a while

That's what makes it so good. Don't even sweat it.

Dije suba