Theater hammocks are full

>theater hammocks are full

>there's a couple sitting on your favorite movie futon

>Picked as tribute for the popcorn games

>Robert has the night off
>My GF keeps talking over my DC kino

>forgot to dab after the film ended
>banned for life

>show up to Kinoplex when it's not during Robert's shift
>got my wife all dolled up for nothing

>S-sorry Lane, I lost my ticket stub when I went to get a bucket of kinolegs
>'That's OK, I ripped your ticket earlier, you were the guy with mustard on your shirt haha!'
>T-thanks Lane

>they were out of crab legs

>they are out of soy sauce popcorn flavor packs

>theater showers are coed

lol nice is this one of those threads where we pretend outlandish things happen at the local theatre like having showers and popcorn mines?
lmao put me in the screencap

>arrive early to get a good seat
>the singles penis inspectitron is broken so they have to get the janitor to do the inspections
>6 other singles in front of me
>fucking retard has to keep checking the manual to see what to do next
>47 minutes I get my inspection cleared
>it's already 11 minutes past the movie airing time
>get to my screening room
>can already hear the previews
>fucking fuming that I might of missed a cool movie preview
>the theater is jam packed looks like it's a full house
>on the verge of tears that there isn't a seat left
>notice a perfect seat right the center
>get to it
>the fucking seat is missing, only the back is there
>have to lean awkwardly against the backing to prop myself up the whole film
>can't sit or squat or else I can't see the screen

They actually serve crab legs at my local movie theater.

>accidentally walk into the staff room where Robert is balls deep inside Lane and Jules is masturbating furiously in the corner

>anal stretchers are no longer free with every falcon

>some retard brought their screaming child into the kinoplex
>all out of tranquilizer darts
>had to pay $2.50 a minute to borrow the expandable police batons

last time that happened i was so glad to be friends with the designated shooter

>be amerigun
>get heartattack

is there a stock photo of this scenario?

You're trying to hard to be contrarian. A much more effective way would be to type up a long green text that is humorless and without a punchline and just wastes people's time.

robert is a christian man, he wouldn't accept sex outside of marriage

>the flashlight midget stabs me in the shin with a popcorn toothpick
Really pissed me off considering when I went to get one they were all out and I hate getting kernels getting stuck in my teeth.