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>Do you hear that Peter? Our race's extinction? The colored roaming our streets? The zipper heads feeding our children? The wetbacks! The Wetbacks taking OUR jobs, our health care? Do you hear it, Peter? You know what get the fuck out of my car.

>Peter... your father was Italian

>Peter.... I am Italian. I mean, I look like one. How could you have not been suspicious?

>listen peter, with great power comes great responsibility. Look at those krauts during the war, they knew what they had to do and tried their god damned best. remember peter, if you ever are in a house that has a showerhead with eleven holes you're in good company.
>b-but what does the shower have to do with anything, obergruppenfuhrer ben?
>the kikes have ten fingers, my boy. for now...

How did they get away with it?

different time

Raimi really knows how to write thought-provoking dialogue

>for god's sake Peter i killed so many gooks in Vietnam you'd think their entire race would be finished by now but look at the streets! they're like fucking roaches! Unless we cleanse this country the white race is doomed! kill them all Pete...oh right that's the burger joint i told you about, let's eat shall we

>t-the elm tree Peter

>remember Peter, at least six loops for a hangmans noose. you don't want that nigger thrashing about and getting loose.

The best meme ever created, hands down.

>Get out of the way Pete, I'm trying to watch the show

Crazy to think this was filmed before 9/11.
How did Raimi know?

>He was white, Peter..
>All these years protesting the Civil Rights Act, and one of my own gets me
>Was I wrong boy?
>Uncle Ben-he-he looked Italian
>Oh Peter, thank you..
>[Uncle Ben dies smiling]
Powerful stuff.

>Whoa! He stole that guy's pizza faster than I could!

>Are you afraid I’m going to turn into some kind of liberal, Uncle Ben? Quite worrying about me, okay? Something’s different, I’ll figure it out. Stop lecturing me please.
>Pete, I don’t mean to lecture and I don’t mean to preach, and I know I’m not your Fuhrer –
>THEN STOP PRETENDING TO BE!
Fuck...

>Your Aunt May, God bless her soul, is nothing but a woman, Peter. Don't ever ask her for advice, unless you're planning on cooking a roast beef or cleaning the toilet. Do you get me, Peter?

>mfw one of my raimi posts became pasta, and nobody will ever know it was me.

Sorta bittersweet, lads.

Imagine being the guy that created "Ben looks directly at the camera"

same. it's one of the less popular ones but I see it going around every now and again and feel a little bit of pride

you should feel proud user

you know what's worse? the fact that you created a meme, a long ago, but can't remember which one.

>He stinks like a nigger and I don't like him!

that one flew over my head as a kid

>Peter... You know what makes me sad I'm not young anymore? Niggers who can vote, muslims who blow up white kids, women who aren't scorned for having bastard abominations, red flags in the streets, the smell of FUCKING CURRY in the air, Peter, I am so GODDAMN fucking sad I can't end every single one of the threats to America twice and again... Kill, kill, kill!

>ywn be the guy that created 'I like to pee on ants'

lil Jimmy single handedly ushered in the era of capeshit

>Nippon Stong! Nippon Strong!
>Imperial Japan do nothing wrong
>Rape of Nanking?
>No such thing!
>American lies
>Swarm like flies
>NO TRUTH!
>Japan did nothing wrong!

What did Raimi mean by this?

I created The Expanse pasta and I'm universally hated by that community. Why do I go on.

..........Beter

Raimi really excells at bringing urban struggles such as these into the spotlight.

>I remember 9/11. Sat right at that window and watched people on the top floor take swan dives. Took bets on how many would wind up looking like a spilled lasagna. I shit you not... I was only two jumpers away from winning the office pool. Then the damn thing collapsed. Anyway, let's get back to Spider-Man.

I still don't understand why they had to bring up the event again in form of comedy. Rami is one sick fuck.

>A word to the not-so-wise about your little girlfriend; do what you need to with her, then broom her fast! That's all they're good for harry. Women will follow you as far as you can provide what they've become "accustomed to," and then they'll kick you to the curb. Never get attached to a woman, son. I made that mistake with your mother; when stock prices took a dip, I found her doing coke off of some yuppie stockbrokers cock on 5th avenue. As I was wrapping their body parts in plastic, and stuffing them into an overnight bag, I realized there was a better way; Just pump and dump harry. Avoid the kike-controlled-courts that will force you to pay for her ride on the cock carousel, and use her for what she is; an easily replaceable hole.

Anyone remember that one from the directors cut? Dafoe reputedly almost quit because of that scene. Raimi convinced him to stay saying "it makes sense in the context of the full movie" and he relented.

I've seen the directors cut many times; not sure what Raimi was going for...

We need one of these but for raimiposting

>"Fly web! Up up and away web! Sieg heil!"

Don't know what that last one had to do with getting his web to shoot out but alright.

Ben?

how come he had a camera filming from inside the plane?

>tfw i invented the greentext and nobody knows

i created one of the best memes on /fit/ and everyone thinks that post was genuine till today

New one. Nice

>Peter, stop masturbating with your headphones in. I walk in on you almost every week to you molesting yourself to what I can only assume is mexican tranny porn. Start acting like a normal kid and masturbate outside the window of your 7/10 neighbor girl. Take some video one time to blackmail her with. That's how I married your aunt.

That is preposterous my good sir.

Really? I heard that whole scene was adlibbed by Dafoe

Was it egg-related?

The scene was filmed during 9/11...
It was real

>Peter... I'm going to die.
>I just want you to know me and your Aunt are very proud of what a smart young gentleman you have become.

i think raimi delegated this part of the dialogue to someone else.

>Peter, all non-whites are mud people. They have no souls and it's okay for the pure ones like us to take them out of their misery.

Was that Improvised?

Someone post that new one about the jew spider biting us all. It's a modern classic IMO

You need structure.

Maaaaan, I remember cruisin' Sup Forums (back then we called it "slash b") looking for the freshest memes. Rickrolling, advice animals, rage comics, greentexts... it seemed like the world was our oyster. Like the memes would never stop flowing.
It's all changed now, the meme game. "The Only Game" as my good friend Brad Dunwhittey called it (rip in piece, bro). Memes aren't just something Joe Schmo can take a look at and understand. Memes require an in-depth understanding and appreciation of film to truly "get". Kino, capeshit, waifu-core... it doesn't matter what your taste is, each meme has to be hand-crafted by dedicated artisans to truly deliver that dank experience.

Sometimes I miss those old days...

A+

*slow claps*
*steps out of the shadows*
Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...
But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.
And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :^). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.
See you on the boards...

Memes truly are the greatest level playing field in comedy history.

You can really tell the difference between the high quality memes produced by Sup Forums (and other chans) artisans and the sort of low brow shit that passes as dank memes on reddit and the rest of the internet.

>you know what ray, my father always told me that no good deed goes unpunished. What he didn't know was, I was getting molested by the troop leader and all he gave me was a merit badge. I'm not afraid of you, Ray. that little badge you got there? Heh. To me it just means you got buttfucked as hard as I did. Caspere knew this.

The eyes remind me of a guy I knew in highschool. Yeah, I assfucked him. Why are you asking?
Did you seriously think even for a moment that this story wasn’t going to end with me fucking his ass? We’re obviously not working on a level of mutual respect here.
You see a fine ass like that, clothed or unclothed, you’re going to find a way to fuck it. You’ll figure out a way to lure it away from all the other asses in your classes. You’ll devise a plan to trap it in the locker room with you, watch it quiver a while in fear. You’ll relish pulling the pants and then underpants off of that ass, and then gently easing yourself into its puckered hole. You’ll cherish the memory of the long strokes you take, in and out of that ass, slowly working your way to climax. You’ll lose your mind in ecstasy as you climax deep into that ass, and then keep fucking it, pumping your own cum out of that ruined colon.
Anyways he’s a 6/10

>Uncle Ben I was bitten by a spider at a lab today
>In some ways, Peter, we've all been bitten by a spider. A horrible, thieving spider called the Jew that spreads its menacing web across the entire world and traps good, honest people like flies until it can suck them dry. Well Peter, if you ever catch that spider biting you then you know what to do....you reach for the bug spray.
Really great performances all around

>ten fingers
Jesus, Raimi

Haha, nice one kid! I like your moxie, I really do. You remind me of a younger me.
Back when I was just starting out on the boards, I would pull stunts like this all the time. Turn a meme on its ear. Try to be a "big guy" and impress the oldfags. It's completely normal.
But ya know what, kid? In time you'll come to learn that there's more to memery than simple tradition. There's great strength in it. Playing along with some OP's epic bait isn't something we do because we want to fit in. We do it because it weeds out the reddit fags and normies from the true memesmen of Sup Forums.
You stay around here long enough, kid, and you'll come to realize this. But for now, get out there, have some fun, and think about what I said.
And then read the first letter of each sentence of this post ;^)

how did he get away with this?

im crying

HIYBTTBITPWYBA?

Okay, friend. Okay.
You got me!
You got me over a barrel. You've got my wrists tied, you've got my ankles secured.
I'm not going anywhere.
What's that you're... oh. Oh you're pulling my pants down. Boxers, too.
That's fine. I won't struggle. Next you'll... ooh! Ooh that's cold! The lube! The lube you're rubbing on my asshole.
Hang on there a seco--oof!! Oh wow! Oh wow you're in my ass! Th-thrusting in and o-out!
I can f-feel you! Y-yeah I can f-feel you. You're whole l-length. I-in and o-out! I-it's good. H-hitting the sweet spot! Hitting m-my p-prostate!
OOOHH!! OOOOOHHH I'M GONNA CUM!!
*screams in ecstasy as you explode inside of me*

user don't do this to me i can't fap right now

>Dresses like a Klansman, he kills all the nigs, so we should all just stop race-mixin'....Look out! WEEEW, here comes the Spiderman!

I don't really know what Rami was going for here, I didn't appreciate the humor, as me and my wifes son were very offended by this.

Totally inappropriate for a family friendly summer flick about a comicbook superhero.

Tumblr pls go

I still don't know how the racist Rami meme started.

>don't tell your aunt may that I told you this peter, but remember the box in the attic I scolded you for playing with when you were a child? well peter, now that you're old enough you need to get that box, put on those medals, and go fight. i didn't strangle fifty sheeny meshuggas for nothing! embrace those oak leaves, wear them with pride, and finally stamp out international jewry once and for all! Heil Hitler!

Jej

Raimi-posting began with much more innocent types, like the classic Green Goblin

>The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout
>Out came the goblin to eat his asshole out!

Over time we had to get more and more shocking. I think RENT man telling story about war crimes opened the door to the more Sup Forums jokes

>always take your antibiotics peter. I remember this one time in manchuria. we infected this chink prostitute with the bubonic plague and had fifteen syphillitic convicts run a train on her. boy I tell ya son, I ain't seen a train that made me proud like that since dachau

Raimi posting is one of the top two memes. The other being baneposting.

>"You know, Peter, with great power comes great responsibility. Rudyard Kipling called it "White Man's Burden." Myself, I just call it as I see it: the reaponsibility of the master to discipline the servant."
>Ben looks directly at the camera.
>"The niggers, the spics, the chinks...It's our responsibility to civilize them. And if we can't? Then they shall dangle from the elm tree. The Day of the Rope is near, Pete. We'll have every nigger in this country dead or in chains in 10 years, and may God have me shot in a carjacking this very night if I'm wrong. God bless the American Nazi Party."
I felt uncomfortable in the theater.

can someone post the two decent ones from yesterday with the spider?

>i can't fap right now

And that's your opinion my man. I respect it. But that doesn't mean I have to accept it. But that does mean you have to accept this dick. I'm bending you over my coffee table and pulling your pants down. I'm lubing up your asshole and throwing out some bantz now. I'm inserting myself fully inside your anus, shoving deep into your rectum. Thrusting back and forth, in and out, grunting and sweating while you're moaning and bucking. Pretty soon I'll blow my load deep into your colon and we'll share a passionate kiss as I continue to fuck you, churning my milky cum into a sticky white froth.

>Uncle Ben I was bitten by a spider at a lab today
>In some ways, Peter, we've all been bitten by a spider. A horrible, thieving spider called the Jew that spreads its menacing web across the entire world and traps good, honest people like flies until it can suck them dry. Well Peter, if you ever catch that spider biting you then you know what to do....you reach for the bug spray.

>peter, don't let your aunt mays sickness worry you. she got infected with Jewry in college and hasn't been the same since. remember peter, for every nigger your aunt may slept with, I expect the scalps of ten burrheads to hang from the fenceposts as a warning to those coons

This really was beyond art

Post the "Fuck you, get out of my car" one

*slow claps*
*steps out of the shadows*
Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...
But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.
And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :^). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.
See you on the boards...

>uncle Ben, I-i feel different since that spider bite. I f-feel stronger, faster. Like I can do anything
>I used to feel that way too, son. After my careful upbringing in the Hitler youth and SS paratrooper school, I knew I could anything. Our first mission, they dropped us by air behind the lines into a synagogue. We beat those Christ killers to death with their own menorahs and strangled the children with our parachutes. May the spider silk you shoot from those strong Aryan wrists have such noble aim as mine, entangle those bolshevik rats and strangle them!

>Peter, I also had girl troubles when I was your age. I know how it feels, but don't worry, you can find a way to impress her. Did I ever tell you how I won over your aunt May? No? Well, we both met in this little national socialist club that ran downtown, but she never really gave a damn about me. She was obsessed with this tall, blonde haired, and blue eyed buck from Germany, Lars was his name, and I knew, every night when they went home together, he was pounding the the fury of the white race into that little aryan pussy. But one day, I did something that neither of us will ever forget. Across the street from the club was a small business ran by this little black guy named Samuel. Me and Sam had been friends all through elementary and high school before I had discovered the inferiority of the nigger, and we drifted apart, although I had no problems being away from that fucking ape. As we were leaving the club, and your aunt May was headed towards Lars' car, a ran across the street to Samuel who was sweeping outside his little shop, his pride and joy, he looked over joyed to see his friend again, hoping I had abandoned the tenants of racial supremacy and national socialism. He showed me the second biggest smile I'd ever seen, and gave an enthusiastic cry: "Ben!". That's when I took him to the ground, dragged him to the curb, set his teeth on it, and stomped his nigger head in. And that's when I saw the single biggest smile I've ever seen, on your aunt may, running across the street, tears in her eyes. She embraced me, and said it was the most ubermensch act she had ever witnessed, "It was beautiful" she cried as I held her in my arms, and then I took her right there, right on top of that nigger's corpse. So don't worry Peter, there's always a way to win a woman's love.

K I N O
I
N
O

*unzips pants*
awful optimistic of you, eh kid?
*forces you to your knees*
*tilts your face up and kisses it before shoving cock down your throat*
*facefucks you for 5-10 minutes, then lifts you onto the couch and puts you face down*
*starts to push cock into your ass*
*it curves up, presses against your prostate as it enters further and further*
*strokes your hair as you begin mumbling nonsense*
heh… you like that, do ya kid?
*you begin noticing details like balls slapping against your ass*
*firmly grabs your hips and slowly pumps in and out*
*starts fucking harder and harder until your yelping each time it’s slammed in to the hilt*
*you begin arching and pushing into it with each thrust*
*jerks you off*
*cum in unison*
h-heh… that was good… eh, kid?

top laff

Kekked, but that scene was too brutal for a children's movie.

...

Next time post your face and first name and people will know of your legacy

>And when the borderline is tau equals zero, the eigenvalues are? Someone, please!
>13% professor!
>Excellent work Parker! It's truly remarkable to think about.... only 13% and yet it accounts for 50% of all errors. You would want to remove something that problematic, wouldn't you Parker? As the brightest minds of our community, it is our burden to see fit that these errors are reduced to null..... and the sooner the better

I really hope someone makes a compilation of all of these posts and release raimiposting version of Man of Spiders.

>HEY FREAKSHOW
>YOU FORGOT MY DRINK
>HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT MY PIZZA WITHOUT MY DIET DR KELP

You know what this presentation reminds me of? Senegal. I don't even like diamonds, they are completely useless, but my wife loves them, so I bought a diamond mine in Senegal. I thought they just plucked them out of the ground like carrots, actually. The only mining experience I had was reading a Scrooge McDuck comic book when I was ten. As I found out, there was a lot of hard work involved, and the dusky inhabitants of the nearby village we had indentured into servitude were lazy and shiftless. As such, I was forced to instill discipline. As I told Kwambe, the overseer: "I don't care if he's ten, as long as he has at least one arm, he can still fucking hold a pickaxe!" As soon as I had the first child maimed, seven more tried to run off! With each tiny hand or foot lobbed off, more Senegal children would flee (at least as far as the crocodile swamp).

I was at a crossroads; I could keep mining diamond to please my wife, or stop mutilating children. Now, see, this is the difference between guys like you and guys like me: guys like me, we can have it all. I took the hands and feet of these children and boiled them to bone. I polished the bone and sold the resulting jewelry to women across the United States. They are hideous but people will buy them not because they like them but because they make a statement: "Kevin O'Leary murdered children so I can look good." As for the children who make it to the marsh, well, the crocodiles are well fed. Their skin makes excellent shoes and their meat is to be offered as Applebee's Kajun Kitchun Kombo CrocPoppers.

I think you lack this kind of innovation, the heart, and the passion to do what needs to be done for your business here. And for that reason I'm out.

>Look Peter, I know she's cute, but she has fucking red hair. I don't know who told you that the Irish were white, but it wasn't fucking me.
>I'm not going to think less of you for playing around with her, but for God's sake, Peter, keep it wrapped up. I don't want little mongrel Parkers running around the neighborhood, alright?

>Woah... he stole that guy's pizza! Webslinging busta beat me to it!

>The power of Auschwitz's ovens... in the palm of my hand

>listen here Peter, your aunt may told me you've been going through sheets quite a lot lately. I was your age too once, heh if you belive that, and I completely understand. it's hard keeping the robes clean dragging some chained up jungle bunny behind a pickup truck. but those robes must stay clean for it's the purity of the white robe that represents the purity of our race that we fight for. you go ahead and use all the sheets you need, my boy.

>Peter, look. You're changing. I know. I went through exactly the same thing at your age. I was a liberal to, for a bit, but you have to look at the facts
>Uncle Ben, I just think we should be more tolerant of migrants trying to make a better lif-
>Listen, Peter, this just isn't sustainable. We must be mad, literally mad, as a nation to be permitting the annual inflow of some 50,000 dependents, who are for the most part the material of the future growth of the immigrant descended population. It is like watching a nation busily engaged in heaping up its own funeral pyre. So insane are we that we actually permit unmarried persons to immigrate for the purpose of founding a family with spouses and fiancées whom they have never seen.
I don't know why Uncle Ben had a British accent there, and I think he got the numbers wrong, but that was a powerful scene

>mfw her character is so sweet and innocent it's hard to think up good alterations of her dialogue

Every 7 years on the sunset before the summer solstice, a particular mating ritual begins on the shores of my private lagoon hidden in the ancient seas of southeastern Thailand. It is here that hundreds, if not thousands, of tribesman and women from the local indigenous peoples begin fornicating in a ceremony that will last until their deaths. The Newport Beach Wine Society (of which I am a founder) hosts a large outdoor Bar-Be-Que festival on the green lawns of my spectacular residence during this magnificent event. One by one, each tribesman fornicates with a member of their tribe and attempts to wash themselves in the crystal clear waters of my lagoon. This coincides with the feeding patterns of a rare species of aggressive migratory turtle called Dermochelys O'learacea, which I discovered and sheltered in my travels as a young man. These beautiful creatures are consumed with fury at the scent of the tribesman's sexual residue and with incredible aggressiveness, begin to feed on the tribesman, the women, and their children. The blood from this magnificent event stains the waters of my lagoon bright red. In the aftermath of the carnage, my servant Ma'kikee'koAHko, the only known survivor of this event, brings to me a single Oreo cookie on a bone plate crafted from the remains of the largest and strongest tribesman. I lick the delicious cream filling from the inside of the cookie and toss the remainder into the lagoon, where the now-satiated Dermochelys O'learacea consume the creamless cookie biscuit. Right now you are the useless cookie biscuit. And for that reason, I'm out.