Why 'Baywatch' Drowned at the Box Office

>Not even Dwayne Johnson could save Baywatch from sinking like a rock in its big-screen debut.

FANS, we need to talk...

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guess it was a little too RAUNCHY for the critics

It's proven that critics are out of touch. The FANS know a romp raunchin' good time when they see it #pissjets

Name one good movie the rock has been in

I literally pissed my pants the entire movie. I had to get 50 refills on my soda to stay hydrated enough to keep peeing.

Baywatch is over.

Bury it.

We Wonder Woman now.

Consider this mercy.

Baywatch in theaters RIGHT now

Dwayne Johnson totally pissed the bed by picking this up.

>Why

No one wanted it

Look, the movie's doing fine. It made almost $20 million in the U.S. alone. I know the critics want to hate on it and knock us down, but this is for the fans and they're fucking loving it.

Thanks for showing your support guys, I know in many households this movie is going to become a Memorial Day staple.

t. jabronis

JUST WAIT FOR CHINA
ITLL SAVE IT

Gal Gadot is 178cm and with those heels she is probably like 6 foot 2. Hmmmgh

So what's the rock thinking about right now?

>in the U.S. alone

You said that as if anyone other than burgers give a fuck about this movie.

>JUST WAIT FOR CHINA

China doesn't allow R rated movies though unless they edit the shit out of it, also I think they only allow Disney, Dreamworks Animation and WB movies, so capeshit and animation, because they work close with the government

Gadot is cute as heck when she's not full skeltal mode.

cute

Looks like some jabronis need to check their candy asses into the smackdown hotel

I brought piss bottles to the theater so I could pour them on myself without having to waste even a second of #litty screentime on refills!

more like gaywatch

Honestly why did Baywatch fail though? It has brand recognition, the Rock, Efron and that big breasted chic as actor bait and a small budget. Did they fuck up the marketing or what? Seemed like one of those movies that make decent bank but are forgotten two weeks after release. What went wrong?

I was ankle deep in a piss-cum pastiche not halfway through the film. Saw a jabroni critic trying to walk out and he slipped facefirst into the muck #litty fistbumped my bros because I knew I was watching a rated R for REAL crowd pleaser

Because its a comedy but neither the Rock or Effron are funny, if they wanted the bro audience they needed to hire a good comedy sidekick.

That's a pity, the film was p. litty

>r rated movie
>male nudity
>no female nudity

hmmm

EVERYONE GO WATCH IT

MORE THEN ONCE IF POSIBOLE, WE NEED TO HELP OUR BROTHER OUT

The Rundown
Walking Tall
Doom
[spoilers]Baywatch[/spoilers]
Good flicks that critics just don't get ;D #litty

Black adam

Another great movie choice for /yourwaifu/ Daddario

Not long until she becomes desperate and gets plastic surgery

had a stressful week, pls enlighten me on the piss meme, where did it come from?

>Why 'Baywatch' Drowned at the Box Office

it drowned because of the sheer amount of PISS coming out of every ORIFICE in the theaters bro, RAUNCHY SUMMER FUN my dude

Reno 911 movie was funny, and he played his scene well.

Moana?

Well Said brother, you really GOT that this was a film for the fans, not those Homosexual poindexters who review movies! Almost Shit myself when I saw the dicks flop out. So lit

Why did you switch from metric to standard?

Or does RAUNCHY scenes again.

BUT THE TEST AUDIENCES. IT SCORED WELL WITH THE TEST AUDIENCES; ROTTEN TOMATOES IS IN THE WRONG. THE TEST AUDIENCES, OP

>roll to the theater with the boys
>pay to see the fresh new r-rated raunchy summer fun flick
>sit in your seats and proceed to piss with all your might until the whole theater is ankle deep in pure piss ammonia
>have a wicked sick time

It's that simple, critics are ignorant brainlets

lit if true

as long as wonder woman fails in the box office and proves to everyone that women arent protagonists, we're fine. and you reddit shitters will crawl back to your holes and stop pretending you're "winning"

It's true, bro. All of it.

Guess this means no Black Adam or Shazam flick :)

The only reason it "drowned" is because of the amount of piss in each and every cinema it was shown in.

>the combined star power of dwayne johnson and zac efron

lol

Pain & Gain. How the fuck does anyone hate that movie?

>le reddit comments
you're conditioned to participate in an echochamber

its quite obvious when you post

Their collective 'star power' has been spread across so many shitty movies that they should start calling it lightbulb power.

I can't believe they fucked up this bad.

Sup Forums's hate campaign backfired. I've never been more turned on by this Palestinian eradicator.

It's fucking terrible. What's the matter with you?

Drowned huh? I guess because the movie was so #litty and made people piss themselves with laughter! #baywatchberlin

Nobody but marvel shills hates WW

I want her to nibble on my foreskin

>Not long until she becomes desperate and gets plastic surgery

Id think she'd do porn first, hasnt she already been naked on camera?

You haven't even seen it, fatty. This is about Dwayne's new #litty+RAUNCHY movie, not your capeshit.

...

One of the Rock's tweets mentioned people pissing their pants from laughing so much at the raunchy comedy.

Numale cuck faggots couldn't spend mommy's $10 on a dude flick and saved it for a beat off fest courtesy of DC.

>lol look how clever we are with our puns, we might be blogger critics but please take us seriously!
so do they give any REAL reason why ot just more "clever" puns attempts?

Doesn't shit like this usually make money in the long run? They can't have spent much on it unless The Rock got greedy.

Rock apparently had a twitter meltdown last night.

More were posted on /fit/, wish I could've saved that thread.

Or.... They stopped making movies for white men so white men stopped going to the movies.

>Baywatch isn't for white men

"Men" by your definition.

Unironically FF7, probably because he wasn't in it for most of the movie

>pain and gain (enjoyable the first time, no rewatch value)
>the rundown (absolute kino)

>implying chinks don't enjoy everything that comes out of America.

lol this is the end of The Pebble's career

GET OUT, CAPESHITTERS! THIS IS A BAYWATCH THREAD! ONLY #LITTY BAYWATCH FANS ARE ALLOWED IN THIS THREAD!

kek

Adorable.

Baywatch has no brand recognition in China. Maybe if they confuse Baywatch with Michael Bay you could get them to watch it.

They forgot they had to cast attractive actresses

Dadarrio went nude for true detective so I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have any hang ups doing it for an r-rated comedy with super attractive people. Why didn't she do it? It might have saved Rocky some dignity.

he needs to back to being the rock, none of this dwayne shit

More than likely a Canadian. Canadians under the age of 35 are all bi-system. They even still make kids learn both.

Kill yourself, no one cares about that anorexic Jew whore.

It's Batman Vs Superman all over again, quality kino brought down by ignorant critics.

>all these DISCONNECTED critics ITT
The fans loved Baywatch. Non-stop thrillride packed with laughs and raunchy fun. A perfect R-rated summer romp.

>Baywatch killed The Rock's aspirations to run for president

The opening weekend it's going to have alone is going to make sure it won't fail

It was a movie catered to men with hot chicks in it.

Not one hot chick went topless.

That is why the movie failed.

AND IT WAS R-RATED

exactly if this had female nudity in it I would have seen it.

Instead, I heard on here it had full frontal male nudity. What where they thinking on this one, I am very disappointed in Dwayne Johnson.

Southland Tales, duh.
It's a fucking masterpiece.

>Critics just AREN'T getting it
My crew and I have been THIRSTY for a RAUNCHY R-Rated summer comedy, and man did BAYWATCH (TM) quench our thirst. It was #LITTY all up in the theatre. At least four people PISSED themselves from laughing, one of them being me. I started to piss and then my BROS were laughing so hard at me peeing combined with BAYWATCH (TM) that they ended up #PISSING and #SHITTING themselves. As we left the theatre the staff knew what was up and gave us all PLAYFUL WINKS. We all high-fived and then beat up some confused critics in the parking lot, for not liking BAYWATCH's (TM) raunchy R-rated comedy!

can they even show boobs in movies anymore?

Why the fuck would Baywatch be R-rated
The TV was show was bland and inoffensive as hell unless you were super desperate or super uptight

I like how Sup Forums is the only one jumping on the rock defending the movie.

Dude is probably contractually oblicated to promote the film and obviously wouldn't bash the film. He did his best to detract the viewers from the shit reviews but overall people know this movie is trash and completely worthless to even own or even rent this movie.

i keep reading this things in the rock's voice, makes it even funnier

Because it has full frontal male nudity.

That is what they thought bros would like.

Baywatch was all about the babes and machismo. Instead they rewarded the few people that viewed the film was big screen dick and terrible comedy/acting.

The other guys

No fanservice for men even though that was easily 80%+ of the audience for the show.

Oh boy, critics had their venom & knives ready. Fans LOVE the movie. Huge positive scores. Big disconnect w/ critics & people. YOU got to make your own path, not go by what someone ELSE says my brothas ! when i was let go from the football squad i had a dime in my pocket and a big dream in an even bigger heart, i like to think you dudes share that outlook. at least my borthas and sistas out there have the HEART to show their love unlike the a**hole critics who literally pissed their khaki pants then give me a bad rating, 19% ?? camaaaan. I'm veryyyy happy you guys are showing MAJOR love for #Baywatch' thanks buds, keep rockin.

Drowned in PISS

Nothing will ever top Baywatch Nights

Pisswatch

Out of touch CRITIC'S just can't accept what the FANS really want is just a FUN and RAUNCHY summer blockbuster. Dozens more reports of piss soaked theaters coming in every day #getlitty

>Canadians under the age of 35 are all bi
What did he mean by this?

>fuck I look like an idiot
>I'll just say it's because I loved working with the other actors and director so much
>I'll say I'm doing my duty by promoting the film

I doubt he will admit his autism over this even to himself. Faggot is thin skinned.