POTC5 - Thoughts?

What did you think?

My favorite part of these films are the prop antics e.g. jumping from boat to boat, objects come to life, and setting change.

The overall aesthetic was in tact, but the story was boring. That isn't a bad thing.

Thoughts?

I wonder how long Depp can keep going with Jack.

It was fun. I liked how it returned and gave some closure to the original trilogy, while still setting up another possible film.
The plot wasn't anything new or exciting, but it was good enough.
The only thing I really disliked was that they changed the title from Dead Men Tell No Tales to Salazar's Revenge in my country and others, for some unexplained reason.

Why does disney pay people to shill here? doesn't that evil mega corp already have enough money and influence?

"MUH SCIENCE" girl was obnoxious in every scene

Hello Sup Forums

Better than the 4th (but then again, anything could have been).

It was alright - the environments were better, but it left me with that classic feeling of "why didn't they just make it good"?

Seriously - why do writers not just put in the effort and make movies really fucking good?

The Dead men tell no tales does sound cooler. But like others have pointed out before and that I have noticed when i saw it. It looked very cheesy and stupid when Salazar says the line "dead men tell no tales" and then right after the title comes up "PoTC dead men tell no tales"

>Seriously - why do writers not just put in the effort and make movies really fucking good?
why didn't they just make the 1st one again?
once they establish the brand they can afford to hire retards for peanuts to churn out shite because poeple will still go because its potc.

She was very fuckable though, I just wanted to gag her and buttfuck her

First ones had funny moments but the athmosphere was grimm and depressing, 4 and 5 are happy go lucky

>Dutchman and its purpose were literally created by a sea-God to collected souls of the dead on the sea
>Salazar literally a ghost and killing hundreds
>Dutchman no where to be found

????????

>Dude's is Will's son
>Girl says she's looking for her father
>Me "kek, I bet it's Barbossa"
>Boom, it's Barbossa
>Me "kek, bye bye Barbossa"
>Boom, Barbossa offs himself

Bald witch character was completely irrelevant

I liked it, much better than the god awful 4th one

I honestly think she was the best part of the movie. Her, and captain Barbossa. All the other characters were meh at best - even Sparrow - and that witch lady was totally underused.

In general I liked the movie. The first half was good. Some jokes, some bants, some action. But the closer we got to the inane finale, I was ready to leave the theater already.

Watched a shitty Russian camrip first and liked it a lot due the emotional scenes. Rewatched a much better camrip today ... and holy shit, it's amazing. Easy the best one of the series. Even Henry didn't seem as bland on the second rewatch, and Salazar didn't feel as underused. Also Carina is a lot more similar to Jack and Barbossa than it appeared first.

Still annoyed about the new compass story and the whole tribute thing though. Why the fuck would they retcon it?

why was henry even in the film if they werent going to give him ANYTHING to do. what the fuck was his character? seriously, describe him without using "looking for his father, sea mythology, or handsome"

what the fucking fuck were they thinking

no she wasn't, she was obnoxious in only a couple scenes and the two that come to mind are when she fixes that guys telescope and when she's going on about ports and sterns. and that wasnt really her character as much as writers forcing shitty sex jokes for no reason that werent very good.

her main crime was, along with the guy, being a mouth that vomited out the plot details every other time she spoke. what were they thinking with that

Why is "wanting to save daddy" not a good enough reason for you?

> what the fuck was his character?
Well, we were told he's intelligent (reading in different languages) and being able to organize the pirates to save Jack and Carina wasn't too bad. He's also pretty damn stubborn and naive. Basically your average normal person cutout protagonist. With the two others the balance works.

wanting to save daddy is fine if it actually had a role in the movie, but it doesn't. Do you want an example of when that was done well? Just look at his fucking father. A big part of Will's character in 2 and 3 are wanting to save daddy, and it actually was important because it changed how he acted. In 2 he tried to kill jack to get the heart to do it.

Here there was absolutely no conflict that came with him trying to save daddy so it didnt allow any part of his character to be fleshed out.

He also didn't do ANYTHING of significance in the movie, he got knocked out twice and was a diversion once. The most important thing he did was pay Jack sparrow's own crew to rescue their captain. After that he did NOTHING.

Stubborn and naive would have been nice to see except she was already stubborn and naive about pirate ghost stuff, and she did it much better, so he really took a back seat. And on top of it all, he doesn't really have very many moments where he acts stubborn or naive.

Not enough shit battles 6/10

It was also better with Will because he had two conflicting goals. And hey, I am not arguing that Henry was a good character, I couldn't care less when he was kidnapped, just he wasn't annoyingly bad written enough to stand out with the other characters providing enough depth to balance him out.

She was more stubborn about being right, and not believing into super natural crap without seeing it is hardly naive. Henry was about "I have this stupid goal that's impossible and I will totally achieve it". Going all suicidal just to see dad was pretty hardcore too. From thinking that anyone cares about his myths to trusting pirates, he was pretty naive too.

In the end, I do agree, they could've done him a lot better but hey, they'll have more movies for that. Will become a lot more interesting after the first movie too.

>that post credits scene
How would they explain him coming back? He flat out died.

Calypso brought him back. Tadaah.

The movie had 4 characters, one monkey and a ship that came back from death, one more isn't that shocking.

>Will spends longer than normal fucking Keira
>Sea barfs up Davy to do his job for him

Is it true that Davy Kinones is in the post credits scene? Will POTC FINALLY return to form in the sixth flick?

I liked it, but I didn't get the point of the bald witch's character. She was in there for like 2 minutes and then was literally never brought up again, unless she shows up in other movies. Also, what was the dealio with the dutchman not interfering with the ghost ship?

There's SOMEONE there, but all you really see is a shadow and part of a cancer claw hand.

>haven't been able to top a villain they made in like 2006
>uhhhhh let's just bring him back!

Bruh there were barnacles on the ground

Salazar did nothing wrong, you know this to be true.

She predicted Barbossas death and gave him the compass. She sure as fuck use their little screen time well. Would be surprised if we don't see her again.

Salazar is way better than Jones, he's a lot like mix from Barbossa in 1 and Jones in 2 before he got cucked officially. The only downside is that we got so little of him.

How is that definite proof of anything? I wouldn't be surprised if it was some other character interily.

Salazar was great and so was Blackbeard. People only get a boner over jones because of the incredible CGI

Wish Jack Sparrow was less of a cartoon character now. Compare the gallows humor during the execution scenes of the 1st and most recent movie. "The French invented Mayonnaise, wacka wacka!"

Nah, Blackbeard was lame. Totally miscast and looked like an idiot most of the time. The only time he appeared threatening was stopping the mutiny and when he showed willingness to off his daughter. Barbossas talk about him was better than everything we seen on screen.

>implying you'd have enough creativity for banter at your 215151th execution

Because the name translated may not sound as cool in other languages

It literally translates in mine as "los hombres muertos no cuentan cuentos", the mere fact of having "cuentan" and "cuentos" on the same sentence sounds really odd, like "play plays" or something like that.

The part when he lit the one guy on fire was pretty great

The seas always need the Dutchman to ferry the lost souls to the afterlife.

So they brought back Jones to do the job Will left

Everything around it was good, the action itself was too cartoonish IMO and only lacked mustache twirling.

I've got to agree. It seemed like they were trying too hard to write him as a wacky randum pirate jokester. The other movies managed to strike a good balance between the humor and seriousness. This one was just all silly all the time

liked it.. henry and carina were good (and introduced before jack and there were no pointless action sequences like the entire nr4)

and tentacles on the shadow

except get tricked into a rage fit by a teenager

>be admiral, like your daddy and granddaddy
>BTFO pirates left and right
>some faggot kid is acting like a monkey threatening you
Come on, who wouldn't do it.

Wait, what is this "try to save daddy (aka Will)" stuff?

Didn't they say that Will got freed from his job on the first 10 years because Elizabeth waited for him instead of fucking off like Calypso? Was that retconned?

1>2>5>3>>>>>>>shit>>>how come he knew that hole compass backstory and even who jack sparrow was?

>The Black Pearl is the fastest ship in the seas
>immediately gets caught and BTFO'd by the British and Salazar

and where the fuck was the Flying Dutchman during all this? Considering it's job/purpose you'd think it would come save the day or some shit

That's what I thought. the curse was already lifted at the end of the 3rd. I guess they said fuck it and scrapped the whole thing

no that was never said in the movies. the writers were getting shit about the downer ending so they told the fans that.

>Didn't they say that Will got freed from his job on the first 10 years because Elizabeth waited for him instead of fucking off like Calypso? Was that retconned?
he gets to go on land once every ten years.. then he's captain of the dutchman again. There always has to be a captain.

Curse was lifted on the crew that followed davy jones though, they weren't tied to the boat anymore, but bootstrap chose to stay on with his son

>and where the fuck was the Flying Dutchman during all this?
bloom only signed up for two scenes

Really? Is there an interview or something?

they were sailling against the wind... both salazar and the brits came from the side... rough explanation but i didn't need anyone telling me that to understand it...


i liked it... it's a good direction if they decide to get more done... Davy Jones back is also exciting

i was hoping for something terribly bad and this was a fun movie... as far as blockbusters go, this was my second favourite this year after Guardians of the Galaxy i guess.

Maybe there was some Spanish legend about the compass, or his place was passed by someone with information about curses, whether a book or a person.

>even who jack sparrow was
Probably remembered the look and then saw ships with wanted posters passing the triangle before the intro.

He could go on land every 10 years. The curse was forever.

Doubt Wills crew would want to interfere on his behalf, besides, could he even find Henry just like that? Didn't kid Henry go to a specific place to drown at the start because of that?

What was Paul McCartney's role?

>The seas always need the Dutchman to ferry the lost souls to the afterlife.
Except in this movie

Jacks uncle. He was actually pretty good

>Salazar Mendoza Escobar
You couldn't be more evil Spaniard even if you tried all your life

one of the best jokes... he had like 20 seconds to say:

"ever head the one of the skeleton? no? a skeleton walks in a bar... he orders a beer and a mop."

completely out of fucking nowhere and then gone... yet i laughed so fucking hard at it...

People in my threatre laughed too soon and couldnt hear the joke, what did he say?

Well okay then.

nvm That's actually funny

The two scenes with Will were really awkward. Orlando Bloom seemed like he really didn't want to be there.

Also
"If you're going to be disembowled ask for ______ (didn't hear the name) he has the softest hands, and he won't cut off your feet!"

That intro scene was weird as fuck. Bloom was like some weird narrator recapping the end of the 3rd film or something. His acting was really bad

He just doesn't look much of a dad.

>Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean XVII: Johnny Depp poses for Pirate flick

Did anyone else feel like Depp wasn't doing the Jack Sparrow voice right in this one?

Rush's acting at the brightest star scene was so fucking great. The expression, the voice, the crippled walking. Really felt like a hurt and broken dad.

he's falling... it's sad actually but he's falling...

all the pirates movies sequels became "The Adventures of Jack Sparrow" and it was never supposed to be that... plus the supernatural part was forced as fuck

it took them all these years to finally understand that they need to push back Jonhy Depp a little bit... and the cuck got offended by that decision and probably just started drinking more...

the character is supposed to be older at this movie but... it does seem like he just did charicterization of a charicterization...

Family talked me into seeing it with them. Wasn't nearly as bad I expected. More of the same, but I enjoyed it.

>obnoxious
That is not how yoj spell "hot".

THAT FACE WHEN SHE WAS CAUGHT IN HOSPITAL AND PRESSED AGAINST THE WALL.

Too bad it's not R rated.

She's hot as fuck
>look her up and realize we're the same age
Oh that's kind of cool
>she's been married for 2 years
>she already has a kid

>2017
>expecting a movie nbased on a Disney theme park ride to not be cheesy

Then again, I was like one of seven people who loved Tomorrowland.

Fuck tomorrowland for ruining Tron 3

fuck Disney for dropping both Tomorrowland and Tron 3. I think someone at Disney did not want either and let Tomorrowland tank. They did shit promotion for it.

True. Disney must be retarded if they think people aren't "interested in science fiction"
Also
>Disney desperately needs an IP for "boys"
>acquire Star Wars for like 8 billion dollars
>immediately make it a vessel for feminist propaganda

1>2>5>3>>>>>>>>Overall a good movie but an average Pirates movie.

Personal note: I felt bad for Salazar's crew at the end.

I fully expected the Dutchman to appear and fuck Salazar in the ass after finding out that the Trident of Poseidon is just a gold formation without any actual supernatural characteristics.

Saw it earlier today at the half price matinee. Wasn't terrible, but nothing amazing. It was a fun little popcorn flick. I didn't see the last one so I was lost on a couple minor things like I guess Barbossa lost his leg? Salazar was a pretty decent villain at least. Barbossa continued to be the best character in the series may he rest in peace

How much do you guys think Keira Knightly got paid for the one no-dialogue scene she got? Two if you want to count the postcredits scene she barely appeared in

Why are the Spanish so good in these?

Movie 4:
>FUCK THIS HERESY, IN THE NAME OF THE HOLY INQUISITION!

Movie 5:
>KAP-ee-Tan Saleezar!

4 was legit better than 3, though.

The idea behind every action sequence was cool just like any other Pirates movie but the execution was mostly bad
It was edited so poorly I could barely understand who was doing what in most action scenes
Visuals overall were cool
Story was godawful. I hate how previous movies haven't impacted Sparrow or Barbossa at all. The worst part of movies 4 and 5 is it did away all character development that happened in the trilogy

>"Dead men tell no tales."
>"I am no man."
cringe

>plus the supernatural part was forced as fuck

Supernatural shit was in the first movie. If that isn't what you signed up for, you already have the wrong franchise from the get-go.

okay... there's a difference between:

>plus the supernatural part was forced as fuck

and what you are assuming

>>supernatural part was unnecessary

the Kraken and Davy Jones were dope... but it was forced as fuck... and the swashbuckling was the best part of the first movie, not the supernatural "shit"

>it's a Disney movie released in May 2017 where a popular supporting character in the franchise reveals himself as the protagonist's father before sacrificing himself for them

>the Kraken and Davy Jones were dope... but it was forced as fuck... and the swashbuckling was the best part of the first movie, not the supernatural "shit"

>opinions

Nigga, this isn't the shit awakens. you could argue Rey being a mary sue and I'd be right there with you but nigga, this is like duck tales or gummy bears level of logic. if you think about it too hard, you'll turn into Lana Warchowski. Now I'm serious, your dick will invert, and your balls will explode because some crazy dyke bitch will shove 300 needles in it.

agreed. swashbuckling was what truly made the first one so good. the supernatural stuff was really neat, but they could've easily made the second with little to no supernatural stuff and it would've been better. just pirate conflicts. maybe a little voodoo here and there now that we've established that the supernatural does exist, but don't make it the center of every fucking movie

Salazar was pretty cool.

>they wasted based javier bardem on this piece of shit
>they even brought him back to life but still killed him in the end
what the fuck, that was the perfect set up for him to be a major villain later on. punished salazar, murdering spaniard, brit, and pirate alike trying to get jack

although his face connecting with the bottom of the anchor was the most satisfying thwack in movie history

flashback was the best part of this entire movie

The visuals were pretty cool (dead sharks) and the story felt more important to the overall arch than On Stranger Tides.

Genuinely, irredeemably awful. Had a lot of problems with this one. The editing was probably the most noticeably shit thing about the whole experience, felt like it had just been cobbled together in half an hour. Pacing was truly awful. There were quite a few continuity errors. There were so many fucking pointless characters but hell, it's a Disney film so what do you expect. Rush was bad, Depp was really really bad, Bloom clearly didn't want to be on set. The young Jack thing was fucking disgusting, I really hope this CGI actor thing fucking dies like 3d. The dead sharks looked rushed as fuck. i will say, they pulled some nice visuals, such as the starry night sky Island and the water trench. Bardem looked cool but the rest of his crew looked really gimicky. The set pieces have never been good in these films, with the exception of the opening to POTC 3, but even so they were particularly uninteresting here. Bardem and the Science girl put in pretty good performances, even though Bardem was literally impossible to understand throughout.

supernatural was the center of the first one retard

supernatural was a plot device, most of the scenes did not involve it. it was about pirates dealing with cursed gold, trying to get all the gold back with a blood payment to get uncursed, not pirates dealing with ghost pirates on a quest to find a magical staff locked under a trench behind an island made of stars that releases the curse of the ghost pirates

Didnt Calypso say that she gave Jack the compass. Having him just picked it up off some dead pirate kinda got to me.

i thought i was the only person whomst've thought this it was such a relief to have a break from kiera knightly's screeching and Orlando blooms inability to act