Why the FUCK haven't you seen Baywatch?

why the FUCK haven't you seen Baywatch?

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>implying I haven't seen it twice bro

isnt out in austraya m8

I wanted to see it with my brother but he's an Alt-Right weenie and isn't a fan and doesn't like fun and raunchy films. Lova ya The Rock.

I don't get what's so fun about raunchy R-rated films.

You ain't ever seen Porky's now have ya ,boy?

oh boy then you are in for a treat when you go and see BAYWATCH

I thought you guys were in the future?

I swear Mr. Johnson I was going to go see it, but then I started reading Dianetics, and found an equal waste of life within that.

They are, that's why it isn't coming out. They saw what a piece of shit it was and re - corrected space and time.

I'm only hydrating hard for a week to be ready to PISS out of EVERY orifice possible at the cinema until everyone in the theater is atleast ANKLE DEEP in pure raunchy summer piss ammonia let's get litty my boys

Don't you get it Dwayne? Baywatch was normie trash back in the day that generated a passionate fanbase with a total sum of nobody. People only watched it to see pretty girls in a time where internet porn had yet to explode.

Stick to exploiting nerds in capeshit movies or follow the latest normie garbage trends like the Fast and Furious movies if you want box office success.

I don't like to leave my apartment when I get home from work.

Got a torrent?

What the f*ck did you just fucking say about my movie, you little critic? I'll have you know that the FANS are LOVING Baywatch (tm), and there've been reports of numerous people pissing in theatres, and I have over 300 POSITIVE reviews. I am trained in acting and can bench more than the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me than just another critic. I will make you LAUGH the f*ck out with you pissing yourself the likes of which has never been seen before in theatres, mark my f*cking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, BRO. As we speak I am contacting Kevin Hart in central intelligence and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for some SUMMER FUN, dude. RAUNCHY R-RATED COMEDY that expels the contents from the pathetic little thing you call your bladder. You're f*cking boring, man. I can be on any television set, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my WWE Wrestling technique. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to all my FANS on Twitter and I will use it to its full extend to shame you into watching Baywatch (tm), you little weakling. If only you could have known what uncool vibes your "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you could have held your f*cking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now YOU'RE WELCOME, you goddamn critic. I will get my FANS to piss laughter all over you and you will drown in it. You're f*cking gone, BRO

The weirdest shit about this film is that, apparently, the tv show was rated PG and they decided to throw some dicks in their, actual ones not the cast, and give it an R rating. WTF.

youtube.com/watch?v=48H34ukFe8g

This comment alone makes me actually want to watch the film now. If this is actually the Rock, you've done your job sit. Well done.

R A U N C H Y
A
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Fuck every time I see the rock now I automatically piss myself

I have not enough pee bottles to bring to the kinóthèque, they are asking for at least 10.

This. It's your own fault for picking a shit movie, Dwayne.

I wanted to watch a good movie

Actually bro I just got back from seeing it! Best summer blockbuster of the year no doubt!! These shorts are still soaked with piss bro no lie. My freaking socks were squishin the whole way outta that theater!!

OKAY, so me and the boys just got back from babewatch 2017(Baywatch™) and I have to get this blog post out before the critics get to rotten tomatoes™. Here's the rundown bros and ladies:

What to expect:
- a good time if you aren't too serious about things and know how to have a good time
- a lot of RAUNCHY HUMOUR... guys and gals DON'T bring your in laws they will not get it. this is the type of movie to have a GOOD TIME and let's face it sometimes that means things get a little RAUNCHY.
- nerdy library type people ARE NOT going to ENJOY this much of a SPLASHY Summer ROMP. It's not for them! Ignore all the critics or as my boys and I call them HATERS. They don't know how to HAVE A GOOD TIME THIS FILM ISN'T FOR **THEM** IT'S FOR US. LAID BACK NO STRESS GOOD TIMES GOOD VIBES FUN PEOPLE SO DON'T LET THE HATERS SCARE YOU AWAY. THEY ARE PAID TO HATE NOT HAVE A GOOD TIME YOU KNOW WHO YOUARE OUT THERE SO GET DOWN TO THE CINEPLEX AND LETS GET IT ON.

What to bring:
- okay, guys, listen up. you're going to get wet. just ACCEPT it right now because it's going to happen so don't stress. my bro Forest went to Costco before the show and picked up a bulk pack of socks... YOU. ARE. GOING. TO. NEED. EXTRA. SOCKS. I can't overstate this point. Guys, you're going to the SMASH COMEDY ROMP of the Summer, possibly the decade. You're going to get piss on your feet.
- Always recommend a sleeve of AMERICAN BEER for summer hit raunchy flicks. ENJOY YOURSELF RIGHT!
- COOL PEOPLE. MY PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AT THIS FILM. ROLL DEEP ROLL EARLY ROLL OFTEN. PEOPLE GET OUT AND GET TO THE SHOW THIS IS YOUR TIME TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
- Sunblock! Just kidding dudes, you are going to probably think you need it with all the HOT PEOPLE IN THE SUN on screen, but trust me guys, you can't get sunburned from a movie screen even if it feels like A BEACH PARTY.

OKAY DUDES AND LADIES, so everyone should be ready all that's left to say is HAVE A GOOD TIME AND LETS GET LITTY

TRUE fans like me have alresdy seen it twice.
Haha man i even made a twitter account JUST so i can spread the FUN of Baywatch

I don't know if I can handle so much raunchy summer FUN. And my body fluids are already running low just from watching the trailer. But the FANS are loving it!!

you know this is how a TRUE FAN has some good fun! only cool dudes know how its done, appreciate it!!!!

You can bromo bull my dickhole anytime bro

I do often wonder if The Rock had any chat up lines for Auli'i Cravalho when they were working on Moana together, and how successful he was with them.