Introduce your country with chronology

Hi people!

I start from my country.How about your country?

Any unique idea welcome! :)

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pit-house
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

george washington crossed the atlantic because europe was for fucking faggots and founded america, the greatest country on earth god bless jesus christ amen.

1- 1999 - No internet, therefore shit
2000 - 2017 - Best period in my life and country

~1905 owned by china
~1945 owned by Japan
~ 2017 owned by America
~~~~~ owned by china again

1611-1763: Best British colony, master's are great :3
1763-1776: Let us stay colony, please master. We just want representation.
1776-1784: FUCK YOU BRITISH. GIB FREEDOM!!!!!
1781-1788: Articles of confederation.
1788-1812: Constitution. Basic peace. Louisiana purchase.
1812-1815: War of 1812, only threat in US history of losing clay.
1812-~1840: Manifest destiny prime.
1846-1848: Take the Mexican capital lmao
1848-1855: California gold rush.
1855-1861: Abolitionists and slave-owners bitching at each other.
1861-1864: Civil war, Union gains firm control of the country, never threatened again.
1864-1877: Reconstruction
1877-~1898: Industrialization. Spanish-American war. Beginning of banana wars.
1898-~1909: Use the Polish and Irish as cheap labor, lmao.
1909-1914: Political prisoners, lmao. Also immigration quotas
1914-1918: Steal the glory in Europe pt. 1
1918-1920: Intervention in Russia, start of the cold war.
1920-1929: First golden age: "Roaring Twenties"
1929-1938: Fuck alcohol, fuck socialists, and especially fuck Italians.
1938-1941: Fuck the Japanese and Germans, but no war please.
1941-1946: Steal all the glory in Europe pt. 2. Start of USA as superpower.
1946-1950: Nuke tests all over the world.
1950-1960: Second golden age. USA #1.
1960-1991: Commie genocide when?
1990-1991: Fuck you Saddam.
1991-2017: Fucken terrorists.

1900: creation of burger :DD

morón

530 - our tribes came from Asia (wooden housing being invented)
862 - finnish swede Rurik unifies a couple of tribes. Rurikovich dynasty.
990 - we christians now. (human sacrifices prohibition, blini invented)
1237 - we mongols now (invented pelmeni and samovar)
1386 - ambassador from Republic of Genoa treats prince of Moscow with aqua vitae. Moscow scientists do reverse engineering of liquid and create vodka. (vodka being invented)
1480 - Rurikovich dynasty once again (expansions, colonialism being invented)
1598 no dynasty. anarchy (trained dancing bears and localized cannibalism become a thing. First expedition to Siberia)
1613 - Romanov dynasty (local style of ballet and balalaika being created)
1917 - communists revolt. USSR is a thing (prohibition of Jesus, alcohol and NEETs)
1991 - fall of Soviet Union
2000 - Putin reign

-1000 horseniggers
1000-1526 great power in europe
1526-1689 tripartioned
1689-1867 austria reeeee
1867-1918 golden age again
1918-1945 MUH TRIANON
1945-1990 communism
1990- backwards shithole

>wooden housing being invented
where the fuck did they sleep before 530? yurts? dirt houses? geez

This

800-present: Fuck Sweden

lots of cultures digged holes into the ground and put a roof on top
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pit-house

Pretty much. Tents made of pelts, like all the nomads.

dozens of thousands of years: hippie indians whose major accomplishment was building mounds

1700s or so: a few mexicans
around 1830: mexicans getting btfo by indians invite anglos to settle in texas. anglos totally promise to convert to catholicism *wink*
1840: texas rebels against mexico sometime around here
1850: texas joins usa and immediately rebels
1855-1965: golden age
1965-now: slow motion mexican reconquista

-17000 invented human culture at Lascaux
-52 invented the concept of resisting oppression at Alésia
491 invented the first christian kingdom with Clovis at Reims
732 stopped the arabs from invading Europe with Charles Martel
1277 Etienne Tempier, bishop of Paris, invented the christian philosophy by condemning 219 of its thesis
1378 had a second Pope in Avignon because fuck Vatican
1637 invented modern science with Descartes and his "Discourse on the Method"
1789 invented modern nation-states and sovereignty of its people
1793 invented state terrorism
1804 dominated Europe as the first french empire
1871 invented communism at Paris
1892 invented cinéma
1945 invented social security
2003 no america, we won't go to your full scale shitty war on a few sandpeople to compensate your childhood insecurities

You know how to sum up something chinky boy

> - 1700 rightful swedish clay
> 1700 - 1900 rightful russian clay
> 1900 - rightful finnish clay

Come on, up to this day you're still rightful russian clay

Dog bless
Bretty gud
5/5

boring

>1000 no land
>1970 12 provinces

>-17000 invented human culture at Lascaux
WE

ARE
FRENCHZ

Fake history.

9999999 BC - 1788 - Oooga booga
1788 - Bunch of mad cunts arrive

uhum sweetie

10th Century: Duke Mieszko I unites some Slavic tribes and creates this country, with borders similar to what they are today
966: Poland becomes Christian
1025: Duke Bolesław Chrobry becomes a King
1138: King Bolesław Krzywousty divides Poland among his sons, creating weak duchies which get Czech'd and Germany'd
13th century: Mongolian and Prussian raids
1230: Duke of Mazovia calls the Teutonic Order to get rid of Prussians, they set up their country in Prussia
1385: Grand Duke of Lithuania Jagiełło becomes a Polish King, personal union with Lithuania
1466: Teutonic Knights defeated
1525: Prussia becomes a Duchy and a Polish vassal
16th century: the golden century, Poland is rich and powerful
1569: Full union of Poland and Lithuania, beginning of the Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth
1572: Elective monarchy
17th century: Poland gets into wars with Sweden and Russia, gets weaker, tries to conquer Moscow, but ultimately fails, also Prussia becomes independent
1683: King Jan III Sobieski fights off the KARA BOĞA in Vienna
18th century: Reign of kings August II and August III, union with Saxony, the noblemen get rich, eat and drink a lot but the country gets weaker
1772: First partition of Poland, Russia, Prussia and Austria take our clay
3.05.1791: The Great Sejm, tries to reform Poland and comes up with the Constitution (which didn't help a lot)
1793: 2nd Partition
1794: Nobles opposing the reforms form the Confederacy of Targowica, backed by Russia, war with Russia, Polish forces led by Tadeusz Kościuszko ultimately lose when the King joins the Confederacy
1795: Final partition
1807: Napoleon sets up the Duchy of Warsaw which dies soon
1831, 1863: Uprisings against Russia
1918: Due to WWI Poland regains independence
1939: Poland gets Blitzkrieg'd
1944: Poland falls under Soviet sphere of influence, communists get in power
1980: Solidarność, Lech Wałęsa, Jan Paweł II
1989: We become free again
1999, 2004: we get into NATO and EU