Dad! Your hand is jammed in the toaster!

Dad! Your hand is jammed in the toaster!

Favourite SImpsons joke thread?

Other urls found in this thread:

frinkiac.com/
youtube.com/watch?v=9WSU4R-Rgt0
youtube.com/watch?v=wLww3KpLEoo&list=LLqDiCwriioj-kgzgTUXJGgQ&index=11
youtube.com/watch?v=0To2SKnSDUo
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>"Hey, this emergency exit is only painted on!"

every fox joke

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frinkiac.com/

Well sir, I won't bore you with the deatils of our miraculous escape...

Ah yes, that crippled irishman!

$pringfield was a goldmine of quality jokes

>Not I,the man who drafted the Paris Peace Accords

> The Soviet Union? I thought you guys disbanded.
> Yes, that's what we WANTED you to think. AHAHAHAHAHA!

Best Treehouse of Horror episode.
"STUPID BUG YOU GO SQUISH"!

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>>Sir! They fired their general at us!
>>Then we'll fire back!
*Men grab their general*
>>NO! I mean, fire back with a torpedo

is it about my cube?

youtube.com/watch?v=9WSU4R-Rgt0

Always made my brother and I laugh.

It being on it's 300th season is probably the best joke at this point.

>I think he's talking to you

Also I can't take the movie Cape Fear anymore thanks to this episode

Another day, another box of stolen pens.

"Give me the drugs Lisa."

I don't have the same hate boner Sup Forums has for Lisa but this episode was great.

Also the shot of Maggie in the pet carrier made me laugh.

"Attempted murder," now honestly, did they ever give anyone a Nobel prize for "attempted chemistry?"

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Burns was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then transferred to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his condition to alive.

It's one of my favorite episodes

Yes.

Maybe not the best but I still laughed
>try the new Shrek-Berry Blast! When you buy it you get a coupon for 10% off any Shrek movie except the first two!

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I never got why some people at NHC say Simpson Tide felt like a Scully episode. The absurdity of its humour was more inline with the rest of the 3G episodes, having very much a Critic vibe to it. And Homer never once acted like a jerkass in the episode, nor did the episode feel mean spirited in the slightest.

THIS IS NED FLANDERS MY FRIEND

I'm Ned Flanders and I wear the saaame stupid sweater evvvery day and --

THE SPRINGFIELD RIVER!

>Hand in the toaster
>Best gag
>Not
>DAD! IT'S IN THERE AGAIN!

>What are you bringing back for dinner?
>If you're good, pizza. If you're bad...poison.

Don't know if its my all time favorite but god damn it gets me every time

The man has a point. You don't go to jail for attempted piracy or attempted jaywalking

The Aurora Borealis?
At this time of day?
In this part of the country?
Localized ENTIRELY in your kitchen?
>yes
May I see?
>Uh, no

>What if one of us is good and one of us is bad?
>Poison Pizza
>I'm not making two stops

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HEY MR. PRIME MINISTER!!!
ANDY!!!!!

Marge: Homer that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me again.

Homer: That's not the way she tells it.

youtube.com/watch?v=wLww3KpLEoo&list=LLqDiCwriioj-kgzgTUXJGgQ&index=11

Would anyone happen to have the wallpaper of this?

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>Just ask this scientitian!
>Uh...

He can't be the Hulk! I'm the Hulk!
urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.

Come on, damn it! Change!

I really did it once.

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I TOLD YOU TO SHAVE THOSE SIDEBURNS!

I still say Yes like this whenever I get the opportunity.

>What country is this car from?
>Eeeeh, it doesn't exist anymore

>Come on! Put it in 'H'!

YOU KNOW WHO'D BE PERFECT FOR THAT BATMOBILE?
THE THING!

>So you admit you grabbed her sweet can.
>No, Mr. Simpson! Don't take your anger out on me! No Mr. Simpson NOOOOOO!

Hehehehe, look at this country! U-R-Gay.

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Are you nuts? The Thing fits in there perfectly.
Look. He's fitting right now.

You broke my Batmobile!

Broke? Or made it better?

>"These were the Generals last words before he was shot in the back"

>Homer? There's a man here who thinks he can help you.
Batman?
>No, he's a scientist.
Batman's a scientist.
>It's not Batman!

I've saved too much from this site.

>Something was lacking... call it... heart
>No hussle either skip!

How much of a kissass they made daryl strawberrie was fucking hilarious

>Am I so out of touch.
>No, its the Children who are wrong.

Sup Forums in a nutshell.png

This one slays me every time.

The, Bart. The.

>Hop in.

>I'll catch you beer baron...
>Noooo yooouuu woooon't
>Yes. I will.
>D'oooooh.

AW COME ON! LEAVE TOWN!

"You could call 'em Whitey Whackers!"

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Hello, Mr... Kurns. I bad want. Money now. Me sick.

>Oooh, he card reads good.

The unrepentant shitting on the British always gets me.

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>Awwwwww the Denver Broncos

Did they just retcon the fact that Homer owns denver or do you think he just sold the team for super cheap or lost them in a poker game?

>Simpsons
>continuity

>Hmm, fabulous house, well behaved kids, sisters in law dead, luxury sedan. Woohoo! I hit the jackpot! Marge Dear, would you kindly pass me a donut?
>Donut? Whats a Donut?
>AAAAAAAAAAH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
>Hmm, its raining again

In the comics, Homer traded them to Moe to pay off part of his bar tab.

Yes, he got straight-up robbed.

"Individually we are weak, like a single twig. But as a bundle we form a mighty faggot!"

>You...went into outer space. YOU.

It was a joke, user.

I don't remember that overlay

Amen to that.

Also Everything with this dentist is gold.

youtube.com/watch?v=0To2SKnSDUo

Meow-Meow-Meow Meow Meow-Meow Meow-Meow Meow-Meow

>That's right.
>I think things I'd never say

Gotta be honest, when I saw this episode live It really struck me as a...new low. I think that the last 7 or 8 seasons are soooo much better than say 14-19

The original airing didn't have the definition pop up.

>That elephant ate my entire platoon

Didn't say it was a great episode, but it was a fantastic line.

D I E T

>Well well well, Steve Sax from New York City. I heard some guy got killed from New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't happen to know anything about that now would ya Steve?
There's hundreds of unsolved murders in New York city!
>You're just digging yourself in deeper, pal.

Are you telling me that reruns have to explain the joke?

>Look at how he accuses me! And at my own trial, no less!

-Here are your messages: "You have thirty minutes to move your car." "You have ten minutes." "Your car has been impounded." "Your car has been crushed into a cube." "You have thirty minutes to move your cube."
[Phone Rings]
-Y'ello, Mr. Burns Office?
-Is it about my cube?

The timing in this one is perfect

To prevent ignorant people from getting offended.
Like people who'd get upset at "niggardly"

>The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan "Up with Mini-skirts!". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed "Charlie" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!

The delivery on that speech is the best thing ever.

>Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw!
>Steve Sax and his run in with the law!

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Another great line from a fairly crap episode.

I miss Vietnam flashback Skinner.

Were talkin Homer, Ozzy and the Straw!

>a fairly crap episode.
What?
It was great.

I haven't watched the Simpsons for like 10 years.
Have they made him a Gulf War 1 vet now or something?

>Barneys movie had heart
>But football in the groin had a football in the groin

>Wade Boggs gets lost in an unknown dimension
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>nonsensical equation floats by
>Neat!
>[takes photo]
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Damn, poor moe.

To be perfectly honest I loved it. But I know that it copped a torrent of hate at the time because of its crossover nature.