Islamic Standup Routine

Please rate my joke:
>Everyone knows Islam is a religion of peace, but did you know that Sunni Islam is the most peaceful of them all? It's true - I knew a Shia guy who went to school with some Sunni Turks - he found them so peaceful, he decided to invite them all to a free lunch at Micky D's. Only thing was, he actually just killed them all - but hey, I guess that's why Sunni Islam's the most peaceful

Joke #2:
>Kids are great aren't they? Especially when they're taught in the ways of Allah! But isn't it amazing how fast they blow up - er grow up :D? Seriously though, one minute they're holding your hand and the next, they're introducing you to that special girl - or in some cases 72 :DDD

Holy fucking shit the autism is strong with this one.

Seriously though, never post here again.

Kill yourself.

You triggered Achmed?

I bet it took you longer to write this fucking reply then it did for you to write those shitty jokes.

I have one.
>What do you call a dead Muslim?
>A good start
And one more
>How many Muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?
>37, one to change the lightbulb while the rest play ficki ficki on the goat.

.t Butthurt Mudslime

I have one

>what is the difference between Islam and OP.

Nothing, they are both steaming piles of shit.

How's Gibraltar these days you sun nigger

I hope we nuke your disgusting country

That was horrible, there wasnt even a joke
better but not funny

>than it did for you to write those shitty jokes
You realize they're supposed to sound corny right? It's standup - have you ever seen fucking fucking Seinfeld routine? Or were you too busy celebrating Ramadan with reruns of Citizen Khan?

I have another!
>Why did Mohammed cross the road?
>To rape goat.

It's funny because I'm not even fucking Islamic or Arabic.

I'm a fucking white male.

The only humour that stems from Islam is watching Muslims flee from battle when the banner of the British empire is raised once more.

Those are some pretty bad jokes. I guess New Zealand is the retarded little brother of Australia, a bit like the Canada-US relationship.

What do you call the empty milk cartons and old rubber tyres floating about in the Gulf Of Mexico?
>The Cuban Yacht Club.

The joke is that Sunni Islam is so un-peaceful that the Sunni Turks made Sonboly want to go out and shoot them by being such cunts to him. The joke upon that joke is that Sunni Islam is still the more peaceful because the Shia guy went and shot them.

The only thing funny about your jokes is how unfunny they are.

So, in another words, you're like every other NZ 'comedian'. See you on the tv, OP!

>using the "is strong with this one" meme
>ever
Autism

Sorry, Abo.

What's the best thing about being a Muslim?
Not being a faggot like OP.

What's the worst thing about being a Muslim?
OP makes retarded 'jokes' about you.

>The only humour that stems from Islam is watching Muslims flee from battle when the banner of the British empire is raised once more.

>I am a Muslim xD
You have to go back

>*a fucking Seinfeld routine

>what did the goat say to the Muslim?
>Plz no rape goat!i!

>So I was with Hajar the other day
>And he's looking a little flustered
>I ask what's up
>He says it's his turn to martyr in the name of Muhammed (pbuh)
>I say you should be excited Hajar!
>He say he's worried, what if religion is not true? What if it's just an old story written by a crazy man?
>So I say...
>ALLAHU AKBAR INFIDEL ALLAHU AKBAR INSHALLAH INSHALLAH INFIDEL ALLAHU AKBARRRRRR
>And I cut off his head and rape his sisters.

Come on, Ben, you can do better than that.

You created a thread to show off your comedy prowess and it's been as well recieved as a pozzed dick in a neg hole.

Come up with a betetr retort than "You must be a Mussie, lel".

Why are you replying to yourself?

>Ben
Kek
>Why are you replying to yourself?
What do think "*" is?

>*you

Ali Sonboly converted to christianity. Calling him shia is like calling Varg vikernes a christian.

The setup works but the punchline is written like shit.
0/10 apply yourself

>The setup works but the punchline is written like shit.
How would you rewrite it?

Sauce?

>what is most rare animal in Muslim world?
>Virgin goat

What did the goat say after her date with the local imam?

SHIA LATER

You need work. Drop the entire first joke. Second was pretty weak at first but the 72 virgins reference was good. Overall you sound really autistic but it could be good if you changed your tone.