IRL Larry Moments Thread

What are your stories, Sup Forums?

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>doesn't have one ready
Great thread OP

>walking through town
>need to take a shit
>going to have a coffee someplace so that I can go to the toilet there
>go downstairs to the toiler before I order, need to go pretty bad
>2 toilets, one for men, one for women in the same room
>go for a shit in the mens
>no toilet paper
>carefully pull my pants up, leave my belt undone and my shirt untucked
>check the ladies toilet for paper
>while im pulling some out of the machine, a woman comes in
>quickly go scuffling into the mens again, while holding a piece of paper and with loose pants
>its not enough
>have to wait until theres nobody there
>finally
>go get some paper again
>a dude comes in and goes to the mens
>decide to just finish up in the ladies
>women waiting when i got out
>probably got weird looks

cool story bro

Season 9 is coming October 1st. Put it in your cucklog.

I had an Opposite Larry moment
Some girl thought i had a hard-on because my pants folded up at the crotch, she thought it was cute that i was hard so she asked me if she could touch it. Feelsgoodman

Someone post the I'VE NEVER BEEN TO NEW YORK story that the Channel Austim insider posted.

I can hear the Curb theme in my head when I read it.

>friends house fpr a party
>use bathroom to shit
>flush toliet
>piece of poop didnt go down.
>flush it again
>still doesn't go down
>wait until tank fills ip and flushes again
>still floating
>knock on the door
>"U ok? Theres a line forming outside:
>"be out in a sec"
>flush two more times
>toliet is now clogged and over flows

"Stop and chat" is part of my vocabulary now
I'll see people at my college and I have to decide whether or not I want to do a stop and chat

If i see someone that i went to college with but never knew on any social level, i just say "hi" and go on my way.

There really is no reason to talk to them because if i cared , i would have remained in contact with them.

>Sitting at my local bar.
>Ask one of the waitresses how the old ball and chain is treating her.
>She says, "About like that," while nodding over my shoulder.
>Turn and look
>As I do, two cops are slapping handcuffs on a black dishwasher in the middle of the bar.
>I start laughing hysterically.
>Other black guests start glaring at me
>Continue laughing anyways
Bum-bum-bum...

Chances of it not being an absolute disaster?

Absolute shit

Doesn't count

Why doesn't it count?!

>anons behaving like Larry without the key component of being a billion dollar success or one of the funniest most effortlessly witty and charismatic people that ever lived

I loved Seinfeld but I can't get into Curb. I'm only about halfway through Season 2 but I can't bring myself to watch the rest. It's just so boring.

>take a fork from restaurant to give to my limo driver waiting outside with a doggie bag
>the restaurant owner stops me and he is still angry at me because of earlier shenanigans
>gets arrested
>has to stand outside of restaurant with "I STEAL FORKS FROM RESTAURANTS" sign
>all tv heads that I have met and had all kinds of incidents with walk by
>the latest tv head I've met with eventually shows up
>music starts playing

Classic me.

Sounds like you're pretty pleb desu desu

Other way around for me.

I've posted this one before but:
>swipe this girl on tinder
>she has a cute dog on almost all of her pictures
>i don't think much about it
>go over to her house
>expect to see this dog
>dog is nowhere to be found
>it isn't her fucking dog
>it's someone else's dog and she hasn't seen the thing in a year
>get into an argument with her because I called her a catfisher for giving people the impression she had a dog when she didn't
>she's fuming and tells me to get out
>ask her if we're still having sex

It's the production more than the comedy that I find boring. It's recorded through a shitty camera with shitty lighting. I don't want to watch something like that.

The bright sets and early 90s outfits added to the charm of Seinfeld, but there's nothing like that in Curb and it all seems so dull.

well, did you?

>be me
>waiting room for job interview
>pretty excited, great salary and I'm a great candidate
>guy walks in "Mr. user? please follow me"
>Notice he's limping
>Very long hallway, so i decide to do some small talk to break the ice
>What happened there? Let me guess a foul tackle playing soccer right? heh
>No answer
>Get to the door a the end of the hallway, he comes inside with me, he's the interviewer I didn't know
>Sit down, do the interview confused because I feel like i'm acing every question but he doesn't seem amused at all.
>"We'll call you"
>As i get up, i glaze over and notice the very obvious prostetic leg poking out down his pants cuff.
Bum-bum-bum...

times you acted like larry general?

>friend lives in LA and works as a stand in for some movies
>throws a decent party and invites me
>says some minor celebrities might pop up
>sure I'm in!
>arrive at the party
>quite big apartment
>I just mingle trying not to look like an idiot
>I dont recognize any of these people
>talk to some bitch for half an hour
>all of a sudden Steven fucking Spielberg with some other dude arrives
>wtf.jpg
>Steven starts chatting to some other guests
>I move my ass there and just kinda stand between these other guests
>they give me the look like "who's this guy"
>Steven telling a story and giving random chat
>actually looks at me a couple of times giving a quick nod
>feel like a part of the conversation
>Steven's a total bro
>all of a sudden he wants to show a trick his niece taught him
>asks anyone if they have a dollar bill
>with massive speed I take my wallet out and open it
>fuck only a 20 $ bill
>I say I only have that
>he says "no worries" it will work fine
>I give him the 20 $
>he does some lame trick
>everyone laughs
>takes the 20 $ and puts it in his pocket
>I try to say something
>open my mouth
>this two other dudes come and drag him away
>I dont say anything
>I drink my champagne in the corner looking at Steven from a distance
>trying to figure out what to do
>he still has my 20 $
>this girl is looking at me and comes to me
>says what am I looking so closely
>I try to explain
>say "well its a funny story..." etc.
>finish my story
>she looks at me in disgust
>"are you saying Spielberg steals?, are you seriously telling me that?"
>I try to calm her down
>she starts screaming
>"HOW DARE YOU ACUSE HIM OF THEFT!!"
>every other person turns to her and me
>I try to explain

>my friend comes and says I better leave
>Steven overhears this commotion on the other part of the room
>I try to say "but wait I need those.."
>he pushes me out of his flat
>I go down
>3 AM in the middle of LA Downtown
>no money for cab
a week later
>randomy bump into Steven
>ask for it back
>"I realized I took it but I couldn't get a hold of you, I didn't know who you were, so I donated it to the Holocaust Survivors Fund"
>end up going to the Survivor's Fund HQ and demanding my $20 back
>the girl is there for the same reason
>give her the suspicious stare and tell her I told you so
youtube.com/watch?v=gyZDZCGQJf8

Opposite for me, I'd love to get into it but hate the fake sitcom aesthetics, single camera, repetitive apartment set and audience laughs

Rate
>working when a co-worker goes office to office saying that there's a masseuse at the office and that you can sign up for a free 10 minute massage
>I sign up because why not? a 10 minute break and a massage, nice.
>About an hour later the work gets out, the masseuse is an indian man
>oh fuck
>get a hold of the co-worker, tell her to cancel my massage
>she does
>around the time I had scheduled my massage my supervisor comes in to take me to the massage
>she didn't know I cancelled it
>other co-workers (mostly women) laughing because they know I don't want a massage from a man
>don't want to say I don't want a massage because it's a man to my supervisor, don't want a massage either
>she takes me with her and drops me off at the masseuse (a little room in the office)
>can't escape

Long story short, the masseuse told me I was extremely tense, my body kept twitching when he went for the touch.
I felt relaxed but confused afterwards, my co-workers giggled when i came back in the room

>he's called user in real life

About an hour later the word* gets out

>Chances of it not being an absolute disaster?
Larry can do no wrong.

He comes back when he feels ready and has good enough material, even if it takes five years, HBO doesn't pressure him.

>be me at a market place
>see some stuff on a shelf that I really like
>walk over but notice there is a chair in the way
>move chair so I can get to it
>store owner comes up
>"HEY BUDDY, DON'T YOU SEE THAT THIS AREA IS OUR OF BOUNDS?"
>"How? Where is the sign? All I saw was a chair?"
Not to mention that he had fucking heaps of shelves of items you could easily go up to and pick up but for some reason this particular stuff was "out of bounds".

Anyway the guy was a fucking dick for not having a "DO NOT ENTER" sign and thought a chair would stop people.

>late night at friends house for party
>we were drunk and everyone had fallen asleep watching movies
>me and friends gf on same couch
>friends gf snuggles up to me in her sleep
>her hair brushes into my face and she starts moving closer to me into a spooning position
>her ass starts rubbing against my crotch
>datass.jpg
>get a boner
>start humping a little
>start off slow
>she humps back
>get faster
>hard dick getting stuck into some fine booty
>i'm gonna cum
>cum.mp3
>i let out a little moan
>friends gf suddenly pulls away from me
>hear a lightswitch click
>lights are on in the room
>"user" i can hear my friend say
>see my friend leaning over looking at me as he's standing behind the couch
>ruh-roh
>can feel wet patch of jizz dripping in my jeans
>"user...... what's the deal with aeroplane food??"
>apartment door busts open
>unwashed homeless man slides in
>"Jerry! you won't believe this - some black apes just ruined my show"
>bald fat man with glasses bursts out of the oven
>"aw gee jerry.. you know.. i just.. i just can't, black apes? really? in this neighbourhood?"
>irate jewish woman crawls out from underneath a flower vase
>"WOOOWW? reallyyyyy??"
>unwashed homeless man grabs my legs
>pulls me off couch
>whips out his hard throbbing dong
>start crying, beg him to stop
>try to resist his greedy hands, he's too strong
>plead to the people around me to help me
>they just turn to me and say
>"DON'T LET EM BREAK YOU KRAMER"
>*sad trumpet melody*