You don't do this Sup Forums, right?

You don't do this Sup Forums, right?

i've only had sex with 2 different people and i do the opposite of this

I'm only guilty of getting the large popcorn
22 y/o virgin

Nah bro, I cut hole in the bottom of my popcorn bucket stick my dick in it and ask the soccer milf next me if she would like some.

Who is the author of these images? I'd purchase a book of these

No my theater has recliners and I lay back and munch and sip loudly as possible during quiet scenes and burp as loud as possible when my soda comes up.

What happens next?

>not eating the entire gallon bucket of popcorn during the first quiet scene
>not refilling and repeating

>only eats during loud segments of the movie to avoid annoying anyone with crunching
If you don't do this then you're just a scumbag piece of shit that deserves a slow and painful death

a uti

I go to movies alone occasionally and I never do these things

I bring my own snacks from home and stuff them underneath my pants

I sit in the row furthest from the front so I can stretch out my legs and check my phone at any time

I go to matinees where there are barely anyone in the theater and I only go to age appropriate kinos not like cartoons

I like to fart throughout the whole film so people fuck off and move away from me then kick my shoes off and put my feet up

>"sure thanks!"
>*grabs a handful of popcorn*
>*eats popcorn*
>*sits in silence the rest of the movie*

>leaving your house

lel

Fuck i chew only during loud scenes...

But only cuz i hate the sound of chewing, by anyone

This is oddly specific. Sure you are not projection there, kiddo?

>switches phone to do not disturb mode to avoid accidental phone calls even though no one ever calls him
that one hit a bit too close to home

i just gotta keep feeding her till she finally reach it.

Movie popcorn's pretty soft bro. I still avoid eating during the most quiet, emotional scenes tho

Who the fuck can't do silent burping?

who the fuck cant eat a huge bucket of popcorn alone? since it's dark i usually eat the fuckign thing in 30 minutes

>eating a fucking gallon of popcorn in one scene
staying up past your bedtime, yankee?

>movie ends
>take phone out of pocket
>it was on the whole time
>no calls not texts

>tfw I crack open a beer during a quiet moment

I actually get phone calls fairly frequently, but it's almost always garbage (silence on the other end, telemarketers, etc.)

Does your cinema not have a drink holder?

It's not even midnight here

>trying not to make noise
>trying not to kick the seat
>muting the phone

What the fuck,I love virgins now

I rarely get telemarketers. My mom calls me sometimes.

you're not alpha unless you are outwardly inconsiderate of other people's feelings and space

brah

I thought it was established that the virgin walker guy had shitty borderline hunchback posture. It's extremely unlikely that he would be able to fake good posture in the movie theater when he's been slouching all his life. I've tried this. It's very hard to do, and you feel self-conscious that you're not pulling it off.

This is a good attempt, but I feel the examples could be better done. Most likely, this guy wouldn't even buy popcorn. He'd probably eat sour patch kids or nothing at all. He would also definitely drink Coca-Cola because he probably has caffeine addiction due to his shitty diet, hence the skinnyfat physique.

>silence on the other end
Ummm user...

My parents call me to. I have one friend who likes to call, but other than that, just texts/message from people.

but seriously it seems like a i get a telemarketer like every day

i never answer if I don't recognize the number, but this has caused problems on occasion

...

?

>the cow lick right in the center of his hair
every time

>The Not Virgin Cinema Going
>immediately reclines into terrible posture because no one can see him and he doesn't care about posture beyond appearances
>eats during any segment of the movie including very quiet and tense parts, undoubtably pissing people around him off
>buys a litre of coke and mixes it with pop rocks and mentos to intentionally burp as loud as possible
>puts his feet over the seat, preferably around the shoulders of the person sitting in front, and takes his shoes off so everyone can smell his disgusting foot odour
>keeps phone on loud all movie, gets a call and takes it too
>constantly shifts around making as much noise as possible

this is how you should be acting btw

>eating at the cinema
Pure degeneracy. Fucking burgers and their savage customs

...

me on the left

>used to be a chad outgoing teenager
>almost lost my virginity when I was 13
>somehow ended up becoming a huge sperg virgin in my 20s

You should try Studio Movie Grill. A waiter brings you fried food and ice cream throughout the movie.

6/10 could use improvement

this isn't even your final form user :^)

you're a virgin because you waste $20 for 20 cents worth of popcorn

it takes a while to get to the bottom of a 4 inch bucket

The smart play is to actually make popcorn at home and fill every pocket you have on you with it so you don't pay the 2000% markup that movie theater popcorns do.

>mfw on a date at the movies
>She ask for some popcorn
>Take her hand and shove it in my pocket

I'm trying to make a comeback

My hope is that I'm just a dormant Chad

2 of 8

I was a good looking normie when I was 12 and first went to some underage club. Some qt girl came at me and told me we HAD to make out, I got scared and left. That was it, that was the moment, I could've become a chad, but I went the other way.

>skinny-fat belly visible
Delete this.

only guilty of the belly and the popcorn

...

The smart play is to learn to not stuff your face with food for a couple hours.

spotted the beta male

>not a pack of high-fivin' dude bros snickering & throwing milk duds

He would probably also buy his snacks from the supermarket using the self-checkout register to avoid human contact.

That's just a theory though haha

I have an almost non-existent belly now, and my phone is always on silence since I hate phones ringing in any way. Rest I have never done anything close to it

literally me

Fuck you beat me to it, gotta work on my mspaint

>tfw finally losing mine thanks to carb cycling, intermittent fasting and working out during the last hour of said fasts

>going to the cinema
kek. virgin as fuck.

Growing up I had no idea why anyone would ever want or do this.

I still have no fucking clue why it exists.

A lot of these are just being a considerate human being.

it's not the chewing it's the rustling around in the popcorn. even worse if it's something in a plastic packet.

>late to kino
>all easily accessible seats taken
>stand awkwardly at entrance for immeasurable amount of time getting progressively redder in the face while debating whether to leave and let everyone in the theater know you're too scared to walk past a few people to get a seat or risk attempting to get a seat and possibly bumping someone triggering a complete mental breakdown during the movie which is already half over and people are getting worried about you standing there not moving

>Skinnyfat belly visible

post belly

>Lost virginity at 18
>27 now
>Haven't had sex since

Anyone else here have a virgin walk but manspread 180 degrees while at the cinema. I sometimes undo my belt and let my nutz breathe and one time while watching King Kong I accidentally burnt my dick with a pretzel dog

This is too specific. The Virgin Walk one is great because it describes quite a lot steretypicalyl introverted guys, but this one is too dependent on a particular situation.

>skinnyfat belly

Is there a wizard one yet?

I'm sure "The Virgin Sex" will be kino

Everyone's a normie when their a kid unless you have serious mental defects like high function autism or down's syndrome. It just when you mature you realise you were an annoying shitheel that had terrible taste at the time because you were a kid that didn't know shit. Growing up and being more critical about everything is actually normal.

i smoke weed and then just feel weird as fuck in a giant dark room hearing the boisterous guffaws emanating from the darkness around me as we all sit and stare at the large light screen in front of us. such strange creatures we are.

>eating food in the cinema
is this why america's fat?
the most I've ever had during a movie was a bottle of water

>mfw

Anyone who does the opposite of this is a prime asshole and the reason I don't go to theaters. (besides the awful prices)

Jamie pull that up.

This is literally how I sit at home in front of my tv

Whelp I lost all will to live.

>basic human habits
>hahaha le virgins btfo

23 years old virgin here. I never buy food when going to the cinema

this

it was a freak accident and I regret it. Wish I could have stayed pure and honed my magical skills

Virgin and don't do any of this, try harder next time. The only thing that's reasonable is the popcorn thing but I never get it unless if my gf wants it

>silence on the other end
also telemarketers, the silence is supposed to be until your voicemail message ends

>go out for entertainment to enjoy your life
>deprive yourself of a snack
Why do you hate yourself user?

>only

i mean yeah, i assumed silence was scammers or telemarketers or something...

if obesity is such a big problem why don't they sell fruit instead of fat food?

>but seriously it seems like a i get a telemarketer like every day
>i never answer if I don't recognize the number,
I'm a telemarketer, now I'm going to call you 15 times a day until you answer yes

>his theater doesn't have a salad bar

>hole in the bottom of the pocket

does anyone do this? i'm convinced one virgin does these things and just assumes all other virgins do it.

Popcorn is good for you, it's just all the salt and "butter" they put on it that makes it bad.

I'm pretty sure there's a real explanation for this picture and it's not what it implies

I don't do any of these, and some the complete opposite and i'm a virgin

The saddest thing about these pictures is you know the guy that is making them is writing from personal experience to even know that these subhumans do this shit and is getting some weird gratification from people laughing at and reposting them. He's probably stroking his tumescent three inch microdick ITT laughing at all the "keks" he's getting while in reality we are all just making fun of him and making up stories about being virgins when you know 99.999999% of us aren't actually virgins. Sad!

The "virgin walk" image worked great because it was a combination of
>things everyone does
>things nerds sometimes do
>things the guy who created it obviously did

This one doesn't work because it's just the third one