How do you keep from crying?

When I was in 4th grade I went to a new small school. Nobody but the but the shyest kids would deal with me. I war bored and bullied brutally. They would make up songs about how I had no friends on camping trips. I learned that psychological torture is worse than anything physical. I dropped out of College, more kids who hated me. I'm a fat gay jewish neet now. While other kids are in grad school or hiking up the career ladder I'm wondering if I'll be homeless when my parents die. Normies telling me "just get a job!" "Just finish college!' Doesn't help. Why was I chosen for such a life?

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youtube.com/watch?v=rZoD8JEFjAE
youtube.com/watch?v=vSdbQLXpmPQ
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twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

As the tears and the feeling of sorrow swell up, I remember I am a man

This was meant for r9k. Plz no ban.

Is this a quote from something or are you describing yourself?

Jesus christ user I didn't ask for that feel. But yeah I can relate to you bro.

Sorry, me. Meant this for r9k.

I feel like I'm on the verge on crying everyday, but not that watery eye crap. You know how they get really dry and sore just before the waterworks? Every fucking day.

I just remind myself that I'm in a public place in front of friends, family and strangers and focus on the actual important shit, like why am I out of the house to begin with.

Honestly, I only cry at anime character/animal deaths on tv and sometimes when I'm singing to myself on the way to work in the morning because I guess I really get into the song and its emotion.

Life can be horribly unfair at times and take from you everything that made you happy.
Life can also feel very hopefully and you can end up feeling lost, adrift, directionless and alone.
The truth is you can only accept how things are and either give up or carry on.
You can also choose to try and change yourself for the better and increase your overall chances of having a better life but of course thinking of doing such things is far easier then literally doing them and giving into despair or apathy is a much easier route and the route of less resistance.
I am sorry you've had such a shitty life. I do not wish suffering on anyone really.
I hope you eventually find yourself a place in this world where you can find some peace, happiness and stability. Where your fears and unhappiness can ebb and where you can be one with things.

damn that old guy stalks a lot of people. and that pic of that abo is disturbing. its lower left on the wall

very hopeless*
fucking typos

I remember this one moment from college. It was maybe 2 weeks into school, and I had specifically picked a nerdy college in hope my social fortunes would improve. I'd gone to all the frat parties first week but they had to carry me home drunk one night and used that as an excuse to ostracize me.

I remember all the cool kids were sitting in someone's room and the door was locked and I knocked and asked to come in and they pretend as if they couldn't hear me. It was at that moment I knew that College was going to be just like high school. I guess I tell people there were all sorts of reasons I dropped out of College but really I just wanted more friends and I was lonely.

Luv, did you loose your tampon?

Be a fucking man for gods sake or do you need scissors to cut of your balls?

I'm a gay guy so does it really matter?

Change your diet change your mind

Take supplements

Stop being a faggot. Nobody ever liked me either. You know what I did? I hated them back.

I feel you man.
Loneliness can be one of the toughest things to accept especially when you've never had many friends and never really had a period of high self-esteem.
My advice might be to stop caring so much.
Caring too much and thinking too much can drive a man insane.
I once read that the thinking mind is a disease and I think there is some truth to that.
Sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and stop thinking. Stare into the void and accept it for what it is and then see where it takes you.

I never really wanted to be violent towards others. Maybe I thought I'd write about experiences but nerdy gay kid gets bullies seems perhaps too cliche.

There is someone out there who will accept you and love you.
I was pretty popular in my late highschool years and I still ended up getting into a relationship with some weird kid online who had been bullied throughout highschool and was always an angry outcast.

He hadn't had a friend for years and he had no self-esteem.
Still I ended up meeting him, talking to him and I ended up falling in love with him and I helped him get mentally stable again and redevelop his self-esteem.
I mean in the end he ended up having a breakdown and ruined everything but the point is if he found someone you can too.

Wait so you are gay or what? Where is he now?

I grew a backbone around 6th grade, told myself I wouldn't take their shit anymore, learned martial arts to defend myself and then basically made them fuck off on my own. I learned that I owe nothing to nobody, and that my life is what I make out of it. I don't need friends to be happy, though they certainly help in making you happy, you should ultimately be self-sufficient, and not depend on anyone else, nor care about what they say about you.

You are not your past. You had a shit time, that it sounds like. You probably don't have much initiative and you probably have little desire to do anything but you can always improve. Make a vision for what you want out of life and start working towards that every day.

Check out "psycho cybernetics," and zero resistance living, take the information in that and run with it...

I thought it was more important to be the better person than to be violent back to them. I'm not sure if, long-term, I made the right decision.

Jews are fairly resistant intrinsically to new-age brainwashing so at least I have that.

become calloused and dead inside.

Crying is degenerate. Take your sissy thread back to your sissy board, sissyboy.

I think I am but I still have an inner romance.

youtube.com/watch?v=__x8CYAVMbk

Use your Jew connections to get a job or off yourself pls

Just close ur eyes and think of England

you have alot of estrogen in you!

:3

Perhaps... and I don't know.
We haven't been in touch since the breakup and we live in different states (was long distance at first and then we got together for awhile).

>post not political thread on Sup Forums
>being a whiny botch on Sup Forums
>being gay on Sup Forums
You done goofed, OP

So you both are dudes? So you led him on and then he had a nervous breakdown? This is literally what I fear someone doing to me.

Well lucky for you there's a simple solution. Just keep complaining and it will solve itself.

I honestly intended to post it on r9k, I had both boards open in separate tabs, I'm sorry.

It only works if you have enough willpower to do it, otherwise you just have to do it the 'easy' way and isolate yourself emotionally (not physically), but not enough to become a sissy crybaby fag who only thinks about killing himself.

You can go from having zero friends and a virgin to being a social butterfly with a beautiful girlfriend in a short amount of time

There is usually something simple causing you to constantly fuck up. I found out that the reason I wasn't able to get laid was a so-called friend turned out to be a sociopath who was contacting girls I met and smearing me with the sole purpose of denying me sex.

I wasn't suicidal just lonely and wondered why it was all happening. This was my theme song in middle school. I'd stay home from dances knowing nobody wanted to really see me there anyways and listen to this:

youtube.com/watch?v=rZoD8JEFjAE

What are you smoking?
I never led him on and he always knew I was a dude.
I treated him like absolute gold from beginning to end and never once wronged him.
He was the one who fucked me over after years of unconditional love, support, sacrifice and even for awhile at the beginning putting up with horrible abuse when he had breakdowns.
No one else in the world would have stayed in that relationship for very long but I truly felt love for him so I took it.

You could be a female. I just wasn't sure from your first post. I don't want to be someone's challenge, ,someone's charity project.

youtube.com/watch?v=vSdbQLXpmPQ

90sfag, I didn't ask for these feels

Could have sworn this was from 97/98 though

>I don't want to be someone's challenge, ,someone's charity project.
He wasn't either of those things to me and I never planned to change him nor thought I could.

>everywhere I went all the way from 4th grade to college, everyone seemed to hate me

Mang I dunno if it's just me, but maybe there's something you keep fucking doing that keeps setting everyone the fuck off.

Do you have an annoying speech impediment? Do you act retarded?

Are you simply just annoying?

If you're annoying, then try to teach yourself to shut the fuck up. You don't have to squeal out every thought that flutters through the cave of your skull.

If you objectively inspect yourself or your personality, then frankly the issues may be deeper than cosmetic.

>Im gay

Don't like what you fap to? Find a drug that trips you the fuck out while listening and/or watching some hetero sex. This will at least make it easier to change the memetic disposition of what you fap to.

Don't like the fact you're a fat fuck? Go to the god damn Gym then, or simply even just go for a walk every day for a good hour or two. Stop eating everything you see. Stop drinking soda completely. Go to /fit/

Don't like that you're a jew? Become agnostic, or move onto another religion that appeals to you.

Don't like being a neet? well, all you can do is get a job, even 7/11 will work.

Save up for college, and go back, this time only to work on school, not to play videogames, or jack off at any random party that you somehow manage to get invited to.

If you aren't willing to improve your life then you're better off an hero'd

If you're white, life's not that bad, work harder and things will slowly turn around. If you're a shitskin then tough luck.

>why was i chosen
Because you are the chosen people?

kek

Sad and pathetic. Man the fuck up, god knows society needs it, its not just you.

>implying nigger lives are inherently more difficult than white people's lives

White people's lives are only slightly better than a nigger's in that we grow up in a good neighborhood. Everything you do post high school is easily your fault; nobody chooses what you do beyond yourself.

This was my theme song in high school

youtube.com/watch?v=AI4lzeHQduE

>Constantly being discriminated against because the majority of your race are niggers
>Slightly better