You will never be Italian

>You will never be Italian
>You will never wake up in Milan at 11 AM
>You will throw on your wifebeater and cold chains, trim your mustache, and eat your pasta for lunch
>You will never go outside and argue with a guy in the second story window by flailing your arms while screaming
>You will never be as responsible for WWII as Germany and pretty much get away with it
>You will never quietly gossip with your friends about who you think has mafia connections
>You will never drive one of those really tiny European cars

feelsgood.jpg

>ywn live with your mother until you turn 36
Oh wait

I'm 30 and my mother still dresses me, so i'm basically Italian

>Julius Caesar feels basically like a mythological creature to you but Italians can say they're related to them
>French people can say they're related to Napoleon
Just what is there to me? Pelé?

The Monkey King

From what I've heard they're adult children, lol no thanks. I wonder what would happen if you put an Italian manbaby in an apartment in a medium sized city, he'd probably try to walk back home lol

>be italian
>wakeup at 3 AM in milan because a brawl broke out at the local train station migrant camp
>cant go back to sleep because i hear broken glass and looting all night
>mom wakes me up at 3 PM
>start looking for a job since im 33
>end up following german tourist girls around for 2 hours trying to hit on them
>get into an argument with other sh*talians over who gets to stalk them
>give up, drive my 1986 peugeot back to my apartment, literally driving over mounds of garbage to get there
>family was human trafficed by romanians
>start collecting welfare on their behalf

>The Monkey King
Sun Wukong?
> I wonder what would happen if you put an Italian manbaby in an apartment in a medium sized city,
Like Milan?

I wish but I'm not chinese

Good thread

Have you ever sent someone to sleep with the fishes?

I want to be Italian too! It felt so cool walking into a shop and have them speaking Italian to me until they realized with disappointment I didn't understand a word :|

>Milan
Implying I want to be dirty p*lentone. If I'm going to be italian I prefer to be a pure blooded terrone.

Have you been following me?

10/10

thank god

underrated

Hello my fellow italian brother

I have one of those tiny yuro cars. I like to drive it at the speed limit in the fast lane and watch normies rage.

>mfw I will never be an italian

>You will never be American
>You will never wake up in New York at 11 AM
>You will throw on your graphic tee and baseball cap, trim your neckbeard, and eat your burger for lunch
>You will never go outside and have a shootout with a guy in the second story window by discharging your deadly assault Glock while reciting the pledge to the USA flag
>You will never let German and Japanese war criminals get away with it as long as they contribute to your own WMD programs
>You will never quietly gossip with your friends about who you think has cartel connections
>You will never drive one of those really large American cars

I wish I were Italian too, instead I live in a shitty one-room apartment, wake up at 6:30 in the morning, work ten hours per day and see my mother only for Christmas. Guess that makes me German

Literally me