Character masterbates

>Character masterbates
>uses lotion

Isn't it sad that guys with mutilated dicks have to use lotion to masturbate?

When did the using lotion to masturbate trope even come from?

Has anyone here actually tried it? Seems like it makes the cleanup more than twice as annoying

>having to use lotion to masturbate

"B-B-But girls prefer it!! (virgin)"

Yes. Americans have to pay to masturbate.

It's the only way jews know how the bate', so that's how it's portrayed in video

HOLY SHIT
>jews own big petroleum and big lotion

i think you mean JEWS

I hate this meme

I'm uncut, but to me it's more pleasurable to jerk off with saliva

I don't even like to make fun of them for it. It's sad really. Makes me mad really.

really?
can't they masturbate without?

the deepest redpill.

>tfw you use pussy to masturbate.

>female genital mutilation is worse than Hitler
>circumcision? that's good, in fact we're going to spend millions on an NGO dedicated to go around cutting baby penises

>tfw cut but have enough foreskin to stroke down like you uncutfags
That kike bastard thought he got me, well turns out I got him!

Nah it's just a bad meme. Have never used lotion in my life.
>inb4 lol jew
My foreskin was removed for medical reasons when I was 6. I don't give a shit.

>ITT fags who don't spit in their hand and then masturbate

>character masturbates
>doesn't remove his pants and place them on his seat
>doesn't get minimum 15 tabs prepared
>doesn't shift in his seat for optimum ergonomic positioning
>uses tissue instead of a rough store brand paper towel
>doesn't spill cum onto his hand because the budget paper towel comes in half sizes
>doesn't immediately take a piss to wash his urethra

This

I've always thought it was really strange whenever it happens in movies.
I've never had to use any kind of lube. I enjoy the warmth and friction that happens when doing it dry.
Also, why do they always have a box of kleenex or something when they do it in movies?
I just lick it off my hand

Uncut myself but your dick must absolutely stink.

Goy here. I masturbated without lotion for the longest time before I even considered using it.

I'm cut and i honestly don't understand how a person could be cut so tight they have no moveable shaft skin.

I didn't even know it was possible.

Unfortunately they can only masturbate with the aid of lotion and "socks" as they put it. Do you ever notice that in American popular culture, they make jokes about masturbating into old socks? This is because socks are a good device to hold loads of lotion at once without making a mess.

Also a thing to note is that men with cut dicks usually have weirder fetishes. This is because in order to climax, they need extremely bizarre pornography to properly ejaculate to.

like really, picking the right porn is the most fun and can take hours.

>character is genitally mutilated
>he isn't Jewish
the fuck?

jew tricks

lmao
everyone quote this guy and laugh

3/10. Tired meme retort.

It's what happens when a jew does it. If you actually get it done by an actual doctor/surgeon your dick's fine.

>men with cut dicks usually have weirder fetishes.
Not doubting you here, but i'd really be interested in a study of this.

>Character masturbates
>Doesn't have a thirty minute pre-masturbation ritual where he sacrifices several squirrels in front of his waifu shrine
>Doesn't burn himself with cigarettes to remind himself of the pain of being incapable of holding her in his arms
>Takes longer than a minute to climax
uhhh?

yeah what the fuck. i'm cut but easily jerk it dry

Not an argument dickcheese.

DUDE

>men with cut dicks have weirder fetishes
pretty sure it's more about not having a gf than your dick being jewed or not

>dickcheese
nice meme, sport

Thats what happened to mine.
It wasn't a religious thing (my mom was racist as fuck and hated jews) but apparently it was more a medical thing because I was born with my foreskin basically fused together with no hole for the dick to come through.
So its like i'm cut, but i've still got plenty of skin down there to work with. Its like the best of both worlds and I love my dick.

>cum eating instructions

>character masturbates
>doesn't get completely naked, jump on his bed, place a pillow where the bed meets the corner of his room, position himself in the center of his bed, lunge forward and then quickly roll backwards with his body now directly above him and being balanced with his legs against the walls, begins to furiously stroke his cock until nearing climax where he stares at his dick with his tongue out waiting for it to shoot out all over his face BUT then bitches out at the last second, lowering his legs and body back down to the mattress and cums on his belly like normal before going to the bathroom, cleaning up, putting on his clothes and carrying on with his day

I wish I could. I actually hate lotion, it feels unsatisfying. I cum hard with a decently soft cloth wrapped around it and it has its own cleanup.

I feel like I would hurt my dick a lot by doing totally dry and just a hand.

There's different types of circumcision.

Jews take more skin than average, and Muslims take even more.

2/10. Consecutive use of tired meme retort.

How hard is it to clean the fungus off user?

>character doesn't masturbate to some really weird porn and then upon climax look ashamed and wonders why he got horny in the first place

>because I was born with my foreskin basically fused together with
You know the glans is always fused? It seperates later.

dont have any, goldstein

>it's a Sup Forums doesn't understand that the act of grabbing lotion is a trope to make it clear to the audience what's happening episode

this board is so fucking retarded, no one actually jerks off with lotion unless a girl is oiling you up before she titfucks you down

>Used to be able to get 2inchs of my dick in my mouth using a similar technique
>After stepping up my exercising and building up abs, I can't reach any more

>character browses ladyboy porn for hours
>doesn't feel instant regret upon climax and force himself to do it again to solo girl porn just to prove that he's straight

fucking hollywood

>tfw uncut
>never used lotion

>minimum 15 tabs
That's cute

>character is looking at solo female
>doesn't lose his erection and switch to BBC or trap pron to finish

>Americans don't do everything like it is shown in the moving pictures

>>doesn't immediately take a piss to wash his urethra

mahnigga.png

>character masturbating
>semen isn't shooting with full power into the tissue but hitting at such a weird angle that it richochets and goes everywhere in the room and on his glasses
>character doesn't need 4+ tissues to clean up the mess

I produce more milk in my balls than a cow
cumstains everywhere

that makes two of us
goy uprising soon

>character masturbates
>he doesnt edge himself for hours only to ruin the orgasm

>tfw foreskin is scarred from too much masturbating
>developing into phimosis

what means if it leakes out like syrup?

>when somebody finds your crusty cum tissues

>old cummy pair of socks mysteriously goes missing
>turn up in clean washing a few days later
>mum went through my stuff, found them and decided to wash them

>not destroying the evidence

I flush the tissue as soon as I'm done. Simple as that,

hol up seriously? Ive always wondered why people use lotion in movies

>implying

Lol no. I'm cut and never use lotion or spit.

nigga how's phimosis even real, just peel your dick

>not using a towel and throwing it in the washing machine as soon as you're done

nigga wut, i've jacked it at least 3 times a day for 10 years and my dick is fine

>no replies
You're right tho

>that episode when the main character realizes his room reeks of cum but he's so desensitized that everyone can smell it but him

>little sister asks me why my room smells so weird
>starts digging in my trash

this is mainly why I don't fap more. if there was no smell it'd be at least every day.

>pissing habits threads goes down
>this lives

It's kinda interesting to know private quirks of people honestly.

This

>tfw fap on friends couches at night after he's gone to bed
>once casually asked if I'd ever madturbated in his house
>'no'

I just cum onto myself and wash it off afterwards. Why waste a perfectly good sock or tissue?

If it gets to that point you might as well grab her ass and make her yours right there on the spot.

>user, do you blow your nose on your clothes?
>i found some really dirty shirts of yours under your bed all covered in snot, i washed them for you :)
>y-yea haha thanks mom

this. Remember the episode of Seinfeld where being uncut was the most bizarre thing in the world?

DELET
i-it's just sweat

>tfw you wake up to your friend fapping at your computer
>close eyes and go back to sleep

>side characters playing truth or dare
>mc quietly leaves the room and pretends to be busy doing something else
Damn that was harsh to watch

muh negro
sometimes i don't even wash it, why bother?

>character uses tissues to clean up
>doesn't simply pinch his foreskin at the moment of climax and walk the cum-poach casually to the toilet to dump it

Enjoy your uti

>fap with baby oil for years
>find out its been slowly shrinking my dick

gg life

This is one of the moments where you think you finally have something ONLY YOU DO and then comes a post like this, bravo user

>Character masterabates
>misses the tissue and stains his t-shirt
kek every time

What why

>This is because socks are a good device to hold loads of lotion at once without making a mess.
I'm uncut, but I do this to make cleanup easier. I just jizz into the sock and throw it into the laundry basket for when I do my laundry. Where else do I jizz? My m-mouth??

This is literary me, expect i use toilet paper and i keep my pants on most of the time.

>character cums
>feels nothing

I'm uncut, but still use spit as lube sometimes when jacking off, especially in the shower. Feels amazing man.

>women get UTIs on a weekly basis
Must suck to be you, roastie.