Make a wish, ruin a wish

Lets get this over with shall we

Make your wishes... Three wishes anons, doesn't that intrigue you, just a little?

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first of all. I wish that my subsequent wishes have no unintended or perceived ill effects for myself or anyone else and their effects are limited to within that which I would in fact wish for, because they are called "wishes"

secondly, I wish that all remaining ill effects of my wishes be transferred to the granter of my wishes as though he had in fact wished for them, and furthermore that they be multiplied in effect by 1000x.

Lastly, I wish for infinite wishes

>Lastly, I wish for infinite wishes
you become a Djinn, you know live in a gem for eternity only leaving when some faggot brings you out to grant wishes, the results of which cause you 1000X more pain than they do the wish maker

I wish all Jews and Muslims are teleported directly into the center of the sun. I don't need any more wishes.

you didnt specify who has control over your teleportation, so the Djinn decides where you teleport and its never pleasant

Same goes for size shifting

you are indestructible but still feel pain, which you experience to previously unbearable amounts for 24 hours
then you die

*BZZZ* I'm sorry, that's incorrect! The granting of wish three violates the articles laid out in wish two. Please rectify this immediately or face immediate action.

I wish that you get a nice house and family, motivating you to stop screwing up people's wishes

The Djinn, who is the one who interprets the wishes- doesnt see being made a Djinn as an ill effect, in fact he doesnt see anything he does as an ill effect, rendering your petty attempt at security useless

I wish for you to have a legal document that forces you to explain, in a perfectly clear manner, the terms and conditions of each wish before it is made so that everyone who encounters a Djinn is fully aware of the consequences of a wish before they end up confirming their desire to wish for said wish.

>attempting to ascribe shit like modern documentation or explainable consequences to the actions of the Djinn

Dont fuck with me kid, just make your wish

>a wish so good even the djinn can't fuck it up

>being made into a powerful djinn is bad
Really a matter of a opinion, but only the djinn himself knows what it's like.

they will take 4 years for each wish to come true

Same exaxt wish, but a Djinn lawyer instead of a human one.

Gotcha, Genie!

He would just teleport the earth into the sun.

He needs to keep me alive to try and drag more wishes out of me. Luckily I can't survive in space.

>Requesting a Djinn lawyer to act on your behalf

Hello Mr. Djinn, my first wish is for 1 million dollars. No make that 1 BILLION dollars. My last wish is for you to be happy.

....fuck.

*BZZZT*

Wrong again! Pursuant to article one, wish one:

>I wish that my subsequent wishes have no unintended or perceived ill effects for myself

- as the original wish maker is subject of the sentence in the initial article, reference is made to them when gauging the "unintended and perceived ill effects" and not the wish granter; in other words, the illness of the hypothesised effect is to be judged by the standard of the wisher, not the wishee. I'll see you in court.

I wish

>I wish each wish is considered seperately
>I wish each wish is calculated with its absolute value
>I wish thousand fewer wishes

He just ignores that last one...like he did here He doesn't want happiness...why?!

I wish to be beaten half to death

The Djinn grants you 1 billion Zimbabwean dollars, 500 USD are deposited into your bank account, the money was also stolen directly from Mugabe's personal account, hes now coming to kill you
You made the Djinn smile, what's your next two wishes?

...

I wish you'd tell me exactly what Djinn want.

I wish you never ever get that.

I wish to be immune from any ill effects of the third wish in regards to my soul.

Eat shit.

I wish I knew why Robert Mugabe, a man with a net worth of 10 million dollars, is coming after me for stealing 500 dollars.

I wish I had a sausage pepperoni pizza to share with you djinn

The djinn grants your wishes then reminds you that you just wasted all three wishes trying to trick him.
Then he takes your soul for trying to trick the djinn.

I wish you had your favorite dessert in your hand right now

>Your body is slowly mutilated over 70 years.

youtube.com/watch?v=4fvzPOQRRxw

KINO.

>I'll see you in court.
Judge Djinny Sheinlend presiding

I wish to be magically turned into a young blonde bimbo teenage slut with a huge rack, really short, and was really ditzy and submissive and is constantly horny and wanting sex.

That's not how it works faggot, learn the lore. The Djinn wants someone to make three wishes so they can come through into our dimension. The second wish prevents that explicitly. Therefore the third wish is entirely pointless and could be anything because the Djinn is caught in a time paradox where it must constantly stop itself from granting a third wish.

It's iron fucking clad.

I wish that OP would stop sucking cocks

HAHAHA! BET YOU WANTED THAT FUCKING DJINN LAWYER NOW, BITCH!

Granted.
But the only guys attracted to you are black

Also you said that you wish for infinite wishes, but not that those wishes are yours to spend. So now you have infinite wishes, yes, but infinite wishes to grant, without ill effects for you as wish one, and the occasional 1000x one if someone somewhere along the line fucks up the wording as for wish two.

Being made a djinn is a bit of a stretch, but a bit of a stretch is what the djinn does, and your wording allows that.

OP now only sucks one cock for the rest of eternity

next wish

I wish that Dougie stops being retarded.

I marathoned these a while ago, and while they're all obviously cheesy, the first two are so much better than the others (both story and the guy playing the Djinn).

The first two, the twists on the wishes made sense and the end trap in the first one was great. The 3rd one, right away the Djinn grants the dude's wish that 2 hot chicks love him and start making out with him, then they just kill him. No twist, no trick, not even a "Love hurts" quip or pun. Then the 4th one is just some weird pseudo-love story thing which makes no sense.

Watch the first and second Djinn movies, then just end it.

I remember seeing Djinn show his dick in one of the movies when I was a kid. Did that really happen or was is just a fucked up childhood dream?

I wish that you knew that.

But I also wish that you forget, every time you try to tell someone the answer.

1-I wish the ability to take back a wish and re-try if I don't like the end result

2-I wish you fail to accomplish whatever your true goals are

3-I wish to be the unbeatable ruler of the human and djinn kind for eternity

D-did I do well, Djinn-sempai?

The first Witchmaster had some really GOAT effects, Andrew Divoff was great as the Djinn.

how did they fuck up the sequel so bad with fart jokes and that lawyer fucking himself
jesus

*looks a Jinn with a cocky smile and say nothing*

Because of wish 1, wish 1 and 2 don't count.
You get wish 3. You become trapped int he "body" of a metric system ruler and are unbeatble at chess but can't even play the game because your soul is trapped inside a fucking ruler.

>everything I want is free for me (houses,cars,services)
>ability to manipulate my appearance
>immortal and indestructible until I choose to end it myself

I wish for my next wish to come true.

I wish for my previous wish to not come true.

I wish to be a big guy

>Because of wish 1, wish 1 and 2 don't count.
But why? Only I can take it back, and I would have another try. Even if the first one doesn't count, the second one should, so it would be a lose-lose at least. And what if I make the third wish in my native language instead of English?

I would wish to summon Taylor to my side for help, noone can trick the evil snek.

Wish already granted, Dougie is dead. Cooper is the one who is retarded, he's not really Dougie.

You are now an invisible ghost with the ability to destroy yoursef when you want.

Have fun changing your appearance when even you can't see the result. Have fun not being able to use and touch anything you could have for free. Have fun being indestructible (nothing can harm you you intengible faggot) and immortal you dead sucker.

>The ability to shapeshift into anything living (including a younger, healthier version of myself) without killing myself in the interim phases or because I don't know biology
>Guaranteed $800,000 relative to inflation per week for the rest of existence
>Ability to rewrite memories without ruining someone's mind or life (unless I want it to be ruined)

and?

1. I wish for all of my wishes to be grant exactly as I intend them, with no ironic twists or unforeseen problems to make the wish bad.

2. I wish that it wasn't against the rules to wish for more wishes.

3. I wish for more wishes.

Not that user, but that doesn't sound too bad to me. I can stalk and peep on anyone I want, then destroy myself when there is no cutie left to secretly watch naked.

All considered, I think I'd just

- As the first wish, ask for him to be honest and upfront about all the intricacies and sub-rules of his powers and wish-granting,

- Talk terms with him and basically surrender creation to the djinns as long as he lets me enjoy my second wish, he's an immortal and I'm basically giving what he wants, no reason to fuck me over.

- As a second wish, basically wishing to be almighty as in "I can do whatever I want whenever I want", be it fucking bitches, being rich and famous, having superpowers, whatever.
Probably using his honesty by first wish to word it with a "Fuck me over and you're trapped again" catch, but again, he has already won by then.

- Once I'm bored with my many centuries of almighty life, just wish to become a djinn as well and let's raze this reality to which I have no ties anymore.

You can't fap. You intengible and invisible even to yourself.

Fuck, it's intAngible. I guess my wish to not be dumb had ironic results...

Still fine. You can go watch people with interesting lives, witness A list hollywood people's big secrets etc. It's not like staying in your room, shitposting on Sup Forums is much better.

Your eyes and ears are also invisible and intangible. You can't see or ear the physical world.

DJINN'ED

>. I wish for all of my wishes to be grant exactly as I intend them, with no ironic twists or unforeseen problems to make the wish bad.
Granted
>I wish that it wasn't against the rules to wish for more wishes.
It's against the rules to wish this, ad infinitum. and your memory gets erased every time you try to wish for this. You are now stuck in an infinite loop and die.

>implying I wouldn't want to be a pretty girl sucking on BBC
>implying i want tiny white dicks

Djinn fails.

Sounds comfy af.

Thanks Djinn.

Your brain is also intangible and invisible so it doesn't work anymore. You're not dead, but you're not alive either.

You COULD have everything, you COULD destroy yourself, you COULD change your form. But you don't. Because your brain is not working.

1. Give me all of your exact powers with none of the limitations. I want your exact skill set, to be able to bend the universe to my will, just like you. No turning me into a genie or trapping me in your rock or only letting me use my powers when someone makes a wish or any funny business like that.

2. Fuck off I'm putting you back in your rock, dick.

>Teleports you to an otherwise vacant earth-like planet

Thrying to go above the powers of a Jinn with a wish is a sure death sentence by whatever entity gave the Juinn these powers in the first place. You can't ask for more power than the person and his powers can grant you, you cuck.

I wish to be omnipotent

So I'm just like a cloud floating around, no worries, no nothing, just comfy nothingness.

>You COULD have everything, you COULD destroy yourself, you COULD change your form. But you don't. Because your brain is not working

That sounds like a typical user. We could go to gym and get fit, go work and make money to buy expensive cars or houses, or just kill ourselves but we don't have the balls and are too retarded to do anything with our lives other than shitpost on anime image boards.

user is the only one who can defeat a Jinn?

Talk about your underdog winning the day story! WEW

Butthurt genie detected

You already are. God is everywhere.

Next wish.

>2
Doubt he cares about x1000 effect of fuckery he'll lay on you.
He's omnipotent after all.

...

If you can't grant it then fuck off faggot. We have nothing left to discuss.

If you don't wish, he'll just kill you.

If I'm already omnipotent then I kill the djinn

The Jinn is God too.

i wish for my next wish to be exactly what i wish for with no unintended side afffects

i wish to be my ideal futa

i wish for world peace

Hire a lawyer and make each wish like 10 pages long so that there were literally NO room for any fuck over.

That'll do it.

1-I wish physical, mental and spiritual immunity to the effects of Djinn's powers
2-I wish to impregnate Djinn and make him give birth to our cute human-djinn hybrid baby
3-I wish that the humans and djinn kind would live in peace and happiness

>show up at your work etc
That's how he forced people to wish in the first place.

Yeah well now he's gone nigga do you know what omnipotent means?

kek

The Jinn gives the lawyer some jewels so he lets him fuck you over.

>immortal and indestructible until I choose to end it myself
Oh you're fucked my friend.

Ah, with that kind of logic where he can fuck you outside of wishes your actions are renderred pointless.

The Jinn chose the definition: God, instead of the more common "all powerful, etc."

Jinn are autistic like that.

You are God, but dcan't do shit with that fact. Like everyone else.

so he cops remaining ill effects in order to spite you, good job retard

Now you get it.

DJINN'ED

Thing is I don't remember him to intervene like that.

When you play with a Jinn, you just can't win. Represent, yo!
-Jinnathan O'Dickwad

I mean, it's not hard to make a wish that the Djinn can't give you ill effects over. See Wishmaster 4, where the chick goes "I wish an Angel would protect me". That's pretty vague, I'm sure if you thought about it you could fuck around with it, but instead the Djinn just shits his pants.

>See Wishmaster 4
Worth it?

So, I only watched the 1st one, is Djinn defeated in the last movie? If yes, how?