How do i be a functional alcoholic

how do i be a functional alcoholic

Forget women.
Be happy.

vodka in water bottle
gum

When you are drunk, make sure you are in control.

I mean in control of your drunk self. I wouldn't drive though.

stop drinking entirely

y

never touch booze again or else the demon will slowly but surely pull you down into failure and misery. you will be living in an inescapable hell if you continue down the path you're on.

I hope pic is unrelated, Shia is a nice young man.

According to the movies You have to basically be a genius when not drinking that is tortured so much so that being sober is unbearable and the liquor just takes the edge off.

1. be alcohol
2. be function

In the short term you can

Start by drinking until typsy to get your day started as well eating something, do as much productive shit in the morning or if you have work or study go get that done, after work drink more till you feel good, cook a dinner when drunk (it's quite fun) and then drink until you pass out, wake up and repeat

In the long run, your liver will fuck up on you. You will feel sick all the time, have no energy and withdrawals might kill you

Be a millionaire who can afford to destroy his liver and still pay his bills

Don't drink the liquid jew.

>how do i be a functional alcoholic
Learn how to force yourself to get up for work, learn how to just keep enough vodka in you to keep the withdrawal shake at bay during the day. force yourself to eat well, and stock up on the vitamin B-12's, also Valiums and gravol (for emergency withdrawal) Works for me.

You will have no memory. Your liver will feel sore in the morning. You can "function" at the absolute most unless you handle it.

I'm confused by the question

Are you already a drunk that can't function in day to day life?

Be Jim Lahey

Have you watched Flight too many times?

the only way

Yep I've been there, I mean I wouldn't recommend it to anybody but if your gonna do it this is the way to go. Also keep plenty of Prilosec OTC and Ensure around just so you are getting enough calories and attempt to keep your stomach lining from getting ulcers

>functional
>alcoholic
>pick one

only drug abusers will tell you otherwise. Most of which have a low standard for "functioning" anyway

You can't.

They may start out functional but they all fall into deeper depression gain weight and become complete slobs.

Just drink occasionally.

I'm just glad I throw up a little whenever I take a whiff of vodka. Former AA. Good luck, friend. I know the struggle.

Drinking is fine if you can handle it. It can get out of control easily if you do it regularly or let it follow you home and you're no longer social drinking; but just drinking alone. I had to quit, I liked it ALOT.

Also don't drive a car, idgaf about killing people; but it will wreck your shit with how expensive it is, getting busted for it.

Weed is better IMO as a daily use/maintenance.

I have a job and my doctor says I'm an alcoholic

Does that make me a functional alchie?

He, this was me a week ago. I saw my self falling into that habbit, looked in to the mirror with disgust and fucking changed myself this week. Having some wine now. I am going to go out to the bars and hit on some college pussy. I promised myself I won't drink if I have work the next day. I knew I had a problem because during my detox, my fucking hands itched like a mother fucker, my room was a mess, and I had a puffy face. I was also eating like shit.

I love booze man, but I must go hard only when no work on the next day.

Drink vodka, just enough to get a good buzz but not enough to get you hammered. Go to bed early every night and get to work on time. Drink vodka on breaks and lunch.

>Yep I've been there
Yeah I just dug out of a 3 month daily drinking stint (had 2 weeks holiday). Managed to taper of with just beer, gravol + about 100 valium over a week. Haven't had a drink for 4 days now, and finally back to normal. I don't recommend for anyone (in Canada anyway) to voluntarily go into detox, by law now, the take your drivers licencee as soon as you get out, and it is a fucking bitch too get back. It's gotta be the stupidest thing ever to take someones means of productivity away as soon as they sober up.

Is Shia red pilled?

Switch to grass.

Get your shit done during the day and smoke in the evening. I would be an alcoholic without it, guaranteed, I blew my appendix out last year, and get constant acid reflux, but only drink if I can't get some green.

The health risks are far lower, idgaf if I am called an addict, I can get my shit done then enjoy my evening.

Just drink when you can, not when you want. Pretty easy.