Why are there no good conservative comedians?

Why are there no good conservative comedians?

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youtube.com/watch?v=4sIg9nphOk8
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Who is this? He has such a punchable face.

Conservatism doesn't breed artists so while they exist, they aren't as common.

alt right comedian steven crowder

Because doing the right thing is no laughing matter user. By definition, Conservatives cannot be funny.

The whole concept of "humor" stems from absurdity and degeneracy.

A good comedian needs to be open-minded, which is impossible if he's conservative.

conservatives are retards

>Comedian that appeals to the far right crow
>yer gawds an elephant? well no wonder you smell like shit! HAHAHAH BOO YAH!

>Comedian that appeals to the far left crowd
>So anyway earlier I did promise you a proper, conventional joke so here it is. I admit it did not take long to craft but it's a suitable end for a show. Want to hear this joke? Okay here is the joke. We elected President Trump. Thank you everybody, goodbye.

As soon as they are "funny" or "edgy" they suddenly are not considered conservative any more.

Rush Limbaugh is funny. People talk shit but his radio show is very entertaining.

/thread

>As soon as they are "funny" or "edgy" they suddenly are not considered conservative any more.

This is true, the conservative bubble is very sensitive

Conservatives are legit cunts.

Because having high trait industriousness, agreeable and openness are a rare combination, having high openness and agree-ability and low/moderate industriousness is far more likely, hence very few con comedians (even fewer that are good)

...

>so I was standing in line at Whole Foods the other day because oppression, when all of the sudden the evil dominating make patriarch began assuming my gender and I was all like, "women's rights" and "gender justification"! Ammirite ladies?!

*takes shirt off*

>yeah! Fragile male egos are getting shattered tonight! Take a good hard look you suppressive men, this is reality and you caused it!

>alt right
>steven crowder

Pick one mate.

awful lot of reddit in this thread

the alt-right wished they were as extreme as KKKrowder

I've watched a little bit of his stuff. He's funny sometimes.

>reddit space
>conservatives
>the right thing
>The whole concept of "humor" stems from absurdity and degeneracy

>When I couldn't get ahold of cigarettes, I'd roll coffee grounds into typing paper and smoke that and then vomit.

Were you proud of yourself when you clicked "Post"?

because comedy and poverty go hand in hand

>Bill Engvall
>Jeff Foxworthy
>Bill Cosby
Not really my taste in stand-up comedians, but you can't deny that they're good.

Conservatives, by nature, don't think out of the box. They're the ones who want things to stay the way they are.

That's why most media members, actors, and comedians are liberal - you have to have an open mind with this shit. Otherwise, you're some vacuous cunt on Fox News or Sean Hannity obsessing over Trump's piss video. Or, a literal autist photoshopping fake magazine covers and putting them up to brag about.

fuck, I forgot to close my spoiler tags

Jeff Foxworthy maybe, but really? Bill Engvall?

No one likes Bill Engvall. You could have used Larry the Cable Guy or Nick Dipaolo... but fucking Bill Engvall. JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.

...

no :(((

Larry the Cable Guy is one of the worst comedians ever. Fucking Doug Benson tier. I'm not a fan of Bill Engvall personally, but Here's Your Sign is a classic old white people comedy album.

>literal who
>GOLDEN CORAL!!!!!
>Rapist

Choice picks, m8

>the Sup Forumstard can no longer contain his laughter

>Larry the cable guy is world famous and known to kids everywhere because of Cars
>HERE'S YOUR SIGN

This is why conservatives have shit taste in humor.

not very open minded of you

I'm convinced this man is gay by his looks alone and there's nothing anyone can say to change my mind.

Jews are the moneymen, jews are "progressive"

>rapist
>jury didn't convict
really makes you think

Why couldn't you have said Ron white? He's the only funny one out of those.

>Larry the cable guy is world famous
Jeff Dunham and Dane Cook must be the best comedians alive.

>Conservatives, by nature, don't think out of the box
>Who is Newton

So OJ didn't do it?

>Ron White: Cruz and Trump are “Unqualified” to Lead America

Is he really a conservative? Ron White is definitely the funniest, but he seemed out of place on the BCCT.

Both are better than Bill Fucking Engvall. Holy shit.

Greg Gutfeld is a shitty comedian but he has the best show in late night

The dude is a drug addict who drinks fake scotch. I never understood why he was part of those guys aside from his accent.

Nick Dipaolo is probably the only good Conservative Comedian, followed by Anthony Cumia and based Gavin.

>Newton
>conservative
Not necessarily. He was part of the Whig Party, which was opposed to the Tories.

>the moneymen
>comedy

>the moneymen
>not the audience
This is why noone takes Sup Forumsddit seriously

Wasn't Newton and autistic NEET?

How many times does this thread need to be created, then some guy points out that conservatives won't even be hired for comedic roles then someone says oh yeah /thread do we need? lol

>liberals
>open minded
Sure, I like how they call anyone who doesn't agree with their forced agenda a nazi. Very open-minded.
>Otherwise, you're some vacuous cunt on Fox News or Sean Hannity obsessing over Trump's piss video.
So you're saying that liberals DON'T obsess over Trump? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

He probably buttfucked men, too. Who cares, it was 400 years ago.

Now, I don't mean to go off on a rant here but when you've got millennial pinheads who haven't seen this blue rock of ours turn enough times to impress the gestation of a fruit fly complaining about a dearth of conservative comedians with the naked obliviousness of Mr. Magoo adjusting his spectacles while wandering around the highway, you've got problems my friends. But can we really blame the children whose knowledge of the comedic Yggdrassil only sports low-hanging flash in the pan branches like Louis CK, Dane Cook and Patrice O'Neal when today's kids have been so thoroughly robbed of intellectual agency by an underperforming school system that you'd half-expect to see the four humors being included on the next Common Core exam making the rounds on Facebook? A generation who with pride that would shame Alexander as he looked upon all his conquered works, admit that the majority of news that they consume is gained from comedy shows? And I use the term 'comedy' looser than Helen of Troy by the time the Greeks stormed those walls. No, we've only ourselves to blame. We see the stupid shit on their blaring screens like Rick and Morty and we turn a blind eye because the thought of telling them to watch something with a modicum of intelligence in it would mean having to listen to them justify the quality of the show in their broken understanding of what passes for English while you sit there silently wondering who built another Tower of Babel and just when the hell did it fall?

Imagine what autistic NEETs could be doing today if not for the evils of anime, video games and internet forums.

>using the word based unironically
>liking "gaping anus" Mcinnes 20minute rants why women shouldn't be allowed to like star wars
That's 2 of 2 reddit

Most actually good comedians don't talk about their political views. There are probably quite a few good conservative comedians that most people just don't realize are conservative, like Norm Macdonald.

> like how they call anyone who doesn't agree with their forced agenda a cuck. Very open-minded.

>so you're saying that liberals DON'T obsess over Hillary? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Don't let American oddities in politics skew you on the overall Human dichotomy between conseravtive and liberal nature.

>Everybody has seen this thread before, like me
>No exceptions

Stop it.

Steven "feels like a mess if he ain't in a dress" Crowder

(((Producers))) are not interested on them

Fuck, imagine if every genius autist in history had been corrupted by anime and video games? If Newton had minecraft we might never have gone to the moon.

>I like how they call anyone who doesn't agree with their forced agenda a nazi.
Not really. They only do this to the far right and other insane nationalists.

Look, either the Jews are obsessed with money or their social agenda.

They're all comedians since conservatism is one 1000-year-long joke that we are just now hearing the punchline to with the Trump administration.
you're retarded if you found this funny or true [/spoiler{

...

Newton spent years analyzing the Bible and looking for hidden messages.

That was the Minecraft of the 1600s.

>sports low-hanging flash in the pan branches like Louis CK, Dane Cook and Patrice O'Neal

Here, you have successfully baited me.

Many comedians, at least the good ones, keep their personal politics to themselves. Sure they can rip on whoever's in charge but that doesn't automatically make them liberal.

But did he photoshop custom Time covers to post all over his room?

>Producers
>comedy
WE WUZ FUNNY N SHIT DA JEWS BE HOLDING US DOWN
Newsflash sweety: Outside your subreddit screaming cuck and poo in jew isn't funny or clever

But he never started writing fanfiction about Mary pegging Jesus like a modern autist would.

Just imagine what would've happened to Kierkegaard if 2D waifus had been an option.

That and alchemy.

He wrote fanfiction about the Bible and the Apocalypse. He was a full fledged autist.

He even learned Hebrew, like how Weebs learn Japanese to better understand anime.

At least reading required some mental effort and he wasn't spoonfed his fantasies like autists are nowadays. Imagine if autists had to really study and research to understand the plots of their harem fantasy. If Newton could just find some wiki about the bible and call it a day, we would be fucked.

>ignore American politics in this discussion about American politics
Are you retarded?

Newton stole many things from Ibn al-Haytham.

>Conservatism doesn't breed artists so while they exist, they aren't as common.
Believes all blues musicians come from the Delta therefore the Dutch Masters never studied under patronage.
>doing the right thing is no laughing matter
>"humor" stems from absurdity and degeneracy
Aren't Liberals doing the right thing while accusing Conservatives of absurdity and degeneracy?
>open-minded
That pendulum swung years ago.
>conservative bubble is very sensitive
I walked through blood and bone.
>Conservatives are legit cunts.
Unhhh, I can't get no respect.
>comedy and poverty go hand in hand
I laugh at poor people constantly.
>Conservatives, by nature, don't think out of the box.
We own the boxes you live in. Oh my, I just peed a little typing that.
>Nick Dipaolo
/thread
Vietnam Fucking Shits ... classic
>Ron white
+1

Guys, post your hilarious communist comedians please. They must be the absolute pinnacle of comedy.

>Why are there no good conservative comedians?

America where?

If Newton could just wiki everything about the Bible, then he would have spent more time doing shit that actually matters. Not sperging out about Atlantis and the precious dimensions of King Solomon's tomb.

Yes, Hebrew could contain all sorts of forgotten lessons and ideas, instead of learning Japanese so you can understand porn without reading. God fuck anime

Says the guy who gets offended by "Happy Holidays"

Cry more faggot.

The first redditor?

>not jacking it to the song of soloman

n33t

literacy is apparently pretty rare too

He voiced The Brain on Arthur.

>Bill Engvall
>Jeff Foxworthy
I think those guys actually might be considered lefties by the current american right. Pendulum's swung a little ways since the BCCT days.

>Says the guy who gets offended by "Happy Holidays"
Liberals shaming the manic depressives yet again.
>Cry more faggot.
Liberals are truly friends of the LGBTQXYZ community.

Why would you say there are no good conservative comedians, then post a good conservative comedian

What the fuck does Hillary have to do with the dfact that conservatives are generally humorless cunts?

I think those would be considered centrist. In 2017, when people say "conservative", they mean "foaming-at-the-mouth warhawk nazi militia capitalist", and when they say "liberal", they mean "transgender bleeding heart sjw ecoterrorism marxist". Or something thereabouts. Basically, if you're not willing to scream constantly about your politics, they don't count. When the OP asks about "conservative comedians", he's not asking about Norm MacDonald.

By that definition there are no good liberal comedians either, in which case the answer to OP's question is "because comedians who base their act around politics are shit."

>by definition
>louis ck
>kevin hart
>marc maron
>eddie izzard

Sure, kid.

>louis ck
despite the memes, he doesn't constantly scream about his politics
>kevin hart
>marc maron
>eddie izzard
>good
wew lad

youtube.com/watch?v=4sIg9nphOk8

All those sell out large stadiums.

We can add Big Amy (joke thief), John Mulaney, Hannibal Buress, Jim Jeffries, Bill Burr, Aziz Ansari, Patton Oswalt, etc. Preferences aside, they are highly successful comedians.

Unlike Bill Fucking Engvall.

Is that a Patton?

Is Bobby Kelly conservative?

What about Nando Moura?

>despite the memes, he doesn't constantly scream about his politics
Whew, lad.