The director of the last movie you've seen will direct your death irl

>The director of the last movie you've seen will direct your death irl
How fucked are you?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=0Z0w6d8HVi8
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

>Edgar Wright

At least my death will be cool and wacky.

>John Hughes
80s kino death incoming

I was just about to post Edgar Wright. Looks like we'll both have cool and wacky deaths.

Does porn count?

>Larry Clark

Huh, at least I'll probably die having sex

No idea I haven't watched a movie in over five years. I'm only here for GoT and actress threads.

>Jordan Peele
Well I'm white so def fucked.

Proof that GOTfags are pure cancer.

>Tarankino
My death should good

>Jordan Vogt-Roberts

I guess it will have king kong and ancient chinese in it, or something, literally who ?
I thought it was a peter Jackson movie.

>The Cable Guy.
So, Ben Stiller...

>David Lynch

WRAPPED
IN
PLASTIC

>Malick
This is alright

>Bresson
He already directed it

Greg lansky

>Terrence Malick
feels good

>David Fincher
Another thriller/drama kino incoming boys

>Michael Bay
It gon be expplodey

>John McTiernan

Guess it'd be nice and sober in a hollywood way.

you'll probably get shot unceremoniously after listening to a psycopath rant about his favorite cartoon show for 3 hours.

Top pleb

But im perfect for the cartoon guy role

then you'll get shot in the back of the head after ranting for 3 hours about magilla gorilla or something.

>explode
>deliver monologue about how family is important and I did everything for the family to all my anime dolls
>make one last heroic action that stops the bad guys and saves my family
>family

>real human bean

Looks like Im going back to Missoula

I watched Jack Reacher 2 last night so I guess Tom Cruise beats me to death with a cast iron skillet or something.

Michael Bay is a great pleb filter, really separates those that actually care about cinema from failed english major pseudos

man it was such a downgrade from the first

Ridley Scott

I'm okay with this.

You're a replicant.

>Charlie Kaufman
Probably die a slow and meaningless death

>Ridley Scott
Same.
I don't think it will make much sense but my family will pretend it was patrician and shill out for a big funeral.

...

>M. Night Shyamalan
I was actually alive and everyone else was dead the entire time

Most of his flicks don't have any depth, they're mindless special effects extravaganzas. Tons of normies who don't know shit about cinema love his flicks because they're the definition of lowest common denominator trash.

>watched Jeepers Creepers last night
Guess im getting raped to death, thanks Vic

>depth
>mindless
What do you mean by these?

I think you are just a conceited and very shallow viewer, you lack an understanding of the fundamentals of appreciating cinema.

>takashi miike
F u c k m e

David Lean

Epic 4 hour death.

>Patty Jenkins
slow painful and deeply embarrassing.

Ye-yeah, totally man
Whatever you think about him I also think

>Sam Raimi

>David Lynch

I'm SO fucked.

Worse, you live a slow and meaningless life.

His flicks are just action orgies. The characters are annoying cliches, the plots are pretty basic and there's nothing going on beneath the surface. I'm tired of you vulgar autists, you're pretentious normies who think babbling about cinematography will distract people from your shit taste.

>The characters are annoying cliches, the plots are pretty basic
Not filmmaking
>there's nothing going on beneath the surface
Tangentially filmmaking, but you are still doing a very poor job of defining your terms and defending your viewpoints, you demonstrate exactly the lack of regard of and understanding of cinema I expected.

...

>Troy Duffy
I've been a good boy

So Bay's terrible characters and predictable plots are fine because "MUH FILMMAKING"? This filmmaking babble is just a really pretentious way of saying "I like the flashy visuals". Like I said, you're a pretentious normie.

>Haneke

I'm fucked.

John Carpenter

Some horrible monster is out to get me and there ain't much I can do about it... at least the soundtrack is kicking!

whoever directed Cold Mountain
so it will probably just be a quick shot to the head from a confederacy sympathizer

Jim jarmusch so it will be in black and white and Tom waits will probably be there

Train to Busan is the directors only big thing so I'm about to get fucked up by some zombies

fucking kek, underrated post

>Sergio Leone
I don't think I could have asked for a better director

Bernardo Bertolucci, so I'm gonna get raped by Marlon Brando

>Robert Altman
It turns out I wasn't actually dead at all.

>Yorgos Lanthimos
I guess my death will be some kind of absurd dark comedy that most people will just find weird and stupid but a small group of people will find both brilliant and hilarious

>Sam Raimi
some weird monster is going to eat my soul and make paste out of my body, or possess it

gonna be kino

which cut of your death should I watch, I heard the one with your narration is pretty shit.

>Phil Lord and Chris Miller
At least it will be funny.

How does he get away with it though?

>how fucked are you?
Dead. You're a moron and so is anyone who replied without saying as much. You should all consider suicide, if only to save your parents any more shame and disgust about their (probably incestuous) spawning, which they decided not to drown, against their better judgements.

>Elem Klimov

Could be worse!

Oliver Stone
I died in some conspiracy cover up by America

Theatrical cut gets you the death scene but you'll have a couple hours of build up that won't connect and you'll be confused on whether my dad was the killer or not.
The extended cut will show you that my dad and the killer actually aren't the same characters and the actors just look similar, and you'll actually see the motive development and the police report scene at the end is going to tie it all in, but that's five hours of your life you're not getting back all to find out that I was into my mom and that she can't pull off a foreign accent for shit.

It is not about the destination, but the journey there.

thoroughly.

Star power at its worst

>Terry Gilliam
Whatever it is it's bound to be funny and absurd enough to be memorable.
I'd take it.

>wearing the same shirt that he wore to jonathan ross that he also wore whilst someone snapped the pic of him sucking a minors toe

youtube.com/watch?v=0Z0w6d8HVi8

quentin quentin quentin

>M.Night Shamarmallama

I die and it's an amazing, spectacular even, death and I get to see people crowd around me as I lose my grip on reality, thoroughly impressed...
And weeks go by and gradually the people who saw my death start to realize that it was nothing special and maybe even a few onlookers question why they'd ever think I was cool.
No one comes to my funeral except my parents.
The flames from the crematorium creep up my nose and wake me up mid-incineration and no one ever knew what could have been. But it probably wouldn't have been much.

I'm alright with this; his work isn't poetry but it's still better than 80% of the other stuff out there.

What movie are you referencing?

>Refn

There will be a lot of neon lights

There'll be indians in my funeral.

Alexander at the end,

...Alexander was Oliver Stone not Ridley Scott

>Twin Peaks/ David Lynch
>I get killed and "bite the bullet, beebee."

But that film was directed by Oliver Stone.

what would a scorsese death look like? preceded by a rise and fall story?

My ex-girlfriend actually met him in a airport bar; he was in-between flights and having a drink. She said he's super laid-back and funny; he bought everyone in the place a round.

I believed her since I'm the same way until some asshole starts bothering me or getting in my way then I flip the fuck out on them just like him.

I don't know about how it would look, but it would sound like Gimme Shelter

kek

you're right

Go to bed, John.
Also checking those dubs.

>narrated by someone that knew you, and is the real main character.

kubrick

how fucked am i?

Get ready for a lot of sweaty chicks kicking your ass!

+1

I hope Symphony ofSorrowful Songs plays over my dead body

>Nicolas Winding Refn

I'm not as handsome as Ryan Gosling, so those long, still shots of my dead face would be less appealing, but at least the music would be great.

>Paul Verhoeven
Calling it, I'm going out like Murphy in Robocop.

>John Wick 2

Sweet, I get to be a faceless, no-name thug who gets shot in the face 8 times then stabbed in the eye with a pencil.

At least it'll be well choreographed.

Me too.
I expect a cheesy vampire or alien creature to drain my blood, while that sick ass soundtrack plays on.

>John Lee Hancock

I'm ok

>Jared Hess

Am I immortal, or will I die off-screen? Either way, I'm ok with that

>Wong Kar-wai

all i know is it'll be kino