>be me, average Sup Forums user
>graduated from college with an international relations degree because I'm retarded
>no work
>got to law school because I'm still retarded
>still no work
>killme.jpg
>I am 24 years old and I am living with my parents
>preping to just move out and kill myself
>my mother has an uncle who works in shipping between the US and SE Asia
>speak Chinese, so I reach out to him
>after some ching chong negotiations, I get a job
>parents are so happy
>feel good for once in my life
I felt the need to use a trip because there's a few stories that go with this. Whilst you have no reason to believe me, everything I'm about to tell you happened.
>ff I'm now 26, holy fuck this is not the job I thought it was
>working on shitty little shipping boat in the ass-end of the South China Sea
>it is PISSING down rain
>been living like a fucking stowaway for two years
>essentially live out of a metal box traveling with the cargo, do the paperwork and make sure the crew doesn't steal shit
>literally the most illegitimate business ever
>began taking my beretta with me because nobody fucking knows I'm on this thing aside from the crew, and we've had pirates in the past
>Christ, I don't even have a passport
>do we even have insurance?
Usually, shipments go well. We pull into the shadiest ports at 3AM all the time. I'm pretty sure I'm smuggling meth. I know I'm my sort-of uncle's useful idiot, but quitting is for pussies and millennials and I have something to prove and nothing to go back to. Fun stories to follow
UnluckyCapitalist#1209395
Oh, fuck the trip.
>be me, last week
>having an existential crisis from a shitty motel in Cambodia
>oh, I forgot to lock the door
>walk up to the door and lock that bitch
>look out the peep hole just out of curiosity
>fuck.jpg
>the bitch from the reception desk is in front of my door with two dudes in masks
>one has a hammer
>she was an inch away from opening the door
>she tries to use her key
>rack the slide on my beretta loudly
>watch them look at each other
>they walk away quietly
>grabbed my shit and got out the fire escape, get back to the fucking ship and sleep in a shipping container
>be me, last month
>10PM, docked in Singapore
>sleeping on the boat because I'm terrified of being caught by authorities
>hear weird clanging sound
>go out and see some kids climbing onto the ship from their tiny boat
>one kid's turned around helping his friend up
>grab him by the hair, he freaks his shit
>drag him around a bit and push him off
>look down and his friend has a machete and is screaming ching chong speak at me
>point my gun at him and tell him in Chinese to go fuck himself
>they leave
>next day, crew gets back from drinking
>we sleep there one more night because the fucking idiots from my company haven't processed all the paperwork or some shit
>having a smoke with the crew members I actually like when we see those kids again
>this time there's more of them, and one has an AK
>more of the crew comes out and we're all pointing at them and talking
>this probably scared them off, don't know what would have happened if the crew wasn't there
>there are faggots on Sup Forums with enough unwarranted self-importance to treat this site as their blog
Keep goiing OP or you will be a faggot for not delivering
...
Type it all out in Notepad next time, fug.
That gif
Continue OP don't be a faggot.
This had better be finished when I wake up.
Bumping
dude you have the greatest life ever. you are a literal pirate.
problem though: you're in r9k bitch hermit mode even though you're traveling the world.
your new job is to be either loved or feared by everyone.
AK in Singapore. Smells like bullshit.
uh, how?
your country is a prostitute filled, gang-ridden shithole
how is the world most mass produced assault rifle in the eastern hemisphere NOT a common sight
OP, dont you die on me
>inb4 walk the dinosaur
Jesus. Are you at least getting paid well for risking your life and living in boxes or whatever?
op is getting shot at by chink kids with AKs
using metal shipping box as cover
bless you you god damn faggot
Capitalism is about profit and loss, if you bail out losers there is no end to a cost.
You can do it my man.
It's a slippery slope. As soon as the paradigm shifts from opportunity and equality to subsidization there's no coming back. It can only get worse.
The liberal movement is long dead.
post more idiot
Perhaps this put him off...