/tpg/ - Twin Peaks General

Dance Edition

pastebin.com/Zi0MW4bz

Meanwhile:

Other urls found in this thread:

dailydot.com/upstream/david-lynch-twin-peaks-porn-parody/
youtube.com/watch?v=RlJ2PS0qtYc
youtube.com/watch?v=gKGREf7wDdc
youtube.com/watch?v=uOJFhKriSH8
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Let's CUTE!

/tpg/ is already dead after only 51 days. What a joke of a series and fanbase LOL

Has anyone seen the Twin Peaks porn parody (Twin Cheeks)? If so how good is it?

OFFSCREEN CRIMES OF DOPPLEGANGER COOPER

>Murdered Major Garland Briggs, beheaded him, raped his body, raped his head and burned his office down
>Raped Audrey Horne while she was in a coma after the bomb at the bank, first with different parts of a dog, secondly with Major Briggs' decapitated head (She had a son, Richard Horne, the guy from the bar who later runs the kid over with his truck)
>While in the hospital pissed on Pete's corpse and shit on the parts of Andrew Packard they could salvage after the bomb blast
>Jaywalking
>Raped and murdered Donna while forcing James to sing "Just You and Me"
>Raped and shaved James
>Raped Harry and then shoved 90 pounds of RICE up his ass along with two gallons of BLEACH(that's why Harry is sick and dying)
>Raped Little Nicky
>Raped Dick Tremayne
>Instead of paying his speeding tickets he tracked down and raped the police officers
>Mounted a dogs head on a pole after raping and killing it and chopped off all its legs to use as a crude message delivery system
>Litters constantly
>Yodeled at then tortured, raped, and murdered Annie and then used her head along with Major Briggs' head as bloody sock puppets to reenact the opening scene of the Dark Knight Rises
>Humiliated Diane and then raped, beat and abused her after going to her house shortly after leaving the lodge, forced a dog to rape her as well before dismembering the dog and putting parts of it up her ass and leaving her traumatized
>Never returns his library books
>Coerced poor truckers to read books on Tibet before beheading then raping them
>Executed and raped a FBI agent in Columbia after Albert gave Jeffries the name and then dismembered his body to make into a dancing manikin with dog parts and Major Briggs' head
>Does not pay his taxes

THIRD FOR dOUieg

OFFICIAL WOMEN OF TWIN PEAKS POWER RANKINGS
(Original Series/FWWM Only)

1. Audrey Horne
2. Laura Palmer (Actual Hair)
3. FWWM Donna Hayward
4. Shelly Johnson
5. Norma Jennings
6. Jenny (Horne's Perfume Counter)
7. Eolani Jacoby
8. Josie Packard
9. Teresa Banks
10. Lana Budding
11. French Girl (Hap's Diner)
12. Giggling Secretary (Deer Meadow Sheriff's Department)
13. Denise Bryson
14. Maddy Ferguson=Laura Palmer(Wig)
15. Ronette Pulaski
16. Caroline Earle
17. Heba Thorsdottir
18. Annie Blackburn
19. Jones (Eckhardt's Assistant)
20. Margaret Honeycutt
21. Blackie O'Reilly
22. Lil The Dancer
23. Lucy Moran
24. Catherine Martell
25. Eileen Hayward
26. Julee Cruise
27. Evelyn Marsh
28. Betty Briggs
29. Gwen Morton
30. Nadine Hurley
31. Vivian Smythe Niles/M.T. Wentz
32. Heidi (German Waitress)
33. Sylvia Horne
34. Louie "Birdsong" Budway
35. Donna Hayward
36. Margaret Lanterman/Log Lady
37. Sarah Palmer
38. Mrs. Tremond/Chalfont
39. Irene (Hap's Diner)
40. Curious Woman (Fat Trout Trailer Park)

>I don't like black people, that's why I don't cast them.

what did he mean by this

If you already know the name why don't you watch it yourself ya turd

Best Donna checking for Dubs

I can't find it.

Reminder that David Lynch is a genuine good person and NOT a serial rapist and killer. He is NOT those things.

You ain't fooling us, David.

This revival of the beloved show should never have been.. Try to remember the cool flow of the first two seasons, and then imagine turning the speed to about 5%..

It's like walking under water, I completely understand how this is supposed to make me feel, but it's just so overdone that I want to rip my nails out just to feel something.

We are constantly introduced to to new characters, none of which are very interesting, and most of them don't seem to have anything to do with the story (if there ever was any). It's just a big mess of weird dialogue and loooong scenes with absolutely no content or context whatsoever.

It might be wrong mentioning the word unrealistic in regards to this show, but why the hell wont anybody just take Doug to the effin' hospital? He's been shuffling around like a complete imbecile for days, weeks maybe (it feels like months) and not his wife, friends, boss, the police or anybody seems to think that it would be a good idea to have his head checked, this is actually the most annoying detail to me at this point.

I am currently on Episode 5 and I feel like I HAVE to power through this in awe of the first two seasons, but it feels like Lynch is ripping me off. The show is a complete waste of my time, but I have to keep going to see what happens (if anything), it's very painful.

If it's the one I'm thinking of then no, they didn't even get a blonde for Laura that's how last they were. I just try porn actress image searches in hope I'll find one that looks like them.

you can't find it because it is in the DEEPWEB. And it is there for a reson. And that reason is NOT that is a real tape were all of the actors are coerced by David Lynch into performing disgusting and humiliating sexual acts.

L

david lunch lol

Whoa. It's true!

dailydot.com/upstream/david-lynch-twin-peaks-porn-parody/

We'll lynch did get asked to direct a porn spoof of tp so could it be true...

yeah now try waiting one week for each episode

>muh first two seasons

If you don't like it stop watching, quit complaining like a child because Lynch didn't just do the same thing over again.

GUYS.
So, in Shaggy's blog, the "read my older journal entries" plays the theme and more music with static. It's pretty much advertising for the soundtrack.
But did anyone else notice the dialogue that has randomly on songs? You can barely understand them because of the static.

Has anyone cleaned it up? I missed the first days of fucking around on the site.

>either suck Lynch's cock or shut up stupid goy

How can I learn to dance lads? I have no rythym or feel the beat

So is Laura really the midget's cousin? how does he fit into the Palmer family tree?

>put on music
>get in front of mirror
>dance
You'll get the hang of it eventually

I AM NOT YOUR FOOT

...

I'm genuinely afraid Jerry is going to try to cut off his foot in the next few episodes

Don't do drugs, kids

>johnny horne, shitposting from the dead
is it past or future?

BIG

BLACKED

DICK

is s3 the samurai flamenco of television?

youtube.com/watch?v=RlJ2PS0qtYc

>kids
Don't call me kid

>my opinion is official because i wrote it in all caps

L O L

Ever watched the movie The King and I?

what about... uh... Jade? or... or the guy who introduced NIN at the roadhouse?

fuck you're right, lynch is a whites only directer for the most part. wonder if he's a legit racist or if it's just coincidental

Log Lady deserves a higher ranking and the fat alien lady from episode 8 should be 41.

this is copypasted from reddit right

imagine that instead of that chair it was your face haha

Then I would have a really big face

>what about... uh... Jade?
she is claimed

weed doesn't make you hallucinate. there's something more than drugs going on with jerry.

Then her butt and babyhole would be near my faec. : o

>why doesn't Lynch cast black people in his films about small town America

hmm I wonder

Based

I'm fairly certain there was also a black cop or something in one of the first seasons.

>I wanted to get your read on one Agent Preston scene at the end of Episode 4, where she walks away and the camera follows her as Agents Cole and Rosenfield look on and comment on her appearance appreciatively. What does that mean for you?
>I have to admit—I’m personally kind of also a lover of the feminine form, and have almost, like, driven off the road looking at a woman on a bicycle. I have the same thing within me. And so when I was reading the script, you know, and Tammy walks off, I was like, “Oh my God, I get to walk off?” It never occurred to me that people might take it in a different way. I myself have always had really great father figures and personal, sensual, healthy relationships in my life and with myself. So I thought this was just a sweet moment. Tammy is such a badass, and is also dressed a certain way. She may be sensitive to her power as a woman, but her power as a woman is not what is at the forefront of who she is. It’s the power of her mind, and how she can figure things out and work a room. She’s just kind of built how she’s built, and she knows what she knows, and it all works together to be, you know, a pretty powerful force.
>And I think women get to appreciate the human form, and it’s not seen as being lascivious or objectifying. Like maybe if there was a man who was ogling a beautiful woman—like I do sometimes—it might be taken the wrong way, but because I’m a woman who sees it as like appreciating, you know, art of a form. I see it as a compliment. At the end of Episode 4, it was like a bunch of concrete, and then you’ve got a woman walking away. Seemed like the natural thing to do, but I’m kind of a weirdo.
Ok, I'm starting to warm up to Chrysta.
>PLEASE BE OFFENDED WITH US
>"Nah, I look good. Get over it."

so tpg gets sucked into the tp universe as a FBI agent knowing your in s3 but only on one condition; you cannot help hawk nor get involved with subplots other than that you can do what you want. What do anons?
>Go to r&r dinner and get cherry pie and coffee
>Tell Shelly if she doesn't suck my cock I'll make Leo come after her
>Arrest James and steal his bike
>Call for jade for two rides
>Track down au revouir simone
>Fuck all of them in the hotel

woah, nice woman indeed

he doesn't say laura is his cousin
he says she is his cousin
and they both say that she isn't laura

#40 claimed

you might be a sociopath

This is very good but Laura Palmer's cousin with the black hair with glasses is #1 for me. Fair skinned brunnetes with over sized glasses are my thing

yeah when they are in the french-canadian brothers apartment, there is a black deputy walking around

There are several black actors in Lynch's work. Most are just small parts though.

Get pie and coffee from the dinner. Hunt down and kidnap Audrey (if she is even alive).
But she feels like Laura when her arms bend backwards.

pretend to be an FBI agent who can't hear very well so Shelly will kiss me

>But she feels like Laura when her arms bend backwards.
No. She feels like she knows her but her arms bend back

She got what she deserved for breaking those glasses

Fake News

I always wonder what that meant. Clearly that wasn't the Doppleganger Laura, so was it just that time is so warped in the Lodge that she didn't remember her own identity, kinda like how Coop's a tard now?

Nobody deserves to be BOB'd, user

Samefagging here but forgot
>Pin down best Donna and cum on her eye brows

You wanna play with fire, little boy?

What would your twin peaks porn name be?

Bobby Biggs?

Agent Nail Pooper?

Kneeland Ramher?

>Nail Pooper

Ben Horny

Wtf why are you flicking matches at me! and why don't I find this behaviour unusual.

>youtube.com/watch?v=gKGREf7wDdc
DOgie carry the ring

Juicy packard

Wanna play with BOB?

That depends, have you washed your hands.

Do we know the taglines for the upcoming episodes? I was certain they were on the wikipedia page but now I can't find them.

No_

I wanna be BOB'd

Just my type

NINE FUCKING EPISODES LYNCH NINE FUCKING EPISODES

Are you implying that's good or bad? We didn't even see Audrey yet.

Give me the spin-off

Which one was bullied by the other two as a kid?

>Part 10: Laura is the one
>Part 11: There's fire where you are going
>Part 12: Let's rock!
>Part 13: What story is that, Charlie?

Don't know the rest yet.

/tpg/ is already in the TP universe

Then you're going back to Missoula Montanaaaaaa

Uncle Leland, NO!

Why is Shelly so low? I'm a fan of FWWM Donna, but she shouldn't be above Shelly.

...

me on the right

>Serious face
>Smug face
>Smiling face
These guys are resemblence of tpg

Is there ANY truth to Michael's allegations?

>Ladies and gentlemen. The Roadhouse is proud to welcome: "The Death Grips"
youtube.com/watch?v=uOJFhKriSH8

>left discusses the show and leaves no stone unturned
>middle posts Lynch and/or MJA theories and LYNCHED
>right posts memes

This would make a cool Sup Forums banner.

No (Yes)

I'd make it, but I can't find the font user they use for twin peaks.
Also
fusco boys
Fuc boys

Yes. Lynch is really a Jewish pedophile who murdered people.

Helvetica

>using the old version of the pastebin
t-thanks, man

It kinds of repeat the Heidi character though if you go with general shape and behavior. It could be good if they somehow meet in Twin Peaks and fall in love with each other, but else they're a bit redundant.

Thanks user.