Norm Macdonald Reaches Out To Artie Lange Following Latest Death Scare

Comedian Norm Macdonald has reached out to Artie Lange, who is in the hospital after undergoing emergency surgery.

Macdonald pleaded with Lange, saying, "If you need money I'll give it to you."

Lange's latest death scare comes only months after cops found heroin and cocaine in his vehicle.

"After Chicago gig I collapsed. I had emergency surgery. All the blow & H I've done for yrs blew hole in my nose & landed in my chest..." Lange tweeted Saturday. "It was infected. I was hours from checkin out. They ripped open my chest and got it all. I cheated the devil for the hundredth time."

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youtube.com/watch?v=Bgq5nW8Arf0
washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2016/02/11/watch-us-watch-the-super-bowl-with-norm-macdonald-and-his-mom/?utm_term=.359904d7a3b1
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

can anyone admit to doing illegal drugs over social media and get away with it or just celebs?

>If not for yourself, for Kate Upton

holy effing kek that's funny. You get it? Because Kate Upton isn't in a relationship with Artie? hahaha classic Norm. so funny xD

Norm should stay the fuck away. Honestly. People do smack you have to let them destroy themselves.

No, just celebs. Even the shit ones get away with "probation."

>reaching out to your suicidal friend on twitter

>implying he didn't pay for that whore to fuck Artie

>effing
>hahaha
>xD
just nuke this shithole already

I didnt even know he was still alive tbqh and i'm kinda a fan

also this

this

lol u mad haha :D

depends on how bored the cops are

epic

what if artie was ignoring his calls and texts

let the fatfuck die already it's what he really wants anyway.

since when does Norm have money? Also what is Artie going to learn at this rehab he didn't learn at the 20 previous ones?

Norm is a multi millionaire

...

Who and who and who? Is this even Sup Forums related?

It's also fine if you're a nigger. They can brag about selling and doing drugs on twitter, if the cops do anything it's considered "racist" and "discrimination".

this is also true of guns

youtube.com/watch?v=Bgq5nW8Arf0

Everyone has been trying to help Artie for the past 15 years. Nothing has worked. He's a lost cause.

This is why Howard Stern prohibits him from being on the show.

Knowing Norm he doesn't even own a phone. He can't even drive

This might be the dumbest shit I've ever read

>friend
why would you remain friends with a weak minded addicted bitch
LOL
idiots

Maybe this will be the first step to getting a sequel to Dirty Work

Norm was clearly only "reaching out" to Artie so he could make the Kate Upton joke.

Because the "heart" is retarded and doesn't give a fuck about logic. Stop being so edgy and maybe one day someone will care unconditionally for your well-being and happiness too.

Maybe a respect thing since they share the same craft and just knowing each other for a long time

Norm Macdonald desperately searches for a new way to keep his name in the news

I love norm and that's a fine friendship gesture but doing it on social media for cheap praise like this is really undignified. A man doesn't bring attention to the fact that he is willing to help a friend in need and give money, you do it quietly and privately and expect nothing in return. Because that's how male friendship works.

2BeeFairee Artie was probably not answering any emails/texts/phone calls from Norm and norm knows Artie is still posting on Twitter

Really

he seems to be the opposite to me

I think he just thought the Kate Upton joke was funny.

>beetlejuice will outlive artie

norm is a good boy

as we know, addicts love public shaming and generally respond well to it

no he's not. he's addicted to gambling, he has lost all of his money multiple times. he saved enough money to live in a small apartment and rake care of his mother who lives in a apartment next door.

washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2016/02/11/watch-us-watch-the-super-bowl-with-norm-macdonald-and-his-mom/?utm_term=.359904d7a3b1

>rake care

well he is a leaf

>Artie outlived Sam Simon, Kenneth Keith, Joey Boots, Eric the Midget, Nicole Bass and Blue Iris
>Betty White was right

>he has lost all of his money
lol no

it's time to think outside the box with Artie, there's nothing to lose, he will be dead in under 2 years if he doesn't stop.

Might as well try public shaming

He still makes residual payments and has some semi-popular content faucets that haven't run dry.

Probably not making enough to live downtown, but could live well enough in staten

Norm is for sure a gambling addict but he still makes a comfortable living from his standup and occasional commercial and movie appearances. The times when he claims to have lost all of his money were when he was still on SNL.

He lives in Los Angeles.

>LOOK EVERYONE, I"M SUCH A GOOD FRIEND
These people should burn

>giving money to a drug addict
that's a great idea

He meant helping him pay for rehab you dumbass.

guns aren't illegal and some states have open carry so you can do whatever you want. chimpcongo doesn't allow illinois to have open carry though

Maybe this fat unfunny piece of shit can just die already and everyone else can move on?
>member Beer League? That was a little funny right?

Norm is a Twitter fiend. He also uses periscope pretty regularly.

good point... fuck you for being reasonable

Norm isn't Adam Sandler rich but he still earns a mid-six figure salary every year.

Plus it's not like Artie's addiction problems could be any more public at this point.

Hey now
Can we make this a stern thread? I listen almost daily.

>earns a mid-six figure salary every year.

He has literally lost more than 6 figures in a night betting on basketball

Yeah maybe 20 years ago when he was at his peak earning potential.

They haven't been friends for a long time Reaching out via social media is a good thing, it shows Norm hasn't completely abandoned Artie.

Norm has money?! Norm is sober?! This is an amazing and positive development.

Norm has been sober for years now. Gambling was always his main vice.

Artie probably chased off everyone close to him long ago. Addicts are like that. Norm is reaching out by the only possible method - as long as Artie's getting bookings in his current state, he'll carry on. Getting between Artie and his audience is probably the best move.

Also, why do you guys think Norm is broke? He does a lot of standup dates and still does various TV and movie roles.

Poor spending habits

Like what?

it's summer.

hes really not allowed on the show?

Allegedly, but he often seems really baked or tranquilized.

Oh yeah he's definitely on anti-anxiety meds or something. I just meant he doesn't drink anymore.

He gambled away his net worth twice. Also, the sudden silence around his Netflix special, plus the non-appearance of any episodes of the podcast's third season beyond the first two, made people think he just withdrew his book money in bills and drove to Vegas.

He showed up to one broadcast drunk and high and he hasn't really been back since. I don't know if he's really not allowed back on or not.

Gambling

He must be THE LEAST ANXIOUS MAN IN AMERICA!

/Norm delivery

what happened to Artie?

>the sudden silence around his Netflix special

What do you mean?

Norm has anxiety problems? I thought he was pretty laid back. All this time it was because of meds?

Heroin.

lol yes, he's done interviews about it.

Well he announced it, suddenly the podcast stopped, then he said nothing more about it. There was no sign of it appearing for months, people began to wonder because Norm is the kind of guy who could go to the corner store for a bottle of mineral water and end up in Atlantic City.

I look forward to seeing Artie on the next norm podcast where he will be promoting his next suicide attempt.

Triple bacon cheeseburgers

The stories of him gambling away all his money are from 20+ years ago when he was young and still on SNL. He's mellowed a lot since then. I don't doubt that he still gambles but it's probably mostly poker and small-time sports bets these days.

Correction: he probably gambled away his money when he had his network sitcom deal and was making a lot of money. Either way, it wasn't recent.

>Also what is Artie going to learn at this rehab he didn't learn at the 20 previous ones?
Have you never heard the phrase TWENTY-FIRST TIME'S THE CHARM?

Read between the lines of his standup (Me Doing Standup) and watch his Larry King interview. Dude's a nervous wreck on the inside

you do realize that post was satire right?

I see your point and it's often true but definitely not always.
If anything letting artie know he has options is the one thing he can do for sure as a friend, but it's still up to the dude to help himself.
he also exaggerates his gambling. He lies a lot about almost anything, especially in interviews.

Yeah, I know it was a while ago, but the combination of big payday for Norm followed by sudden unannounced cessation of content from Norm, plus that history, and his having recently referred to gambling a little after previously saying he'd stopped, and being an *addict*, was what made people wonder.

I'm glad he hasn't seriously relapsed, but the idea that he can foot Artie's rehab costs surprises me.

t. Someone who never dealt with a real addict

I don't know. I think his absence is mostly explained by his promotional tour for his book. Plus he has his son to help him keep his shit together.

God, Norm is such a humongous faggot.

>going sober for an ugly fat cow

I never understood the kate upton meme

She's a dime a dozen.

I think he was being heavily ironic.

>not being able to detect a satirical post
Retards like you are the reason to nuke it.

virtue signaling

>'WHAT'S MY DRUG OF CHOOOOIIICE?'
>WELL WHAT HAVE YOU GOOOOOOOOOOOOT?
>I DON'T GO BROOOOOKE
>AND I DO IT A LOT

Norm isn't a high school girl you humongous fag.

holy fuck ur a comedic genius i can't stop lolling xDD

THEY ARE LOVE BIRDS WHO HAVEN'T MET ONE ANOTHER YET

Addicts thrive on one-on-one relationships. Publicly outing them is literally the best thing you can do for everyone. It causes them to hit rock bottom and takes away potential marks and enablers.