Think of a story that's not suitable for children. Can be any existing work of fiction, or a non-fictional event

Think of a story that's not suitable for children. Can be any existing work of fiction, or a non-fictional event.

How do you make it into a family-friendly Disney movie?

Bonus: Include ideas for at least 3 musical numbers.

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youtube.com/watch?v=uty2zd7qizA
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Library_of_Alexandria#Destruction
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They turned Hunchback of Notre Dame into a lighthearted Disney musical

...anything is possible now

How about a tobacco farmer raping a 12 year old girl? That was a huge Disney movie.

Disney movie, WHEN?

I have no idea which movie you are referring to and I won't google it with your description

>won't google it with your description
Good idea lmao
Pocahontas

I had no idea. I only knew that she did went to study in the UK, kinda like the 2nd movie.

That was after she divorced her rapist. The she died of typhoid or something equally as shitty.

Breaking Bad has already been made into a Disney musical.
youtube.com/watch?v=uty2zd7qizA

Rape of Nanking. There's no way they could do that one.

Japan would bomb Anaheim if that happened. Mentioning Nanking in Japan is worse then goosestepping around Berlin today.

Frozen 2: The Little Match Girl

Death by hypothermia becomes a metaphor for a girl's seduction at the hands of Elsa, as the ice queen finally finds a true love who isn't also her sister.

the holocaust, but with minions

OP said "Disney" you mongoloid.

A whimsical romp through a vaguely war torn country, with colorful characters who help the main character at every turn. And a talking goat sidekick who is a ladies man.

Modern day Aladdin set in the same geographic area.

Said it before, I'll say it again: The Shadow Over Innsmouth, featuring a trip of wacky, hip-hop Deep Ones.

Anna Frank Diary: with a musical number of Nazis
Flowers on the Attic: love incest musical

The House of Maus

Quick, Boco, come up with several verses that rhyme "F'tagn!"

Sweeney Todd, musicals come attached

Disney can modify ANY fairy tale into something suitable for children.

Hercules, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Briar Rabbit tales, The Little Mermaid, and the list goes on.

My vote goes "The Golden Stag" from Romania.

Musical numbers in the style of a rock opera.

Noggin...toboggan...floggin'...bobbin...robin...goblin...

Goblin is kind of stretching it.

My favorite type of ice cream is F'tagn-Dahz!

On an almost related note I'm working on a MTG deck of eldrazi and werewolves and the wonderful new weredrazi cards and I'm calling it Lycanth'ftagn
Seriously they start as werewolf horrors and flip into eldrazi.

They turned fucking Sleeping Beauty into a lighthearted family movie. Nobody even ate anybody's babies or anything.

Yeah. They should really have done Marie-Angélique Memmie Le Blanc, but she doesn't have the same name recognition.

I'm sorry, did you say "knob bobbin' Robin"? I'm asking for a friend.

Well it's light-hearted as in there was either the bits like the Festival of Fools, or Disney's "We need to attract the kids" moments with the Gargolyes.

Otherwise it has the Villain activly lusting for the hot gypsy chick, lots of religious references (You don't get that these days) and everyone saying God or Hell is something you don't hear alot.

I make it a movie involving lots of RAPE, faecal jokes, sex jokes, homophobic jokes, liberal jokes, in-your-face visual grossness, and hire every person in Seth Green's friend list to "voice act"

Ooh, how about Godfather Death?

This "friend" wouldn't happen to have a name that rhymes with "Jordan", would it?

Disney already did that short.

And the goat is voiced by a popular comedy star or starlet.

Whoever the popular black male comedian is, because Eddie Murphy is too old, and too easy.

Two goats. Key and Peele.

>Dune.

I don't know how youd adapt it, but I look forward to hearing songs like "Plans within plans within plans", "Fear is the mind killer", and "desert power".

If they went full on operatic with it, Disney Dune would be fantastic.

That first song sounds like it would br from God Emporer of Dune. Fuck I wanted to finish that book I really did but Leto III becomes the lamest, most boring fucking asshole ever and 80% of the book is him in a monologue about his onion of plans. Probably a good thing, Keven J Anderson takes over anyway and he's responsable for the force ghost of the first sith beong killed by a care bear stare...seriously don't think about starting Jedi Academy, the first book is just very tasty bait to get you to fall into a pig, pointy, chinaman-shit covered punji-stick.

>The life of Julius Caesar
Maybe they'll just focus on him juggling his duties to the roman republic and his love life with Cleopatra. bonus if the library of Alexandria burning down makes it into the film...

Alexandria was ancient greece, not rome. Burned waaaaaay before ajy Cesar. But then again it's Disney so that could be close enough.

I'm sorry, what? I wasn't listening

Why don't we just go with Disney's Caligula instead?

I would love, love, love, if Disney did that and just called them out.

Because at least Germany admits that Goosestepping happened.

Leave out the deaths and and just have it be like a prison.

Song about life on the outside.
Villain song for the Nazi in charge of the camp.
Cute talking ghosts as comic relief

Are you sure? Alexandria is actually in eygpt, not greece. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Library_of_Alexandria#Destruction

...

Do you know what "bait" even means?

I was pretty sure it belonged to greece when it happened but you might be right.

i was refering to the previous version of the movie, it very clearly implied predators=jews

Seriously? Like kids in Japan don't even learn about it in their history classes?

I would love a Bluebeard Disney movie. Tell me how you would adapt it

No it did not.

Especially that kind of denial.

Have cartoony ghosts instead of dead bodies.

You could get beaten to a pulp if you even say Nanking to a Japanese on their home turf. Its not just denial its willful ignorance.

Whats Nanking?

One of the mudical numbers bluebeard does is back up vocaled by his ex wives' mounted heads

Wow, as if we needed more reason to think you are retarded.

Jesus fucking christ boco its called google

Okay, okay, I looked it up.

So they raped and killed a bunch of Japanese, is that it? Since when are the Japanese ever embarrassed about stuff they do in war?

>Lolita
Uhhh I guess make Dolores the protagonist in a coming of age story. She goes on a wacky cross-country adventure with her step-dad Humbert and proves that family doesn't always mean blood relation. No pedo themes.

I now want a light-hearted, fun for all-ages rendition of Maus

They didn't rape and kill japanese. And it had more to do with the way they did the raping and killing to the people they attacked. Like slicing open the bellies of of pregnant women and watching the babies fall out of their stomachs as they screamed in pain while their friends and families watched on in horror.

>John Carpenter's The Thing

The Thing is now an amorphous blob of Play-Doh that sings to MacReady.

Yeesh.

Japan is kinda weird when it comes to past wars, aren't they? Almost like they aren't mad that it happened, more mad that they lost...

Japan loves honour.
Nanking shows they don't have it.

Tbh Nanking was worse than the Holocaust if you actually look at the type of atrocities committed. The numbers they did in a mere several weeks and the kind of stuff they were doing to those Chinese people was absolutely insane. They had fucking beheading contests. Why the hell do we have a Holocaust Museum but not a Rape of Nanking Museum?

>over the top heroic version of "Be prepared" where Fremen hail Leto as their savior and messiah
Fund it.

...

dare them. they will.

Whoa! Amazingly close. Let's see who the winner was...

how havent they done that?

It would be just like Hercules or that lamma movie, with david spade

thats up to those countries. Or you, if you want to make one

>Walt Disney's "Dracula"
>Mina is the main character, a strong independent woman who's more competent than the male protagonists
>Johnathan Harker's her almost irrelevant love interest who's visit to Castle Dracula is briefly explained through flashbacks to establish that The Count is a vampire (just so they don't look like total idiots for believing the idea with no definitive evidence)
>Lucy develops into a secondary villain who "betrays" the others in favor of being an evil vampire with Drac
>Arthur, Quincy, and Dr. Seward are all just platonic friends of her's instead of suitors
>Van Helsing is a kooky old scientist with a comically exaggerrated dutch accent, only advances the plot by laying down all the facts about vampires and assisting throughout Lucy's subplot
>Renfield is the goofy comic relief villain sidekick
>the moral involves Dracula's old world misogyny getting BTFO by progressive modern feminism, embodied through Mina's character