The Great X-Men Storytime - Vol. 4: Mutant Massacre (Part 3)

Oh, what the hell, let's do one last storytime for the night, eh?

PREVIOUSLY ON X-MEN:

And hey, we've got Mignola this time around! For a couple issues anyway

To be fair, Heather, pretty much none of those were your fault. Still, you should put on that goddamned suit, woman.

>The Death of Walter Langkowski has drawn them closer to each other than ever... only to find out they can no longer TOUCH
Eww.

Thank god that machinery was falling slowly enough to let you recite all that exposition, Box!

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Thank the lord you're a goverment-sponsored superteam, eh guys?

I love this kinda shit.

Well, at least she's actually acting like the leader for once.

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So now you're together all of a sudden? ...well, alrighty then.

Oh, fuck off with that stupid "curse" shit.

Yes, YOU. Fuckin' do it, woman! It's your destiny!

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That's some lousy exposition right there, doc.

Well ain't that just peachy.

>Now, where he got that bitchin' costume I have no idea

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What an oddly overdramatic page for Mignola. Guess he still hadn't figured out his style.

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Bull-fucking-shit. This is Silver Age-levels of stupid.

>Yeah, so my brother can cure insanity, apparently

>them Mignola skulls

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Wait what?! How the fuck did those clothes fit?

Lady, tone it down with the dramatism maybe?

>Scramble, the Mixed-Up Man
>I came up with it myself, like it?
>...
>No

This shit really did come out of nowhere, now did it?

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>it's a Snowbird has a seizure issue
How many of these are we going to get?

>Madness!
Dude, you're fucking Shaman, you should be used to this kind of shit by now.

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So, is the scarf a permanent fixture? 'Cause I kinda like it.

Yeah, he got anime'd.

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I kinda want this fucker to die again because he's as weaksauce as villains come.

Whelp, she's dead. She just got a giant metal colossus dropped on her.

Goddammit, Heather.

Oh bullshit, why couldn't you do that before?

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Why is he not bleeding again?

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Wait what? Seriously? Is it because he's a zombie or something? That's dumb.

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Oh, I thought there would a shitty stinger revealing one of his hands survived and now Alpha Flight would have to fight Thing from the Addams Family. Alas, that would have been a bit too cool.

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FINALLY
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A
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L
Y

Yes!

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I like how everyone had a Danger Room back in the day.

Again with this idiocy.

I'm amazed your glasses didn't fall off any sooner, ya dummy.

I like how even Puck points out how dumb and contrived this is.
>Yeah, it doesn't make any sense but whattaya gonna do?

This is all going to be very awkward once Mac inevitably comes back to life.

Couldn't you give her those BEFORE she went into the goddamned Danger Room?

This sub-plot is so out of nowhere.

Anyhoo, anybody reading or am I talking to myself like a crazy person?

>Maybe she'll get herself KILLED and I'll be the new leader of Alpha Flight! Haha! Uh, I didn't say that out loud, did I?

Oh, fuck off.

Hey, what happened to Box? Did people keep confusing him with Colossus so they changed his colors?

>We are being attacked by a dumbass plot device!

Wow, what a stupid power. Worst magic sword ever.

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Oh man, here we fucking go.

Oh, fuck you.

OH FUCK YOU. Why couldn't he just be a guy with dwarfism? Was that really so fucking unbelievable?

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Not gonna lie guys, really not feeling Mantlo's Alpha Flight so far.

>Now please, please, PLEASE buy this book!

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This run has had so much damn exposition... I guess Mantlo was a firm believer of that "every issue is someone's first issue" spiel from Shooter.

These scans are awkward.

They're like really zoomed in or something. I don't like it, but at least they're readable.

Another seizure? Get your shit together, woman!

Why is Northstar so antagonistic all of a sudden?

>her uselessness
Yikes.

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Well, this is stupid and contrived.

>She's mine!
What the hell, Logan?

Oh hey, Yuriko.

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>thing
Hey now, I agree that the hairdo is pretty funny looking but let's not overreact here, shall we?

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Don't you just hate it when that happens?

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I jest, but this is actually a pretty nice flashback.

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So yeah, this story is actually fairly important in setting up Lady Deathstrike.

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Gettin' real tired of your shit, Northstar.

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You mean I actually need to read this? I thought we were going to read about mutant ninja humans getting ripped apart by Sabertooth.

Aw, they even complete each other's sentences now!