Alien: Covenant

That had to be the most emotionless, scatterbrained, most uninspired shit I have ever seen.

Aliens 2 when?

This had to be the most emotionless, scatterbrained, most uninspired thread I have ever seen.

Good work,OP.

I don't get why they haven't ever tried to remake something really actiony like Aliens over and over again. Wouldn't it be a safer investment for mainstream audiences and easier to avoid these kind of clusterfucks?

yesterday

in the year 2027, when Cameron is done with Avatar.

>two ayylmaos job to construction equipment

What a hack

>Now get this, listen, pay attention, we're gonna have chest bursters but instead, now get this, THEYLL BURST OUT THEIR BACK
Ridley Scott needs to be put in an old folks home

Yeah it's shit.
I watched 'life' today. It's better than Aliens and open for one fucking wicked squeal

SCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATERBRAAAAAAAAIN

If you don't like Covenant you are a faggot.

It would be fine with the horror angle, but Jesus Christ the movie doesn't even put any effort into even that. Fucked up shit happens and the movie doesn't seem to care and takes it at face value. Two men have slimy monsters burst out of their backs and then minutes later we're watching two robots play the flute, wtf. Absolutely none of the fear and tension of the first movie. At least Prometheus was interesting.

I bet you laughed at the fingering joke, didn't you

I'm not a manchild.

Found the piglet.

...

>emotionless

How?

"chest bursters"

Prometheus was worse

I've accepted that it will never be good again

See Despite characters mourning the deaths of their loved ones. the movie doesn't seem to want us to be emotionally involved, because it keeps cutting back and forth between jarringly different scenes. It's like it barely cares that there's a monster running around killing people. And when the Alien makes it on the ship, the last third is just a sleepwalk through the standard Alien finale where they use engineering to kill it. It was so tired and band. Literally the worst Alien movie.

She does full nudity in Inherent Vice and is super cute, also unlike Covenant it's actually a good film.

>Literally the worst Alien movie.

That's isn't Aliens, user.

But you just said you like Alien Covenant. Make up your mind

>t. manchild.

That's not really important.

It was still pretty great though I didn't like Ridley's new GoPro style he seems to have picked up with The Martian. It's also his most violent film since The Counselor.

Also
>dat qt who gets beheaded by the fucking white male alien
>dat score with a classical score
>David nearly crying at the sight of the neomorphs birth

The only major issue I have is that everything went too fast

>That's not really important
If it has none of the fear of the first movie than how is that not important? If it's hollow inside then there's no point. You greentexted the only halfway-decent qualities of the movie. Besides that they just marched out on stage, acted out the original Alien and then looked at the audience expectantly hoping they'll automatically like it.

All this. I waiting for the next movie, I want more.

the only important characters are David and the Xenomorph. That's the point of the prequels.

That makes it about as engaging as your average fanfic, then.

>Covenant tries to do horror
>turns into unintentional trashy comedy
>Covenant tries to do action
>turns into generic video game tier QTE

This piece of shit made Resurrection look like a masterpiece.

What is even more baffling is that when you watch the making of for the original Alien movie, you can see that people were giving their all for it to succeed, Even Ridley understood what things needed to be done and what needed to be avoided. And now we get this bullshit which is pretty much everything he said should never happen.

You know I'd say the action scenes weren't bad, but I watched a cam copy. The neomorph attack in the wheat field was pretty tense. That's probably the only legit engaging scene in the movie.

Why did David think he was creating a perfect organism? These penis head aliens were around way before David showed up. All he did was let it devour a human host. David didn't really do anything.

The double climax action sequences weren't utterly bad but were lacking any sense of tension whatsoever plus the goddamn CGI made it look like your average shooter video game. Long story short, they failed at being action sequences and clashed incredibly hard with the rest of the movie but by this point, people stopped giving a shit anyway.

>Why did David think he was creating a perfect organism?
Because he's deluded and full of shit, why do you think Walter asked him who wrote Ozymandias?

I'm lucky I watched a cam copy.

Also the neomorphs were entirely pointless. They didn't lead into the final form's appearance at all, which came about in a totally unrelated way. They could have been taken out and not much would have changed.

>alien covenant
>"hey that's my wife" joke twice in maybe 3 minutes
>characters do braindead shit constantly
>main character unattractive
>plot doesn't really do anything
>nothing of importance happens
>ending implies a sequel

what was ridley scott thinking

Actual xenomorphs weren't supposed to appear, they made it into the movie because the audience was whining about them not being in prometheus despite prometheus not featuring the alien name in the title.

>what was ridley scott thinking
>claims he wants to do at least two more
>claims he can make 6 if demand is here
>movie flops
>sequel still in prodiction

You'd have to question producers sanity.

This is a fucking train wreck.

the fucking retard can't even explain why david killed the engineers. he said david hates them, without explaining why or what the fuck that even means. he's actually gone totally senile

>main character unattractive

but user, she's a CUTE!

Biting the bullet and downloading the KOR HC, don't let me down, Scott...

>Literally the worst Alien movie.

Covenant was bad, but I really can't think of anything worse than Alien: Resurrection. It vaults so hard into "so bad its good" that it just smashes through the floor and becomes just awful.
AVP movies might also be worse if they count, been more than 5 years since I last saw them.

After Prometheus and Covenant, AVP 1 is actually pretty fucking good

Resurrection is absolute fun, though. We've come a long way in what it means for a movie to be "bad." In the nineties it just had to be cheesy, and people ended up shitting on wonderful movies like Resurrection and Batman and Robin. Bad movies nowadays are just bland and mediocre. I sure know which one I prefer.

>hey mom look i'm movie critic

>b-but it's fun
Nah, go fuck yourself. Alien Resurrection feels like Joss Whedon's script pissing in the face of Alien fans.

All I remember about it at this point is the predators in the beginning jobbing hard, and the fact that I vomited profusely after watching it for unrelated reasons.

I want to agree with you, but I rewatched Resurrection with friends recently and the novelty of how cheesy it was wore off around the time the mercenary captain got killed, and then it just became tiresome. The basketball scene is pretty damn funny though.

FUCK no hate that shit
worst alien movie.

So good you quoted it twice.
I am convinced it is a piece of absurdist art.

The theatrical version of Resurrection is fine, an average movie with some good moments, certainly better than Covenant. The DC version was Jeunet turning it into a full blown joke.

Oh god I need to see this, then.

ohh shit you're right. I knew I didn't recognize that horrible opening with the CGI bug that gets squashed.

It was fine. The hyperbole makes you sound like a child.

The extra scenes and new editing make the movie very, very silly.

The opening and ending sequences are both Jeunet crazy shit.

>fine
>boring retread of the original with none of what made the original impactful
>fine

>resurrection better then covenant
PWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA
kys

kys nigger

the audio quality makes it unwatchable. better wait for the YIFY release.