The Great X-Men Storytime - Vol. 4: Mutant Massacre (Part 4)

What's up, mah muggas?

Today we return to UXM and New Mutants, but first, a little detour!

PREVIOUSLY ON X-MEN:

>Marvel originally planned for the proceeds from the comic to go to Oxfam for its work in Africa. After previewing the book, the organization refused to accept the donation. The Oxfam representative found the comic "racist, sexist, and reprehensible," particularly taking issue with the presentation of women in the comic, especially X-Men heroine Storm, who is of African heritage. The representative apparently also believed the comic's logo had been stolen from the singer Janet Jackson (the Jackson family were major supporters of Oxfam) and refused to believe Marvel when they explained that their Janet Jackson was a different person.

>The proceeds were instead given to the American Friends Service Committee, with the first check being in excess of $500,000.

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Well yeah, but that doesn't mean you gotta scream at the top of your lungs, now do ya?

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I like thanks to Janson they look more like TDKR characters than starving people.

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Byrne's back!

wut

Well, that was random.

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Let's see how Stephen King handles the X-Men.

He's definitely playing to Wrightson's strenghts.

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Charlie Vess? As in Charles "Sandman" Vess?

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Alan fucking Moore's X-Men (or rather, Magneto), who'd a thunk?

And with Richard Corben of all people!

This is some good shit.

This is a Nocenti section I'm guessing shit gets even weirder than usual.

>My one and only bouncing baby coochi-coo!
...yep, I was right.

>PHOENIX KICK!

Aw shit, Harlan Ellison's Wolverine? With Frank Miller?!

I like how "normal Logan" also means "no more weird hairdo".

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It's Claremont time!

This is hilarously Claremont.

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>let's solve world hunger with pies!

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Watching Steve Rude draw the X-Men is pretty crazy.

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>they wear the robes over their costumes
This is ridiculous.

Say, that George Martin isn't who I think it is, is it?

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>He died before he even touched me
How convenient.

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>Creepy place! he's must do his own decoratin'!
Not exactly the time for jokes, Rogue.

What a bizarre read. Thanks X-user!

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Am I the only one who thinks it's kinda bullshit how they came up with a way to have some punching in a world hunger story?

Heh, you're welcome, user.

These must have been the easiest pages to script.

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>Am I the only one who thinks it's kinda bullshit how they came up with a way to have some punching in a world hunger story?

Yeah, I don't know if it's intentional on Claremont's part, but the whole thing sort of highlights how silly and frivolous the whole superhero vs. supervillain business is in the face of something like real-world famine.

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Ah yes, time for our Saturday Morning Cartoon lesson.

Well, to be fair, Claremont didn't outline the story alone, maybe it was one of the other three guys, and gal.

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And have a random pin-up that has nothing to do with world hunger.

And now back to our good ol' superhero comics where no one will ever mention that story again!

Although I guess you could no-prize it and say the X-Men made regular trips to Africa during their off-time, at least before shit got too crazy even for them.

True.

It's a very weird read (it's all over the place in terms of what it's trying to say), and I can sort of understand why Oxfam didn't like the comic. Still, I don't know if turning down half a million dollars made practical sense in the charity's efforts to help the starving in Africa.

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Yeah, that was very silly of them, and some of their reasoning was... odd (the lady in charge thought "Yowza" was a slur or something?)

Pretty fuckin' ripped for a thirteen year old.

I know this is meant to be dramatic, but seeing a semi-naked Bobby eating cookies on the floor while crying and talking to himself is a really amusing image.

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So yeah, still in the middle of Secret Wars Two, we won't reach *that* issue today tho.

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>subway heaven
lol

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Wow, so there were SJWs back then too?

Don't lie, Shan, you're enjoying that.

Yes, but they were called bleeding heart liberals.

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A bit too early for Inferno, innit?

Bleeding heart liberals felt sorry for everyone, even if they didn't deserve it - like, say, for murderous criminals.

They didn't go around insisting everyone else was racist and sexist, even when they were doing good works.

They saw the best in people, even when it didn't exist. SJWs see the worst in people, even when it doesn't exist.

>BOING

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Well, ya know how everything's edgier and darker nowadays.

Aw, Rahne trying to help.

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Aww, be a better friend Illyana

Illyana :(

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hahaha, good point. Things were more optimistic in the 80s, despite civilization looking like it was about to collapse.

>that M on Mags' cape

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>Your momma
Hey now, no need for those kinda jokes, Rogue.

>...for the kill
>SNIKT!
Pfft

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BOOM!

>You're history, buster!
You gotta work on that bantz, Rachel.

>he turns into the Grim Reaper
How overdramatic.

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>dat Jheri curl

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