I'm guessing we don't have any European anons in here. Ah well.
Current Goals:
>Refinement/Writing out the excavation >Stand proposals for Trevor, the Gross Sisters, and Dan >Hashing out the Interpol chapter >Planning for a possible staff side-chapter
Nathaniel Green
Britfag here, don't we already have a a stand for Dan?
Huh, Reviewfag didn't even get to that one. Guess it just got lost in the flow.
Ethan White
>Guess it just got lost in the flow. Damn you Steven Universe!
Eli Allen
Quick question:
How does Dora find out she's been assigned to Excavation? Would the Warden himself do it or does she find out specifically through Wong?
John Gutierrez
I think we are now keeping the Warden's face obscured until the escape attempt, so either Wong or a guard that interrupts the lunch to inform Dora
Kayden Rogers
I love you user
Henry Scott
>It's been three days since Dora has been released back into General Population and despite the better conditions, her and Suzie can't help but worry over Sticks' last search. The two of them are currently mulling over their situation in the cafeteria, their table barren thanks to Suzie's reputation.
>"So, have you made any friends that could help us out?" >"Apart from those two beautifully broken creatures. no. Ze inmates have a sort of how do you say, trepidation towards me. I can't imagine why." >"Shit. Well, have you met any other good Stand users?" >"I've dealt with a few sure but ze majority of them seem to be quite content with their place amongst the Oriental's ranks. Given his position, I doubt he's in any hurry to leave."
>There's a sudden hush over the mess hall as Wong himself has walked over to their table, a good few of his retainers following closely behind, a low menacing aura weaving between them, especially Me-Mow as she's staring daggers at Dora.
>Suzie: Speak of the devil, non? >Wong: Suzanne. Would you mind giving us some space? I require private words with Consuela here. >Dora: Oi, cholo. You want me you get- >Suzie puts her hand on Dora's, the clamminess of her skin upsetting the girl a bit. >Suzie: It is all right. [whispering] Remember, we ARE looking to make allies. Best not to let myself get in the way. >Suzie shuffles over to another table, the congregation there quickly filing out and cramming into the surrounding tables.
>Dora: So, El jefe himself is interested in me. >Wong: Forgive my rather impromptu calling upon you. I found it more useful to strike while the iron is hot. >"I'm just going to be blunt with you; I've got no intention of joining your little gang. THAT one guaranteed it." >"That's not what I'm here about actually. You seem to be a person that's becoming more and more interesting as time goes on. After all, you're the only inmate to actually return from Solitary."
Jaxson Phillips
>"So I've been told." >"You downplay your accomplishment far too much. We've failed to get eyes into that area but given how the inmates that enter never return, it's surmised that they were more than likely executed." >A deep chill runs through Dora at the thought, those freaky mannequins making a lot more sense. "Cristo..." >"Indeed. But let the living not speak of the dead. I've come to notice that you've joined the Excavation program-" >"Whoa, back up a sec. What excavation program?" >"...Curious. It seems that one of our benefactors may be trying to manipulate things. But yes, every few months a team led by the good professor Bruttenholm commit to an archeological dig for the purpose of discovering what all lies beneath the prison. As I understand it, they've already made significant progress." >"So where do I figure into all this?" >"There's something I've been looking for in those buried levels. A man I've been searching for for ages may be sequestered somewhere in those levels, perhaps in the very heart of those depths." >"How could he have survived down there though?" >"I doubt there are any in our ranks who aren't Stand users, my dear. We've seen the utter malleability of our world. I wish to give you an offer. I will be sending a few of my own people onto the team and I'd like for you to support them in the location and return of that man. Should you manage to find him, I will be willing to take you and possibly Suzanne with my fold when we finally escape this place." >"Wait, you can get out of here? How?" >"If I gave that away, we'd have no reason to deal, now would we? The offer is on the table Consuela. Feel free to deliberate."
>Having said his piece, Wong and his entourage rise from their seats and make their way back to their area.
Dominic Adams
bump
Jordan Perry
Sup Forums is just moving too fucking fast at 3 in the morning EST.
That's supposed to be the dead hours for Sup Forums, not the "here comes the fucking speed force" hours.
Anthony Edwards
Every so often Daolon Wong won't refer to himself as "I" but as "I, Daolon Wong", usually when trying to make himself look powerful or important.
Zachary Young
So I thought of how we can get Dethklok in this and also keep that thing from the vocaroo.
They're having a concert on top of one of the jawbreaker cache locations, Gameboy or Frizzle sees the death and destruction they're causing and captures them for incarceration while also moving the cache back to the jail.
They could already have stands or get stands by eating jawbreakers on the way to jail.
Juan Rodriguez
>Gameboy or Frizzle sees the death and destruction they're causing and captures them for incarceration while also moving the cache back to the jail. Well I can see is them airlifting the ENTIRE cache, concert and all, back to Superjail.
The Dethklok boys are probably so busy rocking out that they don't even notice their being moved.
Gavin Sullivan
That works too. They just get dropped into Superjail since there's no way to process them in the normal jail.
Justin Stewart
That's surprisingly metal. I love it.
Brandon Rivera
Crap. I'll fix it on the doc then.
Logan Ramirez
Wong has a demanding personality. He'll usually belittle people he feels are beneath him, which is everyone who isn't also an agent of the forces of darkness.
He'd probably be more "Leave us, Suzanne." and he'd only use her name because she is rather dark too.
He also has a tendency to blame others for when plans go wrong.
Robert Gutierrez
Eh, it's more that he knows Dora has the option to basically fuck over the operation so he tones it down a bit for the sake of finding Dan.
Jackson Flores
Also, before I can get into the next section, I need a good sort of measure for Trevor. An outline of his personality and speech style really.
Eli Nguyen
Alright, but he's still more likely to phrase things as demands.
He's very to the point. Very driven. Also soft at times.
>I already know what to call him. I call him "son".
>In the absence of light, darkness prevails. There are things that go bump in the night, Agent Myers. Make no mistake about that. And we are the ones who bump back.
>Four broken vertebrae. A steel rod inserted into his pelvis kept him upright... what horrible will could keep such a creature as this alive?
>What is it that makes a man a man? Is it his origins, the way things start? Or is it something else, something harder to describe?
>And I you. Growing old is not the worst fate that can befall a person... but you ceased to a be a person long ago.
>Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: I'm no longer director of field operations, but I'm not ready to retire. >Hellboy: I'm not saying that. But you shouldn't be here. You're too- >Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: Old? I'm sorry I don't share your seemingly eternal youth. You grew so fast at first. In no time at all, you were too big to spank. >Hellboy: Only 'cause the tail got in the way.
The way we're portraying him is a little out of character given his son is dead or presumed dead the way we're molding this world.
Jason Scott
So, he'd still have his verbose wit but carry a fair bit of pain in it. That works. How much of the history of the Panopticon should he divulge in the orientation?
Jackson White
The orientation will probably be conducted on the elevator rid down through the old human prisons, he'll talk about how humans have been drawn to this site for ages to build prisons on it, he wants to know why this is.
I'm not sure how ancient the Panopticon itself is though. It might've been made by whoever the native population was before the Europeans arrived and then they re-purposed it, the guards becoming the prisoners and all that.
Grayson Lee
From last thread:
>Discuss the food in the employee cafeteria. Which is brisket that is badly made.
>Bobby says this wouldnt happen with a propane grill. Trevor says that they have this discussion every time there's meat on the menu. States that traditional is better. Trails off a bit and remembers Hellboy once grilling with charcoal he found when "a buncha cultists made a portal to hell". He says that the room smelled like pork rinds and brimstone for a month.
>There we start their backstory talk.
Just what method is used in the prison kitchen? Electric?
If they begin talking about how there are more electric things in the Strickland technology, that could be a good transition into their current dissatisfaction with the way things are being run there now.
Adrian Scott
>Suzie returns to the table, an inquisitive look in her good eye >"So, how did it go?" >"Eh, mixed at best. Apparently someone filed me to be on the dig staff and he's got someone he's looking for down there." >"Hmm, mayhaps one of the people who have gone missing from said expeditions?" >"How do people go missing in a hole, Suzie?" >"You would honestly be surprised. Zis prison holds a great many secrets, many of them deadly. I would advise you do what you can to correct the error that put you there; I had assumed you lost once and I'd rather not have to again." >There's an uneasy silence between them as Dora weighs the possible benefits of Wong's plan against what could once again be her own death warrant
>A few hours later in Bobby's office, the good doctor is sharing whiskey with Trevor Bruttenholm, lead researcher of the lower layers and a longtime friend. The man looks a bit dour but is enjoying the moment between them.
>Trevor: You've seemed oddly concerned with your surroundings as of late, Bobby. You're normally not one to ruminate. >Bobby: Between Pericles, the conditions in Solitary, and the lunch room brisket, I'm seriously beginning to wonder if something hasn't gone off of the rails in here. I mean seriously, Strickland is willing to give this place the highest quality propane we have for pennies on the dollar and they're still using electrics of all things. >"Ah, I've missed this conversation. Perhaps it was your father's mastery with the grill that drives you to such a froth whenever meat is served. But then, our traditions are just as constructive to us as our genetics. I still remember when he'd first discovered charcoal grilling after laying out 'a buncha cultists making a portal to hell' in his own words. The room smelled of brimstone and pork rinds for a solid month." >"...It's been a good few years now. How're you holding up?" >"The pains aren't as profound but they'll never leave me. He was my son after all."
Zachary Torres
One of Bobby's many talents is being able to perfectly judge how well meat is prepared.
One of the few talents he and his dad shared was grilling.
Adam Collins
All right, I need to know how much to give away and which areas to cover. After all, we haven't decided on just what happened to Hellboy.
Camden Murphy
With the WB's collapse, maybe something happened in hell (a mass revolt, for example) and Hellboy fell in the line of duty fighting those who still were on Red Guy's side.
Gavin Walker
Maybe they change the subject there. I don't think we're actually expanding on what happened to him.
Next they could talk about the expedition and how the Warden seems to have an unusual (for him) interest in Trevor's research. Then "Consuela" being on the list of inmates assigned to go down there comes up.
I guess that could set the conversation to Bobby's caring nature and how he got into this profession.
Nolan Nelson
>"My apologies for waxing nostalgic." >"Pay it no mind. The grieving process never really ends after all." >"Hmm, perhaps. By the way, I called for this meeting to ask you about about something that's been bothering me for the longest time now. Have you noticed just how entranced the Warden seems to be by my research as of late?" >"I assumed that it was spurred on by that new level you all just hit." >"Perhaps, but there's something deeply worrying about his manic obsession with the depths even after losing multiple of his inmates to the cause. And even throwing more at me despite that." >"Trevor, the program is entirely volunteers. We even make sure to warn them about just how deadly it can be." >"And yet now I'm having people forcibly added to my expedition without going through proper channels. Someone named Consuela showed up on the listing two days ago but there's no paperwork to go along with it." >There's a deeply unsettled look upon Bobby after hearing his former patient's name used. >"That is upsetting. I've got no idea why he'd want her there, especially after the roller coaster she'd went through during her last week in Psych Ward." >"You're a gentler man, Hill. You lack that utter bile a man must posses to throw bodies into the pyre for the sake of advancement. To be honest, I don't know how you're still here." >"Because the inmates here aren't just crimes, Trevor. They're people. And someone's got to be there to remind them of that before it's too late."
>In the midst of their conversation, a rather weak knock can be heard at the door.
>Bobby: Ah, let me take this. Open door policy, after all.
>The good doctor opens his office door to see Suzie standing before it, her usual bored expression meeting him.
>Bobby: Heya Suzie. Have you finally come to talk? >Suzie: Yes, but not for ze reasons you are thinking. Tell me Monsieur Hill, what do you know about the Work Program?
Kevin Scott
Alright, I guess that puts us in our next batch of notes and other misc. collected thoughts.
>Gameboy is the supervisor for the prison workforce who all have to wear bomb collars, stray too far from Gameboy or Trevor for too long and they detonate. The prison workforce consists of: -Dora -Suzie -Gross sisters (Proud Family) -Mirage -Me-Mow -Di Lung
>Everyone on the workforce aside from Dora and Suzie are members of Wong’s gang. The Gross Sisters want to kill off the rest of Wong’s gang and make it look like an accident to strengthen their position in the prison. Mirage is currently working for Wong to further the cause of evil. She plans to betray him later.
>Trevor is not aware of Dan, only Wong and people he sends down there are. >Dora might be informed that a person exists way down there, but Wong shouldn't tell her anything else about it. Dora could just assume he's after a mummy. (I suppose this is now covered already)
>Mirage sticks to Trevor since he's the one who has been able to make it the farthest down and has the best chance of finding this place.
>The jail is built on top of many jails -On top is the panopticon with the Warden and Strickland’s stuff built into it -Below that are three older jails that transition from medieval-ish to early humans on the way down, these have been largely excavated and are in the process of being outfitted to accommodate more prisoners in the jail. -Then there are three for different Pillarmen periods which have not be successfully excavated since the traps and layout keep changing
That's the orientation they get on the elevator ride down through the three human jails.
Nathan Fisher
Oh, and WALL-E is also part of the robot work force accompanying Trevor.
So I assume there's a stair case or elevator near the solitary entrance level. Instead of going to solitary they go into this huge work elevator that used for moving machinery.
One the ride down, they see an army of old Propane Nightmares busy moving rocks around, clearing out the old human jails as well as a lot of contractors also doing the technical jobs required to modernize the place. The Warden wants to expand downwards.
At the end of the elevator ride, Trevor should have finished explaining the risks. He probably also notes that there are some new faces in the group this time as well as some old.
They're at the bottom of the lowest human jail, there's a hole in the floor with stairs leading down to the a huge door, this is the point of no return. Behind this door is the only non buried room of the top most pillarman jail.
And we'll get to what's behind that door once we've gotten through orientation.
Jack Torres
All right, starting in a sec.
Alexander Long
>2 days later >Dora has reported back to the solitary wing of the prison but for much more suitable purposes this time. As it turns out, the end of the wing leads to a massive service elevator, the entrance of which is now serving as an impromptu waiting area for the dig crew, dominated by a good few member's of Wong's circle
>Dora, internal: Mierda, he sent all of these people? The old man either has a soft spot for the guy or wants the pleasure of killing him.
>Looking over to them, it's starting to look like it'll be a rough time. Me-Mow's still giving her death glares, the Gross sisters are acting like she's not there, Di Lung's laughing at a joke no one else seems to have heard, and Mirage is basically gazing through her. The air between them grows to peak tension before a good few footsteps and the sound of treads against the concrete make themselves known, Bruttenholm, Suzie and WALL-E entering the space.
>Trevor: Apologies for my lateness everyone. I had to make a quick stop to see Professor Membrane and gather up a last minute addition. >Dora: Suzie, what are you doing here? >Suzie: I figured that if you were going into ze belly of ze beast, the very least I could do is not let you do it alone. Zat and I am in charge of Monsieur WALL-E here as a favor for Membrane. He wants to see if the upgrades are as potent as he hopes. >Trevor: All right everyone, let us cease the pleasantries though I will say I'm surprised to see a good few new faces today. My name is Trevor Bruttenholm and I will supervising today's excavation. Allow me to say this before we begin:
>I only expect half of you to make it back.
Ryan Sanders
Just so you know, I'm working on the Jaguar fight.
I'll begin posting that once we're to that room.
Juan Hill
And that's mostly done now.
It needs some tweaks, but I'll point them out when it's time to post it.
Hudson Murphy
I imagined he was possibly offed by a powerful Stand user during his last mission, someone who appeared in a previous part and was considered a monster in terms of power-level (ex: Daffy, Lowly). Either that, or one of Red Guy's high-ranked goons (Telephone Avatar, HIM) was responsible for Hellboy's demise while he was investigating WB before the Interpol and the Urban Rangers got involved.
The thing is, Hellboy isn't really a pushover and it would make more sense if he was killed by a powerful enemy. Also, it isn't established when he died exactly, either if it was several years ago or a couple of years ago before Part 6 begins.
Jaxon Evans
I'd think it was several years ago, before the prison was built, so probably before part 5.
Trevor shouldn't know who or what exactly killed him.
Elijah Taylor
If Hellboy died around the time Hank died, then probably sometime during Part 4.
I'd imagine Hell was not a fun place then, and a lot of demons not affiliated with Red Guy wanted out, since he was becoming way more than just top dog.
Which meant Hellboy and unlucky dudes in body armor were sent to send them right back. Since Hellboy and the BPRD were becoming less "useful" for solving paranormal cases, like the "ones who talk to themselves", then the serial killer case, funding was pulled from them. Even though the situation was getting worse, due to WB getting bigger and bigger in buildup to Part 5.
So Hellboy died because he and a team of BPRD agents were sent out with faulty gear to a party that needed more than what they could offer.
We keep the rest ambiguous. Maybe we dont even say this and we keep it as backstory for ourselves.
Anyways. After WB collapsed and demonic activity ceased worldwide when Hades started cleaning house, BPRD lost everything and assets such as Trevor Bruttenholm were sent to the Panopticon.
Jaxson Bell
Yeah, there's just not a way to work that into the story right now though.
It's best left an ambiguous backstory element.
We could bring it up again in part 7 if President Nobody summons an alternate Hellboy somehow. Still not sure how his stand works.
Michael Lee
what the fuck even is this
Isaac Lewis
Every thread, without fail.
Cooper Wood
>There's a slight wave of discomfort over the newer members but Me-Mow and Mirage seem unfazed >Trevor: Now, if you'll all step into the elevator, we can begin the briefing and get you all strapped. >Nubia: Wait, strapped?!
>At Trevor's signal, the gargantuan door opens, revealing Gameboy lurking in wait, multiple collars hanging from his claws.
>Trevor: Of course. Standard policy for when prisoners are in areas they can easily escape from. I wouldn't suggest resisting; he rather likes that.
>As each inmate enters, they're strapped with a mechanical collar, a series of three red lights activating upon its closing. As soon as the last is strapped, the door closes and pressurizes. Slowly, the gears above begin to rumble and the cab descends.
>Trevor: Allow me to establish our ground rules Those collars of yours contain a compact explosive charge, the activator of which will initiate the moment you find yourselves more than thirty feet from either myself or Gameboy. Every ten foot distance, a light will go out. All three disengage and the charge ignites, tearing out your throats. If it doesn't kill you automatically, you'll wish it did. With that formality out of the way, we can begin the briefing. The site of this prison was no mere coincidence or cosmic fluke. As far back as we have history, human beings have been driven to build prison upon prison atop this very land, each stacked atop the last like some subterranean Babel. We have already plumbed the depths of the highest three levels and are examining the artifacts within as well as appropriating the space within for future use.
Brayden Miller
Actually, can we have it so that a timer activates once all three lights are out and the time spent on it will not be replenished unless Trevor or Gameboy sees fit to do so once they are back in range?
Thomas Peterson
>There's a rectangular window at the far end of the cabin showing the innards of the layers as they pass. The first two are manned by a number of Propane Nightmares and a slew of contractors endlessly working upon the structures. The third is decidedly less refined, seeming more akin to tunnels carved out into the rock, myriad paintings and hieroglyphs upon the walls.
>Dora: Madre de Dios, how long have you been at this? >Me-Mow: Bout 4 years give or take. Lost a lot of good people along the way too. >Trevor: Such is life, eh? Where time can seem so irrelevant until the point where we can no longer grasp it. Regardless of how faint our tether to the mortal coil can be, it's no excuse for lacking diligence. We're approaching the first of the layers with incomplete mapping. There are multiple remnants of a long past warrior civilization and it would seem that despite the ages something is keeping their machinery active. There are numerous traps and impassable areas throughout and something seems to be changing the topography on a whim. Your job will be to soldier on through it, collect samples and chart the layout of the level as well as excavate to deeper rungs should the opportunity arise. Do take care to keep watch of yourselves. And your peers.
>The cab's descent slows until it ceases with a powerful shudder.
>"Now, let us begin."
Ah, understandable in case they get separated by means outside of their control.
Joseph Scott
Right, is this where I should jump in or is there a bit more before they move down farther to the top most pillarman level?
Charles Lewis
I'd say jump in here. This is about where it starts.
Hudson Cox
>In the middle of the floor there is a hole, entering this hole there is a stair case leading down >It's not an ancient staircase, but one that had been built recently >At the base of the stairs there is a large stone double door the size of which is at least 12 meters tall, the robots accompany them push it open, it closes behind them by its own power >The room they have entered is expansive and made of entirely of stone >Trevor points to a giant stone statue of a jaguar in on the far side of the room >"That is the way further down." >As they approach it, the stature begins trembling, dust and rocks are dislodged from all around it as one of its arms comes to life and smashes outwards, then the rest of it >Dora, Suzie, Me-Mow, and Di Lung all recoil while Trevor looks on with a bored expression >He turns his back to it and faces his would-be assistants >"Now then, as some of you know-" >The stone jaguar pounces at Trevor, jaw open ready to swallow him whole >At the last second Trevor glows with stand power and a large red figure appears near him, one of its hands is enormous >It grabs the jaguar by the nose and slams it down to the ground in mid air >Trevor calmly steps on top of it as his robot work force proceeds >"If you cannot defeat this obstacle on your own, then you shall be nothing but a burden to this endeavor." >Trevor walks down the stairs now uncovered where the stone Jaguar once rested after the robots have already gone down >"Don't keep me waiting too long." as his stand disappears and the jaguar rights itself, shaking off the dust of the floor >Dora: "Oh madre..."
cont.
Samuel Taylor
>The stone jaguar does a quick look at the hole Trevor has already gone down and then turns back to the group stuff before it >It again pounces, slamming down on the floor this time sending out a shock wave and scattering the group >Dora gets ready to fight it by summoning [Boots], just as she's about to begin kicking at it Suzie grabs her and pulls her back letting the jaguar charge >"What'd you do that for?" >"Dora, look at where Gameboy is, your collar, it's timer was about to start counting down." >Dora looks over to Gameboy who is all the way across the room with a smug look on its face, the other prisoners are scrambling to get over to their mechanical overseer >Dora grits her teeth, "So that's how it's going to be." >As she does so [Boots] kicks the jaguar right in the face leaving a blue footprint on it >The jaguar shakes this off, but before it can even finish doing so, it's knocked over by the footprint detonating as Dora and Suzie make their way to Gameboy to keep within range of the clear signal >It shakes this off too, showing no signs of damage
>Dora now realizes she's being "interviewed," as it were, by Wong's gang to access just how useful she'll be on the trip >Now with the stone jaguar chasing her, she makes sure if follows her to where Gameboy and the others are to force them into action >The Gross Sister step out in front, all three of them glowing with stand power >The lanky one strikes a pose, then she and her sisters begin to glow in a blue light >The large one then jumps forward, a huge blue figure manifesting in front of her, and decks the jaguar in the face sending bits of stone everywhere >Gameboy has move further away from them again, he'd be laughing if it wouldn't tip them off >As the timer on the large sister gives a warning beep, the short sister then reveals a glove on her hand that she reaches out in front of her as if to hold her larger sister in her hand as a perspective trick cont.
Kevin Robinson
>With the lanky sister pulling on her, they yank their large sister out of mid air as if they had lassoed her and back into the safe range, just as the jaguar had made to swipe at her >The jaguar then reforms, the rocks coming back into place and sealing as if nothing had happened
>Gameboy is looking bored, so he begins shocking Di Lung for shits and giggles since he's standing too close to it >The Gross Sisters seem to have this currently, so Dora and Suzie are just watching, until... >Next the short one points her glove at the jaguar, she's struggling at first, but then aided by her two sisters and the large one's stand, the jaguar slowly begins to slide towards them, then it's pulled into the air and flung at Gameboy and the others >The inmates scatter, Gameboy looks mildly annoyed as it comes down on him >The Gross Sisters have a brief celebration as the make a mad dash for the hole >The jaguar is them launched into the air by something Gameboy did, who still looks annoyed >The Jaguar sees the sisters heading for the hole and rights itself in mid air, landing on its feet and then jumping over there, landing in front of them with a roar that blows them back
>Dora has begun to move again, this time [Boots] is out and its running around seemingly aimlessly >Di Lung and Me-Mow laugh about this thinking Dora can't control her own stand... until they realize they're running too >Di Lung and Me-Mow stepped on some red footprints Dora was having [Boots] leave, now they're running around in circles on a path left for them >The jaguar advances on them, there's not much they can do about it since the red footprints loop in a circle trapping them in an endless run cycle >Just as they're about to get pounced on, the footprints disappear and they scatter >The stone jaguar lands with another shock wave and looks around for its next target cont.
Owen Cox
>Meanwhile, Dora has had [Boots] leave a trail of red footprints going up the wall and onto the ceiling of the chamber, a trail she has been following >Red footprints turn to blue as she steps on them >Dora yells out a warning for Suzie and Wall-E to stand clear as they detonate, causing the ceiling to collapse on the jaguar, trapping it under a large pile of boulders
>Dora has no time for congratulations or for Me-Mow's shit, she grabs Suzie and makes a mad dash to the stairs, opting to risk the timer than hang around here >Me-Mow sees what's up and is running with them, Di Lung does something with a quick flash of stand power and now Me-Mow and Suzie are finger trapped together >Two of the Gross Sisters are also chasing them not wanting to be left behind >Their timers have all activated and they have to hope they can catch up with Trevor before they count all the way down >The stairs are a spiral stair case leading down, Dora has no time for that and has [Boots] go ahead of her, making a path going straight down the wall >Me-Mow suddenly has hesitations and is trying to stop, but they're already on the foot print path >Dora, Suzie, and Me-Now are now running down the side of a vertical drop, the Gross Sisters stopped at the edge, but then noticed the footprints and how they were rapidly disappearing before stepping onto them themselves to pursue
>At the bottom of the stairs, Trevor is sitting in a chair looking at a pocket watch when Dora's group suddenly appears before him >He remarks that they've made excellent time and that their collars would've detonated if they were even a few steps slower before resetting their timers
Now to the tweaks needed.
Nathan Walker
Problem one: dialogue. There's probably places in there where some can be inserted. Banter has always where I've fallen short in this project.
Problem 2: No one came up with any solid concepts for for the Gross Sisters stands, so I had to use what was available and make that work. Shorty's stand works with perspective, the further away something is, the more she can move it around until it looks bigger than she is. Lanky's stand I don't really know what it does, so it buffs them in some way that probably won't be explained. Strongfat's stand is just something really big that becomes the biggest thing in a room. Not sure what it should look like, possibly like their dad? It's size does not make it any more or less powerful though. I've had plenty of experience making up fights using stands that are poorly defined.
Problem 3: Any problems that anyone else have with it are this problem.
Aiden Hall
While that's being deliberated, the next set of notes are:
>The second pillarman level has a large maze. Dora, Suzie, and Me-Mow + medium and tall Gross Sisters catch up with Trevor. He remarks they’ve made excellent time and might not be a total burden after all. They enter the maze.
>Wall-E, Mirage, Di Lung, and the short Gross Sister are now with Gameboy, they enter the maze a few minutes behind the first group. The Gross Sister in the group tries to kill Mirage, she uses her stand to dehydrate her and drive her to drink from the nearest source of water while Gameboy is distracted.
>We cut back to Dora’s group >Bruttenholm rambles that someone in the previous team stole his notes about the perfect frame potion >”The poor idiot misinterpreted the notes and believed the moat contained the perfect frame potion.” >Dora asks him what happened. >"Well first he complained of a mild heartburn and tightness on his chest, before crystallizing entirely from the mouth outwards… then he fell over and exploded."
>Cut back to Gameboy’s group and the short Gross sister is now dead via crystallizing water. (It’s the goop that turns whatever touches it into explosive unstable crystal from Atlantis: The Lost Empire) >Gameboy gives no fucks.
>At some point during the maze a stand jawbreaker that was still inside of Dora’s backpack ends up being eaten by a cockroach which WALL-E adopts afterwards.
>Eventually they all make it through the maze and reunite on the next level. Maybe not all at the same time though.
Ethan Bell
It's a mite rough but I can see it working. Good job user.
Ian Parker
The scene kept playing out in my mind and I wanted to get it down before I lost the drive for it.
Anything you'd like to change or add to it right now? It is open to edits, corrections, and adjustments.
Josiah Howard
the fuck is going on in here?
Jeremiah Diaz
We're writing a fanfic.
Currently Dora the explorer has been sent to prison, a prison under The Warden's control, for trafficking Stand granting jawbreakers. Now she's on an exploratory team going beneath the jail to see all the fucked up jails that came before the current jail.
Julian Diaz
I looked at the plot doc and some of the writing here this seems like it has great potential for comedy but not much else (i.e. what's in this thread) also the characters are all over the map, not just source-wise but in terms of notability (e.g. I have no recollection at all of "Doom Patrol")
Anthony Turner
We we're just going by whatever amuses us the most.
Someone suggests a thing and we go with it.
Part 7 seems like it will have a theme of using more obscure or less main stream characters though.
I'm still looking for the thread where SU was NEVER EVER'd
William Young
I like what you did with the sisters.
Do we give them N.W.A. songs or Spice Girls songs?
Or both?
short and lanky get NWA Strongfat gets Spice girls
Zachary Perez
Fukken read Doom Patrol dude.
Do it. Talk shit about this project and call us autistic. But fuck it. you have to read Doom Patrol. Grant Morrison's Run.
Noah Gonzalez
I don't know if the names of their stands will actually come up before they end up dead, but pick out whatever names you want for them and what you pick probably will stick.
Ok, remember when Trixie tore up that picture of her friend? Well, how about this. Trixie has a stand that can manifest the "image" of her acquaintances into photos, but only one at a time. If that photo is damaged, part of their "image" is damaged.
Jason Watson
Sure.
Between the two choices for strongfat, I'd go with [Viva Forever], just because it's less f a mouthful.
It's funny to me how the descriptive nicknames are sticking since I honestly can't be arsed to remember their names seeing how they'll be killed off along with most of the others this arc.
Henry Baker
So what is the name of Trevor's stand?
Sebastian Robinson
Bat out of Hell? Heaven can Wait?
Robert Ramirez
I like the second one.
Logan Nguyen
So I'm thinking WALL-E will go off on his own once Gameboy's group enters the maze. He has nothing forcing him to be in proximity with Gameboy.
It gives us an opportunity for the cockroach to incident to happen before he finds Dora's group again. I assume the map will be useful in navigating the maze, making even better time than Trevor's best goes at it.
Should the maze have a guardian?
Ryder Williams
>Should the maze have a guardian? The maze is where the crystallizing moat is located, right? Maybe it could use a guardian(s), unless the victims of the water could operate as guards before exploding.
Christopher Williams
We're doing the "corrupted into a guardian" thing on the frogmen level.
Maybe floating mechanical fish that shoot lasers? Like the ones they rode in Atlantis.
Liam Perez
Thinking about it more, the route Dora ends up taking them on could lead to some parts of the maze Trevor has not been to and those parts could have writing on the wall to give us a way to integrate the backstory we have for the jail into the actual story.
We'll need to do that on the frogmen level, the shaft, and Dan's chamber as well.
They might even need to make camp in the maze.
If the floating mechanical fish don't work out, there's also the fireflies that burn everything.
Asher Lewis
I still don't know why Sup Forums seems to speed up around this hour.
Right now it takes less than 2 and a half hours for a thread to hit the bottom of page 10, so seeing what happened to last thread, I don't have much confidence in seeing this thread still up when I wake up.
Anthony Bell
These ones? Since the liquid in the movie was connected to the crystal and the atlantean vehicles were powered by crystal shards, they could work. Browsing through the wiki, it turns out the cancelled Atlantis series was meant to crossover with Gargoyles in one episode
Jackson Gray
Bump.
Chase Gutierrez
Should it be speaking of vague reference to Dan and possibly the fruit?
Jack Green
vague, yes. We are avoiding direct mentions of scopemen and the fruit
Luke Campbell
So I guess the best course would be scenes of the Pillar Men's ancient conquests.
Oliver Morris
/sug/ dark hours, I guess.
Elijah Price
I really can't see that working.
Xavier Garcia
Yeah, those.
Maybe all the pillarman levels are lit by crystals and other light sources attract those things in the maze.
The only time the fruit should be brought up is when Wong tries to ask Dan about it.
Caleb Rogers
Have we defined the fruit's effect yet, by the way?
Colton Butler
Not that I'm aware of, only that it "supercharges" Ethan's Stand
Ethan Jones
It should have different effects on different lifeforms.
For the pillarmen, it gave them greater control over their CELs and let them more freely manipulate their frames, to the point where they weren't pillarmen anymore. It might've even granted them stands.
For stand users, it super charges their stands. It's a lesser effect than remastering. Or it could have a random effect on stand users.
Cooper Hill
I was thinking how the fruit would allow Ethan to manifests Loss into reality and came with this idea: Lose Yourself's original ability is to spread Loss, once it has become widespread the next step is to bring his concept into reality, so eating the fruit makes his Stand to lose the ability to spread Loss an gain the ability to create an effect similar to the Ork's WAAAAAGH! around himself. Gathering a huge amount of his followers, whose thoughts are consumed by Loss, will allow Lose Yourself to warp reality according to what Ethan's followers believe.
Wyatt Ward
You're lucky I actually know how orks work. That would work, I still have no idea what's going on with part 8, but that would work.
But let's come back to where we are now. In the maze, if they find writing on the walls, it wouldn't be about the fruit or the scopemen, it's be about the pillarmen and the history of the jail.
Then the next level down would have writing on the wall about how the pillarmen came to have their warrior race ways.
Then the shaft might have something about scopemen. Dan's chamber would certainly have something about scopemen written somewhere in it. The problem we might face is if Dan was born a scopeman or became a scopeman when he and some of the pillarmen who branched off from the originals discovered the fruit.
We keep talking about scopemen and how they came to be, but unless we actually find a way to insert that information into the narrative, it'll all be for nought.
Aaron Sullivan
If the writings in the wall have something to do with Scopemen without revealing their whole backstory (until part 8), one of the carvings could be a group of normal looking figures being chased out by another group dressed in mesoamerican armor, and another one about a big tree being worshipped by the scopemen (Trevor just asumes it's an example of a "tree of life" iconography). The one about the pillarmen becoming a warrior race is related to the frogpeople so it could be like pic related or the other picture with frogs stoning kids. I think Dan was a scopemen before committing all his crimes.
Anthony Clark
Remember that each layer down is older than the one above.
In the maze, the pillarmen were already at a point in their society where they were a warrior race.
Next level down is when they had just recently become like that, and Dan is even farther down than that, though Dan's chamber and the frogman prison might've been built at the same time.
Julian Myers
Man these threads have gotten slow.
Levi Lee
When was the maze level built? when Kuzco was conquering Atlantis and El Dorado?
Owen Rivera
It seems Atlantis came down first since they posed a greater threat, then he moved on to El Dorado.
I think the pillarman history we're going with here is there were a few really super ancient civilizations at war with each other, or at least at odds. Then the frogpeople attacked all of them and technology from each civilization got mixed in a way that granted them all the ability to manipulate their CELs and also their longevity. The war on the frogpeople turned them into a warrior race, and then once their common enemy was gone they fractured and went to war on each other until only Kuzco's empire remained, absorbing all the others.
It was during the forgpeople war that a group of pillarmen broke off from the rest to do their own thing elsewhere, then Dan came back from that group changed into something else with powers they didn't understand and he wrecked shit until he was caught.
Cameron Howard
We only have one guy writing and apparently he has a day job.
Gavin Morris
Two writing in this thread.
I just don't have the proper "flavor" for part 6 to really get it moving.
Ethan Garcia
at the beginning of the project we had the themes for each part in the pastebin, but since we revised part 6 plot I'm not sure which could be the theme now
Jace Thomas
It's not about theme, it's about tone.
Compare the jaguar fight to everything else in part 6 so far and I don't have the tone right enough to really carry this part.
