Yo

>Yo
>un turista en Barcelona, España
>Le compre heroina a un camello rumano
>me la inyecte
>De repente un policia cachas me detiene
>Muchacho te ves raro, ven conmigo a la estacion
>Me detienen por posesion de heroina
>vamos a tener que castigarte aunque podriamos arreglarlo
>como?
>Folla mi culo policíaco con tu delicioso sudoroso y palpitante pene quiere que hagas de mi tu sucia y docil perra

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espero que lo grabaste

Suena interesante
> Tell me more

ruskie you need 2 stop this gay shit go outside and kick a ball or shoot some shit rob faggots what ever you find fun but plz just stop this gay ass shit

youtube.com/watch?v=IsIJ0_TgKm4

>be me
>be tourist in Aussie outback
>buy a pint from an aussie pub meister
>suddenly a muscle bogan stops me on my way to my table
>oi cunt you ain't from 'round here r ya?
>right-o let's go to the billiards table
>you're taken to the backroom billiards tables for being a dirty foreigner
>oi cunt we're gonna stomp ya good but you can avoid it
>how?
>glass the next bloody lebo that walks through that door with your pooftah schooner!

This is why you deserve getting bombed

>be me
>be middle class Indian worker
>buy a porcelain toilet from an underground goa trader
>suddenly a muscle thugee stops you in the designated shitting street
>Namaste Raj your slacks don't have any poo on them!
>c'mon let's go to the rape temple
>you're taken to the rape temple for pooing in the loo
>Raj you will be gangraped, but you can avoid it
>how?
>pound my bitch thugee muscle ass with your tiny indian dhanda!

>we did it reddit!!!

>be me
>be time traveler
>buy a flux capacitor from a crazy haired scientist
>put it in your delorean
>suddenly a muscle biff stops you in the hallway
>nerd you look dopey c'mon we're going to the toilet
>you're taken to the toilet by biff's crew for being dressed out of date
>nerd you'll be given a swirly but you can avoid it
>how?
>pound my bitch biff muscle ass with your flaccid parkinson's riddled cock!

Now I want to do heroin and get fucked in the ass by a policeman in Spain

>Now I want to do heroin and get fucked in the ass by a policeman in Spain
You translation of the story is wrong, Amerifat
Learn some Spanish

>be me
>be captured american soldier in Hanoi Hilton
>buy snake wine from corrupt vietnamese prison guard
>put it in your tummy
>suddenly an emaciated gook bursts into your 5x8 bamboo prison cell
>g.i. u die now! g.i. fuck you!
>you're taken out into the swamp with a couple other Americans to be executed for being an imperialist American pigs
>g.i. we kill u! but you can avoid!
>how?
>kill all of your friends in a game of russian roulette with my shitty Smith & Wesson M&P!

I'm not talking about your fantasy of fucking a Spanish policeman (which you copy/pasta ripped off) but my fantasy of getting fucked by pic related.

>be me
>be shitposter on American ripoff of japanese imageboard
>see Russian muscle cop thread
>put it in my archive
>suddenly a Russian muscle OP stops me while I shitpost
>blyat! your shitposts are garbage I'm doxing you
>you get doxxed for being a shitty shitposter
>blyat! I'm gonna tell everyone about your mlp fetish but you can avoid it
>how?
>shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of my thread suka blyat!

Asian and on steroids? Might as well have just castrated himself

>be me
>be NYC muscle cop
>spot a qt russian tourist who's obviously high on narcotics walk by me
>boy you look weird c'mon let's go to the police station
>I arrest this russian fuckboy and throw him in the interrogation room
>boy you'll be punished but you can avoid it
>how?
>my pants grow tight as I hear his high pitched feminized voice bounce across the walls
>POUND MY BITCH COP MUSCLE ASS WITH YOUR TWINK COCK!

6/10 by Russian twink standards

>be me
>be new army recruit
>buy morphine from nigga medic
>put it in your vein
>suddenly, a muscle gunny stops you in the barracks
>son you're out of order, c'mon let's go to the brig
>you're thrown into the brig for being high on morphine
>son you'll be dishounorably discharged but you can avoid it
>how?
>pound my bitch gunny muscle ass with your twink cock!

>Be typical Canadian
>Angry as fuck because maple syrup rations were guzzled by rogue moose
>Begin shitposting on Sup Forums
>Try to insult America
>Backfires horribly
>Aussie bantz are too much
>Extremely rare American bantz hit particularly hard
>Decide to make a different thread as a vatnik
>Suddenly
>Boom of thunder extremely close by
>Look out window
>Something is floating toward dogskin hut computer is kept warm in
>It's Natalia Poklonskaya
>Natalia's floating two dozen feet in the air
>She's pregnant with a thunderstorm of righteousness
>Her belly's diameter is equal to her height
>Its smooth curvature pulses with veins
>Her Crimean-made t-shirt is stretched over a pair of breasts too large for Canadian brain to comprehend
>Either boob is nearly as big as her belly
>Nipples as big as fists pump in and out with her heartbeat
>Their weight leaves her perpetually ass-up in the air
>Said ass is a big peach in a pair of torn jeans
>A dildo wedged firmly in her cooch powers a little fan that pushes her through the sky
>She glowers in direction of dogskin hut
>Her shadow blots out the sun
>She looses a battlecry as her hands massage her jugs
>REMOVE LEAF FROM BOARD
>Her areolae begin to bloat up
>Bigger
>And bigger
>And bigger
>They become domes that moisten her t-shirt
>Milk begins to spray from her nipples
>Get slammed by germinal geysers of breast milk
>Can't stand up
>Milk pressure is too strong
>Roll over
>Immediately drown in Natalia's mummy milk
>Vision darkens
>Natalia's body drifts toward Vancouver to begin the Great Canuckian Cleansing

>be me
>be CIA operative
>take a doctor and three hostages from local militants
>put them on my plane
>suddenly, a big guy reveals himself to me
>"What's the next step of your master plan?" i ask
>he and his friends begin to crash my plane
>"There will be no survivors, but you can avoid this"
>how?
>"pound me hard in a 1v1 katana duel!"

...

i kekd so hard to thiz

>implying this couldn't happen in Rio

...

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