>Porgs are native to Ahch-To, and can be found dwelling along the cliffs of the island where Luke and Rey are. In many ways, they’re the Star Wars version of puffins. They build nests. They can fly. Their babies are called porglets.
I've already seen a couple shilling articles claiming them to be the cutest thing in the Star Wars universe and that people are already in love with them. I guess Disney can do no wrong
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This will be kino if they also have their own funny quips.
watch 'em babble in minion-speak. calling it now.
Do you think the normies have even the faintest idea of what's coming.
>They can fly
So they're bringing in the yalasamari or whatever from Thrawn books, force trees and all sorts of other bs and acting like they're doing new shit. sweet I love something old, something new,
awww they're adorable!
Im curious
At first, the conversation will be drowned out by shills trying to claim how great it is that Anakin's been retconned from being the chosen one and how great it is that Rey is basically a God
But the barriers already broke with MaRey-Sue. Normies will be shitposting within days that it's stupid that the force is a tree. Facebook will be full of memes taking the piss
But the question is whether or not it will be in good jest (ie. "we love it but it's stupid") or actually critical (ie. "what the fuck disney? bring back lucas")
Will be interesting at least
YSALAMIR CAGE CONSTRUCTING
>porglets
Kek
star wars is dead
Quick rundown on the tree?
...
Force tree made the force and gave it to a boy and girl. The boy falling to the darkside killed the girl. Snookie is the boy while marey sue is the reincarnation of the girl.
>Disney sees that Baby Groot is loved by audiences and sells over a billion in merchandising
>Disney looks over at Despicable Me's minions and sees that the movies/merchandise make billions
>Disney inserts little, "cute" animals with unnecessarily prominent roles and screentimes in order to emulate their own previous properties and the competition for the sale of toys and to generate larger family audiences for more revenue
Wait I thought the force was a Chi allegory. The whole life itself creates it thing.
So many disney movies have a character like this now, some dumb ass cute super epic and funny character to sell merchandise
BB8
K2SO
Groot
These shits
Thanks, user. That's terrible. Is that some old EU fanwank, or a new thing that leaked?
FUCK that, man. The future is FEMALE.
>company repeats business practices that have worked in the past for profit
OH MY FUCKING GOD LIFE AS WE KNOW IT IS OVER
hahahahha I love seeing Stars Wars die a slow and painful death while its manchild fans try their hardest to cope with how bad it is and convince themselves over and over that it's not that bad
Well, it's one less nostalgia-bait critter, I guess.
Something like that in the cgi clone wars. Except it was an old man instead of a tree and anakin stopped the two kids from killing each other. That's what I heard, haven't seen it myself.
It was
but the force is female now so who cares
>that mouth
Luke chose the island of flying fleshlights
Which is why people are having a pre-emptive shitfit over it.
They're changing what the force is again and they're moving away from something that was basically an eastern idea about an energy field that binds all life together, and lucas used a science-y macguffin to tie together even more and they're doing their own macguffin and something simple about trees and i'm not sure in reincarnation story is true but if it is, people are going to throw a massive shitfit.
It's going to be beautiful. They hated midichlorians. this is going to shit so hard on the OT that a collective blast of rage will erupt around the internet.
I don't get it. Why are dumb animals going to be prominent in a Star Wars movie? I don't get it. The Ewoks were intelligent, at least.
I don't get it
Rey will say "They're so cute!" or something and then Luke will say something like "They're super venomous!" or "They're delicious" or something retarded because I'm a hack screenwriter and that's what I'd do.
>that rumor about force sensitive pengujns was true
Dear lord...and those weren't even the worst spoilers. This movie might be doa
the list goes on...
C-3P0
R2D2
Jawas
wtf were they smoking
That isn't going to happen, the media has a narrative now and Star Wars is playing right into it.
>everyone hated Ewoks
>but now it's ok to love Porgs
Lucasfilm and Disney need to burn
it's been dead since 1997
disney is sooooo based *___*
Force trees and reincarnation? I suppose that is a sort of narrative there.. At least it will be easy for children to understand.
isn't this supposed to be the "dark" movie? they probably only make a small appearance
Jawa were never cute, they were shady droid salesmen and akin to used car Arabs you'd deal with in the 80s.
The droids weren't "cute and epic" either, they were the... Okay, so Greek theater had something called the "Citizens" who were more or less a collective character. They exist entirely to comment on the story or a character.
That is what the droids are, and have always been.
Got a link to a full synopsis or was that all that was leaked?
bRAVA
The Force (the Light Side at least) is feminine, and Rey is in fact an avatar of Good. The subtext here is that Luke is inferior to Rey.
Also the whole, "women are the future" thing they're pushing so hard.
At least the ewoks look like they could be some sort of intelligent alien, not just alien seapups
I wish lucas wasn't legally restrained from speaking his mind.
I bet he could write a book about how he got leveraged out of his own universe and the entire deal with the disney.
I hope he writes it and it gets released after his death.
>Hey you know those things that make repeat viewings of RotJ a chore?
>Uh yeah those stupid mini wookies
>Yeah those things, what if we shaved them and put them in episode 8
>Brilliant
The same fags who keep pissing on ROTJ because of the Ewoks are drooling over little penguins that are only designed to sell stuffed animals to little girls and reatards
If this and all of the leaks are true I will quit this franchise I have loved for so long
>Reatards
Don't you mean Reytards?
I feel like it's more that most people have accepted the disappointment at this point.
Like the entire time Lucas had it, there was hope and anger and always more hope for shit to be better, so you can feel that.
And now that they know they're getting remakes and yearly release garbage and trainwreck behind the scenes stuff.
Like Howard showing very basic shit on his twitter to show investors "Hey this isn't a trainwreck anymore, its okay to unclench. I'll fix this shit" Twitter post like doing normal director behavior is going to fix shit.
I bet the behind the scenes stories are better than what we will ever see on screen.
It's also the same people who shat on the EU because it ruined the perfect ending of RotJ but then said TFA was amazing...for ruining the perfect ending of RotJ
They're there to sell dolls and other merchandising to little girls. Guess what? They'll eat it up.
My grandfather fought nazis for us to get this shit?
He was robbed. Fucking Jews owe him, especially since they don't appreciate it and never did.
Look at the SW commercials released over the past two movies.
SW: for everyone BUT white boys.
>Trainwreck behind the scenes stuff
This interests me.
He obviously meant readhards
>My grandfather fought nazis for us to get this shit?
No, your grandfather fought Nazi Germany so a Jewish controlled central bank could be installed. This is just icing on that shit cake.
The force is female.
Time is female.
Society is female.
The media is female.
The future is female.
Your grandfather fought so you could live a comfortable life and shitpost on electronic croatian tapestry. Have some respect!
Can't wait to reincarnate and be a total slut
BONG
>I bet the behind the scenes stories are better than what we will ever see on screen.
An epic about the entire Disney saga over the last ten years would be pretty cool
>Starts with Iron Man where they didn't even have a script due to the writers' strike
>RDJ immediately becomes an insufferable prima donna
>skip forward through teething problems - gamble on gotg and James Gunn
>the entire Edgar Wright debacle
>the shit-flinging campaigns
>firing Trank from star wars after f4ntastic
>tfa failing to become the highest-grossing film of all time (and subsequent criticisms of remaking anh and mary-sue shit)
>the attempts to get spiderman back (and dealing with Sony)
>the collapse of rogue one half-way through
>firing the director of Han Solo 3 weeks before filming is supposed to finish
Aah, it could be something great. Maybe it'd work better as a tv show actually
>They taste like chicken
BRAVO RIAN
YOU ARE THE SAVIOUR OF STAR WARS
99% ON ROTTEN TOMATO
You'll get gangbanged by the school's ethnic gangs before you hit 13.
i want midichlorians back
>Like Howard showing very basic shit on his twitter to show investors "Hey this isn't a trainwreck anymore, its okay to unclench. I'll fix this shit" Twitter post like doing normal director behavior is going to fix shit.
Ron Howard and his tweets are really pathetic. It's screams desperation. I bet Kathleen Kennedy begged him to save her ass when Phil&Lord refused to modify the movie
Since '83
But user muh vagina makes life!
Star Wars used to be about setting the trends.
Porgs spinoff when?
:o3
>2 porg movies a la the ewok movies
id watch them, probably be kino too
>the absolute state of Star Wars
Some people have tried to tell me that I just got older, but I'm sorry, Star Wars and movies in general were not this shit 20-30 years ago. They just weren't.
why do you hate them so much tho
So Star Wars is ripping off Naruto? Nice
The most powerful person in the world is a cis white man
It's business 101 if you have a company's liquidity as dependent on continued investment due to brand consciousness.
Disney needs people to keep investing in them to keep it's model sustainable because right now shit like ESPN and their other stalwart brands are in major flux.
So Starwars needs to remain a certainty. Ron Howard is the plumber and he's coming in to right the ship and tell people he's got this.
It is pathetic but that's the job. You smooth over the other idiots unprofessional approach. Indie directors and comedy ones have no business being on massive bi-tent pole projects sustaining billions in potential profits. They just don't and it was a bad idea on lucasfilms part all the way through.
Disney will be up their ass for a long time because of their bad exec decisions.
>tfw there will be a blink-and-you-miss-it comment about how they use the force to fly
>tfw later in the movie, this will be the only excuse for the full on Dragonball Z/Jotaro vs. Dio style shift, where all of a sudden Rey and Kylo can both fly like Superman
>tfw this will persist into future movies, and casually flying about will be just another thing Jedi can do
>implying they will even have a comment when Rey could BS her way through everything with no explanation
Disney has to fire Kathleen Kennedy in the first place. The company will never get right as long as she's there. Making a soft reboot for the sequel is insane. It might have worked on TFA because we didn't know what it was about. But it's a troilogy, and now people know there aren't any surprise in the next movies, it will be a copy of ESB and ROTJ. Just like Rian johnson admitted, "but with different characters"
R34 on luke and rey fucking porgs get
She was probably the secret go-between that helped leverage lucas into selling in the first place. She will either retire or die before being fired from Lucasfilm.
This, she immediately turned on Lucas once the deal was made.
Do you realize that every single idea has been thought off in the EU, and any original idea anyone might have about a Star Wars character probably has something similar in the EU. Thanks autists
>Jar Jar Binks = bad
>Minions = bad
>Ewoks = bad
>Ep 9 Puffins = good
why are people reacting this way?
You know this is probably what happened:
>2012
>Shit, I'm getting old. I need to start thinking about who I want to pass the torch onto for the Legacy of Star Wars
>Kathleen, you've been my trusted friend for decades. What do you think?
>Oy Vey, you should hand it over to Disney ™. They know children, and they know how to have fun. Just look at their Marvel movies?
>Hmm, yeah, Disney! I liked that Star Tours thing we did together, and they have a good track record. Get Bob Iger on the phone!
>Hey Bob, yeah it's me, George. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about selling Lucasfilm. But hey, I want you to use my story treatments and ideas for the next Star Wars films okay?
>Oy Vey! Of cohwars Geeorge. We would NEVER do anything to hurt our bottom line-I mean Star Wars!
Normies fucking love all of those things
Jesus, cutesy animal sidekicks aside why does this look so BAD
It looks like a 2002-era CGI shot
>we want the Minions audience
It's not CGI, it's practical
Based on how depressed he seems in general and how he acted at starwars celebration, especially when harrison treated the entire thing like a joke and he joined in laughing.
Old lucas would have been pissed if harrison would have been shitting on starwars in public like that but now hes laughing with him.
That's actions of a guy that got fucked. And admitting to it would only make it look worse so he just goes with it.
I actually think he's senile no joke. He decided one day it was time to sell Star Wars on a complete whim, and now he regrets it
Link
Dude it's Star Wars lmao just turn your brain off at least it isn't I HATE SAND lol uhhhh can someone say cringe??? Haha so glad Lucas isn't around anymore
Listen, going by the other fandoms I have been part of where major changes and retconning happened to a series the hardcore SW fan reaction will be
>initial anger and hatred
>warming up to the idea
>loving and adoring these new things to the point of disowning everything before it and the people who don't like it
youtube.com
its from 40th in orlando, hold on, I need to find which video its in.
If you are 25, born under 1980 and have a PC you MUST play this game
Why a Force Tree? Why explain something which nobody questioned in the first place? Pic related
it's true...all of it
No other fandom has been like starwars bud, there is no allegory that fits.
It was under the helm of one guy, who had a specific vision, and allowed other people to create in his universe and for most part left them alone to do it.
That is unheard of and niche oriented merchandising of the universe allowed multiple fandoms to grow in same universe, again all the same timeline, no multiverse extra.
Everyone got a little of what they wanted and it just has never happened before with a product that was treated with so much reverence despite being a commercial thing in a capitalist society. Unheard of. It will never happen again.
Sir, I respectfully request that you DELETE THIS!!!!!!!
>Will Introduce The Porgs aka Ewoks 2.0
>watch 'em babble in minion-speak.
Oh god this is why they were made. We talked shit about the Ewoks for toys thing but this is so much worse they want these fuckers plastered on everything by the time the movie's done.
They want to sell toys.
Only girls buy toys this days.
So they are making a cute teddy bear for them.