/CHI/

...

:/

i stopped hoping long ago

all i ever do is day dream of better days such a sad life

there are just so many problems that all you can really do is sit there and watch life pass by you, it feels awful

it's liked we where cursed

CHI
Living the dream and I can't wake up. Anyways today was another okay-ish day.

more a nightmare desu.
>Anyways today was another okay-ish day.
same for me did my basic exercise despite not sleeping much last night

The first and only thing I wanted when I woke up was to get a good nights sleep. I'll be aiming for that tonight.

i haven't had a good rest in years. nice trips

Whatever

>nice trips
You too.

how was your day?
whats going on

Magic

what are you up to?

The usual. Just browsing the net for something to kill time. I might force myself to read a chapter from the books that my test is going to be about but i'm not sure if i'll manage that. It's basically what I read last year but simpler, it's just hard to get started.

we just live the same day on repeat. how long until your test?

About 4 months. That is plenty of time but I might still find myself in a rush if it takes me too long to get into the groove of things regarding studying. We'll see.

you should just get started now. probably won't be to good if you fail again

>probably won't be to good if you fail again
I guess that really could be the end of my ambitions and hopes, i'm not that hopeful now but there is still a small spark of hope, that spark would most likely get put out by another failure. Though I guess there are worse fates than my end game, if things go wrong i'll just become a full time neet and drop out of society. Anyways i'll put an easier option just in case, I am almost certain i'll at the very least be able to get there if I won't get into my harder options.

you have a chance to save yourself before it's to late

I'm not really sure what I should be saving myself from and what "making it" means anymore. I'm not even sure what it would take for me to have happiness as my "normal" state of mind, i'm not sure if that's even possible. Anyways i'll do what I can and what happens happens. I think I can handle disappointment fairly well, though that has not always been the case but i've had a lot of practice and I think i've learned to handle it better. Individual disappointments, failures and misfortunes feel less catastrophic now, though their collective weight grows little by little but that's something you can get adJUSTed to.

a bit of change would be good though right?

For a while certainly, whether or not it's good for the long term will depend on what kind of change. I do think studying and trying to get into that student life™ would do me some good both on the long term and short term.

Why be a chicaNO when you could be a chicaYES?

at least you could eventually have something more than just being a NEET so I guess thats also good

i'm not gay

I guess. If I could work part-time with alright hourly pay in a job that I atleast like on some level that would be better than being a neet. Though wageslaving in a job that I don't like would probably be worse than being a neet in finland.

i guess wageslaving isn't good anywhere but the change could bring some good