>Americans have to "come out" as atheists to their parents
>Americans must obtain a so-called "fancy booze licence" from their local sheriff to consume any alcohol other than Coors, Budweiser or Miller
>Americans are encouraged to become obese, as the extra fat serves as protection from gunfire
>Americans are implanted with a special microchip at birth which sends a moderate electric shock through their bodies every time they acknowledge that they lost in Vietnam
>Americans refer to the metric system as "The Forbidden Knowledge"
>Americans are shot dead by North Korean border guards in their dozens annually during attempted guerilla attacks waged with the intention of "getting revenge for Pearl Harbour"
>Americans who find themselves in the presence of Israeli Jews must perform a "submission hoedown." This involves a highly choreographed dancing performance demonstrating the American's subordinate position to the Israeli. The hoedown ends with the American loudly proclaiming "YOU DA BOSS, YEE-HAW!!"
>Americans refer to Type 2 Diabetes as "The Burden of Manifest Destiny"
>Americans visiting Auschwitz are frequently reprimanded for attempting to restart the ovens for usage with their reheatable Holocaust-themed packed lunches
>American babies are "vaccinated" with shrapnel in order to ward off mass shootings
>American children are required to undergo the "McDonald's Initiation Ceremony" on their fifth birthday, where they are taken to their local McDonald's and must ritualistically consume every item on the menu before reciting all the advertising slogans in chronological order
>Americans have formally petitioned the Oxford English Dictionary to change their definition of snow to "God's demonstration of the falsehood of global warming."
>Irish in charge of humor You need another potato famine.
Kayden Garcia
>Foreign countries oversample the worst extremes of a country that's larger than their continent. >Assume all these negatives are applied unilaterally across the American populace.
Go eat some fuckin' potatoes, O'malley.
Parker Campbell
...
Nathaniel Wilson
The irish are the muslims of the british isles. Keep carbombing Catholic potatonigger.
Cameron Miller
when the fuck did we have to start getting a fancy booze license to consume liquor?
Kayden Brooks
lots of amerifat butthurt incoming.
Luke Perry
>mfw americans are so self serious they'll actually get triggered by this
Sebastian Phillips
>Catholic is an insult in Murica
Brandon Reed
Not bad you pickled Mick. Not bad at all.
Jackson Powell
kek. very clever.
Isaiah Bell
its not as harsh as 'mexican'
Oliver Brooks
>live on island >starve from lack of potatoes >what is fishing?
Noah Johnson
>>Americans have to "come out" as atheists to their parents
Honestly I find that baffling. I don't think I know anyone my age that is religious.
Julian Taylor
>the holocaust one You got me
Jose Clark
>Americans have to "come out" as atheists to their parents Not in my case, I was a hitchens, harris and dawkins-loving fedora tipper during catholic high school years and people, including my parents, knew about it and didnt care. I do regret it now though since I grew up and started believing again. It was harder to admit I was a Catholic again than it was admitting I was an atheist
Logan Taylor
No, Britain is the muslims of the British isles
Chase Scott
Why are Europeans so obsessed with America? I've never seen an American complaining about Europe. Thank God we left this God forsaken mudslime union.
>the burden of Manifest Destiny 7/10, "Manifest Density" would've been better
Ethan James
how pathetic do you have to be to go BACK to that? go back to believing in repressive, backwards, sky-daddy cuckery?
You would think that as one grows older, they would START requiring evidence to support an argument, not STOP requiring it
Aiden Powell
>if I use the word cuck they can't tell I'm getting paid to post!
Wyatt Ward
Not to sound like we have a victim complex (that's for blacks) but they did have enough food to feed the country without the potatoes. Coincidentally, the British took that.
Jonathan Cruz
>Americans compare their shits before the dinner to see who will win the extra pizza piece.
Gabriel Miller
Rude of Americans to appropriate Indian culture like that.
Wyatt Collins
They aren't white, I can tell you that much
Jeremiah Jones
Sweden is literally the syria of Europe
Nathaniel Diaz
...
Landon Collins
How the hell do you become so fat that fat starts storing in your forehead?
Julian Hernandez
Large culture groups in America heavily focus on food. Some families take that already big emphasis on food and combine it with their individual very addictive personality and you get forehead fat.
