The writer of Ready player one used to write about porn for nerds and it's the worst thing I've ever seen

The writer of Ready player one used to write about porn for nerds and it's the worst thing I've ever seen

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across
was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males
Men who like their women stupid and submissive
Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos
with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected
liposuctioned women
Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation
in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
Fact.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.
I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:
Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world
is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,
I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:
Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework,
and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her
for hours and hours
until she reluctantly asks if we can stop
because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Summa cum laude, baby!
That is what I call erotic.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=bF67Mm0l4Pw
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?
No.
Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.
I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.
And the women in my porno movies will be the kind
that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.
The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.
Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.
Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses
and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.
My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
beat them repeatedly at chess
and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies
because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.
There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren
of all sexual orientations.
Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a fucking gold mine.
I am gonna make millions,
because this country is full of database programmers
and electronics engineers
and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.
And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,
and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,
then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.
It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful. . .
And I will make you a star.

So he wants nerd girl porn? Because that fucking exists already.

He wants to talk to le intelegient womyn no sex stuff

give me a TL;DR, doc. i'm not reading that shit

>NERDS ARE SO AWESOME XD XD LOL

Is this man the physical embodiment of Reddit?

>Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world is a woman who is smarter than you are.
But thats wrong, you retard.

just get some novelty thick-rimmed glasses and put them on a prostitute

youtube.com/watch?v=bF67Mm0l4Pw

im a nerd and I have a smart gf

when i watch porn I want some dumb slut who shuts up and does what she's told and I imagine everyone else does. It's not enough for this faggot to be cucked in real life, he also wants it in fantasy?

WHY DOES HE PUT A LINE BREAK AFTER FUCKING SENTENCE

because he's literally r*ddit

holy fucking shit

Absolutely this i dont want to empathize whit the girls in porn then i would feel bad i want to see them as objects ffs

...

Calling it, this jumps the shark and forces people to get over jacking off to the 80s. I sold my supra and my 280zx and invested in a Lancer evolution because of these faggots.
>Bro is that a starion???
>your car looks like a DeLorean!
I cri evry tiem

>all the porn I've come across was targeted at... Alpha males
Stopped reading right there, all porn is directed towards easily amused chimps who can't stop touching themselves, not alphas.

delet this

Finally, another sapiosexual. When will the rest of the world become enlightened like us?

The best part is that for all his long winded purple prose diatribe bullshit the 'nerdy girl coming out her shell' thing has been a porn staple for decades now. For some of the smaller girls those kinds of shoots are their fucking bread and butter, he has no idea what he's talking about.
Honestly I don't think this has anything to do with porn in the first place, I think he just wanted an easy podium to shout his holier than thou shit off of. He could be talking about fast food or watching television or telling rape jokes, the only thing that matters is that he doesn't do it and you do and he wants you to know that makes him better than you. Fuck off

He pretends he wants this in porn... But he really just wants a great and knows he has to settle for his stupid fantasy of being a submissive to a smart woman

I haven't met a woman who's smarter than me.

Due to IQ distribution between the sexes, I doubt I will either, smart women exist but they're in so few numbers I doubt I'll find one in my lifetime.

Women can only really be smarter than you if you have an IQ of around 100, or lower.

Past 120, or 130 it becomes hard to find women who are smarter than you, basically.

>tfw the girl in porn seems sweet and nice so you just get sad and lonely after you cum

...

Reddit spacing

I never understood "reddit spacing." That's how you type if you've ever been in a uni level English course :/

Separating every sentence with a line break is terrible formatting unless it's dialogue.

no it's not, how many novels do you read that have a new paragraph for every couple sentences. is this an American thing?

It's also how you process information if you're used to internet relay chat or bbs, but those are obsolete. To be honest a line break only makes sense when you're parsing new information, but still.

In other news, here's a line break.