Whats the best way to kill yourself?

this is my preferred way:

>wait until Halloween
>go to the largest building on campus
>hang yourself from the roof dressed as a scarecrow
>for the next few days everyone will make jokes about the dank decoration
>few more days pass and normies start wondering where user is
>after about a week ppl start noticing a strange smell
>then some school staffers cut the rope of the smelly "decoration"
>your soggy rotten body explodes on the pavement below

im not really sure what would happen if someone did this. it would absolutely make national new and possibly end Halloween

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I like it OP, but you'd be cut down within a couple days surely? If you're leaving Halloween decorations up for a week you're doing it wrong.

I'd go to a mosque or rapefugee camp and take as many with me as I could. Unfortunately for the rest of you I have a lot to live for so won't be doing this. Any takers?

>and possibly end Halloween
kek

Hope you've got a licence for that edge m8.

Fly a plane into the Kaaba. You'd achieve personal goals and cause potentially centuries of lels.

Bonus point for proclaiming you're a Shiite Muslim as you ram the plane.

>not wanting to go out crusading
why are you even here?

you're an idiot if you do this

I keked

what is reading
>I have a lot to live for so won't be doing this
looks like you are the idiot

>if you kill your enemies they win

Just do it dressed as a Muslim lol

niggers on here can not psy-op for shit

Superglue your hands to your head and hang yourself with piano wire. You'll need someone to clean up after you.

I'm not about to grass myself up on a Venezuelan juju bead sorting enthusiast forum am I?

Get a long range rifle and die taking out Shillary. Or attempt a false flag on Trump

thats pretty good. basically i wanna make a mess and be a national sensation. the best way possible (mess wise) would be flying a wingsuit into a mesh that would splatter you all over a crowed city street.

i like the idea of taking out some shitskins but i just kinda want off this ride asap

that couldnt possible secure a dontron victory. also i would probably not kill myself till i see this election. its the last thread of hope that keeps my life together

Storming a mosque with a kalashnikov and killing 25-50 muslims and then get shot by the anti-terror units

I would say this except there's already been 2 failed attempted assassination attempts, and nobody wen picked it up really

See this Just make sure to false flag as some sort of Jewish nationalist or shia Muslim convert who hates other Muslims or something so that Trump doesn't get blamed.

Yep, actually the good way of doing this would be to first convert to Islam.
THEN you make them take the blame and plunge your country into chaos as hate crimes rises.

oh you're serious? In which case just gas yourself with helium mate. No pain, no mess, really easy. You just drift away.

If you want to cause a huge mess though, climb to the top of a skyscraper, scatter a handful of pennies below you as you are about to jump to warn people below and then take a dive. The mess when you hit will be unreal and as long do it off a landmark skyscraper you'll be all over the news.

If you're planning on taking others with you, don't do it before the election, they will dig into your past and find out you support Trump. He gets enough bad press as it is.

When the bantz get real

what if you dropped a bunch of large bills and quarters then jumped. maybe you could kill or at least maim some jews. also nice dubs

terminal velocity of coins is too low to kill anyone, it might give some people a nasty bump on the head but that's about it

naw im saying you would attract some jews and then land on them. im not fat but maybe i could carry a large duffel bag of bricks and splatter orthodox jews

I think it's my duty to inform you that killing yourself is not a viable solution for your problems. I know the ride is rough, but I'm sure there is a better way for you to become a national sensation without killing yourself.

I can't imagine wanting to die and wanting to hurt others. Only mudslimes carry out suicide attacks, or legitimately crazy people. The vast majority of those that commit suicide just want to pass away peacefully, preferably alone and without a lot of fuss. If you're so depressed you want to kill yourself, hurting others seems unthinkable. You already know what it's like to feel so low that you dont want to put others through anything like it.

lost my shit

>not wanting to attack others with no regard to your personal safety

Berserkers are the only true Aryans.

but it is viable. sure there are other ways to go about it. but to put it simply
1. I caused a nasty car accident today cuz im a stupid piece of shit
2. This thick Aryan wont text me back
3. no one else loves or respects me and i dont want to go back to univ with all my superficial "friends"

i just feel useless and disrespected. i just want to cause a scene and stop this whole "make money spend money ,hangout with ppl so they think your interesting, and drink so juuuuuuust maybe this chick will sleep with me, thing

The best way to kill yourself is shotgun in mouth, though care must be taken in pointing the gun correctly.
Absent shotguns, the next best way is hanging, assuming you are able to break your neck.

Well shit user, it sounds like we are in a similar situation. There are people out there who understand, I've got a cousin I hang out with who understand the superficiality of our society.

I don't know if you like comedy, but this dude Sam Hyde and MDE, have a tv show on Adult Swim which is pretty funny and addresses stuff like you are complaining about, maybe it will make you laugh, hope it helps.

youtube.com/watch?v=6QPdTA5HOqM&channel=UCWgM19rQ0bEAU8xcFQvQBNg

someone once told me the best way to insure that you'er dead a shit is to shoot yourself while standing on the ledge of a tall building.

> Buy disposable cellphone
> Set up quick disposable email
> Buy unregistered firearm off the street
> Go home, cut square hole in drywall
> Install spool from window shade
> Attach 30' cable from spool to gun
> Install hinged vent door that closes shut when hit
> Use bogus email to send cryptic threatening messages to self
> Use bogus phone to send cryptic threatening messages to self
> Write cryptic symbols and messages all over walls of apartment
> Wait to late at night, go out on balcony
> Stand on other end of railing with gun in hand
> Shout and scream for 10 seconds pleading for my life
> Shoot myself in the head behind my ear
> I die as I fall
> Gun is pulled from hand, gets spooled back into hole, vent door falls shut.
> Police investigation finds cryptic messages to victim.
> Victim was involved in something before he was killed and thrown off balcony.
> Make news from bizarre murder
> Live forever as a cold case file.

I've always thought I'd walk into a store with a concealed carry, ask them if they have something that i know they don't have. (Like go to a restaurant with coke and ask for pepsi, or try to buy sold out movie tickets) and when they deny me, just say "that's ok" turn around and blow my brains out

holy kek
reminds me of the intellilink southpark episode where the tech guy is like "thank you installing intellilink, i hope our services were satisfactory" (proceeds to blow his brains out)

thanks m8, comedy is the best way to deal with stress

Kill yourself like Hannibal kills Pazzi

youtube.com/watch?v=tgg-Fay2zzs

Legit convert to Shiite.
pledge allegiance to Iranatolla

i dont think that would work. im a white male after all

Columbine is easily the lulziest way to go

No problem man, just don't do anything rash, America needs good people.

>love it user, just love it.

i bealive that the best way to kill yourself is...

>wait for december 24.
>Get a truck.
>Ram the airport fence and drive thru the airstrip.
>Crash a lifting plane with no survivors
>fuck lots of people chrismas.
>Get your tendies in heaven cos hell doesnt exist according to the pope.

The psyops of what would happen if someone false flagged trump is funny

>all those jews screaming at each other
>OY VEY WHO SAID TO TAKE THE SHOT

Um, it's obviously to massacre a bunch of people, then force the police to kill you, you fucking fag. Have some dignity.

Suicide bomb the suicide bombers, sounds like a relatively solid plan.

I've always been a fan of ordering something at some sit down burger joint like Steak'n'Shake.
>I said NO pickles!
>BANG

Start exercising. Stop watching TV. Eat no junk food. Learn two foreign languages. Study Jiu Jitsu and boxing. Don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or drink coffee.

If you still want to kill yourself after a year, you're doing it wrong.

i did that in GTA once, i wonder if the physics checks out/

i like cops tho, they are masculine. would rather kill a bunch of niggers/fatties/feminists

Right; you don't have to kill any cops, fag, you just have to force them to shoot you, unless you want to shoot yourself after you smoke a bunch of undesirables.

i have been lifting and doing bjj for about 2 years but it doesnt solve the mild autism i have from being home schooled till 6th grade. it just seems to give me more confidence so i can fuck up harder

i still feel like a weird failure with no future. (at least no future im looking forward to.) i just want off this ride

Hang yourself with piano wire on a busy street (or a ctiy's New Year's Eve event).

Dubs are truth man, try working on improving yourself and try to achieve personal goals.

There's a lot to live for man, find something you enjoy in life.

You two should blow each other before you kill yourselves.

...

i enjoy jiu jitsu, but in few weeks i go back to univ where i study engineering a become a shut with nothing to live for. i just cant take these bad days anymore.

the dream would be to go out like gif related on live TV

...

feel you on # 2...

went to the bar last weekend and danced & made out with a 9/10.

she doesn't seem that interested in me anymore... oh well, gotta go get another one

Balls deep in something hot, young and tight.

You're ruining the moment

Man up dude, I don't have any friends at college, I spend most of my days shitposting, I'm openly conservative writer for my college newspaper that is staffed by liberals who don't like me. I haven't even talked to a girl remotely interested in me for more than a year, I'm sure shit will get better eventually, personally I just want to get a nice little place up in Alaska after college.

insulin

>diabetic coma

I studied engineering. it may be lack of sleep and exercise that is causing your depression. get out more.

The chain reaction of explosions that would occur would cause the entire Middle East to be wiped out in a matter of a few minutes

Take as many non-whites with you as you can. That's the best way.

>suicide bomber flash mob

I know Sup Forums can do this

Exit bag easiest.

Personally I'd get knee deep in SEA'n opium dens, try multiple jailbaits, probably trample some tramps and see if I feel like exit bagging or kebab removing.

>obtain dimethylmercury
>inject two drops into thousands of menthols, chicken wings, and bottles of Old English
>hand them out at BLM events
>do this for months until the first symptoms of heavy metal poisoning starts, because no matter how careful you are you're probably going to fuck up
>murder-suicide at CNN office

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Go after criminal gangs. You people constantly complain about the criminality in your countries, why the hell wouldn't you try to wage war against drug gangs?

>Find the sharpest chicken wire you can and tie a noose and put your head through it.
>Make sure you're standing up high.
>Get some crazy glue and glue both hands to the sides of your head.
>Jump.
>The force of you falling combined with the razor sharp wire should sever your head but your hands will stay attached
>when they find you it will look like you pulled your own head off

Fighting a bear.

Sounds like a Mentos moment.

haha holy shit. i would love to do that live on Conan or something. just fall into the guest couch like that

>preferred way
Are you researching how to do this? Suicide doesn't have to be the answer, friend.

If you just want to see a badass Halloween prank, don't kill yourself, murder your wife's boyfriend or someone else you hate.

I'd be a serial killer and kill a bunch of women. And when the police eventually figure me out I'll go to trial and have some fun with it. Like, set up a meeting with the family of one of the victims to "be remorseful" and all but then just tell them how hot it was to kill their daughter and all. And so then at sentencing I'd assault the bailiff or something to try and get myself killed.

that's a joke from a DS album. I approve

Bonus points if you do it over a basketball hoop and dunk your own head.

Drowning in beaver.

Do it as a Christian. Say you're under orders from the Vatican. Wear crusader symbols.

Cuck identified.

the only correct answer is to suicide bomb the NY stock exchange or possibly mustard gas it.

but I'm not going to do that, one of you retards can.

that would be pretty fun. like joke about it constantly whist pleading insanity.

just wait till you have a bad day. then go chainsaw some banker jews in broad daylight

Smothered under TayTay's ass and forced to breathe her farts.

None of the jew leeches are on the exchange floor, though. It'd be like killing the tellers at the bank to get back at the Rothschilds.

t. psychotic robot

ravishing suicide idea bro

I like the way you think, but I'd do it a tad different

>find a group of Indian students who got low marks in their exams (they have a high suicide rate)
>eat nothing but heaps of chili pakora and pani puri for two weeks
>hold all our poo in for this duration using buttplugs
>go to the kabba, right in front of the black stone
>backs facing the stone, we'd drop our pants, blaspheming the kabba with the sight of our buttocks
>'heads down, bums up, release the floodgates'
>streams of brown poo are unleashed over the mass of pilgrims, in an acid attack that even Muhammad would grudgingly envy
>a grand stampepe, the likes of which the world has never seen, ensues
>worshippers of Allah beg for his intercession, but torrents of burning brown fluid continue to rain down
>scores of people go blind merely from the gas, the last thing they see is a glorious brown cube where the kabba once stood

Heroin
Also, don't be a dumbass and do it when everybody is home. You might not note the passage of time as you lay there unconscious, but it takes awhile to die from an overdose. In-fact, most if not all EMTs carry Naloxone to instantly purge your receptors of Opiates/oids.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, imagine the biggest warmest blanket, and you get to sleep forever in that blanket. There's your incentive.

cmon you would end one day when normies can be edgy with their costumes
Preferred way of goin out in the bath high as fuck on weed and some opiates
or middle of public place like railroad station on the crowded day bullet to the head

>or middle of public place like railroad station on the crowded day bullet to the head
I've wondered what people would do if they saw something like that, like you make a scene to get their attention then just draw on yourself as they all stare in confusion.
>Preferred way of goin out in the bath high as fuck on weed and some opiates
Good to see we have something in common polandbro.