Every time I hear about Valerian it seems to be people talking about how awful Cara Delevingne is and how casting her...

Every time I hear about Valerian it seems to be people talking about how awful Cara Delevingne is and how casting her is the main reason why it flopped (I think putting an enormous budget into a new franchise nobody outside of France has ever heard of is the main reason, but eh). Even my mother knows who she is and hates her. But I've never even heard of her until this movie. So what the fuck? What did she do that so completely eradicated everyone's goodwill towards her? And why haven't I heard of it?

She was born and raised in Belgravia, one of the wealthiest cities in the world, in which her father own dozens of properties
her godfather is one of the highest ranking executives of Conde Nast, which owns maybe 50% of the magazines you know
as a model she was MAGICALLY picked up by Vogue (that's funny, doesn't her godfather own that?) and has been a shit model ever since
she's placed in films by family friends who pull strings
I have gripes with models being placed in films with inadequate acting talent but imagine being so incompetent you have to have strings pulled to place you in modelling.

she's the perfect imagine of wealthy nepotism

Well first off, she was awful in it. Movie might have been workable except her.

this and she is also not very good looking, I mean sure Photoshop and CGI and bring you far but everyone knows its all fake and that she has the sloped forehead of a Troglodyte and the body of a fridge.

Stop with these lies, she's a NATURAL beauty

looking for longer as 3 seconds at that picture made my balls slowly retreat closer to the body.

disgusting Neaderthal face.

next please post the picture of her in the bikini so we can all be mirrin dat fridge.

NATURAL, yep

The funny thing is if she was marketed as a tomboy/girl next door I think many would buy that. but not as a "Hottie" which she not. Her best feature is her proto-unibrow

Who are some actresses who are marketed as tomboys? I can't think of many.

There is no way a silly sci-fi movie triggers people this much.

This is clearly a smear campaign by Disneymarvel employed viralmarketers.

>people
>Sup Forums

I think it's normal for Sup Forums, literally every movie gets shitposted no matter how good it is. For every thread about how awesome Dunkirk or Apes 3 was, there's twice as many threads calling them shit. And those are two movies that Sup Forums actually likes.

Ellen Page, Kristen Stewart, and Hillary Swank all had decent runs as tomboys.

Kristen Stewart was a tomboy in one fucking movie

They don't seem to realize that normies don't care about all this stuff and where simply uninterested in the trailer.

This, even moveis that almost everyone agrees are classic movies some will shit on (Thin Red line - "Muh Grass" and so on.)

The issue with this film is that you have two films that you can watch right now that are going to be very well regarded - the 3rd ape film made a nice ending and its one of the few hollywood trilogies that haven't been fucked up in the last ten years, and Dunkirk is very good.

And peopel are still shitting on Apes and Dunkirk.

and now you have a film that genuinely bad, but takes itself too seriously to be campy enjoyment. So of course it going to get trashed.

>Every time I hear about Valerian it seems to be people talking about how awful Cara Delevingne is and how casting her is the main reason why it flopped


has it flopped? it hasn't been released in Australia yet. what if every single Australian went to see it four times?

It's weird that Valerian would have the problem of "taking itself too seriously to be campy enjoyment" because many of Besson's films, especially The Fifth Element, make a point of NOT taking themselves too seriously. Dude's good at camp.

She been a tomboy in a lot of movies user....Hell, in one or two movies i thought she WAS a boy.

>Hell, in one or two movies i thought she WAS a boy.
Time to look up this actress I guess.

There's Panic Room and that's about it.

what if every single Australian went to see it four times?
Would the warden even allow that?

Its is a shame, as if he allowed it to be campy it would have been entertaining at least.

Its flopped hard.

It made 18 million in the US. They still need to make 45 million just to cover the US promotion costs.

Not only is europa going to get hit hard by this, but a lot of film distributors are going to get burned as they invested into the film as part of a package from Europa.

It so bad more then one company might go belly up. it needs to make at this point about 600 million overseas to break even.

what surprises me is that they would trust Besson to make a good movie after seeing "Lucy"

>what surprises me is that they would trust Besson to make a good movie after seeing "Lucy"

It wasn't about Lucy's quality, but how much money it made, which it made a truckload of.

I'm not going to watch it because I hate her desu

Lucy actually made a ton of money.

40 million budget

126 million domestic
336 overseas.

That a huge profit. and that doen't count tv/streaming/Disc sales.

Dane is a boy, don't be mean!

I liked Lucy, I think people took it a bit too seriously because they got hung up on the science part.

I see your point, but a lot of people went to see Lucy thinking "it's a good trailer, and it's by a guy who made fifth element so it's gonna be great"

And now it's "It's a good trailer but it's by the guy who made Lucy".

And honestly, there are a ton of colorful space movies this year so it's not like it stands out lol

For a movie like Lucy, even if it does pull the "We don't use all of our brains" junk, I am fine as long as it internally consistent.

At this point, when a non-Cape movie makes money I am happy, as we are getting way too many cape films as that what sells at the moment.

The trailer I saw for Valerian mentioned Leon (annoyingly they called it "The Professional"), The Fifth Element, and Nikita on top of Lucy so I think most people would be sold on it by those first three.

>Belgravia
>A city

Normie's don't like pedokino and overrated scifi cult classics starring chris rock

Chris Rock was hilarious in that movie and paved the way for transgender acceptance, my man.

a counter attempt to an attempt was made

The fuck are you on about?

*wink wink*

I think she's cute and I thought she was an adequate actor in that one John Green movie I saw parts of.

The clips of this, on the other hand, make her seem awful. Like, ludicrously bad.

Ruby Rose off the top of my head.

That's an anime character you idiot.

a 12 year old asked me out once.
I just ran away when she told me her age, literally jumped in the car and speeded away.

What the fuck does this have to do with the thread?

Just thinking out loud here but if Nick took hey Arnold! and decided to make a live action movie, she'd make a good aged up Helga

just sayin man, never trust anyone

This is objectively incorrect.

>on the science part
you mean pseudoscience

Yes, people got triggered that it used pseudoscience and ardently refused to enjoy the film. Even though tons of films are inaccurate and people still love them, like Braveheart.

Still not seeing how that relates to Cara.

>mfw just now notice i'm not in the TCAP thread

Freudian slip, perhaps.

it was in the other tab

sorry m8

She is not the only, nor the worst problem the movie has. Hell the guy playing Valerian isn't much better. Neither of them have any charisma.

The real reason it flops however is the most common reason for movies to be shit and that's a bad script. Besson should have taken those 200 gorillion euros and hired a fucking writer.

That's okay, this thread isn't really going anywhere anyway.

So going off the title, her name is "The City of a Thousand Planets"? That's a really weird name.

Well to be fair she does have a decent size penis

I haven't seen it, but it's odd that you say that the writing is the problem since Besson himself wrote it and some of the other films he's written have been pretty good in that regard. I wonder why this one went wrong.

Thing is though, in most cases people go out and see the movies without knowing anything about the script. So I doubt its flopping had anything to do with the writing, because people would have seen it already. The writing just accounts for the poor reviews. I do think that it's a combination of 1) people disliking the actors and 2) people having no interest in some random sci-fi film.

That said, I can't imagine Besson is too bothered. He's already got some Navy SEAL movie lined up, as well as a sequel to Lucy. So it's not like one flop means he stops getting work.

I don't know, but Besson has been a bit of a hit or miss for me historically, Leon is one of my favorite movies ever, I liked Nikita, always thought 5th Element had a weak story and was very overrated.

I also love the Valerian comics and I thought Besson directing a big budget space opera with the story drawn from such great source material was the perfect formula, but no. The movie just doesn't work, and it's because the story is a meandering, confused mess that feels more derivative of existing scifi movies (like Avatar) than something that captures the spirit of the comics.

I meant "flopping" more in the sense that it's a bad movie, I know that's not what flopping means but eh. The fact that the movie just isn't very good and gets bad reviews must be a factor.

Yeah, well, to be honest, I mean, that's just, like, you know, like, your opinion.

My take:

No worthwhile characters. Not one interesting line spoken in the trailer. Just "ayy lmao" shit. I don't need to sit through two hours of that shit.

Her super rich parents bought her a modeling career. Now they are attempting to buy her an acting career. She obliviously pretends as if there is something special about her that caused all this stuff to just happen. It seems like she really believes she would have been famous without a rich family.

She can't act. She's a less-attractive version of Gwynneth Paltrow, and Paltrow was fucking ugly.

Saw the movie, she was fine in it. The movie is just kinda goofy and kiddy so everyone's butthurt about it. It's inbetween fifth element and journey to the center of the earth in terms of substance and maturity, so there's no obvious target demographic

>a sequel to lucy

>cast a crackhead twink and a non-gendered gremlin

I wonder what was Besson thinking. He's better than this.

>a crackhead twink and a non-gendered gremlin
Which one is which?

DAMN those eyebrows are THICC.

I fail to see how is this is a problem.
Nepotism makes the world go round.

Twinks refer to males, but I understand why you'd be confused.

Yes, that is the joke, my friend.

I don't even think its based on the comic book, in the comic book Valerian and Laureline are time travellers with Laureline actually being picked up by Valerian in the past by mistake

So why'd he even use the name Valerian? That is weird.

They didn't make any mention of her origins in the movie did they?

Also they were time AND space agents, not all of the stories revolved around time travel.

Found the kike.

Why didn't the girl use her spacesuit when she was kidnapped by the retard-aliens?
Valerian was Iron Man when he was smashing through the station. What, did she forget to charge her batteries?

This chick's eyebrow game is pretty good but hey, she's no Lily Collins.

All they mentioned was that she's his partner and a Lieutenant where he's a Major.

This time she'll use 200% of her brain

Need a picture of ScarJo with that "200%" meme and under 200% it says "brain."

>Major
Motoko?

>triggers
I think the problem with this movie is that nobody really gives a shit about it one way or the other.
If Sup Forums is your measure about what triggers people, then you'd think everybody's triggered 24/7 since that's how things are around here.

>nobody really gives a shit about it one way or the other.
You wouldn't know from the constant threads about it here.

It's not like some of us actually like the comic and wanted this to be good

To me this was almost as big of a disappointment as Prometheus.

Again, if you go by Sup Forums, everybody's triggered by everything. If you step out of your room, you'll see it isn't like that. People just didn't care about this movie in any way.

Sure, you might have your own legitimate complaints but fans of Valerian and Laureline not liking it is not the reason why it flopped.

>TFW you actually like women with really thicc eyebrows
I think she's pretty great looking to be quite honest family.

British 10/10

>new franchise nobody outside of France has ever heard

I bet you don't even know who is Bob Morane or even who is the Yellow Shadow, you illiterate cunt.

I liked it too. 7/10

france is irrelevant
deal w/ it

What are either of those things? Seriously.

Anything outside of America cinema besides Daniel Bruehl might as well not even exist.

She is legitimately below average. How the fuck is she a "model"? Did her daddy pay her through?

racial preference is a form of nepotism. are you saying there's something wrong with preferring to be around or giving preferential treatment to your own race?

>What are either of those things?

That's my point.

>tfw no male (female) meme to bring in a golden age of tomboyposting
I hate faggots so much

>beta nu-male faggot as the "hero"
>fugly tranny looking bitch as the "stronk womyn"

This is why it failed.

This is also why it DESERVED to fail.