Confession time

>be me
>know French and Dutch
>decide to be the "Ugly American"
>go to the Netherlands
>clap when the plane lands
>all the Dutch are looking at me like I am a retard even though they were literally just in NYC
>decide to wear a "Yankee's" baseball cap, a souvenir t-shirt, and cargo shorts with flip-flops and a pair of sunglasses pulled back on my hat
>time to trigger some Europoors
>go to a restaurant
>no-one is there except the server and some Indian/Paki guy
>I say ''ECKSKEWZ MI, LIDDIL LAIDEE, MAI I HAB A PRIME RIB KOOCKED WELL WITH KETCHUP"
>says "huh"
>say it louder and moving my hands
>Paki/Indian or whatever guy laughs at his seat
>she becomes visibly ass-devastated and cannot handle my superior American /bantz/
>she goes back into the kitchen and says some "fat, ugly, stupid american is here" in Dutch
>Paki guy is still laughing uncontrollably
>Make the loudest groan I could make and leave, I bet they looked like the angry crying wojak
>decide to go liberate another establishment
>even more dead, literally no-one except a server and a hostess
>say "MAY I GET A LARGE HAMBURGER WITH FREEDOM FRIES TO GO"
>they are confused
>I know they speak English
>they say to each other in Dutch
>I am now a fat ugly american
>I am 6''3 and 160 pounds I do not know what they're saying
>decide to argue with them I am not fat in English
>confused
>they ask each other if I know Dutch
>I put on a puzzled look
>call the anti-American Muhammads and leave
>They call me an evil racist

will continue if you care

>go someplace to eat for real
>next day
>at hotel desk
>give my American driver's license as an id card
>says "Oh, you're an AMERICAN"
>you want to play it that way Europoor
>say "You'd all be speaking Japanese if it weren't for us"
>the Europoor is buttblasted now
>time to finish them off
>say "you're food is awful, it literally made my poop solid, it should be liquid, that is how awful your food is"
>she believes me
>leave, saying, "Dutchie, you're too socialist to be even near our level of greatness"

I have more

Booli

All Americans should act like this in the Netherlands.

so this is how murica liberated europe in 1945

please post more
I haven't seen such an entertaining post in a while

gib more
I wish I were wh*Te just so I could act like this and trigger wh*Teys in yurope

>tfw epitome of a fat, ugly, amerishart
>shameless
wish I could do this myself
show them the TRUE POWER of Ameriga

>walking down the street
>stupid Europoor thinks he can be near me while walking
>whatever, I know he is mentally deficient, so I will let this one slide
>Europoor says, "make more room on the sidewalk, I do not need tourists taking up too much room"
>what did the euroshit just do? He is trying to socialize the goddamn sidewalk
>I tell him I make 6 figures therefore I should have more of the sidewalk and his poor ass should be in the poorhouse with the niggers
>he calls me an elitist, racist, American pig
>I say why do Muslims always need to call people pigs
>he says he is obviously white
>call him racist and he is a Muhammad and to enjoy being run over by Achmed
>says I am a bigot
>tell him the Trump is going to deport him from America back to the Middle East
>this Europoor has met a level of ass-annihilation even I have ever seen
>his face is red
>he cannot handle my American /bantz/
>leave before he can respond

>father is argie
>mother is from brazil
>i look latino as fuck, but still exotic for chileans
>i can make a good argie impression to fool chileans but not argies/uruguayans
>use it to get special treatment in tourist locations
>girls get easier when i do it

Only works on summer, but eh, still works.

Mutt

based

>be ameriMIXED
>be proudly 63% European, 27% BLACK, and 10% Cherokee
>yet look wh*Te so people treat me like one
>take a plane to hamburg because i'm feeling hungry
>take up several seats with my rolls of fat and humongous dick that comes from my BLACK heritage
>all the euro women take turns sucking my cock as their purebreed neutered soylent slurping husbands watch in impotent horror
>even the pilot is intimidated, due to my sexual prowess and the fact that my weight is putting considerably stress on the plane
>barely make it to the airport, i am disappointed with the flight but clap out of politeness
>i walk into the airport and stop at the nearest mcdonalds
>talk to the puny wh*Te boy at the register
>"hey hans, is this the first person you served that wasn't a muslim
>i laugh heartily. i can hear the women working there giggle softly with their eyes locked on my visibly erect dick
>"no, can i take your order sir
>"I'll take two big macs and a quarter pounder. the reason i like mcdick's so much is because they don't skimp out and sell third pounders, you know'
>"would you like fries with that"
>"NEIN"
>wait for my order while making numerous sexual gestures toward the staff and ranom customers
>"hey fatty, your order's ready
>?
>start to boil with rage at this insult
>forcibly expel my remaining white genetics in the form of cum, spraying directly into the mouths of every girl in the store
>"IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, YOU'D ALL BE SPEAKING GERMAN RIGHT NOW!!!"
>start to morph into something so horrible and yet so beautiful that all pure Aryans who witness it die instantly
>"WHITER THAN YOU, AHMED"
>by now, my transformation is complete
>i have become LA LUZ EXTUNGISHIDO
>consume all of europe into my black abyss of a stomach
>become the eternal BLACK emperor of the universe and usher in the end of history

>decide to pay a visit to the Anne Frank house
>other American tourists
>walk outside
>dutchie minding his own business a few FEET away
>smoking a cigarette
>I say "hey Eurotrash, enriching my people I see"
>he is confused
>that tobacco you're smoking is grown in America
>he says it is fine tobacco from France or wherever
>tell him it is surrender-monkey shit
>tell him that you Danish better start defending against the Frenchie invasion
>he says he is Dutch
>I said what brings him to Copenhagen?
>he says we are in Amsterdam
>I say yes, the capital of Denmark
>he says we are in the Netherlands
>I say yes, because we're in Amsterdam
>he says I am bad at geography like all Americans
>I say listen, Eurotrash, the only reason you even EXIST is because we, your saviors in America, decided to give pity upon you and save you against the English menace
>he says that it was Germany you we fighting against and the Canadians saved the whatever-the-country
>I say but you are the Canadians
>He says that he is Dutch
>I say yes, from Sweden
>He says that we are in his homecountry, the Netherlands, home of the Dutch
>I said I thought you were Netherlandish
>he says he is from the Netherlands, yes
>I say I thought you were Dutch, from the Dutchboy paint factory
>he says "NO NO NO, the Dutch are from the Netherlands
>ask him why he is in the US
>I say I am going to have to call the government to deport you now, Trump is going to fire you back from mexico from a cannon
>he gets assmad and throws the cigarette into my face and throws coffee on my shirt
>I say I am now going to sue him for everything he owns
>he punches me
>I push him onto the ground
>I take a McDonald's hamburger wrapper with a half-eaten patty and throw it on him
>he cries that it is disgusting
>he says that us Americans are evil racists and fat and stupid
>I say he is Muhammad, therefore, not white
cont.

>I say that I am 100% English, German, Morroccan, and Saudi therefore 100% white and he is just a Muhammad
>fart in his general direction
>throws coffee on me
>leave
>he just couldn't handle my superior /bantz/ like the digusting Muhammad he is

but these are true stories

are you denying the power of the mixed man? know your history uncle hans

lmao, I saying the ones I had the guts to do, not some shitty meme

Kek. Americans thinking they're immune to this shit.
>Be me
>Britbong in Orlando, Florida on holiday
>Throw on my dirtiest Manchester United clothes and become complete full-kit wanker
>Walk up to Amerishart McDonald's worker
>"Hot as fuck in't it lad?!"
>The Amerishart freezes with horror at my unintelligible accent
>"w-what would you like sir?"
>"Bloody Hell! You're straight to the point aren't you mate? I'd like meself a couple o' nug-nugs and a fair few chips."
>"Can you repeat that please si-"
>I spot an Americlap with a Liverpool hat on. In response I scream out in a righteous fury "GLORY, GLORY MAN UNITED, GLOOOOOORY, GLOOOOOORY MAN UNIIIIIITEEEEED"
>Amerifats lock their collective ten ton attention on me
>There are around 7 Americans in Maccy D's as this time
>I charge the hat wearing cunt with a look of fierce determination
>"I bet yer know fuck all about Liverpool am I right mate?"
>"Uh... do I know you?"
>The Americunt is bedazzled as I lean over the table and get into his face. My sizeable beer gut crushing his big mac and painting itself with the McDonald's BBQ sauce
>"THIRTY YEARS WITHOUT A LEAGUE TROPHY HAHAHA. SLIPPY-G, SLIPPY-G!"
>"What's your fucking problem man? Just let me eat in peace."
>Just as I suspected, The Ameribeast probably doesn't know the first thing about the beautiful game and wears the hat to appear cultured.
>offended, I rip the hat from the Amerilards head and make a run for the exit
>Ameritard waddles after me screaming profanities
>as this is happening I manage to slip on a puddle of coke that an Amerimutt must have spilled like a typical Americuck tard.
>Bang my head on table
>Stitches cost 500$
What a shit hole. I'm going to Spain next time.

That would terrify me, honestly.
Fucking hell.

Holy shit what a faggot.
Sage.

we don't expect it at home is the thing

>be me
>walk into a store
>cashier says cash or credit
>I say ''EXCEWWWWWWZZZZZZZZ MEEEEEEE! MISS BUD COULD YOU REPEAT THAT"
>says it again
>WHAT WAS THAT? MAYBE SPEAK LOUDER, YOU ARE LIKE A MOUSE
>stupid europoors behind me are getting anxious because it is taking a little bit
>I notice their frustration
>I tell them that we had to wait on them to be taken over by the filthy Spics so we could liberate them
>some eurobitch shreeches that I am a fat American dog
>WAT
>AN INSULT
>I told her that she should put her tarp or whatever Muslim women wear back on and go back to her male chaperone or else the Europooric police will arrest her
>calls me a sexist pig
>I say that Trump is going to deport you back to womenlandia
>leave without my groceries or paying

Quality thread

>You'd all be speaking Japanese if it weren't for us
Dog bless usa

this is accurate tho

Thx best ally, you made my day!

I kek'd
thanks for the chuckle mate

>He is trying to socialize the goddamn sidewalk
U N D E R R A T E D

Kek

>Slippy G
Everytime

holy shit OP is on fire

You should sue them for $50,000