>be me >know French and Dutch >decide to be the "Ugly American" >go to the Netherlands >clap when the plane lands >all the Dutch are looking at me like I am a retard even though they were literally just in NYC >decide to wear a "Yankee's" baseball cap, a souvenir t-shirt, and cargo shorts with flip-flops and a pair of sunglasses pulled back on my hat >time to trigger some Europoors >go to a restaurant >no-one is there except the server and some Indian/Paki guy >I say ''ECKSKEWZ MI, LIDDIL LAIDEE, MAI I HAB A PRIME RIB KOOCKED WELL WITH KETCHUP" >says "huh" >say it louder and moving my hands >Paki/Indian or whatever guy laughs at his seat >she becomes visibly ass-devastated and cannot handle my superior American /bantz/ >she goes back into the kitchen and says some "fat, ugly, stupid american is here" in Dutch >Paki guy is still laughing uncontrollably >Make the loudest groan I could make and leave, I bet they looked like the angry crying wojak >decide to go liberate another establishment >even more dead, literally no-one except a server and a hostess >say "MAY I GET A LARGE HAMBURGER WITH FREEDOM FRIES TO GO" >they are confused >I know they speak English >they say to each other in Dutch >I am now a fat ugly american >I am 6''3 and 160 pounds I do not know what they're saying >decide to argue with them I am not fat in English >confused >they ask each other if I know Dutch >I put on a puzzled look >call the anti-American Muhammads and leave >They call me an evil racist
will continue if you care
William Perez
>go someplace to eat for real >next day >at hotel desk >give my American driver's license as an id card >says "Oh, you're an AMERICAN" >you want to play it that way Europoor >say "You'd all be speaking Japanese if it weren't for us" >the Europoor is buttblasted now >time to finish them off >say "you're food is awful, it literally made my poop solid, it should be liquid, that is how awful your food is" >she believes me >leave, saying, "Dutchie, you're too socialist to be even near our level of greatness"
I have more
Benjamin Cook
Booli
Luis Powell
All Americans should act like this in the Netherlands.
Jordan Hall
so this is how murica liberated europe in 1945
Charles Morales
please post more I haven't seen such an entertaining post in a while
Luis Price
gib more I wish I were wh*Te just so I could act like this and trigger wh*Teys in yurope
Alexander Gomez
>tfw epitome of a fat, ugly, amerishart >shameless wish I could do this myself show them the TRUE POWER of Ameriga
Liam Lopez
>walking down the street >stupid Europoor thinks he can be near me while walking >whatever, I know he is mentally deficient, so I will let this one slide >Europoor says, "make more room on the sidewalk, I do not need tourists taking up too much room" >what did the euroshit just do? He is trying to socialize the goddamn sidewalk >I tell him I make 6 figures therefore I should have more of the sidewalk and his poor ass should be in the poorhouse with the niggers >he calls me an elitist, racist, American pig >I say why do Muslims always need to call people pigs >he says he is obviously white >call him racist and he is a Muhammad and to enjoy being run over by Achmed >says I am a bigot >tell him the Trump is going to deport him from America back to the Middle East >this Europoor has met a level of ass-annihilation even I have ever seen >his face is red >he cannot handle my American /bantz/ >leave before he can respond
Alexander Collins
>father is argie >mother is from brazil >i look latino as fuck, but still exotic for chileans >i can make a good argie impression to fool chileans but not argies/uruguayans >use it to get special treatment in tourist locations >girls get easier when i do it
Only works on summer, but eh, still works.
Ryder Baker
Mutt
Jose Powell
based
Isaiah Taylor
>be ameriMIXED >be proudly 63% European, 27% BLACK, and 10% Cherokee >yet look wh*Te so people treat me like one >take a plane to hamburg because i'm feeling hungry >take up several seats with my rolls of fat and humongous dick that comes from my BLACK heritage >all the euro women take turns sucking my cock as their purebreed neutered soylent slurping husbands watch in impotent horror >even the pilot is intimidated, due to my sexual prowess and the fact that my weight is putting considerably stress on the plane >barely make it to the airport, i am disappointed with the flight but clap out of politeness >i walk into the airport and stop at the nearest mcdonalds >talk to the puny wh*Te boy at the register >"hey hans, is this the first person you served that wasn't a muslim >i laugh heartily. i can hear the women working there giggle softly with their eyes locked on my visibly erect dick >"no, can i take your order sir >"I'll take two big macs and a quarter pounder. the reason i like mcdick's so much is because they don't skimp out and sell third pounders, you know' >"would you like fries with that" >"NEIN" >wait for my order while making numerous sexual gestures toward the staff and ranom customers >"hey fatty, your order's ready >? >start to boil with rage at this insult >forcibly expel my remaining white genetics in the form of cum, spraying directly into the mouths of every girl in the store >"IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, YOU'D ALL BE SPEAKING GERMAN RIGHT NOW!!!" >start to morph into something so horrible and yet so beautiful that all pure Aryans who witness it die instantly >"WHITER THAN YOU, AHMED" >by now, my transformation is complete >i have become LA LUZ EXTUNGISHIDO >consume all of europe into my black abyss of a stomach >become the eternal BLACK emperor of the universe and usher in the end of history
Liam Wood
>decide to pay a visit to the Anne Frank house >other American tourists >walk outside >dutchie minding his own business a few FEET away >smoking a cigarette >I say "hey Eurotrash, enriching my people I see" >he is confused >that tobacco you're smoking is grown in America >he says it is fine tobacco from France or wherever >tell him it is surrender-monkey shit >tell him that you Danish better start defending against the Frenchie invasion >he says he is Dutch >I said what brings him to Copenhagen? >he says we are in Amsterdam >I say yes, the capital of Denmark >he says we are in the Netherlands >I say yes, because we're in Amsterdam >he says I am bad at geography like all Americans >I say listen, Eurotrash, the only reason you even EXIST is because we, your saviors in America, decided to give pity upon you and save you against the English menace >he says that it was Germany you we fighting against and the Canadians saved the whatever-the-country >I say but you are the Canadians >He says that he is Dutch >I say yes, from Sweden >He says that we are in his homecountry, the Netherlands, home of the Dutch >I said I thought you were Netherlandish >he says he is from the Netherlands, yes >I say I thought you were Dutch, from the Dutchboy paint factory >he says "NO NO NO, the Dutch are from the Netherlands >ask him why he is in the US >I say I am going to have to call the government to deport you now, Trump is going to fire you back from mexico from a cannon >he gets assmad and throws the cigarette into my face and throws coffee on my shirt >I say I am now going to sue him for everything he owns >he punches me >I push him onto the ground >I take a McDonald's hamburger wrapper with a half-eaten patty and throw it on him >he cries that it is disgusting >he says that us Americans are evil racists and fat and stupid >I say he is Muhammad, therefore, not white cont.
Bentley Barnes
>I say that I am 100% English, German, Morroccan, and Saudi therefore 100% white and he is just a Muhammad >fart in his general direction >throws coffee on me >leave >he just couldn't handle my superior /bantz/ like the digusting Muhammad he is
Mason Robinson
but these are true stories
Caleb Reyes
are you denying the power of the mixed man? know your history uncle hans
Austin Nguyen
lmao, I saying the ones I had the guts to do, not some shitty meme
Jose Ross
Kek. Americans thinking they're immune to this shit. >Be me >Britbong in Orlando, Florida on holiday >Throw on my dirtiest Manchester United clothes and become complete full-kit wanker >Walk up to Amerishart McDonald's worker >"Hot as fuck in't it lad?!" >The Amerishart freezes with horror at my unintelligible accent >"w-what would you like sir?" >"Bloody Hell! You're straight to the point aren't you mate? I'd like meself a couple o' nug-nugs and a fair few chips." >"Can you repeat that please si-" >I spot an Americlap with a Liverpool hat on. In response I scream out in a righteous fury "GLORY, GLORY MAN UNITED, GLOOOOOORY, GLOOOOOORY MAN UNIIIIIITEEEEED" >Amerifats lock their collective ten ton attention on me >There are around 7 Americans in Maccy D's as this time >I charge the hat wearing cunt with a look of fierce determination >"I bet yer know fuck all about Liverpool am I right mate?" >"Uh... do I know you?" >The Americunt is bedazzled as I lean over the table and get into his face. My sizeable beer gut crushing his big mac and painting itself with the McDonald's BBQ sauce >"THIRTY YEARS WITHOUT A LEAGUE TROPHY HAHAHA. SLIPPY-G, SLIPPY-G!" >"What's your fucking problem man? Just let me eat in peace." >Just as I suspected, The Ameribeast probably doesn't know the first thing about the beautiful game and wears the hat to appear cultured. >offended, I rip the hat from the Amerilards head and make a run for the exit >Ameritard waddles after me screaming profanities >as this is happening I manage to slip on a puddle of coke that an Amerimutt must have spilled like a typical Americuck tard. >Bang my head on table >Stitches cost 500$ What a shit hole. I'm going to Spain next time.
Wyatt Taylor
That would terrify me, honestly. Fucking hell.
Joshua Taylor
Holy shit what a faggot. Sage.
Cooper Harris
we don't expect it at home is the thing
Angel Cruz
>be me >walk into a store >cashier says cash or credit >I say ''EXCEWWWWWWZZZZZZZZ MEEEEEEE! MISS BUD COULD YOU REPEAT THAT" >says it again >WHAT WAS THAT? MAYBE SPEAK LOUDER, YOU ARE LIKE A MOUSE >stupid europoors behind me are getting anxious because it is taking a little bit >I notice their frustration >I tell them that we had to wait on them to be taken over by the filthy Spics so we could liberate them >some eurobitch shreeches that I am a fat American dog >WAT >AN INSULT >I told her that she should put her tarp or whatever Muslim women wear back on and go back to her male chaperone or else the Europooric police will arrest her >calls me a sexist pig >I say that Trump is going to deport you back to womenlandia >leave without my groceries or paying
Adrian Williams
Quality thread
Ian Fisher
>You'd all be speaking Japanese if it weren't for us Dog bless usa
Jace Collins
this is accurate tho
Nicholas Peterson
Thx best ally, you made my day!
Oliver Young
I kek'd thanks for the chuckle mate
Anthony Watson
>He is trying to socialize the goddamn sidewalk U N D E R R A T E D