You're now the sheriff of a small comfy town...

You're now the sheriff of a small comfy town. All is well until a giant shark starts killing the town folk in an almost unnatural way. It's up to you to save the people of the this small town sorrounded by water. WHAT DO YOU DO? how would YOU go about eliminating this shark problem?

I shift the blame to (((them))) and flee with all my embezzled funds.

Your family is now dead. The small town you once called home is lost. GAME OVER. Restart?

I would hire some soldiers of fortune who used to be a crack commando unit wrongfully imprisoned for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the Government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them…maybe you can hire them.

Hire a small start-up to develop an intelligent drone which can do battle with the shark.

I fly around the beach in a helicopter with a shit ton of hand grenades. Your move sharkboi

Convince the local school shooter kid it´s its duty to go full allahu ackbar on the shark.

More civilians die as these half baked and far fetched fantasy plans fail to eliminate the shark problem.

The A-Team never leaves any casualties. Despite the countless explosions, vehicles rolling over, and thousands of rounds being fired they never killed anyone. Their plans always come together in the end.

So far I have given the only correct answer.

SHARKINO

Throw a rock at it

Ask the shark nicely to go away

how do sharks establish dominance? I would do that

Never seen Jaws but I'd probably just wait for it to start chewing on a compressed O2 tank then shoot said tank with a .308.

Poison it with bait

It's probably not as simple as fucking it in the ass. It sure is easy for us humans to establish dominance. Do sharks even have buttholes? And if so I imagine it would be comically tiny for some reason so the logistics of putting my penis in it might be difficult.

Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Jaws Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Don't Go In The Water Like Nigga Go To The Park Or Some Shit

I'd feed the shark poisoned bait. Something the shark couldn't detect.

Find a way to get a pod of Orcas to hunt the shark for me or use a military grade troop transport copter and a meat hook with bait to lift the shark onto land

...

the town's businesses depended on the beach, no beach = no tourists = no customers

Put aside a fund for shark catchers then tell everyone it's hunting season and for every shark over 5ft they get $500.

Then i'll sit back as the sharks are hunted like a motherfucker, and then i'll sell their corpses to the fish markets and make some money back.

>Shark killing in an unnatural way
So he uses a chainsaw or something?

The movie was in the 70s or some shit. Orcas didn't even exist yet.

>using explosives against a shark is "half baked"
fuck off

Burn down the beach

You're not looking for tangerines bruh

1) catch blair with
2) throw tree slut in ocean
3) ????
4) profit

Same plan as before, except bring two boats and every man is armed for fucking war. The second it shows its face, blow its motherfucking face off. None of this hunting-rifle-into-exploding-barrel shit.

Haha yeah, what a dummy

Drain the ocean, and don't fill it back up until the shark is dead from lack of water

stuff a dead dolphin with high explosives and throw it in the water. shark go boom

>acquire genderfluid
>kill shark

>spine cracking sounds

I'll poison the whole sea, fuck the fishes

How do I know it wasn't just a series of unfortunate boating accidents?

Get a bigger boat.

>a shark can tank hits from grenades

>gets trapped on the USS Indianapolis' wreckage with tons of maneating sharks for a week
>gets eaten 30 years later by the biggest maneating shark in the world
Poor Quint

I go out naked into the ocean, covered in fish guts. The shark comes to me and I make it my bitch. It proceeds to commit suicide because of the rape it experienced at my hands.
>You win
>High score

hire some chinese