ITT: I spoil The Last Jedi

I got juicy stuff faggots. Ask away.

redpill me on force sloth

Spoil everything

Is she anakin?

How many fat chodes does OP suck in the movie?

how many orgasms did you give to women so far ?

Richard stop this NOW, you dont know the kind of people you are about to piss off.

Are Ren and Rey related?
Does Luke die?
Finn + Asian girl?
Who is Snoke?

Luke's first line?

Did Hux fuck Kylo boipussy hard?

Don't tell me how to live my life, Drew. I'm spilling everything.

Are they going to milk box office via death of Carrie Fisher?

Dick don't stop.
Keep pissing off those people.

Spill the beans.

You're gonna roll your eyes so fucking hard

Check your inbox rich

piss off you larping faggots

How many girls get BLACKED by Finn while Cuck Ren watches?

How Luke will die? does choke while sucking a dick?

das it mane

I don't feel spoiled enough

So is there going to be a speech? By whom?

Rey kills this scary ass sloth and then feels really bad when its "cubs" mourn the loss of their mother.

Finn has an extended suggestive hand holding scene with an unannounced male character

"No."

Adam Driver gives a monologue for the fucking ages.

How many scenes do you consider china pandering

No

No

Sort of

Luke Skywalker's bitch

>Adam Driver
I guess it will be less cringy than a speech from Ford or Mark

Every single one with Kelly. She is a fucking horrible actress.

Explain

Go figure. The marine from fucking Juliard can act.

Does Luke kill the Knights of Ren and if so how does he do it?

is there any kissing/romance/physical affection whatsoever

Ren's love interest?

I have a bad feeling about this

Lmfaoooooo I forgot just how much you guys don't know.

No. Luke is the master of the Knights of Ren. That's what he named his "Jedi" students.

oh shit

Kylo Ren/Rey

Is the force tree boy/girl thing true?

Does Kylo Ren "turn good"

>caring about 2017 disney star wars

Christ

Yes when he realizes Luke Skywalker has been playing him this whole time.

Is Donald Trump in the movie

So Luke is evil or at least pulling some shady shit? Why? Is he Snoke's fucking master or something?

Luke allowed Kylo to think he bested him, took control of his Knights of Ren, and is serving Snoke of his own free will when in reality everything happened by Luke's design and Snoke serves Luke.

Oh yeah. Luke's a bad guy now. How do you like that for a fucking twist faggots?

^^^ This guy fucks.

I fucking knew it
I said Luke would be evil way before we even knew shit about TFA and I was fucking right

what are those new revelations related to the force they always talk about?

Does anyone of importance die? Also what's the biggest shock/reveal? Is it that Luke's bad? Pretty meh if you ask me. Curious to see Driver change his character

playing with him?
my dude just killed his father.
for prank?

Well then what's Luke's endgame?
Is he a Kreia figure now?

He became evil to restore the balance to the force, right?

M I S D I R E C T I O N

Luke talks about this new view of the Force and you buy into it til you learn he's evil.

I like this the only good news I heard so far

how does leia die?

not gonna lie that's actually pretty good
So the force tree and the light/dark siblings is just Luke's new-age bullshit

Let me guess... Leia died of a broken heart?

this is already known faggit

How bad are you feeling deflecting all those insults about your sex life? I mean come on, you care about Star Wars, it must get to you you worthless nerdy faggot.

...

the light/dark silbings are canon the clone wars

A shot in the dark guesses like that is not really something to be proud of

>I know shit : ask me questions
aka "I don't know shit and I need questions to base my lies on".

does kylo kill anyone important?

They're really determined to completely erase the intention of Lucas' original trilogy, aren't they? Is this actually a conscious effort to dilute the relevance of the "hero's journey"/monomyth and classical moral archetypes by the people in charge? How much of this is Kennedy's doing?

Everybody knew that. Kights of Ren(aissance of the jedi Order)

Kylo Ren (sKYwalker-soLO Renaissance/Reborn)

Yeah well I got so much shit for daring to suggest that Luke might fall after the events of ROTJ so it just feels nice to know I was right
If true, it will upset a great many people in the fanbase though
>"this completely ruins Luke's arc in the original trilogy!"
is what you will be hearing

64 replies and no complete list of the 'spoilers'. nice b8 m8

WE HAVE A WINNER!

What move does Luke do that kills a bunch of dudes at once?

Luke is possessed by Palpatine. It happened after Vader killed him in RotJ. Force Ghost Possession or some shit. It just took a few years for Sheev to build his trenght back and actually possess Luke's body. When Luke was trying to recreate the Jedi order, Sheev was in his head but soudn't do shit because he was too weak from dying.

Oh he gives a nice little monologue about power and order that will satisfy even the biggest Luke golden boy fans.

Tell me about Snoke

the propaganda and social conditioning this new trilogy aims to inject into the unsuspecting youth doesn't seem to be going any deeper than stronk wymmin and whitey is evil so far

oddly disappointing from such a giant as disney, or maybe it will all be revealed after this film releases

Who the fuck is Snoke if Luke is the big bad?

Man, if even half of this is true, I would not be surprised if Kucas kills himself or go on a shooting spree on disney. He should have added a clawback clause to the sales contract.

HE LITERALLY CALLS LIGHTNING DOWN FROM THE SKY AND IT IS THE COOLEST FUCKING THING EVER

Snoke is misdirection to set up a "I am your father" level twist about Luke being evil

But WHY is Luke evil? What's his plan, what does he want to do?

Delete this.

He's literally Luke's bitch. That's it.

Seems about right for Rian Johnson. Dude hates men almost as much as Paul Feig.

Luke is evil because of artificial "dark midichlorians" engineered by the New Order.

oh boy, more boring Bendu shit

W I N N E R

This is Disney please delete this thread

Sounds like they took Dark Empire's storyline, but didn't make Luke go back to the Light Side after it.

You don't know shit faggot.

So, he's just a rich dude that's force sensitive and Luke is using his money to build all the FO stuff?

This thread feels legit. I feel it in my loins.

Screencapped.

Bet faggot

mmmmmmmmmm...

desu it could be the best thing to happen, but muh Disney and familykino

The black community is going to looooove this kek

This is Reddit please delete this post

Why is Luke isolated on that planet?

No, he's rich because he serves Luke.

I wish I were him. He's so fucking talented. Even with that weird-ass face of his I wish I were him.

>Luke is the actual main villain and Snoke was just a red herring
I can't wait to see the fallout from this

Does any these three dudes show up? And if yes then what do they do and are they against or with Luke?

Awesome